T Orgasm

T Orgasm

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Elizabeth Boskey, PhD, MPH, CHES, is a social worker, adjunct lecturer, and expert writer in the field of sexually transmitted diseases.

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Brian Levine, MD, MS, FACOG, is board-certified in obstetrics and gynecology, as well as in reproductive endocrinology and infertility.

Vaginal orgasms are real—and they're spectacular. However, not every woman has vaginal orgasms—and that's completely normal too.

An orgasm—a pleasurable release of sexual tension—is caused by different types of sexual stimulation. Everyone experiences orgasms in their own way. What stimulates an orgasm varies from person to person. It can even change from day to day or with different partners.

This article discusses vaginal orgasms. It explains the biomechanics behind vaginal orgasms and the steps you can take to achieve one.

Orgasm is usually defined as a series of rhythmic contractions of the genital muscles followed by relaxation.

In someone with a penis, orgasm is typically accompanied by ejaculation (the release of semen). In someone with female genitalia, the moment of orgasm is more subtle. It can last a few moments, linger continuously for several moments, or rise, then fade and rise again.

A female orgasm can arise from clitoral, vaginal, nipple, or other erogenous zone stimulation. Often, a combination of factors is at play. Sometimes, orgasms can even occur without any sexual stimulation.

Sexual pleasure comes in many forms, and the definition of orgasm can vary from person to person. Some women count orgasms by the number of contractions they experience. Others count orgasms by clusters of contractions.

A sexual encounter can involve anything from multiple orgasms or none. Making orgasming your goal can distract you from enjoyment and make climax difficult.

A vaginal orgasm is a type of orgasm that occurs during vaginal penetration. Vaginal orgasms can be stimulated during intercourse or using fingers or sex toys during foreplay.

Vaginal orgasms are typically felt deeper in the body than a clitoral orgasm. During a vaginal orgasm, the walls of the vaginal canal pulsate. Some women may also ejaculate (squirt) during a vaginal orgasm.

Not all women experience vaginal orgasms. While they are very real, it is a myth that they are more common (or more satisfying) than clitoral orgasms.

Some people have one type of orgasm, some the other. Some can orgasm both ways, and some can't orgasm at all.

Vaginal orgasms come from stimulation of the vaginal walls—in particular, an area known as the G-spot.

The G-spot is a difficult-to-define location. Experts aren’t sure if it is an actual anatomical area or just a highly sensitive area. Some scientists theorize the G-spot is the root of the clitoris muscle felt on the inside. 1

The exact location of the G-spot is different in every woman. It is generally found roughly two inches inside the front wall of the vagina. When stimulated, it responds differently than other vaginal tissue.

To find the G-spot, you or your partner can insert a finger a few inches into the vagina. With the palm up, make a "come here" gesture with the finger a few times.

The G-spot is not always found front and center. You may need to try stimulating areas to the right or left. It could also be higher up or lower. You can also use a sex toy that's meant to stimulate that area.

In addition to rubbing the G-spot, clitoral and/or nipple stimulation are also often needed to reach a vaginal orgasm. Some people can orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone, but it is much less common.

Research on female orgasms is lacking. One study found that only 6% of women can achieve orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone, and less than half of all women orgasm almost every time they have sex. 2

Another study found most women who orgasm during vaginal penetration also required clitoral stimulation. Less than one-third of women in that study reported achieving orgasms without any clitoral stimulation. 3

For some women, vaginal orgasms are elusive. Research shows outside factors can make achieving orgasm more difficult. This includes: 2

Other common concerns include body image, low sexual self-esteem, and too many other demands on their time and attention. Only 20% of women blamed their difficulty orgasming on their partner. Some women reported that sex—and orgasms—are not an important part of their relationship. 2

Not every person cares if they have an orgasm during vaginal sex or at all. However, the research is clear for people who want to have more orgasms during vaginal penetration.

Orgasm during penetration is more likely with clitoral stimulation. This can be achieved in a number of ways, including:

Communication is also important. Some people find intense clitoral stimulation to be uncomfortable or even painful. For them, it is not the right way to achieve more orgasms.

Anorgasmia is a medical term for the inability to achieve an orgasm . Don't lose hope if you have never had an orgasm and would like to. A small percentage of people with vaginas will never experience orgasm. A much larger group, though, doesn't have orgasms until later in life.

A combination of mental and physical factors may play a role in anorgasmia. These things can make it hard for some people to experience orgasm.

If you experience anorgasmia or other forms of sexual dysfunction , it may be helpful to talk to a professional. This could be a gynecologist , a primary care doctor , or even a sex therapist.

