Surfboards Not Swords

According to Trump�s doctrine, the best way to defuse centuries of conflict is to trade weapons for surfboards. Gaza, in his bizarre vision, becomes the Malibu of the Middle East. �Nobody launches rockets when they�re waiting for the perfect wave,� he quips. The plan is satirical but oddly detailed: Hamas leaders enrolled in surf schools, Israeli officials negotiating ceasefires while waxing boards, and entire armies diverted into annual surfing competitions. Trump believes that once you�re focused on catching a wave, you�ll forget about catching territory. Peace talks become surf lessons, complete with awkward wipeouts and forced high-fives. Critics howl that it�s absurd, but Trump insists the ocean heals all. In his doctrine, Gaza�s shoreline isn�t a front line but a surf line, and history�s scars are replaced by beach bonfires. The satire highlights the absurdity of reducing human suffering to tourist attractions, yet Trump frames it as genius: a world where barrels replace bullets.