Swing Couple

Swing Couple

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marriage

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sex and relationships

swinging

6/13/22

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Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from northern New Jersey who can’t keep their hands off each other because of their secret life — the two enjoy “soft-swapping,” or cavorting naked with other couples in hotel rooms and at sex parties without ever “going all the way.”
“We don’t do intercourse but everything else is good,” Cleo told The Post. (She and the other soft-swappers interviewed for this article asked that their names be changed to protect their anonymity.)
“Soft-swapping” — or “soft-swinging” — is unusual enough that even noted sexperts weren’t overly familiar with the topic until a TikTok went viral earlier this month and brought attention to the saucy lifestyle .
“The whole group was intimate with each other,” Mormon social-media influencer Taylor Frankie Paul revealed on a TikTok livestream , referring to her and her husband Tate’s unorthodox relationships with other couples in Utah.
“Tate has made out with several girls and other things, and I’ve made out with all of the husbands and vice versa,” she added.
While Paul said soft-swinging contributed to the destruction of her marriage to Tate, experts say the “esoteric” practice can be a safer way for couples to get kinky.
“It could be a risk-mitigation strategy in that it allows for some degree of sexual novelty without taking as much risk for STIs and/or unintended pregnancy,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller, host of the “ Sex and Psychology Podcast ,” told The Post.
That’s the case for Donna, a 40-something Queens divorcée who enjoys the sex-party scene but soft-swaps to avoid the risks of going all the way.
“Right now I freak out about STDs and wish people had STD cards, like COVID cards,” Donna told The Post. She said the practice allows her to “enjoy” others in a way that’s more “comfortable” for her.
Hank and Cleo’s soft-swapping journey started around 2018. Over cocktails with girlfriends on a Caribbean vacation, Cleo shared how much she’d enjoyed occasional group experiences in college. Now that she was married, she felt like that was no longer an option.
A friend questioned her thinking, so Cleo decided to broach the subject with Hank. He was initially not amused.
“I said, ‘You’re outta your f- -king mind,’” Hank recalled with a laugh.
But his opinion quickly changed when he got “really turned on” filling out applications to NYC sex clubs Chemistry and Hacienda. Shortly thereafter, the couple found themselves enjoying the company of naked strangers, albeit with restrictions.
“Our do-or-die rule [is]: We do everything together in the same room at the same time,” Hank said.
That “everything” includes threesomes and foursomes. And while intercourse isn’t on the menu — making out, foreplay, mutual masturbation and oral sex are.
Cleo says soft-swapping feels like a more “feminist” way to indulge her fantasies since it’s not so focused on “thinking about the man’s pleasure,” but rather becomes a way to fulfill a “need to be touched but also psychologically aroused.”
“Another benefit of soft-swapping for women is that we have so many parts that feel good when touched, and realistically one person can’t get to all of them at once,” Cleo said.
Still, it hasn’t always been easy.
After their first trip to the Brooklyn-based sex party Chemistry, Cleo and Hank returned to their hotel as the sun rose over Manhattan and immediately had a screaming match in the street.
They argued over whether either of them had fun that night, or who’d had the most fun, before decamping to their suite to enjoy another hour of great sex together.
“We were just exhausted,” Hank said. “It was a big flood of emotions but I wouldn’t say jealousy plays any part in it,” he insisted.
The couple’s soft-swapping escapades may have brought them closer, too.
“I feel more people would be happier, and happier in their marriages, if they just opened them up a little,” Cleo said.

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There are more than enough dating sites that cater to mainstream, monogamous dating.
When it comes to something with a more explorative taste like say, swingers dating and hookups, then the search becomes really dry – which is where the best swinger dating sites come in!
Nevertheless, if you know where and what to look for, you’ll realize that finding dating sites for swingers is not that much of a hassle!
Today, we’ve spared you all that trouble and brought the best dating apps for swingers to your attention.
Check out the top 10 best swinger sites and apps where you can find all the adventure your heart is yearning for.
When it comes to swinger dating, AdultFriendFinder is the biggest and most alive place to be! Since landing in the market, AFF has always earned a reputation for being the best site for hedonists to get REAL swingin’ action.
It has a vast and wild user base with an almost balanced women-to-men ratio . That means that there’s a big chance of getting a real group match to hook up with over the weekend!
Now, AFF members like to keep things fun and casual. So, if you’re a single person/couple looking for an extended relationship, then your chances of scoring are very slim.
On the bright side, everything else goes here!
Do you want some LGBTQ+ groups? Sorted! One-night-stands? Done! And these don’t even scratch the surface.
To search through the millions of its awesome profiles, they have a splendid search tool with detailed filters that help streamline your area of scope. This means you can easily dial in on other couples or singles sharing the same interests/fetishes with you for a swingers’ hookup.
And if you don’t want to keep using the search tool, you can also create a personal list of profiles that you’ve cliqued with using the Hotlist feature .
Doing this saves you time. So the next time you sign in, it’ll just be a matter of opening your Hotlist, selecting the parties you were talking with, and picking up the conversation from there.
You can also make the chats a bit livelier, using features like Gifts to ice break conversations if you’re lost for words. The Livestream is also great for virtually meeting other couples/groups before a real meet-up.
Nonetheless, you need to indicate on your profile that you’re looking for group dating and/or hookups. Otherwise, you may hit more walls than a bull with itchy horns.
Still, AdultFriendFinder will give you the best swinger party you’ve ever seen!
SwapFinder falls under the other Friend Finder networks. Look at it as the reserved younger sibling to AdultFriendFinder but with the same fire and action!
This swinger dating site is all about the swinger lifestyle with very hot couples teeming within its corridors. Raising the stakes higher is why a majority of these couples join SwapFinder.

