Swinger Wife First

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Swinger Wife First
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December 16, 2021, 5:00 AM · 5 min read
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There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to fill out her first sex party application. OK, maybe not every woman, but most women. OK, maybe not most women, but some women. OK fine. This woman. I am the woman. I’m Gabby Cicero and this was my very real response to my first sex party application question: ’ What are you looking for?’
I’m three years single. I took a break from relationships to heal and discover parts of myself that were in need of care. I could not have done that in a relationship, but I am now feeling like the wind is back in my sails and I want to explore again and have fun.
Like all epic tales, I have to provide a bit of backstory for context. The fact that I write about sex is proof that the universe has a sense of humor. I grew up around the classic Italian American style of repressed sexuality, traditional gender roles and regulations and the feeling that my body was a problem that had to be solved. Over the course of my adolescence into my adulthood, I struggled with bulimia, sexual orientation confusion (how gay is gay?) and a general sense that my sexuality was something I needed to present perfectly as to avoid any kind of confusion or confrontation with myself or anyone else.
I really just wanted my sexuality to be a simple thing rather than the beautifully varied and ever evolving phenomenon that it is. Of course, the desire to be a perfect little angel became incredibly exhausting and the undoing of that whole desire took lots of time, therapy (EMDR being the most effective) and self-respect to get to a point where I could imperfectly do whatever the hell I want with my body for the sake of joy and to stop being co-dependently attached to what everyone else might think about my life and choices. Phew! OK. Cut to: The Sex Party.
After my healing hiatus, my most perverted friend (high compliment in my book) recommended that I check out a private membership club where sex parties were held in undisclosed luxury settings. Wow I thought. What a cinematic way to rip off the band aid. With an Anthony Bourdain/Lisa Ling sensibility, I set out to better understand myself and other people who desire to attend sex parties. I was open to getting laid, but honestly even more open to finally feeling something new.
Walking in, I was asked to sign a waiver. A 25-year-old in flare jeans holding a clip board asked, “You know what this is, right?” “Yes,” I replied. I signed the paperwork, took a deep breath and walked into the huge Fort Greene loft. The vibes were Luxury Burning Man: neon lighting, heavy bass music and the mildly triggering smell of modern American hippy incense. Middle aged men wearing open button-down shirts stood around a table snacking on eating crackers while—bottomless. Dear God, I cannot see anyone I know, I thought. Then, I realized, if someone saw me…they would also have to be at the sex party, so…surfs up, yolo, etc.
I made my way into different rooms. There were tents, beds and couches with naked people lounging on them. It was like Eyes Wide Shut but with normal people bodies. Bowls of condoms were everywhere and there was no booze allowed. There was a distinct sense of safety and respect. Suddenly, I started to realize I was one of the youngest people there. I wanted to text my perverted friend and tell her this was definitely a married couples swingers party, but my phone was locked at coat check along with everyone else’s.
As I perused the rooms, I saw nude people in their 50s and 60s chatting with the polite kind of warmth that can only be described as first day of work orientation or some kind of alternative lifestyle convention at the Javits Center. I was feeling oddly inspired, awkward and unsure. A few people were making out and I weirdly felt like I was intruding. No! I reminded myself. Chill out, man. You belong. Remember: surfs up, yolo, etc.
I needed to make a friend, like in the movies, where there’s another ‘normal’ person for the main character to connect with on the first day at camp, but that seemed even more difficult than just taking my top off any laying on a random bean bag. So that’s what I did. After about three seconds, I really wanted to put said top back on. So that’s what I did. I got off the bean bag (hard to do) and kept walking through what felt like an endless maze of other people’s parents having sex. It was kind of cool, weird, surprisingly heartwarming and a full-blown example of the kind of release from perfectionism I had been working on letting go of in myself for the last three years. These people were doing what they wanted with their bodies. Imperfectly and without judgement.
Although randomly touched (metaphorically, not physically, as anticipated) I was less turned on than ever before in my life and so I gave myself permission to leave the party. While I was checking out, the 25-year-old with the clip board let me know about a few ‘younger people’ parties that I might be more interested in. I thanked him, grabbed my coat and headed home. Walking the streets of Fort Greene, I had this amazing feeling for the first time. No one could ever guess what I had just experienced. It was my own thing—albeit totally not at all what I expected, odd and kind of hilarious, it was my own sexual experience. Free from the idea of perfectionism, I felt fully sexually empowered for the very first time.
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My wife Karen , out of the blue says she wants to start swinging. She tends to be very driven, and usually gets what she wants. I asked her why she wants to do that. She tells me she feels it will spice up our relationship, she thought our marriage was getting stale. If I didn’t agree to swinging, then she wants an open marriage. “If you don’t say yes to swinging I have someone I want to date on Friday, “ Karen has changed a lot over the last few years, she is a big time executive at her job, and makes a boat load of money. I am not sure how I even got her to date me let alone marry me. She works out almost everyday, which gives her a killer body, she still has big t*** too, Go figure! An open marriage wouldn’t work for me, not the lady-killer. While the way she is, and the way she looks, I am sure she would be f****** every weekend. I asked, “How is this going to work?” Karen, “I have looked on swinger sites, and I will pick out who we should f*** .” I am looking at a black man with a white wife right now. Karen :“I have always wanted a black man.” “I also might want to try the wife too! Since I have been Bi-curious for awhile now.” I love her very much, not certain I am cut out this though. I also can’t afford to divorce her since my hours have been cut back at work. Should I try it for now, or let her have her open marriage?


