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The internet has become the central place for discovering closed-door swinging sites. Finding a polyamory relationship at the local Starbucks is almost impossible. However, the listed websites are the best places to learn about The Lifestyle.
If you’re looking for sexual adventure, you could find it on the best swinger sites. Discover swinging parties for a full swap.
Swingers date club sites are easy to use and you can meet like-minded singles and couples for threesomes if you pay the per month membership fee.
What are the best swinger lifestyle sites? Let’s investigate.
My wife and I have stayed involved with the LA swinging scene for the past 20 years. Our hearts shared the sentiment that our days are best spent with ourselves in addition to other sexual partners. Since 1999 we have attended prominent swinging events from the Pacific Southwest to the Atlantic Northeast. We decided to bring our knowledge, experience, and expertise to the table and share some of our favorite swinging sites.
Adult Friend Finder is the leading online community for the sexually adventurous, namely those into the swinging lifestyle. Boasting more than 80 million users, AFF is the biggest site for singles and couples looking to add some spice into their sex lives. To get right to the fun stuff, click the Swingers search under the Hookup pull-down menu.
On AFF, it’s easy to register a free account and browse the site. To gain access to all the site features, you can choose from one of three Gold Membership options:
Each charge rebills automatically until you terminate your membership. To find a swinging partner or third-wheel on AFF, use the AFF blogs and connect with other active users. The more time you put in, the more you’ll get out of this community.
SDC (Seek, Discover, Connect) is a modern swingers forum with a scroll-loading interface. You’ll have to register before you can browse. Once inside, you’ll see an infinite table of member pics and a sidebar with filters and contact buttons. To unlock SDC’s features, choose one of the following plans:
Once you upgrade, you’ll be able to use the site’s messenger, chatroom and LiveStream features.
SwapFinder.com is a swinger site with a Facebook-like layout. Up and down each page you’ll see member pics and messages accompanied with videos, comments, “like” buttons and sidebar filters. To connect with other swingers, become a SwapFinder Gold member with one of the following plans:
As a Gold member, you’ll get to message other users and add them to your Hotlist. You’ll also get to see who fancies you and possibly take the fun offline.
SwingLifeStyle.com is an online community for people who live the swinger lifestyle. The site started in 2001, just as swinging witnessed a surge in popularity thanks to the internet. As of 2020, there are roughly 16 million site members, including over 250,000 in the U.S.
Once you register, you can browse profiles and participate in video chat. You’ll get more options, such as the ability to see and upload nudes, with one of the following memberships:
Most of the members on SwingLife are between 25 and 54 years old.
Ashley Madison is notorious as the site where married people go to find extramarital flings. By extension, the site is perfectly suited to married and single swingers. If you’re a single guy looking to add married women to your rotation, you’ll probably find them here. If you wish to open your marriage to a married third wheel, this would be one of the best places to look.
Rather than charge a membership fee, Ashley Madison gives members credits at the following prices:
Heterosexual women can use Ashley Madison free of charge. Everyone else must purchase credits to use the site. With five credits, you can send your first email to a woman of interest. If she responds, the conversation is free thereafter. Use of the chat room costs one credit per minute.
Your success on Ashley Madison could depend on your online game and effort. When you head to other cities, use the site’s Travelling Man feature to contact users in those areas. AshleyMadison.com is owned by Ruby Corp., all rights reserved.
Alt.com caters to the kinky side of the swingers community. The site explicitly mentions BDSM and fetish in its byline. The moment you land on their front page, you’ll see images of whips, leather, corsets and a load of other goodies.
As a niche swinger site with 415k members in the U.S., Alt.com isn’t nearly as big as some of the other hookup sites but it’s a good place to find people with a wild streak. The site uses a compatibility metric to determine how each user ranks on the naughty/nice spectrum. Memberships are priced as follows:
Each membership rate includes a value-added tax of 15%.
