Swingers Reality Show
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Swingers Reality Show
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A&E’s “Neighbors With Benefits,” a series that debuted Sunday night, opens with a truly hilarious scene. The camera reveals a sunny, idyllic neighborhood with a couple holding hands. There’s a shot of an American flag, a church and then a bunch of crosses. Someone actually yells, “Hidey ho, neighbor!” It’s suburban bliss. Inside one of the beautiful homes, a sweet middle-aged real estate agent shows a young married couple around the rooms, pointing out the large master bedroom.
The wife turns to the agent: “Have you heard about the rumors of this neighborhood?” she giggles. “That there’s wild neighborhood parties all the time?”
The agent looks aghast. “No,” she says. “This is a great family neighborhood. We’ve got lots of kids. I haven’t heard anything about that.”
OH REALLY? Well, the real estate agent is extremely out of the loop. Because as we learn as the soft music in the background suddenly stops, this unnamed neighborhood (which you can learn with a quick Google search is outside of Cincinnati) is famous for being chock-full of swingers. Yes, those married couples that seem like just your average suburban moms and dads — until you learn that in their free time, they enjoy hosting parties where they all get drunk and swap partners for the night.
That’s the introduction, painfully scripted but at least amusingly self-aware. Hey, if you’re about to go on a rant about the state of television, it’s rough out there in reality show land, especially for A&E. “Duck Dynasty” isn’t doing so well, and “Storage Wars” has seen better days. So we don’t blame the network for airing “Neighbors With Benefits,” even though it may seem crazy to some people.
And no, we’re not talking about the actual swinging. The crazy part is that for a “controversial” show about swinging and sex, it goes an incredibly tame route. Instead of delving into scandalous topics, it chooses to focus much of its first episode on swinger etiquette . Because that’s what viewers really want to know when they tune in to this kind of show, right? Rules and regulations.
Not that A&E could show much, of course, but it doesn’t really even allude to anything. Instead, the drama is about rules. For example, did you know that in the swinger world (the technical term, viewers learn, is “in the lifestyle”) it’s inappropriate for swingers to communicate outside of a group? So even though married couple Mike and Maria can hook up with married couple Brittany and Cody, it’s considered very wrong for Brittany to send Mike flirty lingerie selfies with captions such as “Happy naughty nurse day!”
We learn most of these rules through Tony and Diana, the lead swingers of the neighborhood, who take pride in introducing people to their lifestyle. “I’m just your everyday typical suburban housewife,” Diana explains to the camera. “I go to work, pick up kids from school, do homework, cook dinner. I’m really no different than anyone else except that I happen to be a swinger on the side.”
Tony insists that even though he tries to convert as many people as possible to the lifestyle as possible, it’s not like he’s a cult leader or anything. Still, he admits, “we hunt and we recruit young, physically attractive couples.”
Anyway, Tony is the person Mike frantically calls when he starts receiving racy texts from Brittany. Tony explains that that’s not allowed in swinger-ville. Because there’s a difference between cheating and swinging. Really! Swinging is something that you agree on with your spouse; cheating is when two people who aren’t married to each other have an interaction outside the group. So Tony urges Mike to tell his wife, Maria, about the texts, and tell Brittany she needs to stop.
Tony is very strict about this. “If you don’t put in structure and rules, [swinging] is dangerous,” he says. “This is not a healthy thing to do for a relationship that isn’t ready. This is not an easy thing to do for a relationship that is .”
From there, it’s all kinds of typical reality show drama. Both couples show up to Tony and Diana’s Friday night swinger party and Maria, Mike’s wife, confronts Brittany about the texts. There are lots of tears. Cod is very hurt that his wife was secretly texting another man.
It’s actually kind of a fascinating dynamic, especially when the show digs deeper about why couples do this anyway. (For the record: boredom, fear of aging, just can’t commit.) But the majority of people who tune into a show about swingers doesn’t actually want to know about why: They want to get the more sordid stuff. And it’s just not going to happen. Sorry — aside from one swingers’ double-date makeout session, the pilot doesn’t offer much.
The rest is all a mystery, including who goes into what rooms with whom at Tony and Diana’s party. Which, incidentally, boasts both beer pong and a big box of condoms. Another swinging rule is that everyone must use protection, although some couples prefer the “soft swap,” which means they can do anything with another person except actually have sex.
