Taking Nudes

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Taking Nudes
The Gentleman’s Guide to Taking and Sending Nudes
There's never been a better time to master the fine art of the naked selfie. 
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As many people are doing their civic duty and practicing social distancing to try to stop the spread of COVID-19, one side effect cannot be ignored: everyone is really horny, and seemingly getting hornier by the day. We’re isolated and alone, with days spent at home stretching out in front of us like a desert with no end in sight. Porn viewership is up, sex toy sales are through the roof, and cam sites are doing well, too. While I can’t guarantee that anyone wants to have sex more than before, it's certain that we're all getting it less. There's an insatiable need for connection—sexual connection, specifically. It is high time for nudes.
The act of sending someone nude photos is a salad of risk, vulnerability, and intimacy—some of the most important ingredients of horniness. While it once was somewhat taboo, it's standard, if still spicy, fare these days. One survey found that about one third of people under 45 have sent nude photos before, and I would be shocked if that number hasn’t gone up during our winter of distancing. Virtually everyone surveyed is at least on board with sexts, but how do you make the jump from flirty sexting to nudes? And how, if called upon, do you take a hot pic yourself? Let me—and some of my fellow nude enthusiasts—tell you the rules.
Whether we’re talking in-person or on-screen, seeing your body naked is still seeing your body naked. You should therefore never surprise a person with a nude pic unless you two have a longstanding relationship where you frequently show each other your naked bodies. Okay? Obviously, you should only be sending nudes to someone who asked for them, but you should also be building up to the ass selfie or sultry bedroom shot just like you would with real life nudity.
So, you want to start by exchanging verbal sexts before you get to visual stuff. And it’s typical to ask someone to show something of themselves before you offer up your own pics, but if you really want to send before receiving, it can be finessed. The key is to ask if they’re down to see something. You can straight up say, “I’m so turned on; can I send a pic?” Or you can be a little more subtle, like, “I wish I could show you how hard I am,” and let them take the next step and ask.
Just because someone has sent you a naked photo does not mean they’re expecting you to send one back. You should still give someone a heads up before you reciprocate. And of course, you never have to.
Butts are pretty much universal in their appeal, so don’t be afraid to show it off. As Kelly put it, “I like to see some ass and thighs. Men don't show their asses to us enough, to be honest.” Use a mirror if you feel like you can’t get the angle right, or lie on your stomach and take a photo over your shoulder.
But (not a pun), don’t be afraid to send pics of less traditionally sexy body parts. Nicole, 25 from Chicago said, “I’m into chest hair, so I used to sext with a guy who knew that and would send pics of his torso mostly, with just a hint of dick.” Multiple people I talked to extolled the virtues of the classic lifted shirt pic, “The best nude photo I've ever received was a guy pulling up his shirt with his teeth, revealing his abs and pecs...Sounds super cliché but he pulled it off,” said Marina, 23, from Drammen, Norway.
We all understand the potential danger of nude photos , unfortunately. Of course, in an ideal world it’s not a big deal that someone—gasp—has a naked body, but clearly we don’t live in that world. So to adjust, keep your face out of the picture along with any identifying tattoos (if you can and you want to take that precaution). But also know that you don’t have to go full nude to be sexy.
In fact, underwear pics are often even hotter than sending a straight up photo of your junk. As Maxwell, 33, from Chicago said, “If a guy wears some kind of sexy underwear and poses in it, I am very, very into that. Dick pics have nothing on a good undergarment.” Don’t be afraid to artfully arrange the covers on your bed to hide certain parts you don’t want seen. The art of the nude selfie is all about showing off what you’ve got, not showing everything you’ve got.
This is not a full on A24 film production, and I get that, but please know that lighting is the reason that some of us look “so good” in selfies and just like a Normal Lady the rest of the time. Steph, 26, from Los Angeles said, “My boyfriend puts filters on his nudes and always sets up the shot so it's just, like, a nice photo to look at and that really does it for me!”
Bright overhead lights are probably not your friend. Aim for either natural, afternoon-to-evening light , or dim bedside table light if you want to go for something a little more moody. Either way, you should be facing the light source when you take the picture. The light should never be behind you.
And as for camera position, Kelly, 35 from San Francisco put it perfectly. “Guys often take their dick pics top-down, from their own perspective, which is honestly probably the least attractive angle.” She’s correct! Your phone should be level to your chest or lower, and the further away you can have the phone from you, the better. It might sound try-hard but self timers are there for a reason, and what else are you doing with your evenings these days?