If you’re a sexually conservative swinger (does such a person exist?), Alt.com might not be right for you. If you like your hookups with a bit of kink, give this site a shot. Remember: the fetish world has its own set of mannerisms and if you come off as the garden-variety horny type, you might not be accepted into the fold.
Kasidie is a swinger community and an online dating site with the evocative tagline “Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later!” The site has membership forums, party listings and a directory of swinger clubs.
You’re encouraged to register the moment you enter. You can upload your bio pic and browse for free, then unlock more features with one of the Elite Certified Membership plans:
As an elite Kasidie member, you can send emails and “flirts,” upload lots of photos and use the forums, chat rooms and messenger.
The subreddit r/swingersr4r is not like any of the swinger sites covered in this article. Since its on Reddit, admission is free. All you have to do is abide by the rules and you’re in.
The r/swingersr4r feed contains lots of female nude pics and couples photos. Along the sidebar, you’ll see links to books on swinging and similar subreddit communities. The group prohibits dating posts or anything related to cuckoldry.
If you join as a single man, you can only call out to couples. This is not a place for b/g hookups, not even between swingers. Unlike all the paid swinger sites, r/swingersr4r takes a firm social-distancing stance in light of Covid.
FetLife, as the name implies, is a social network for people into the fetish lifestyle. It is not a dating or hookup site, per se, but you can meet lots of adventurous people here. Where that might go will depend on you and the individual.
With a FetLife Premium account, you can view the fetishes of other members, view photos and videos, and use the messaging feature. Premium membership plans are priced as follows:
FetLife can help you find swingers in your area, but only if you engage in the community. Not everyone is there to hookup in real life but most of the members are open-minded and kinky.
Tinder is the ultimate swingers app. Launched in 2012, it’s signature function has become so popular that the terms “swipe right” and “swipe left” are now part of everyday vocabulary. For swingers, Tinder can be a goldmine if you know how to work the app.
On Tinder, you swipe left on people you don’t like and right on people you fancy. If you really like someone, swipe up, as that will increase your odds of them seeing you. Remember, be genuine. Don’t swipe right arbitrarily. For Tinder to take you seriously as a user, you should swipe left about 75% of the time. Tinder’s Gold membership plan is priced as follows:
To find other swingers for casual sex and hookups, don’t beat around the bush with idle chit chat on Tinder. Everyone flips through the app fast. If you make a connection, try to get a Skype date or offline meetup arranged as soon as possible.
When you join a swinger site, behave the same as you would at a social function. Enter the forums, talk about interests and ask polite questions. The sex talk will soon follow. The more time you put in, the more you’ll get out of the experience.
Swingers are people who have multiple sex partners at the same time. By some estimates, swingers account for 1% of the adult population. The swinger community largely consists of couples, some who prefer the term polyamory.
Swinging involves at least three people. In some cases, you’ll have a ménage à trois. Some settings will include four or more people in an orgy.
Often times, one partner will have sex with a third wheel while the other watches. This is common when a couple seeks a bisexual woman, who has a lesbian encounter with the wife/girlfriend while her husband watches. Sometimes this involves cuckold scenarios where a hotwife gets it on with a young stud. It’s also common for men to seek sexual variety while in a relationship.
In the United States, there are no laws that regulate what consenting adults do between the sheets. It doesn’t matter whether there are two people, three or four. As long as the acts do not involve torture, injury, children or animals, it’s a private matter.
As for swingers clubs, those laws vary by state. In some states, vice laws prohibit swingers from opening clubs on the scale of Plato’s Retreat, regardless of whether it operates on a private-membership or entrance-fee model.
It depends on the couple. If two partners recognize the difference between love and lust, it can be healthy for them to explore sexual desire for its own sake with multiple third wheels.
For sexual variety. No one is attracted to only one person in their lives, even if they marry. Throughout life, you’re attracted to hundreds of different people. Swingers embrace the credo “you only live once.”
As long as you screen new people and meet them in safe places, swinging is safe. It’s best to exchange messages and video chats with people on a swinger site before you meet in person. Safe sexual practices (condoms) are also a must.