So, that they can swap partners with other people online!
Our first impression was its simple website design that takes after what you see on social media pages. Once you sign up, you can post pictures, videos, stories, and also comment on other people’s uploads!
This kind of set-up brings deeper connections among the members who, as a result, end up forming long-standing ties with the couples they meet on the site.
You can also use their advanced messaging that lets you switch between sending direct messages or email. And just like AFF, SwapFinder also gives you the Flirt feature that lets you send clever passes to other members and cut to the chase.
The Video Chat function is also just as sleek and very exciting for setting up pre-date meetings.
From experience, we’d recommend that you take a stroll in their Chat Rooms as that is where what’s-what happens. The chat rooms are great places for you to meet, interact, and forge relationships with other swingers.
Afraid to get spotted? No problem! SwapFinder also lets you browse anonymously .
Lastly, SwapFinder also stands out as a breeding ground for long-term swinger relationships.
Swing LifeStyle is a sage amongst the online swinging community. Its services and features are purely geared towards bringing people living the swinging lifestyle together. And not just online, but in the physical world too!
This site has its own travel department and is the best place for dates, flings, or weekend group getaways. There are a lot of different travel options available and you as a single person, couple, or group can pick based on your financial position.
Adding more flair to this is the Hot Dates feature which is some type of an events calendar that keeps you in the loop of what’s happening when and where. It’s a great way of finding a swingers’ joint or party happening around your local scene.
Swing LifeStyle service is also available as a mobile app for both Android and iOS systems. The app experience is as seamless as the website and it makes connecting with your clique easy while on the move.
Longing to indulge with people having decades of swinger experience?
This site is a great place to look for mature couples who can help you better understand the scene as you find your way around.
However, this may be a bummer if you only like connecting with the younger bunnies instead.
That said, SwingLifeStyle is one of the top sites that will help you meet and form swinging groups without many hurdles.
Reddit’s Swingers R4R is the best place to be if you’re looking for a free and open swingers’ platform.
This subreddit has thousands of active users onboard and sustains a surprisingly robust community of swingers.
Sure, there may be a couple of spammers present, but the moderators are super-strict and regularly kick them out of the forum once discovered.
The Swingers R4R on Reddit is one of those spaces where people keep it real and hold sincere conversations with other like-minded people.
You just have to be a regular contributor on the forums and you’ll have no problems finding a couple or someone interested in you.
Founded in 2000, Swingers Date Club (SDC) has proven that it’s still one of the best swinger sites to date!
With 3 million+ members on its database, you can rest assured that there is an amazing swinger couple out there waiting to meet and get down with you!
SDC has a fast sign-up process that gives you a free 7-day trial for every successful registration. This arrangement helps you use, enjoy, and experience the several perks and features offered by the site before subscribing.
Its advanced search will give you the time of your life if you’re a single/couple looking for suitable matches. It includes very precise filters like a user’s activeness on the platform, giving you a better idea of what their character or personality is.
The cherry on this pie is the Swingers’ getaway feature that lets couples, groups, and singles plan and book fun-packed vacations together!
SDC also facilitates one of the biggest swingers’ meetings, events, and parties. These physical meetings help people to interact and get comfortable around others first.
Afterward, they can decide on whether they want to keep their relationship platonic or more intimate.
What a great way to wean a newbie swinger into the club!
Seeking is the undisputed swingers’ sugar dating site in the market! It receives praise for its super attractive and professional female users who know how to throw down a party.
This site is currently accessible to 239+ countries , meaning that you can meet and interact with swingers from other countries as well!
It also gives a fantastic search that helps you pinpoint profiles sharing the same tastes as you. The best thing is that you can save your filters and use them next time to save you time.
And to keep jokers out of sight, Seeking has a thorough income and profile verification that males have to pass before getting a profile. The verification process may take longer, but it’s worth it in the end!
FetLife is a special site beaming with all kinds of kinks and fetishes.
Their community is popular for being wild and receptive to any new kink that may add some sexual adventure.
Naturally, you’ll find lots of swingers here who’re also “extra spicy” if you fancy a more unhinged experience . If you don’t, you’ll be shyer than a hen in a bulls’ pen.
And although they have an amazing free membership, you can still donate to the swinger models to gain more favor – if you know what I mean…
Ashley Madison is one of the most discreet sites in the market now. The company learned the true importance of privacy through a not-so-pleasant experience a while back.
With 34+ million registered members, you can never miss some interesting activities happening around its swinger users. That said, AshleyMadison is the safest place to look for a secret swinger affair should you want one.
You don’t have to worry about privacy as it has a Photo Editing feature that lets you blur your profile pic to conceal your identity.
Alt.com is a den where almost everything goes! This site has an exciting community that is sex-positive and willing to do just about anything with you.
Contrary to what you might imagine, swinger profiles are not as common here. This means you have to scour through the available groups to see whether you’ll find someone open to swinging.
You could also bait your hook by stating your tastes, preferences, and hidden passions on your profile and see who gets charmed.
Tinder is the most popular dating site where swinger couples and singles can go, meet, and mingle!
It has the vastest membership and gives
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