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Swap Married Couples

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Justin Jones , OZY Author

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The intimate, the harrowing, the sweet, the surprising — the human.
Because there’s lots of Hollywood outside of Hollywood.
It was the tail end of 2014 and I had recently gotten back together with my ex-girlfriend. We had been broken up for about a year at that point, and many things had changed in our lives. I had just been accepted into East Carolina University, and she had just lost custody of her three children and moved into a subsidized apartment. A true match made in heaven.
Jojotaxi – kunena – topic: anabolic bodybuilding injection (1/1) super tadarise healthrider hrccel49010 home weight system manuals, user guides and other materials. Things were going well, so we decided to give it another go. I was renting a room from some friends and getting royally screwed on the deal, and she was trying to get her life back together while living in an affordable apartment that was much closer to school than my current place. Also, the sex was always amazing.
I was approved to move in and the ball was rolling. In the weeks leading up to my move, I spent most of my free time with her at the new place and got to know some of the natives.
He repeatedly made inappropriate comments about my girlfriend while simultaneously encouraging me to check out his wife. The not-so-subtle message was clear: swapping.
One couple stood out. The wife was a pleasant middle-aged woman and the husband was an older man. They had been married for years and had two children. I was introduced by my girlfriend, as they were already well acquainted with one another. We also all had a shared affinity for strong beverages.
I noticed some serious red flags immediately. As I mentioned before, the wife was very pleasant. However, the husband was clearly batshit. Within minutes of meeting each other, he began insisting that I take shots of his cheap whiskey and became very aggressive. He repeatedly made inappropriate comments about my girlfriend while simultaneously encouraging me to check out his wife. The not-so-subtle message was clear: swapping .
I am no prude by any means, but neither me nor my girlfriend was feeling it. We had both engaged in threesome situations before and would have welcomed the wife into our semi-conjugal bed, but the thought of my girlfriend having sex with that creepy old man repulsed both of us. However, there was no way to politely convey that to Mr. Creeps, so we exchanged some pleasantries and hightailed it out of Dodge.
Time passed and Mr. Creeps started to ramp up the crazy. He obsessively contacted my girlfriend through her phone and social media and would become belligerent if she didn’t respond. He also knocked on her door multiple times a day and would not desist. I still hadn’t moved in with her, but it was clear that I needed to act immediately before this problem escalated.
I mulled it over and decided that direct confrontation would be a bad idea. I was a healthy and capable man in my mid-30s with a temper, and he was weak and mouthy. I could already see that situation resulting in a trip to prison and a trip to the morgue, respectively. I settled on a congenial but strongly worded email. He ceased harassing my girlfriend, and I considered the problem solved.
Author Justin Jones in the neighborhood.
Source Photo Illustration by Sean Culligan/Courtesy of Justin Jones
I moved in, and everything seemed rosy. The apartment was nice, and my girlfriend and I were getting along. However, issues arose when I attempted to be friendly with my neighbors.
People in the complex would refuse to acknowledge me. On multiple occasions people glared at me like one glares at a pedophile . Eventually, the few residents who talked to us came forward: Someone had started a rumor that I was a pedophile, and it spread like wildfire. My neighbors had been told that I molested my girlfriend’s children, and that was why they were placed in custody. (Disclaimer: When my girlfriend’s children were removed from her care, it was because she was financially incapable of paying utilities and was without running water. We were not together at the time.)
It was easy to pinpoint where the rumors started. I felt enraged and helpless. As angry as I was before, my current rage was worse. If the prison/morgue dynamic was a possibility before, it was an inevitability now. All I could do was damage control.
Eventually the situation subsided. I spoke with my neighbors at length, and they began to realize that I was a decent guy who was falsely accused. It also didn’t hurt that Mr. Creeps was becoming a pariah because of his behavior. Even his wife and children began using our home as a sanctuary.
One morning I stepped outside, and I saw a commotion in front of Mr. Creeps’ apartment. A sheriff’s car was in front, and there was an audience. Soon, Mr. Creeps was escorted into the car in handcuffs and driven away. Apparently, he got liquored up and put his hands on his wife and kids for the nth time. In North Carolina Section 8 housing, it is an automatic eviction if you are arrested on the property, so he never came back. His family was simply relieved. His kids told us that the beating was worth it to have him gone. In the following weeks, we saw a sense of peace within the family that didn’t exist before. They moved shortly thereafter.
But not before his wife shared a wild night with us in our semi-conjugal bed. I feel terrible for what he put his family through, but I also can’t help but feel vindicated. The same man who spread vile rumors about me to my neighbors was arrested in front of the neighborhood.
Also: sex with his wife. So, some well-deserved happiness all around. Good times. Better times.