If you’re looking to spice up your sex life with sexually like-minded people, give swinger dating sites a try. You got nothing to lose. They are worth your time if you are already open to bringing other people into the relationship.
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By RACHEL SMITH and MICHAEL CAPPETTA
Tony and Diana are swingers who actively swap sexual partners and host swingers parties for their suburban neighbors.
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Married couples in this Ohio neighborhood spice it up with neighbors.
— -- Tony and Diana have been married for five years and have three kids together.
Their days spent doing craft projects with their kids or getting them ready for school makes them seem like an everyday, normal family from Cincinnati, Ohio . But Tony and Diana, who asked that their last name not be used, have a secret.
They are swingers, who actively swap sexual partners and host swingers parties for their suburban neighbors.
Watch the full story on "Nightline" tonight at 12:35 a.m. ET
Tony and Diana are such proponents of the lifestyle, they even agreed to appear on a new reality show on A &E called “Neighbors With Benefits,” which premieres on Sunday, March 22 at 10 p.m. ET.
Tony, who owns his own construction company, said he loves watching his wife have sex with another man.
“It’s an extension of myself, watching her pleased and stuff from different angles. Man, I feel awkward saying all this,” he said. “I think there definitely needs to be a healthy amount of jealousy in every relationship, especially a swinging relationship.”
The husband and wife said they are very picky when it comes to choosing partners to have sex with, and they have rules.
“If we didn’t meet you in the lifestyle and we were friends before, we will not ever cross that boundary,” Tony said. “Our friendship is way, way, way more important than any sexual fantasy could ever be.”
“We have group texting,” Diana said. “We have individual texting. I’m comfortable with Tony individual texting another girl. I guess I could look at his phone any point in time if I wanted to.”
Tony and Diana’s love story begins like many young couples. Diane said Tony was a “typical 21-year-old” when they met and had a wandering eye.
“I didn’t really want to settle down, I just wanted to have fun,” Tony said. “I just wanted to party.”
Diana said she had never even heard of “swinging” until Tony introduced her to it, but once she tried it, she said she was on board. But swinging does have it downsides.
“Jealousy is always a big issue for some people, especially first getting involved in the lifestyle,” Diana said. “It’s a hurdle that you have to get used to and kind of adapt to.”
“She’s still my wife, I love her very much, I’m very protective over her,” Tony added. “We made that decision to move forward. She didn’t do it on her own, and I didn’t do it for her. We did it together. And that’s what makes the ups and downs I think easier for us, is we are trying to do it as a unit and not trying to do it as my fantasy.”
“We’ve been open and out to our communities, for our families, for five years,” Diana said. “So it’s not much different.”
To pick up potential couples to “play” with, Tony and Diana will go to bars or clubs, or they will spend a night at home with other couples into the swinging lifestyle, while their children stay at a friend’s house or with a babysitter for the night.
“We are responsible most of the time, but that doesn’t mean that, our eyes are closed to opportunities if they arise,” Diana said.
But the swinging lifestyle is drawing criticism from near and far. Mark, whose last name is also not being used, lives next door to Tony and Diana and said “I was shocked to learn what was happening next door.”
“It’s not positive for anyone,” he said. “I’m not here to judge”
A spokesman for Citizens for Community Values, an activist group against the reality show, declined “Nightline’s” requests for an on-camera interview, saying in a statement they would be staying focused on their social media campaign to get “Neighbors With Benefits” off the air.
But Diana and Tony say they have no plans to give up the swinging lifestyle anytime soon.
“We’ve been doing it since day one,” Diana said. “So we don’t have any other way to compare it to.”
And after marriage and three kids, they say swinging has brought them closer together.
“Our relationship is good because of the communication and a lot of relationships are lacking that, and we really got the tools to do that through swinging,” Tony said. “I think the reason we can be so happy is because we can communicate through everything and be honest with each other.”
Watch the full story on "Nightline" tonight at 12:35 a.m. ET
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