My wife is 20 years younger than me, We are both considered attractive and jointly went down the swinger route before we began a serious relationship. We began as friends and f*** buddies as we each had just come through painful divorces. we went to clubs and from meeting people there got introduced to a home party group. We soon found that we each enjoyed the other being taken to great sexual highs. That was seventeen years ago. We are still together and now become married. We still swing, we love the exciting naughty atmosphere of parties, We both like watching the other getting a good f****** . We are same room, separate rooms which drives my imagine wild, group s** , almost any thing goes except a*** . The parties gives us a reason to keep in shape, meet people, make friends and of course a lot of s** . I feel very proud of my wife when she has been f***** . We both will enjoy several partners at a party night. when driving home from a party we are both so high on the s** my wife will often use a vibrator and I drive with an erection. We cannot wait to f*** each other once home. Some time we have stopped in a layby. We cannot wait until home. The following days we have s** every day sometimes twice a day as we talk and relive the party. For us the swinging life is beyond fantastic. The couples we have got to know have introduced us to holidays all over Europe in Villas, on boats and private holiday homes . I say to you, enjoy swinging together, if you are honest and trust each other it will open up to you a new and exhilarating life without jealousy. R and J


She went the swinging route to try to trick you with the, but you can f*** other women too line. It’s the same as open marriage lie. Hard truth, men loose big times in these relationships. Unless you’re a cuckold then hey enjoy. If you don’t want to be a pathetic looser who holds her purse while she f**** other men move out right now and go file for divorce. She absolutely is cheating and has been doing it enough that she’s scared she is going to get caught and lose everything in a divorce. Sorry buddy but this never ends well for the husband. She will lose all respect she has for you if you let her do this and you are getting a divorce sooner or later. Only thing you can do is divorce her now. In the very rare event she isn’t cheating you may be able to salvage this but most likely she already is. She isn’t going to just risk her marriage like this unless she already knows this is what she wants to do. She knows because she is already cheating. Women can get laid when ever they want, even fat ugly women can. But men can get married when ever they want, even fat ugly ones. Leave her and find someone new. Chances are you will get one even hotter than her. Men get better with age and women just get old.