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6/13/22

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Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from northern New Jersey who can’t keep their hands off each other because of their secret life — the two enjoy “soft-swapping,” or cavorting naked with other couples in hotel rooms and at sex parties without ever “going all the way.”
“We don’t do intercourse but everything else is good,” Cleo told The Post. (She and the other soft-swappers interviewed for this article asked that their names be changed to protect their anonymity.)
“Soft-swapping” — or “soft-swinging” — is unusual enough that even noted sexperts weren’t overly familiar with the topic until a TikTok went viral earlier this month and brought attention to the saucy lifestyle .
“The whole group was intimate with each other,” Mormon social-media influencer Taylor Frankie Paul revealed on a TikTok livestream , referring to her and her husband Tate’s unorthodox relationships with other couples in Utah.
“Tate has made out with several girls and other things, and I’ve made out with all of the husbands and vice versa,” she added.
While Paul said soft-swinging contributed to the destruction of her marriage to Tate, experts say the “esoteric” practice can be a safer way for couples to get kinky.
“It could be a risk-mitigation strategy in that it allows for some degree of sexual novelty without taking as much risk for STIs and/or unintended pregnancy,” Dr. Justin Lehmiller, host of the “ Sex and Psychology Podcast ,” told The Post.
That’s the case for Donna, a 40-something Queens divorcée who enjoys the sex-party scene but soft-swaps to avoid the risks of going all the way.
“Right now I freak out about STDs and wish people had STD cards, like COVID cards,” Donna told The Post. She said the practice allows her to “enjoy” others in a way that’s more “comfortable” for her.
Hank and Cleo’s soft-swapping journey started around 2018. Over cocktails with girlfriends on a Caribbean vacation, Cleo shared how much she’d enjoyed occasional group experiences in college. Now that she was married, she felt like that was no longer an option.
A friend questioned her thinking, so Cleo decided to broach the subject with Hank. He was initially not amused.
“I said, ‘You’re outta your f- -king mind,’” Hank recalled with a laugh.
But his opinion quickly changed when he got “really turned on” filling out applications to NYC sex clubs Chemistry and Hacienda. Shortly thereafter, the couple found themselves enjoying the company of naked strangers, albeit with restrictions.
“Our do-or-die rule [is]: We do everything together in the same room at the same time,” Hank said.
That “everything” includes threesomes and foursomes. And while intercourse isn’t on the menu — making out, foreplay, mutual masturbation and oral sex are.
Cleo says soft-swapping feels like a more “feminist” way to indulge her fantasies since it’s not so focused on “thinking about the man’s pleasure,” but rather becomes a way to fulfill a “need to be touched but also psychologically aroused.”
“Another benefit of soft-swapping for women is that we have so many parts that feel good when touched, and realistically one person can’t get to all of them at once,” Cleo said.
Still, it hasn’t always been easy.
After their first trip to the Brooklyn-based sex party Chemistry, Cleo and Hank returned to their hotel as the sun rose over Manhattan and immediately had a screaming match in the street.
They argued over whether either of them had fun that night, or who’d had the most fun, before decamping to their suite to enjoy another hour of great sex together.
“We were just exhausted,” Hank said. “It was a big flood of emotions but I wouldn’t say jealousy plays any part in it,” he insisted.
The couple’s soft-swapping escapades may have brought them closer, too.
“I feel more people would be happier, and happier in their marriages, if they just opened them up a little,” Cleo said.

