Talking Mom

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Talking Mom
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My mother has Alzheimer's, a disease that affects both memory and cognitive abilities. What follows is an actual conversation I had with my mom. I want to show those caregivers whose family members are still in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s how it can manifest and that patience is the greatest skill caregivers can have.
Mom: Oh, hi, Julie; I didn’t know you were here.
Me: Yea, I’ve been here for a couple of weeks. What are you up to today?
Me: Do you have any plans for today?
Mom: I’m making lunch for your dad.
Me: Maybe you should wait a little bit. It’s only 10:00.
Mom: I just talked to him. He said he’s on his way.
Me: Did you see this note that he won’t be home for lunch today?
Mom: Oh, (reading the note) I will not be home for lunch today; chicken for dinner. Oh, ok.
Me: It’s kind of early. Are you sure he’s coming home for lunch?
Mom: Yea, he’s upstairs sleeping. He’s not feeling well. He said he’d be right down for soup. (Reading the note again) I will not be home for lunch. Oh, but he said he was coming down anyway. He’s late getting up this morning.
Me: Please leave the cat dishes there.
Me: We just saw them. They need their food and water, or they will go hungry.
Mom: Oh, ok. I haven’t seen my cats for days. They ran away.
Me: I just saw Max in the hallway. Please don’t put the cat dishes in the dining room.
Mom: My cats are gone. They died a while ago.
Me: My cats are here, and they need some food to eat. Please stop putting the dishes full of food in the dining room.
Mom: Your dad should be home for lunch soon.
Me: Oh, he left a note on the table saying he wouldn’t be home for lunch today.
Mom: There’s a sandwich on the counter for him.
Me: I don’t think Dad will be home for lunch. It’s a few hours from lunch time anyways. Do you want to eat the sandwich?
Me: Let’s wrap it up and put it away. Do you want the soup?
Me: Please leave the cat dishes there. I’ve seen the cats all around.
Mom: I used to have cats. I don’t know what happened to them.
Me: It’s still morning. Let’s put the raw chicken for dinner back in the fridge.
Me: I know, but we shouldn’t leave raw meat out all day.
Mom: (Reading note again) I will not be home for lunch today; chicken for dinner. Oh, I guess your dad won’t be home for lunch.
Me: Mom, please leave the raw chicken in the fridge. It’s only 10:00 in the morning.
Me: I don’t think he will be home for lunch.
Mom: Oh, I made soup. He must not be feeling well. Is he upstairs sleeping?
Mom: I just got off the phone with him. He’s on his way.
Me: Look, he left a note saying he won’t be home for lunch today. I think he said he had a meeting to go to.
Mom: (Reading note again) Oh, and chicken for dinner.
Me: Please leave the cat food out. The cats need to eat.
Mom: But I haven’t seen my cats for weeks. I think they ran away.
Mom: Oh. Your dad’s on his way home for dinner.
Me: Mom, it’s still morning. Leave the chicken in the fridge.
Me: Do you have anything you need to do today?
Mom: No, not really. It’s kind of boring being in a big house all day.
Mom: Yea. There’s a lot to do in such a big house.
Me: Please leave the cat dishes right there.
Mom: But I don’t have cats anymore.
Me: I’m sure we just saw one of them. My cats are here too, and they need food to eat.
Mom: Oh, are you sure? I haven’t seen my cats in ages.
Me: Max was just here, and Callie sleeps on you every night.
Mom: Your dad just called. He’s on his way home for lunch.
Mom: (Reading note) I will not be home for lunch today; chicken for dinner. Oh, better defrost some chicken.
Me: There’s defrosted chicken in the fridge already. You should leave it there. It’s still morning.
If you are providing care for a loved one living with Alzheimer’s, it might seem that the word “no” has become a natural response to any question. “Ready for your shower?” “No.” “Are you hungry?” “No.”
Communication is hard for people with Alzheimer’s disease because they have trouble remembering things. They may struggle to find words or forget what they want to say.
While my husband David did not die from his cancer, his diagnosis did introduce the stark reality of what could happen.
To be entrusted with the care of another human being is one of the greatest honors that can be bestowed on you
All comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
Already been through this stage with my mom, and it only gets worse from here. Sorry!
Patti Cassel more than 3 years ago | reply
All comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
My father died in September and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in November but all the signs have been there for several year but my father ignored them until he was too sick to care for himself. Then it took a nasty turn. Then he would make threats to divorce my mother after 64+ years of marriage. Then I had to step in. His Parkinson's and the fact he was suffering from TAI or mini strokes cause so much drama it has created problems for the family after his passing. As the child of these two parents sometimes you have to become the wall between them to save both of them. My mother could not care for my father and between long term health care insurance and hospice I have kept my sanity and now I have quit working to be my mothers caretaker. She cannot drive. For some reason the doctors had her on high blood pressure meds but her blood pressure very normal and not elevated. Once I have removed the meds and with doctors being notified we have found that some of the Alzheimer's has taken a step back and she has more recall and more cognitive skills. Remember to watch them to see why and when they are missing some skills and you may find out it is not as bad as it could be up front.
A.G. Smith more than 3 years ago | reply
All comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.
My mom is not quite to this point yet, but I am having to try to understand questions and comments that make no sense. Today when we went to doctor, she wanted to know if the doctor was going to buy her transport chair. Yesterday she claimed that some guy was out in the yard taking up carpet! Trying hard to have patience.
Sher more than 4 years ago | reply
All comments are moderated and generally will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive.

