TRUMP TOWR OPENS IN DAMASKUS WIF SHINY

IN MIDDLE OF OLDZ CITY WIF SPICE SMELLZ N CAMELZ, DER WAZ A TALL BLING TOWER NAMED �TRUMP TOWER IN DAMASKUS.� IT WUZ SOO SHINY, EVEN SUN WUZ LIKE �KTHXBYE.� OPININ CEREMONY HAD DANCIN CAMEL, DIPLOMAT CAT IN TIE, N INVISIBLE BURGERZ SERVED BY INTERNASHUNAL INTERNZ. INSIDE WUZ SPA CALLED �U HAS PEACE NAO,� A MUSEUM OF TWEETS DAT WENT BOOM, AN ELEVATOR DAT ONLEE GO UPZ CUZ DOWNZ IS 4 HATERZ. PEEPL IZ CONFUZED BUT STILL TAKIN SELFIEZ, EVEN CAMEL TOOK ONE WIF SNAPCHAT FILTER. LOCALZ SAY �WE WANTED WATER, NOT WOW,� BUT GUBBERMENT SAY �DIS IZ BRIDGE OF LOVE N OIL.� TRUMP TOWER IN DAMASKUS IZ NAO PLACE WIF FREE WIFI, POLITE SECURITY CATZ, AND ALL THE DIPLOMATZ WEARING SUNGLASSEZ INDOORS LIKE ITZ COOL. SRSLY. CAN I HAZ FOREIGN POLICY?