Swingers First

Swingers First
My husband and I had our first (unplanned) swinging experience. What should we do now?
Lives in Los Angeles ( 2020 – present ) · 1 y ·
What does it feel like to go to a swinger party as a wife who is swapped around and creampied?
What’s the naughtiest experience you had with your wife swap?
What was your naughtiest experience at a swingers resort?
I want to try swinging. How do I approach my husband with this request?
Have you ever experienced wife swapping? If so, how did your spouse convince you to agree to that?
exhibitionist, with consenting friends · Author has 689 answers and 817.4K answer views · Jul 28 ·
What does it feel like to go to a swinger party as a wife who is swapped around and creampied?
What’s the naughtiest experience you had with your wife swap?
What was your naughtiest experience at a swingers resort?
I want to try swinging. How do I approach my husband with this request?
Have you ever experienced wife swapping? If so, how did your spouse convince you to agree to that?
My husband wants to try swing, but I don't want to. Why?
What would you do if you just found out your husband was a swinger in his previous marriage?
Have you or you and your husband ever been to a swingers party?
How did you get your wife to her first swing?
What's your best experience at swingers party?
Would you ever or have you done wife swapping (swinging)? If so, how was the experience?
What's it like to go to a swinger's club for the first time?
Why do married couples desire to engage in swinging?
My husband and I tried swinging. It was awesome, but I don't want to anymore. He wants to. What do I do?
How do I find married sex swingers?
What does it feel like to go to a swinger party as a wife who is swapped around and creampied?
What’s the naughtiest experience you had with your wife swap?
What was your naughtiest experience at a swingers resort?
I want to try swinging. How do I approach my husband with this request?
Have you ever experienced wife swapping? If so, how did your spouse convince you to agree to that?
My husband wants to try swing, but I don't want to. Why?
What would you do if you just found out your husband was a swinger in his previous marriage?
Have you or you and your husband ever been to a swingers party?
How did you get your wife to her first swing?
What's your best experience at swingers party?
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My husband and I went over to another couples house last weekend. We’ve been friends for a few years and usually try to get together at least once a month and have drinks or something similar. Anyway, they just got a hot tub, so of course we had to try it out. All four of us had some drinks and were having a good time, when my husband (jokingly) suggests we go skinny dipping to “christen” the new hot tub. Normally I don’t think any of us would have done something like this, but since the hot tub was so deep, and you can’t really see below the bubbles and jets, it just sort of happened. Everyon
My husband and I went over to another couples house last weekend. We’ve been friends for a few years and usually try to get together at least once a month and have drinks or something similar. Anyway, they just got a hot tub, so of course we had to try it out. All four of us had some drinks and were having a good time, when my husband (jokingly) suggests we go skinny dipping to “christen” the new hot tub. Normally I don’t think any of us would have done something like this, but since the hot tub was so deep, and you can’t really see below the bubbles and jets, it just sort of happened. Everyone was pretty tipsy and even though we all started with only our head and necks visible above the water, we got braver pretty quickly.
Eventually, my husband and I, and my friend and her husband are all just sitting on the edge of the hot tub just hanging out naked. Obviously both the guys are aroused and are not really making an effort to hide it. I was pretty excited and I could tell my girl friend was as well. It was just so hot to see my hubby naked and see both of them looking at us that I ended up giving my husband a blow job in front of both of them, which turns into us having sex (each with their respective partners) simultaneously in the hot tub together.
It probably would’ve ended there (and not even really counted as swinging) but in the heat of the moment, I reached over and started rubbing the other husbands balls while they screwed. So he returns the favor by grabbing my breast and it sort of progressed from there. The night ended with me blowing my hubby while the other man took me from behind. While it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve ever experienced, I don’t really know what to do next. My husband and I talked the morning after and both agreed that while it was amazing, it would be hard to organically recreate the passion and spontaneous nature of what happened. And neither of us are sure about actively seeking out another couple or trying to recreate what happened with a couple we don’t know as well. Which is why I’m coming here for advice.