A doctor will be able to determine if there is a medical reason why you are having trouble achieving orgasm. A therapist may be able to offer helpful suggestions.

Masturbation can help you learn to orgasm. This may be difficult for some people. Religious, cultural, or other factors can make some people uncomfortable with self-stimulation.

Becoming more comfortable with your own body can be helpful, though. It will make it easier to understand how you respond to a partner's touch, what kinds of touch you enjoy, and what kinds you don't.

It can also be helpful to learn how to have what a sex therapy instructor would call "sexy thoughts." Sexy thoughts are thoughts associated with arousal.

For some people, these thoughts occur when watching romantic movies. For others, they may happen when reading or watching pornography. Concentrating on these thoughts is an important first step.

This is a process that can take time. When combined with safe experiences of touch, sexy thoughts may help you experience orgasm.

It is possible to have an orgasm even if you have never had one before. Becoming more comfortable with your body can be helpful. Learn how to have and enjoy "sexy thoughts."

A vaginal orgasm is not more normal than a clitoral orgasm. Many people with vaginas report that they need clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.

You can increase the number of orgasms you have by including clitoral stimulation during intercourse. You may also be able to have an orgasm if you have never had one. This can be achieved by becoming more comfortable with your body and learning to think "sexy thoughts."

If you don't learn to have an orgasm or don't want to, there's nothing wrong with that.

Many people have healthy, happy sexual lives without wanting or having orgasms. And, for some people, a healthy, happy life may be one that doesn't include sex at all .

Foldes P, Buisson O. Reviews: the clitoral complex: a dynamic sonographic study . The Journal of Sexual Medicine . 2009;6(5):1223-1231. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01231.x
Kontula O, Miettinen A. Determinants of female sexual orgasms . Socioaffect Neurosci Psychol . 2016;6:31624. doi:10.3402/snp.v6.31624
Garcia JR, Lloyd EA, Wallen K, Fisher HE. Variation in orgasm occurrence by sexual orientation in a sample of U.S. singles . J Sex Med . 2014;11(11):2645-52. doi:10.1111/jsm.12669
Kingsberg SA, Althof S, Simon JA, et al. Female sexual dysfunction-medical and psychological treatments, Committee 14 . J Sex Med . 2017;14(12):1463-1491. doi:10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.05.018
Wallen K, Lloyd EA. Female sexual arousal: genital anatomy and orgasm in intercourse . Horm Behav . 2011;59(5):780-92. doi:10.1016/j.yhbeh.2010.12.004

By Elizabeth Boskey, PhD

Elizabeth Boskey, PhD, MPH, CHES, is a social worker, adjunct lecturer, and expert writer in the field of sexually transmitted diseases.

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In Dr. Avani Tiwari’s words, “When a woman experiences an orgasm , there is a feeling of extreme well-rebeing and the vaginal muscles contract during this time and there is also an increased discharge.” However, women and orgasm do not go hand in hand. Unlike men, women do not reach a climax easily and there are many reasons why this happens. There are reasons why women can’t orgasm.
Orgasm, as experienced by a woman, can be explained using the Masters and Johnson four-phase model.
During the process of stimulation , the blood vessels within the genitals of a woman dilate. This causes the vulva to swell up, which, in turn, allows fluid to pass through the vaginal walls. This makes the vulva wet and also the vagina expands. During this phase, the heartbeats increase. Also, the dilation of the blood vessels could make her look flushed.
After a point, the blood flow to the lower portion of the vagina reaches its limit post when it becomes firm. During this time the nipples lose a little bit of their erectness.
During this phase, the genital muscles go through contractions that are rhythmic. When a woman has an orgasm she could also ejaculate a liquid from her urethra. Orgasm experienced by a woman usually lasts longer than a man’s.
This is the last phase where the body comes back to its normal state and the breathing also slows down to a normal level.
If you are wondering “is it normal for a woman not to feel climax?” then the answer is yes. This happens due to a variety of reasons which have been enumerated below.
Women often find it difficult to orgasm and are often clueless about the reason behind that. We tell you why.
Sitting around in one place for long hours is likely to affect your pelvic muscles adversely. Hence when the time for sex comes, there is so much pain that you are unable to have an orgasm. So, if you have a desk job then make sure that you are getting up and walking around after an interval of every couple of hours. Also practising exercises like squats and backbends will help you.
High heels might look good on you but too much of it could lead to deforming your psoas muscles located in the lower lumbar region. Since this has nerves that connect it with your genitalia it could mean that having an orgasm becomes tougher . This happens because the adversely affected nerves are then unable to transmit arousal messages that are needed to have an orgasm.
Dr Avani Tiwari pointed out that another reason why women find it difficult to experience an orgasm is that in India women are traditionally passive partners.
If you don’t tell your partner what turns you on then how can you ever enjoy the beauty of an orgasm? He is not a mind reader!
If you are having difficulty reaching a climax then it could be dehydration – lack of water makes the vagina dry. This makes penetration painful. So, do have adequate water throughout the day so that the gliding in becomes easier and the parts of your vagina that arouse you can be reached. Remember this too – alcohol can be dehydrating!
Believe it or not, but if you stay too silent during sex then achieving an orgasm can become tough. Rather, express your pleasure through words or moans when you like a certain kind of movement or touch.