The tone of your pictures does not need to be rose petals on the bed or I-take-my-Tinder-pics-next-to-cars. ( Also never do that .) In fact, being playful and flirtatious rather than serious or domineering is probably a more appealing approach. You don’t even have to be doing specifically sexy stuff.
If you’re struggling to capture the right vibe with a still, sometimes taking a video can seem less staged and artificial than a photo. As Ginger, 21, from Niagara Falls put it, “I once had a dude send me a video of himself shirtless in an apron pouring rum into a chicken dish he was making and that almost killed me.” Jodie, 27 from Sydney agreed, saying, “Cheeky videos are always my favorite. When they make their dick do the jumpy thing. Ugh. I die.”
You don’t need to shift your persona into Joe Manganiello mode to take a sexy picture. This should not feel like a chore or a great endeavor. You should be enjoying the process as you go. Sending someone a nude should turn you on, too. If you’re too serious or intense about your nudes, you risk coming across a 50 Shades of Gray cornball.
Whatever you do, promise me one thing: please— please —no nudes with socks on.
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I Can’t Take a Cute Nude to Save My Life, so I Asked Boudoir Photographers for Help
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Photo by bombuscreative / Graphic by Zackary Angeline
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2. The coy, “I’m just lying in bed” pose:
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3. The semi-erotic, closed-eye pose:
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4. The artsy, “admire the curves of my body” standing pose:
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6. The “oh don’t mind me touching my lip” pose:
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7. The elbows up, arched back pose:
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10. The zoomed-out butt appreciation pose:
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11. The very zoomed-in butt appreciation pose:
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At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable .
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In many areas, I crave consistency. I like when the subway comes on time and how my hair will be reliably perfect on the third day since my last wash . But one area where I’m disappointingly consistent is in my abysmal failure to take a sexy selfie . Whether I’m standing in front of my bathroom mirror, lying on my bed, or sneaking a quick nip shot in a bathroom stall at a bar, it never goes well.
Sometimes the lighting is dim or the camera lens on my phone is dirty. Other times, I can't convince my face and body to do something sexy at the same time. The result is always a weirdly cropped, uncomfortable-looking photo that I'd rather delete than send to anyone else. And that sort of defeats the purpose of a nude selfie—at least, the ones I'm taking.
Instead of continuing to suffer from my chronic inability to take a hot nude, I turned to the experts: three New York City-area boudoir photographers who set, light, and shoot sexy photos as their actual jobs. Then I did an IRL boudoir shoot with one of them. Emerging from this session a bit wiser and with a much more convincing sultry bottom lip bite, I took everything I learned and applied it to my DIY “nudes” (which, for the purposes of this article, are not nude at all). Here’s literally everything I learned about how to take sexier nudes.
Disclaimer: There are, of course, no official “rules.”
I chatted with Irina Mednik of French Kiss Boudoir Photography , Elizabeth Beskin of 5th Avenue Digital , and Evgenia Ribinik of Evgenia Ribinik Boudoir Photography to get the lowdown on boudoir photography.
For the record, there’s an obvious difference between boudoir photos and nude selfies; one is the product of high-quality equipment and a professional photographer ’s keen eye, and the other is a product of, well, a naked bod and a cell phone. Still, the photographers gave me a lot of advice I didn’t know I needed, and I got something of a crash course in the art of nude photography.
Their first lesson: Mood matters, as much as any pose or facial expression. This shocked me. I’ve always been one to run to the nearest mirror and snap a quick pic—throwing caution, mental preparation, and lighting concerns to the metaphorical wind. No longer. According to my boudoir gurus, I should put some serious thought into wardrobe, lighting, scenery, and ~setting the mood~.
Their second lesson: When it comes to poses and facial expressions, less is more. I have a hard time getting my face to behave when I’m posing for pictures—nude or not—but all three photographers encouraged me to chill . The same goes for posing. Beskin told me that some of the most beautiful boudoir shots are those that capture natural, imperfect moments—because they capture the kind of authentic intimacy you share with your partner on a regular basis.
Something all three photographers mentioned was that a lot of the “magic” of a boudoir session happens on-set—in the communication between photographer and model. I’m the kind of person who learns by doing, so I thought I’d give the whole boudoir thing a shot and (hopefully) walk away with a few observations I could apply to my own nudes.