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Which language would you LOVE to talk in with your family?


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Your dream language Spanish French German Italian Brazilian Portuguese Chinese {Mandarin} Japanese Hebrew Romanian Korean Russian
Your dream language Spanish French German Italian Brazilian Portuguese Chinese {Mandarin} Japanese Hebrew Romanian Korean Russian
What if you could teach your kids a foreign language even if you don’t speak one yourself?
From day one, you and your family can be talking in your dream language.
Seriously. From day one.
Start Speaking TODAY in Just 7 Minutes!
Get the FREE Starter Pack now. You will hear your kids speaking and understanding a foreign language in minutes.
Includes Native Speaker Audio & Printables! Yay!
We know parents are the most successful language teachers in the world. (Who taught your kids to talk?)
With TalkBox.Mom, you go beyond your child(ren) learning grammar and vocabulary. You actually have your entire family using your dream language every single day.
Afterall, languages are meant to be used (not just conjugated), so you and your family can do more good in the world, connect with other cultures as you travel, and expand your work and educational opportunities.
With our program, you learn a foreign language as a family the same way you learned your first: talking as life happens!
With your subscription, you skip all the busy work, getting your language guides delivered in the mail–ready for you to put up and use.
You immediately practice with the native speaker audio in our members only app, which comes with your purchase.
You use the phrases you’ve been practicing as life happens, filling your day with your dream language–box after box.
There are three things I want you to ask yourself.
Pretend a beautiful, magical fairy was like, “Poof! **glitter flies everyhwere** You can speak [whatever language],” and OMG your whole family is speaking in that langauge! How would your life instantly change? Which language would help you the most right now? Would it change your job or spouse’s job? Could you connect more with your community?
Which language would change you and your child’s future educational, work, and service opportunities? If you could actually talk in a language, which language would open up opportunities that align with your long term goals?
Is there a language that you HAVE ALWAYS wanted to learn? Is there a langauge that is near and dear to your heart? Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. And your passion to learn a language will outway the logic of it.
It’s important that your family picks a language that you want to do. It takes work and commitment on your part. Whatever language you choose, opportunities you didn’t realize will find their way to you because you speak that language. (Also, it’s easier to learn another language after you’ve already learned one.)
If you’re having trouble choosing between two or three, scroll down and sign up for the ball challenge to try out a language.
Yes, it’s true. Families in Switzerland will speak 3 or 4 languages because there are 4 national languages. Nothing is stopping you from learning more than one–except your overwhelm level.
Our rule is that you never overwhelm mom. Whatever language you choose, you’ll be using it as a family. If you choose more than one, you need to break up your day or switch off days focusing on each language. If this sounds overwhelming, start with one and then add on another later when it doesn’t feel so overwhelming.
You can also have one child in charge of making sure one language is spoken at an agreed upon time and another child making sure the other is being spoken.
Grab these products for TalkBox.Mom Families.
You want to actually use the language every day with your family. You’ll make a ton of progress.
You want your child to learn on their own. We’re not for you.
Thousands of families only need seven minutes to start talking in and understanding a foreign language. Is your family ready to try?
Fill out the form before to start our ball challenge that gets your entire family talking!
Hello! I’m Adelaide, the founder of TalkBox.Mom.
Something that’s very special about our family is
When we arrive in a new country we can start talking in that language the same day we get there.
After about 2 weeks, we’re talking and understanding the locals. And they’re understanding us.
Within a couple of months, they think we’ve been living there for over a year.
This is what I poured into TalkBox.Mom.
I work with native speakers all over the world to create the best and most loved language program for families.
When I’m not traveling with my family and homeschooling my boys, I’m at our TalkBox.Mom Headquarters in Dallas or speaking at conferences all over the world.
Get started with our Foreign Language Starter Pack. Includes native speaker audio and printables.

