Swinger Wifes
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Swinger Wifes
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A group of swingers have given a rare and honest insight into the inner workings of the taboo lifestyle, revealing the truth behind people’s common misconceptions.
The Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s “You Can’t Ask That” features different groups of Australians and asks them questions that people want to know the answer to but wouldn’t bring up in a regular situation.
Some of the past participants include former cult members, drag queens, transgender people, strippers and, in the latest episode, swingers.
The participants start off by addressing some of the myths around swinging and swingers parties.
There’s a common misconception that at these parties partners get chosen by everyone putting their car keys in a bowl. Whoever’s keys you pick out is then your partner for the night.
But according to the participants, this rarely, if ever, happens. More often than not partners are chosen on a preferential basis.
“I would much rather have sex with a couple that we have talked with over drinks for an hour than be forced into a bedroom with another person,” Sally from Melbourne said.
Megan, a single woman who is involved in the Brisbane swinger scene, said: “That would terrify me because you don’t really have a choice about who you’re going home with or who you’re hooking up with.”
Megan is known as a “unicorn” in the swinging community because of her single status and said that a lot of couples often look to incorporate another woman in their sex lives.
She said that many people believe women are forced into the swinging scene by their husbands or boyfriends and that the community is just full of “sleazy, old, fat men.”
“The thing is that can be true sometimes because all types of people like to swing,” Megan said. “(It’s) people wanting to explore their sexuality with each other in a couple situation.”
For the people being interviewed the decision to get into swinging was very much a mutual decision between both partners.
Husband and wife Andrew and Sally first got into the scene shortly after their engagement.
“I was only 18 when I met Andrew. He was pretty much one of my first sexual partners,” Sally said.
“As the wedding date slowly crept up on us, I sort of felt the pressure of, ‘I haven’t had any other sexual experiences, I haven’t played with anyone else.’”
She said it was a co-worker that first suggested that just because they were getting married didn’t mean they had to be monogamous.
The couple now regularly attend swingers events together, naming “jelly wrestling” and “the raw lust of it” as some of the most exciting aspects.
Interviewees answered a range of questions like “What are the best sex tips you have learned?” and “What is it like to lose your swinging virginity?” but one of the big ones asked was what it was like to see their partner with someone else.
Jess from Sydney said jealousy is definitely a factor, particularly in the beginning.
“I’m not going to say I don’t get jealous, especially in the early days … because, you know, I compared myself to that girl and I was like, ‘How did she do that?’” she said.
“(But) I think just being able to communicate that with Lawrence has taught me … I don’t have to be jealous. I can just appreciate and love him and love her for what they’re doing. And do it better sometimes.”
Most of the couples agreed that communication between couples was key and a lot of the time seeing their partner with someone else was part of the thrill.
All of the interviewees were very forthcoming with information and the episode didn’t really leave much to the imagination.
While some viewers praised the show as “wonderfully honest” and “very eye-opening,” others weren’t so impressed.
“While I’m cool with people enjoying whatever they like, I actually felt like I was tricked into listening to porn without my consent,” one person wrote on social media.
“Bit ironic really when they were talking up the understanding of consent within the swinging community.”
Another said, “Now I am very broad minded but that needed some serious warnings before it was on. Bit OTT. Love the concept in the right situation.”
“Bit verbally graphic for 9 pm my adult kids. Walked out! … not a prude just saying,” one person wrote.
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Filed under
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6/13/22
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Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from northern New Jersey who can’t keep their hands off each other because of their secret life — the two enjoy “soft-swapping,” or cavorting naked with other couples in hotel rooms and at sex parties without ever “going all the way.”
“We don’t do intercourse but everything else is good,” Cleo told The Post. (She and the other soft-swappers interviewed for this article asked that their names be changed to protect their anonymity.)
“Soft-swapping” — or “soft-swinging” — is unusual enough that even noted sexperts weren’t overly familiar with the topic until a TikTok went viral earlier this month and brought attention to the saucy lifestyle .
“The whole group was intimate with each other,” Mormon social-media influencer Taylor Frankie Paul revealed on a TikTok livestream , referring to her and her husband Tate’s unorthodox relationships with other couples in Utah.
“Tate has made out with several girls and other things, and I’ve made out with all of the husbands and vice versa,” she added.
While Paul said soft-swinging contributed to the destruction of her marriage to Tate, experts say the “esoteric” practice can be a safer way for couples to get kinky.
“It could be a risk-mitigation strategy in that it allows for some degree of sexual novelty without taking as much risk for STIs and/or unintended pregnancy,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller, host of the “ Sex and Psychology Podcast ,” told The Post.
That’s the case for Donna, a 40-something Queens divorcée who enjoys the sex-party scene but soft-swaps to avoid the risks of going all the way.
“Right now I freak out about STDs and wish people had STD cards, like COVID cards,” Donna told The Post. She said the practice allows her to “enjoy” others in a way that’s more “comfortable” for her.
Hank and Cleo’s soft-swapping journey started around 2018. Over cocktails with girlfriends on a Caribbean vacation, Cleo shared how much she’d enjoyed occasional group experiences in college. Now that she was married, she felt like that was no longer an option.
A friend questioned her thinking, so Cleo decided to broach the subject with Hank. He was initially not amused.
“I said, ‘You’re outta your f- -king mind,’” Hank recalled with a laugh.
But his opinion quickly changed when he got “really turned on” filling out applications to NYC sex clubs Chemistry and Hacienda. Shortly thereafter, the couple found themselves enjoying the company of naked strangers, albeit with restrictions.
“Our do-or-die rule [is]: We do everything together in the same room at the same time,” Hank said.
That “everything” includes threesomes and foursomes. And while intercourse isn’t on the menu — making out, foreplay, mutual masturbation and oral sex are.
Cleo says soft-swapping feels like a more “feminist” way to indulge her fantasies since it’s not so focused on “thinking about the man’s pleasure,” but rather becomes a way to fulfill a “need to be touched but also psychologically aroused.”
“Another benefit of soft-swapping for women is that we have so many parts that feel good when touched, and realistically one person can’t get to all of them at once,” Cleo said.
Still, it hasn’t always been easy.
After their first trip to the Brooklyn-based sex party Chemistry, Cleo and Hank returned to their hotel as the sun rose over Manhattan and immediately had a screaming match in the street.
They argued over whether either of them had fun that night, or who’d had the most fun, before decamping to their suite to enjoy another hour of great sex together.
“We were just exhausted,” Hank said. “It was a big flood of emotions but I wouldn’t say jealousy plays any part in it,” he insisted.
The couple’s soft-swapping escapades may have brought them closer, too.
“I feel more people would be happier, and happier in their marriages, if they just opened them up a little,” Cleo said.
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The Swingers Next Door: Ohio Couple Shares Lifestyle With Neighbors These suburban swingers say they actively swap sexual partners and host swingers parties for neighbors.
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