Also probably worth mentioning, but my husband did open up to me later that he enjoyed watching me with other men (apparently something he’s fantasized about before), which sort of explains how enthusiastic he was about watching me have sex with my girl friends hubby. So that’s something too. HELP!
That should have happened before your experience, but as this was unplanned, i expect that you didn’t have the chance.
So, some questions that need to be asked and answered, by both of you:
Are you comfortable with what happened?
Where there any parts of it that you disliked?
What were your thoughts while it was happening? Especially if you were having sex with others in front of each other?
How will this affect your relationship with the other people involved? (It will, one way or another.)
Is this something that you’re going to want to do again? If so, are there any changes that y
That should have happened before your experience, but as this was unplanned, i expect that you didn’t have the chance.
So, some questions that need to be asked and answered, by both of you:
Are you comfortable with what happened?
Where there any parts of it that you disliked?
What were your thoughts while it was happening? Especially if you were having sex with others in front of each other?
How will this affect your relationship with the other people involved? (It will, one way or another.)
Is this something that you’re going to want to do again? If so, are there any changes that you would want to make? Birth control? Condoms?
Do you and your husband still feel safe in your relationship with each other?
Each of those questions will probably lead to others, and that’s okay. This is going to be a long conversation, and it should be. It may be several long conversations.
Hopefully, you both had lots of fun, and don’t regret any part of it. But maybe it could have been even better. Best wishes!

December 16, 2021, 5:00 AM · 5 min read
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There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to fill out her first sex party application. OK, maybe not every woman, but most women. OK, maybe not most women, but some women. OK fine. This woman. I am the woman. I’m Gabby Cicero and this was my very real response to my first sex party application question: ’ What are you looking for?’
I’m three years single. I took a break from relationships to heal and discover parts of myself that were in need of care. I could not have done that in a relationship, but I am now feeling like the wind is back in my sails and I want to explore again and have fun.
Like all epic tales, I have to provide a bit of backstory for context. The fact that I write about sex is proof that the universe has a sense of humor. I grew up around the classic Italian American style of repressed sexuality, traditional gender roles and regulations and the feeling that my body was a problem that had to be solved. Over the course of my adolescence into my adulthood, I struggled with bulimia, sexual orientation confusion (how gay is gay?) and a general sense that my sexuality was something I needed to present perfectly as to avoid any kind of confusion or confrontation with myself or anyone else.
I really just wanted my sexuality to be a simple thing rather than the beautifully varied and ever evolving phenomenon that it is. Of course, the desire to be a perfect little angel became incredibly exhausting and the undoing of that whole desire took lots of time, therapy (EMDR being the most effective) and self-respect to get to a point where I could imperfectly do whatever the hell I want with my body for the sake of joy and to stop being co-dependently attached to what everyone else might think about my life and choices. Phew! OK. Cut to: The Sex Party.
After my healing hiatus, my most perverted friend (high compliment in my book) recommended that I check out a private membership club where sex parties were held in undisclosed luxury settings. Wow I thought. What a cinematic way to rip off the band aid. With an Anthony Bourdain/Lisa Ling sensibility, I set out to better understand myself and other people who desire to attend sex parties. I was open to getting laid, but honestly even more open to finally feeling something new.
Walking in, I was asked to sign a waiver. A 25-year-old in flare jeans holding a clip board asked, “You know what this is, right?” “Yes,” I replied. I signed the paperwork, took a deep breath and walked into the huge Fort Greene loft. The vibes were Luxury Burning Man: neon lighting, heavy bass music and the mildly triggering smell of modern American hippy incense. Middle aged men wearing open button-down shirts stood around a table snacking on eating crackers while—bottomless. Dear God, I cannot see anyone I know, I thought. Then, I realized, if someone saw me…they would also have to be at the sex party, so…surfs up, yolo, etc.
I made my way into different rooms. There were tents, beds and couches with naked people lounging on them. It was like Eyes Wide Shut but with normal people bodies. Bowls of condoms were everywhere and there was no booze allowed. There was a distinct sense of safety and respect. Suddenly, I started to realize I was one of the youngest people there. I wanted to text my perverted friend and tell her this was definitely a married couples swingers party, but my phone was locked at coat check along with everyone else’s.
