Tampon Slave
![](/file/0aa04defda813d1ef0ac0.gif)
đ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE đđ»đđ»đđ»
Tampon Slave
15 Books Like 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' Thatâll Be The Ultimate Beach Read
15 Reasons Why You Should Spend More Time With Yourself
12 Fourth of July Recipes From TikTok To Try For Red, White, And Blue Deliciousness
© 2022 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
Depending on how old you are, tampons are either your best friend or your worst nightmare.
At 14, I wouldn't dare look at my vagina, let alone stick something that frightening inside of it (cue dick jokes here). But now, at the ripe age of 21 going on 22, I'll shove one up there as far as my hand will let me go.
Hell, I don't even need the smooth, pearly kind -- cardboard will do just fine. Give me one made of burlap if you want to challenge me. I'm fearless.
This eight-year process of learning to love tampons didn't come without its setbacks, as every woman has had an experience with a tampon that made her question why she ever decided to make the permanent switch from pads in the first place (because we all know that once the switch is made, it's permanent ).
For example, my biggest setback happened in college. I was sitting in my dorm room the morning after having hooked up with someone the night before when I realized I didn't know where the f*ck my tampon from yesterday was.
Panic infused the very depths of my soul, because either that motherf*cker was lodged way, way up in my goddamn uterus and threatening me with TSS, or it fell out and was patiently waiting to be discovered in that guy's bed and wreak havoc on his life. I didn't know which option was worse.
Immediately, I screamed for my roommate, who was pre-med and therefore way more equipped to handle medical crises than I was, and hurried to the bathroom.
Then, as thoughts of blood-soaked wads of cotton strewn across my crush's lightly-colored sheets plagued my greatest, wildest, most unimaginable fears, I pried open my vagina and searched for the light -- but, to my utter, utter dismay, to no avail.
In a fit of hysteria, I Ubered to the hospital, figuring a hospital visit was a less humiliating way to determine the tampon's whereabouts than a "Hey, have you seen something that vaguely resembles a dead rabbit foot in your bed? Lmk." text.
In the exam room, a doctor propped my legs up on stirrups, did some excavating with tools that looked like pliers from a funhouse, and came to the conclusion that, yes, that tampon was indeed lodged inside my uterus, and I would have never been able to get it out on my own because of how deeply it had plunged and how tightly the string had wrapped itself around the cotton.
It was traumatizing. I was traumatized. To be honest, I still am. And so is my dad probably, because he was billed $900 for the ordeal.
But I beat on, a boat against the current. As did everyone else below, who also have horrifying tampon experiences.
Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily
NEXT GALLERY
Wierd Soaps
Tags:
epic
fail
win
hot
babe
tampon
string
fight
funny
cool
tedrusty
Uploaded 10 hours ago
in
ftw
Uploaded 9 hours ago
in
wtf
Uploaded 11 hours ago
in
creepy
Uploaded 14 hours ago
in
Funny
Uploaded 11 hours ago
in
ouch
Uploaded 20 hours ago
in
Funny
Uploaded 14 hours ago
in
eww
Uploaded Yesterday
in
wow
Notifications
Advertising
Privacy
Terms
DMCA
Contact
Plus: Is drinking urine bad for you?
by
jmartinache
September 17th, 2010 May 14th, 2021
"I live in D.C. and want local news."
"Y'all are doing real local D.C. journalism."
" Washington City Paper has made me feel like I am part of the D.C. community."
Iâm sorry about sending this letter to you via snail mail. I donât want to send an e-mail because Iâd rather not have a record of this living forever on some server somewhere.
About six months ago, after watching my girlfriend insert a tampon, I asked if I could do it for her next time. She thought it was an odd request but agreed. After âhelpingâ a few times, the conversation turned to what it felt like to wear one. Her response was, âWant to try one yourself?â
With her helpâand a little lubeâsoon there was a string hanging out of my butt. This has now become a regular feature of our sex life. And if this is not strange enough, I have now started doing this when I masturbate alone. I actually went out and got my own box of tamponsâTampax Pearl Plastic Regular are the best (theyâre the easiest to insert)âwhich I keep hidden.
1. Why do I get such a euphoric feeling when I pull the tampon out when Iâm coming? Does it have something to do with my prostate?
2. Am I doing any damage to myself?
3. Just how deviant is this practice?
4. Do you think I could sell the idea to Tampax as a whole new market segment?
âThe Ass Manâs Peculiar Anal Xccentricity
1. The tampon in your ass swells as it absorbs lube and rectal mucus and whatever else, TAMPAX, and stimulatesâyes indeedâyour prostate as it swells. Yanking the tampon out when youâre coming further stimulates your prostate at the exact moment itâs being zapped by orgasmic contractionsâcontractions that involve your anal sphincter, which youâre also stimulating as you yank. A butt plug would provide you with the exact same sensationsâwell, the exact same physical sensations. Part of the tampon-related thrill for you, I suspect, is the gender-transgression aspect of this. Youâre not just penetrating yourself, TAMPAX, youâre penetrating yourself with an absorbent feminine talisman. Not all men who enjoy anal penetration are interested in being symbolically feminizedâahemâbut clearly you are, TAMPAX.