Full disclosure: Ribinik provided me with the session and the photos for free as part of this story—which I’m immensely grateful for. Normally, a boudoir shoot with a professional can run you around $900.
To prepare for my professional photoshoot, I made a moodboard—something Mednik had suggested in our interview.
Laugh away, but the moodboard helped me figure out what I wanted my nudes to look like. It also helped me find photo inspiration, see what poses I liked, and compile lingerie I was into.
For the record, I would've happily included an image of my moodboard (it's mostly butt photos, because apparently I'm a huge fan of derrieres), but photo rights issues prevent me from doing so. So you'll just have to imagine all the sexy boudoir butt pics that inspired my shoot.
Clothed nude photos?! An oxymoron of the highest order! But all three photographers assured me clothed—or like, partially clothed—photos were standard in boudoir. Since going full birthday suit can be a little awkward, they recommended I start with a more covered-up look (say, my partner's button-down or a cozy sweater over my favorite bra) and gradually strip down to my skivvies.
Beskin even suggested I select my outfits ahead of time and lay them out in the order I plan to wear them. (She warned that corsets and other tight garments can leave marks on the skin, so I should wear those last. I’m not sophisticated enough to own a corset, but, you know, noted.)
My gurus informed me that many clients buy new lingerie before a shoot, but I don’t have the budget for that, so I stuck with what I already owned. I brought a couple bras, three pairs of underwear, a bodysuit, and a button-down with me to the shoot, and Ribinik helped me assemble looks from there.
And I got some pretty dramatic hair and makeup done for the occasion.
Standard boudoir shoots involve about an hour of Victoria’s Secret -inspired hair and makeup. This gives clients a second to get in the zone before, you know, taking their clothes off. And the photographers suggested I incorporate something similar— hair and makeup , sexy music, a glass (or two) of wine —into my own nude selfie shoots. I don't have much of a problem being naked around people (just ask my poor, poor roommates), but even I thought this period of mental preparation sounded like a good idea.
On set, Ribinik opted for a Lana Del Rey -based soundtrack, and her makeup artist took her time making me look picture-perfect. I ended up looking like a straight-up doll—a look I appreciated for the professional shoot but would never have the patience (or skill) to recreate on my own.
Then I did the whole nude (and semi-nude) modeling thing. And honestly, it was easier than I expected.
While Ribinik's makeup artist worked her magic, Ribinik walked me through the fundamentals of boudoir scenery—which is basically just that you want to pose in a clean, well-lit, ideally luxurious-looking room. (The swanky Manhattan hotel room we were shooting in seemed to fit the bill.)
Though it was raining out, she explained she'd be keeping the lights off. Apparently, natural light—even if it's dim—is better than artificial light, because it can lend a soft, sensual vibe to your photos. Ribinik recommended posing in a window-filled room, like the one we were in, whenever possible.
Before I knew it, my two hours of get-to-know-you talk were up, and it was time to get naked. Thankfully, Ribinik knew what she wanted from each shot, and she confidently directed me from pose to pose—telling me where to put my arms, how to tilt my head, and when to really push my butt out.
I'd usually take my nudes on my bed or in my bathroom, but Ribinik made use of everything from the couch to the wall. I quickly realized how easy it can be to get creative with posing and scenery, and I tried to make mental notes of everything I was experiencing.
Before long, the moment of truth arrived: Would this effort I exerted to educate myself on how to take hot nudes actually result in hotter nudes? I whipped out the notes app on my phone, tried my best to recall everything I’d learned from my shoot with Ribinik, and got to work.
My first move was to revisit the photos from my shoot with Ribinik and to recreate some of the poses on my own (see my attempts below, complete with fun names from yours truly). I also drew inspiration from my moodboard, though that mostly helped me get in the nude photo taking mood.
When it came to doing, well, pretty much anything else the photographers had taught me to do, I failed. Abjectly. The monster that is laziness reared its ugly head, and I paid little attention to lighting, scenery, or getting in The Zone.
I took my nudes at night, so natural light wasn't an option. (I compromised and positioned myself near some not-so-natural light sources—namely, lamps. This mostly sufficed.) I also failed to clean my room before the shoot, which is downright embarrassing. I am adult enough to understand the import of a clean living space, and I'm also adult enoug
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