This will heighten your pleasure and help you to climax.
It could be that you find it tough to have an orgasm due to the medicines that you take. Usually, antidepressants or those taken for blood pressure make climaxing difficult. Do you know that unemployment and stress can also decrease libido?
The hormone oxytocin is what helps a woman to have an orgasm. If that is low then it could be the reason why you find it difficult to have an orgasm. This usually happens due to stress. If you spend more time in foreplay then the oxytocin levels rise.
A full bladder makes it difficult to have an orgasm. So, before you get cosy with your partner please visit the washroom.
If you start to feel tense with the thought of whether your partner is having a good time or not or when you would climax, then you might just lose the moment. You need to be freer in your mind and enjoy the moment.
If your partner does not turn you on or he does things that you don’t enjoy then you will never look forward to having sex with him . This, quite naturally, will make having an orgasm next to impossible.
Some men want to go straight into penetrative sex.
Women, on the other hand, need more foreplay to get adequately turned on.
If this does not happen then the sex will not only be painful but also not an enjoyable one. This will make having an orgasm tough. Do you know what you can do to get into the mood for your husband?
While having sex, do you find yourself focussing more on that single strand of white hair that your partner has recently developed rather than on the act? Or do the flying curtains on the window catch your attention? If this is so, then it could be that your mind is distracted. You could try dimming the lights when you are enjoying yourself in bed with your man.
Experimenting with positions might be fun but too much of it might make you lose the moment. If both of you find a position that is satisfying then stick to it – the rhythm in that will give you a steady stimulation that will help you to orgasm.
Penetrative sex alone does not make a woman orgasm. It needs to be coupled with other things. Here is what is needed.
The clitoris is the spot that needs to be rubbed for a woman to enjoy a climax.
Even during penetrative sex, the man can use his hands to rub the clitoris or say, in the missionary position, the woman can keep her legs together while she moves the hips in a circular motion.
Dr Avani Tiwari feels that longer foreplay and women taking a more active part during intercourse would help the woman have an orgasm.
Switch off your phones, dim the light, light aroma candles, play soft music – all these will create the right kind of ambience that is needed to enjoy your time with your partner.
Instead of constantly thinking about whether you will achieve an orgasm or not, enjoy the entire process and don’t keep waiting for it to end. When you are relaxed you will be able to achieve your goal.
Don’t just focus on what your man likes. Tell him what you desire as well. When he knows he will be able to ‘work on you’ better.
A little bit of exercise before the act will go a long way in helping you to reach an orgasm. This is because exercise increases the amount of blood that flows into the intimate areas and thus will make you react to sexual arousal more intensely.
Some foods are said to cause heightened sexual arousal. So, next time you could try them. For example, oysters, nuts, or even red wine.
Masturbate as this will help you to know your body better . So next time you are having sex with your partner you will know what you really want so as to get an orgasm.
Use toys, talk dirty, massage one another, have oral sex – being a little naughty will help keep the mood light and also will cause greater arousal.
After menopause , the vaginal tissue becomes thinner and also drier. Due to this having sex often becomes painful.
Also, after reaching menopause, women experience changes in their hormonal structure. Due to this, there is often a fall in the libido level.
Disinterest in sex makes orgasm after menopause tough. Some, however, feel that sensations are stronger post menopause primarily because at that age the fear of unwanted pregnancy is no longer there.
Dr Avani Tiwari told us that various climax medications for women in the form of hormone treatment therapies exist that can help a woman have orgasms. One should, however, consult an expert doctor, and knowledge of the pros and cons before going ahead with such a treatment.
She also said that if a woman is experiencing other issues like anxiety and depression , then those should also be treated as they tend to interfere with her ability to have a climax.
Our thanks to Dr Avani Tiwari, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, Metro Hospital, Noida for her advice.
I wasn’t able to have an orgasm for the longest time with my boyfriend Chris I used to cheat on him to get sexual satisfaction but now it’s much better after reading all of your advice thank you
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