While facts like those are at least somewhat informative, that’s the ultimate problems with these kind of shows, particularly ones about sex on cable TV: The network can’t show or talk about anything too scandalous, so it’s destined to be boring. It’s actually admirable that the producers want to focus on the emotional impact of swinging, but that’s not the titillating premise the show promises — and as a result, viewers are likely to tune out.
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Home Article Neighbors With Benefits react: Reality swinging is (no surprise) cringe-worthy
By Gillian Telling Updated March 22, 2015 at 12:00 PM EDT
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Neighbors With Benefits react: Reality swinging is (no surprise) cringe-worthy
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They should have just called it Awkward Encounters . Make that, incredibly awkward.
While the idea of swinging is supposed to be titillating, A&E’s new reality show, Neighbors With Benefits proves it’s kind of anything but. In fact, after watching the premiere episode, anyone considering this lifestyle may quickly realize it’s probably something best left as fantasy instead of reality.
The show takes place somewhere in suburban Ohio and follows a bunch of neighbors who live in nice middle-class homes (all of them parents to multiple children) who are into “the lifestyle,” as they like to call it. It centers on “lifestyle” ringleaders Tony and Diana, a cute couple who have instigated swinging in the hood. So how did they first get into the swing of things? As Diana explains, her husband Tony was always “a player,” and she started doing it in order to keep him happy. But then it turned out she really enjoyed it, too. (So it’s not totally unhealthy.)
We soon meet couple after couple who are either in the lifestyle (Mark and Maria, Cody and Brittany) or staunchly opposed to the lifestyle, like a different Mark, who looks like a bearded Brooklyn hipster and is into Jesus, and his cute wife Aimee who wants nothing to do with it. And then there is poor, hapless Vince and Penny, who are new to town and kinda, sorta interested, but then again, not really.
(“What the f—?” a clearly uncomfortable Vince whispers to Penny, after one couple try to sell them on the scene at a party.)
But back to the lifestyle. What’s it all about? And how are you supposed to play along? It turns out, this ain’t some Ohioan fornicating free-for-all. THERE ARE RULES!
Rule #1 : Thou shall not communicate one on one with a hottie swinger who isn’t your wife or husband. Cody, Brittany, Mark, and Maria have sort of a showdown after it turns out Brit has been sending Mark naughty texts behind everyone’s back. Everyone finds out. Cody, who is madly in love with wife Brittany (and doesn’t seem to want to really be a swinger at all), cries and wants to beat the crap out of Mark. Mark’s wife, Maria, nearly pukes on camera after finding out. Brittany cries that she hurt her husband, Cody, and is full of regret. This is going well!
Rule #2: Condoms are a must. Not that we actually see any sex or swinging, but apparently, safety first. This actually seems like a very sane rule.
Rule #3 : If you are a woman and go to a swingers party in suburban Ohio, you have to wear a tube top. No seriously—not one of the women were wearing straps or sleeves. Tube tops ALL the way. Maybe they are easier to get off once everyone retreats to the bedrooms?
Rule #4: Unless you are really, really drunk and at a party with other really drunk people, this lifestyle is mostly just awkward and uncomfortable. Sober swinging (as seen on the world’s most awful date between Eric and Lori, and Tim and Nina) is the creepiest.
Rule #5: Swinging is hard. Almost everyone on the show admits the lifestyle is not easy to get into or sustain.
“I would have a hard time seeing her with another guy. It’s kind of creepy,” says Vince of not wanting to get into it with Penny.
“This is dangerous. This is not a healthy thing to do for relationships that aren’t ready,” says horny ringleader Tony.
“It’s destructive to relationships!” says church-y, hipster Mark. “A plane in the sky on fire, it’s eventually gonna go down!”
While any married couple might understand the need for some variety and excitement in the bedroom after a while, something about Neighbors With Benefits ends up being a real turn off from “the lifestyle.”
Maybe it’s because they kept flashing back to scenes of empty swings at the playgrounds, which was a good reminder: Where are all their kids? Hopefully NOT downstairs watching A&E in the rec room.
Neighbors With Benefits airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on A&E.
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