The Blacker the Content the Sweeter the Truth
The Blacker the Content the Sweeter the Truth
Small Town Horror: The Story of the Little Boy with a Whip in Hand
Hillary Clinton on the Importance of Prioritizing Joy
Small Town Horror: The Story of the Little Boy with a Whip in Hand
Hillary Clinton on the Importance of Prioritizing Joy
The other night, I was having a phone conversation with my mother, catching her up on everything that had been going on with me this week. I got to a part in the story where I made a mention of dickfishing, and it occurred to me that she might not know what it meant.
So I asked her, “Do you know what dickfishing means?”
Letting out a long, heavy sigh, she said, “I know you gonna tell me.”
I continued, and explained to her that dickfishing is when a man catfishes his penis. In other words, he either uses pictures that aren’t his, or he is so adept at angles that when you see the real thing, you are disappointed because it doesn’t match the pictures you saw in size or proportion.
I told her that the reason I suspected this particular gentleman had dickfished me is that the pictures he sent and the penis I saw in the stroke video I got from him didn’t match up in size. Then I paused again.
Sleep well on the go The sturdy coil beam construction supports your back and is perfect for those camping trips when you don’t want to wake up hunched over like a question mark.
“Mommy, do you know what a stroke video is?”
This time, she signed with annoyance.
“I’ve had men send me stroke videos before,” she said.
First of all, I wasn’t ready. Second of all, who are you pervs that are sending my mama stroke videos?!
The whole thing got me thinking—am I the only person who has always been able to talk to my mom like this?
Don’t get me wrong. My mom thinks I cuss way too fucking much. Sometimes I will let a string of polysyllabic cuss words fly out and she will say, “Monique! Your mouth!”
But she knows her child. She has always been the biggest supporter of my writing, going back to the early days of blogging when I had a site called Hideous Kinky.
I talked about everything on that blog, much as I do in this column (it was fate, really), and she read my work daily. She was an active participant in the comments section, and she often made an appearance in the more tame, family-friendly posts.
People who have been following me on the internet for a while know and love my mama. Everyone calls her Ms CJay.
Ms CJay understands that my mouth is foul, but I come by it honestly—and if we are being real, she should be used to it because I get it from her mama.
I learned all my best cuss words from my granny. My favorite insult, you son of a syphilitic bitch, was passed down to me by my granny when I was still a teenager. She was a real one.
A lot of my philosophies on men come from my granny. She always told me and my cousins, “Keep an extra man in your pocket and make sure they stay out of yours.” I live that to this day.
She taught me that “a man is a first cousin to a dog,” and “a hard dick don’t have no conscience.”
My grandmother was not the best cook, but she had worldly wisdom for your ass.
I also got my inner “ho” from my granny. There was no shame in her game. My mother will kill me for saying this, but my granny was so cold with it, she used to bring all her side pieces around us when we were younger. We didn’t even blink.
My mother is more of a prude than I am, but she gets me in a way that others don’t, and it is this part of her that I appreciate most.
My mama knows that I am nothing if not Rosetta’s grandchild. She knows that I am a straight shooter. She knows that I am quick to cuss someone out, but good with the soft words, too.
My mama can listen to me talk like this because she knows I will talk about penises just as openly as I will talk about social justice issues.
She loves and appreciates everything that makes me Monique. She tells me frequently that she admires my openness and my fearlessness. And I love her for it.
She follows me on Twitter, and she favorites a good majority of my tweets, but most especially the ratchet ones.
It’s macaroni art 2.0. She can’t hang it on her fridge, but she can read along and think about how simultaneously funny and absurd her daughter can be in any moment.
So yeah, she’s my mama, and while there are some things I don’t tell her (I mean, I have to keep some shit to myself), she gonna get these sex jokes and read my nightly column and all my news articles and appreciate the woman I grew up to be. Most of it is because she let me be me.
When I was a teenager, I used to tell her that as soon as I graduated from high school, I was going to get a job as a stripper. Then I would do this little twerking dance in front of her to demonstrate what I meant.
She laughed every time and told me that if she or anyone she knew ever saw my naked ass swinging from a pole, she would kill me.
I didn’t become a stripper after all, but I still get to be raunchy every night, and you don’t have to kill me.

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