As I perused the rooms, I saw nude people in their 50s and 60s chatting with the polite kind of warmth that can only be described as first day of work orientation or some kind of alternative lifestyle convention at the Javits Center. I was feeling oddly inspired, awkward and unsure. A few people were making out and I weirdly felt like I was intruding. No! I reminded myself. Chill out, man. You belong. Remember: surfs up, yolo, etc.
I needed to make a friend, like in the movies, where there’s another ‘normal’ person for the main character to connect with on the first day at camp, but that seemed even more difficult than just taking my top off any laying on a random bean bag. So that’s what I did. After about three seconds, I really wanted to put said top back on. So that’s what I did. I got off the bean bag (hard to do) and kept walking through what felt like an endless maze of other people’s parents having sex. It was kind of cool, weird, surprisingly heartwarming and a full-blown example of the kind of release from perfectionism I had been working on letting go of in myself for the last three years. These people were doing what they wanted with their bodies. Imperfectly and without judgement.
Although randomly touched (metaphorically, not physically, as anticipated) I was less turned on than ever before in my life and so I gave myself permission to leave the party. While I was checking out, the 25-year-old with the clip board let me know about a few ‘younger people’ parties that I might be more interested in. I thanked him, grabbed my coat and headed home. Walking the streets of Fort Greene, I had this amazing feeling for the first time. No one could ever guess what I had just experienced. It was my own thing—albeit totally not at all what I expected, odd and kind of hilarious, it was my own sexual experience. Free from the idea of perfectionism, I felt fully sexually empowered for the very first time.
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How We Started Swinging Published by Adrienne on
Fast forward a couple of years. Blake and I had discussed my interest in women and were actively seeking a threesome without any luck. Randomly, this couple invites Blake and me to a birthday party. This sets off no alarms because Blake has known these people since elementary school.
Once we get to the party, the male from the couple discreetly tells Blake that there are swingers among the group we’re partying with. *cue ominous string instrumental* Thus begins our first real introduction to swinging. (For those curious, we did not find a third that night, although I had a little, um, 30 minute…session…with a female partygoer in the bathroom. That’s a story for another time J)
We start off with a soft swap with that couple because, as I said, we were in it for the girls and had no real interest in swapping partners. It was a weird experience at first. I never thought I’d find myself openly attracted to and having sex with another woman. It’s something I’d always fantasised about, but never thought I’d be able, to be honest about. Only through communication with my partner was I able to let that part of myself free. And I DEFINITELY didn’t think I’d be having sex in front of other people. Having sex with Blake while they watched and being able to watch them unlocked a voyeuristic side I never knew I had. Over time, I grew quite comfortable with our arrangement as it was. We’d joined a couple of swinger sites and we were getting acclimated to life as soft swap swingers. Then came K, Jody and the infamous Halloween party.
It was our first on-premise event. We were unsure of what we’d see, but excited for the new experience. We go with that same couple that introduced us to the life. We all enjoy ourselves, get drunk, and decide to invite people over after the party. Jody and K decided to join us.
That night, we decided to give full swap ago. We were drunk, the vibe was right, and they were HOT! Lol. So, we have our first full swap experience (unbeknownst to Jody and K), and it goes smoothly. Blake and I discussed the experience when we got home afterwards, and we were both extremely comfortable with everything that happened. And the rest is history. We have been proud card-carrying members of the full swap swinging community ever since,
For us, our opinions and boundaries evolved as we had more experiences and met more people. Each new frontier was accompanied by a serious discussion between the two of us as to where our comfort level lies. I’m sure everyone says this, but allow me to reiterate: communication is PARAMOUNT when you’re a swinger. No matter how big or how small the feeling, you have to share it with your partner, so you don’t end up in an uncomfortable or potentially relationship-ending situation because you didn’t speak up.
So that’s how I got into this. How was your experience different or similar? When did you know that swinging was what you wanted to do? Were you immediately down to go all the way or did you ease into it? I love hearing stories, so share!
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