2. My hunch: As long as youâre using lube and not leaving âem in for days at a time, you should be fine. And a medical expert I consultedâwho wished to remain anonymous (he didnât want his name linked forever to anal tampon play on some server somewhere, either)âbacked me up. âThis would pose zero risk,â says my medical expert. âMedically, thereâs nothing else to say about it.â
3. When it comes to human sexuality, TAMPAX, deviation from imaginary and tyrannical ânormsâ is the norm.
4. Seeing as condom manufacturers still refuse to market their products for anal sexâor directly to gay menâthe odds that Tampax will move aggressively into the straight-dudes-with-strings-hanging-out-of-their-butts market seems pretty slim. âDan
I had a conversation over lunch with a gay friend who is into BDSM as a dominant. He told me heâs âcoachingâ a novice dom, a young straight fellow who doesnât have much experience but who is into very heavy bondage and âsome stuff that is potentially dangerous.â My friend warned him away from the dangerous stuff and is coaching him on safer and saner pursuits. The interesting thing, however, is that, whatever they do, they must both be fully clothed at all times. The reason? The young fellow is LDS, i.e., Mormon. For most people, BDSM is inescapably tied up (no pun intended) with sexuality, but leave it to a Mormon to attempt to de-eroticize erotic bondage!
Pornography, on the other hand (also no pun intended), is a serious plague destroying the moral fiber of this country. But not to worry: Deseret Book, the Mormon Churchâs publishing arm, has developed the âClean & Safe Media Pledge.â Youâre supposed to download it, print it out, sign it, and put it near your computer. Then you donât have to worry about porn ever again! âLatter Day Taint
Thereâs a lot of cross-orientation play in the BDSM scene these days, LDT, which has become less sexually segregated with every passing year. Skills are skills: An inexperienced straight bondage top can learn a lot from a gay bondage expert. The experience may be less erotic, or less intense, than being tied up by someone youâre physically and emotionally attracted to, of course, but it is still eroticâstreet clothes and/or magic underpants notwithstanding.As for the Mormon Churchâs âClean & Safe Media Pledge,â LDT, that seems to work about as well as those purity pledges taken by countless unwed teen moms. Utah has the highest per capita online-porn consumption rates in the country. âDan
I recently had a delightful evening out on the town with a friend of mine. Things got a little out of hand and both of us drank a small amount of a female bartenderâs urine. I would say it was about one ounce each. We were pretty drunk, and Iâm not quite sure what led up to it. I think I was trying to prove something. I think we were trying to show how âbadassâ we were. It sounds really goddamn stupid when I type it out. The urine was clear and it had little taste, but now I am concerned about the health risks. What sort of diseases could I contract? âWorried About Serverâs Piss
You can scratch âdrink a random bartenderâs pissâ off your bucket list, WASP, but everyone else out there reading has to add it to theirs. Drinking urine presents no risk of HIV infection and low to no risk for just about everything save cooties. Hepatitis is blood-borne, and if there wasnât any blood in your bartenderâs urineâand if you didnât have any cuts or open sores in your mouthâthen you probably donât have anything to worry about.
But you know what? Youâre going to worry regardless, WASP, until you know for sure that you didnât catch anything. So go see a doctor and get your bad ass tested. âDan
Your maple-syrup fetishist from last weekâthe guy who had to smell maple syrup to get offâshould find someone who is working on her milk supply or really likes fenugreek. While I was trying to nurse my son, I took fenugreekâan herb that helps with milk productionâand, by God, I smelled like a Waffle House in all the important places. Sadly, my husband did not share ORGASMâs kink and was actually a little bit alarmed at my eau-de-pancakes aroma. âIntriguingly Hot Odorous Pussy
Thanks for the tip, IHOP. And you werenât the only reader with a tip for someone whose letter ran in last weekâs column. Seeking Slave Foodâs mistress wanted to deny him the pleasures of food, and he was looking for a âslopâ that was âhighly nutritious but as bland-tasting as possible.â I urged him to patronize vegan restaurants where he livesâmuch to the consternation of the vegans. (Apparently, vegans are prejudiced against BDSMers and donât want to dine with themâwho knew?) But readers suggested that SSF try Nutraloaf, âa food served in United States prisons to inmates who have demonstrated significant behavioral issues,â according to its Wiki page. And my readers had lots of suggestions for the man who wanted to find straight porn for his iPhone: mobileboner.com, pornhub.com, tube8.com, thehun.com, americansfortruth.com, and spankwire.com. âDan Savage
Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.
We don't have one. Readers like you keep our work free for everyone to read. If you think that it's important to have high quality local reporting we hope you'll support our work with a monthly contribution.
Events: A heads up about City Paper events, from panels to parties.
This site, like many others, uses small files called cookies to help us improve and customize your experience.
Dolores Del RĂo Nude
Best Blowjob Ever Seen
Madeliene Stowe Nude