Loose your job before you start divorce and go for spousal support too... This s*** works both ways and she knows it.... You could also ask her for a post-up before she starts her so called revamp of your marriage which will not work... This spice ups the marriage is how women recruit other women into swinging and open marriages it does not work... its a one way ticket to divorce one day down the line


She wants out but does not want to loose her cash in a divorce. Man up say no to all and get a PI she will cheat and you can go 30/70 split


Agree - she wants to have her cake and eat it too. You will be the dumb ass left paying all the bills, looking after the house and kids, and getting Nothing in return while she is out getting railed by Chad and Tyrone. Men are conditioned to believe the happy wife happy life lie to the point where this crap happens. Don't do it


My wife and I have been with one couple we know for many years and it is wonderful. We started soft swap fun and the progressed to full swap fun in a mater of one month we were swapped. It was good for all four of us, we all enjoyed it totally. When we found out our friends had a couple they were with before us we were asked if we would like a 6some during along weekend to try the second couple they knew. We said ok. It was a wonderful long weekend started late Friday afternoon like at 7 PM and we all met at a mountain cabin to get it all on. The new couple was black, and YOUNG like 8 years younger then my wife and I am our original friends. The evening started out with a BBQ in the mountains, and quickly progressed to all 6 of us in bed a separate room. I was with the black lady and my wife was with the black male. Our original friends were like butter flies. They would go from room to room just playing some and feeling up one of us and then enjoy some attention from me or the black lady and it got so heated on one of the room visits we all either e********* or orgasmed. Well it was like a new awakening. My wife loved the extra, and I loved the wonderful strong legs my partner used very wonderfully in bed. She was tight also. We see them in 4some now and love it we still do long weekends with our original friends also. It is a wonderful way to enjoy a marriage sharing and swapping openly. We meet others and do soft s** like self masturbation and mutual masturbation when we meet others that are beginners. Usually we use p*** on the tv to set the mood to get nude with beginners. It lets them feel the rush, and have a new beginning for there s** life also. It is all wonderful to enjoy and be open to doing, s** is so pleasurable, it is for sharing and being open with.


She has already been f****** around behind your back dude. She is just trying to cover her tracks.


My older wife met a young african guy called Nic at work she kept saying to me i think he wants to take me to bed so i said i dare you thats all she needed to hear one friday night she went for a drink after work with friends Nic turned up and i got a text from Jan my wife saying she was staying over night with her friend. Next evening as we were in bed she told me she stayed at Nics. I was shocked then she went into great detail of how he f***** her no condom she said he creampied her 4 times then stuck his c*** up her bum shes been meeting him once a week comes home full with his s**** she loves it


And what do you get out of this? Sloppy seconds? Are you banging a tight 21 yo yoga teacher? No. You are no longer the number one in her life - you're way down the ladder - she has no respect for you anymore. Your now her pet.


My 55 year old wife got creampied by young kenyan guy she loved it


I think you should encourage her to f*** more men if that is what she wants.


Ultimatums are bullshit. Send the b**** on her way.


Yes! Bet you she is already doing it with him.


You chose badly. Cut your losses and run like h*** !


Go for it ! Almost all wives want to try swapping or swinging as it is known. Additionally all wives fantasize about having s** with a black man. Trust me variety is the spice of life. Niki


Your wife Karen has already been getting f***** by other guys before she even brought up the idea of swinging to you. She just wants to alleviate her guilt by convincing you that it is your idea that she can s**** other guys. If she is a powerful executive with a hot body (and h**** in addition), chances are that the guys at work are begging to slip between her thighs, and she's probably letting them. This is already well out of the realm of your control, but perhaps you can get some good new p**** on the side to make you feel better about things.


She may have climbed the ladder on her back man get out


I disagree ! I never cheated on my husband before we swapped. Niki


Only 1% of open.swinger marriages work and that's normally due to an imbalance in emotional connection between the partners. I am a Evolutionary Phycologist working with the US family court system. I deal with swinger/open marriage wreckage all the time... It's the kids I feel sorry for.


We were swingers for many years until my wife grew tired of the lifestyle. But she said that we still have an open marriage and that I could continue to see other women, couples and men if I wanted. I have been happily married for48 years in August. Our marr
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