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By RACHEL SMITH and MICHAEL CAPPETTA
Tony and Diana are swingers who actively swap sexual partners and host swingers parties for their suburban neighbors.
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Married couples in this Ohio neighborhood spice it up with neighbors.
— -- Tony and Diana have been married for five years and have three kids together.
Their days spent doing craft projects with their kids or getting them ready for school makes them seem like an everyday, normal family from Cincinnati, Ohio . But Tony and Diana, who asked that their last name not be used, have a secret.
They are swingers, who actively swap sexual partners and host swingers parties for their suburban neighbors.
Watch the full story on "Nightline" tonight at 12:35 a.m. ET
Tony and Diana are such proponents of the lifestyle, they even agreed to appear on a new reality show on A &E called “Neighbors With Benefits,” which premieres on Sunday, March 22 at 10 p.m. ET.
Tony, who owns his own construction company, said he loves watching his wife have sex with another man.
“It’s an extension of myself, watching her pleased and stuff from different angles. Man, I feel awkward saying all this,” he said. “I think there definitely needs to be a healthy amount of jealousy in every relationship, especially a swinging relationship.”
The husband and wife said they are very picky when it comes to choosing partners to have sex with, and they have rules.
“If we didn’t meet you in the lifestyle and we were friends before, we will not ever cross that boundary,” Tony said. “Our friendship is way, way, way more important than any sexual fantasy could ever be.”
“We have group texting,” Diana said. “We have individual texting. I’m comfortable with Tony individual texting another girl. I guess I could look at his phone any point in time if I wanted to.”
Tony and Diana’s love story begins like many young couples. Diane said Tony was a “typical 21-year-old” when they met and had a wandering eye.
“I didn’t really want to settle down, I just wanted to have fun,” Tony said. “I just wanted to party.”
Diana said she had never even heard of “swinging” until Tony introduced her to it, but once she tried it, she said she was on board. But swinging does have it downsides.
“Jealousy is always a big issue for some people, especially first getting involved in the lifestyle,” Diana said. “It’s a hurdle that you have to get used to and kind of adapt to.”
“She’s still my wife, I love her very much, I’m very protective over her,” Tony added. “We made that decision to move forward. She didn’t do it on her own, and I didn’t do it for her. We did it together. And that’s what makes the ups and downs I think easier for us, is we are trying to do it as a unit and not trying to do it as my fantasy.”
“We’ve been open and out to our communities, for our families, for five years,” Diana said. “So it’s not much different.”
To pick up potential couples to “play” with, Tony and Diana will go to bars or clubs, or they will spend a night at home with other couples into the swinging lifestyle, while their children stay at a friend’s house or with a babysitter for the night.
“We are responsible most of the time, but that doesn’t mean that, our eyes are closed to opportunities if they arise,” Diana said.
But the swinging lifestyle is drawing criticism from near and far. Mark, whose last name is also not being used, lives next door to Tony and Diana and said “I was shocked to learn what was happening next door.”
“It’s not positive for anyone,” he said. “I’m not here to judge”
A spokesman for Citizens for Community Values, an activist group against the reality show, declined “Nightline’s” requests for an on-camera interview, saying in a statement they would be staying focused on their social media campaign to get “Neighbors With Benefits” off the air.
But Diana and Tony say they have no plans to give up the swinging lifestyle anytime soon.
“We’ve been doing it since day one,” Diana said. “So we don’t have any other way to compare it to.”
And after marriage and three kids, they say swinging has brought them closer together.
“Our relationship is good because of the communication and a lot of relationships are lacking that, and we really got the tools to do that through swinging,” Tony said. “I think the reason we can be so happy is because we can communicate through everything and be honest with each other.”
Watch the full story on "Nightline" tonight at 12:35 a.m. ET
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Karen J your posts are amazing. Actually you are amazing. I admire the way you put yourself our there...revealing your private thoughts (and actions) withour reservation for us to read and learn from.

I am sure there are many people who are jealous of your life (and who would like to be either the male or female half of your friends).

So, from the president of the Karen J fan club...thank you.

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Whew...glad I posted first. Isn't Karen J awesome?

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