Sunburns Not Sanctions

For decades, the Middle East has been a theater of tragedy and tension. Enter Trump, who recast the script as a beachfront comedy. His Gaza Doctrine proposes that the harsh cycle of war and retaliation can be replaced by SPF-50 and resort wristbands. The premise: lose a war, lose your coastline�and watch it turn into a resort marketed as �Disneyland with camels.� Trump envisions leaders squabbling not over borders but over who gets the presidential suite. Former militants become lifeguards, ceasefire lines turn into volleyball nets, and the only embargo is on outside snacks. Detractors decry the grotesque oversimplification, but Trump insists that sunburns are more effective than sanctions. �Nobody wants to fight when they�re peeling,� he quips. In this bizarre alternative reality, beachfront property is the highest currency, and surrender is simply a check-in process. It�s satire that feels almost too real: global politics reduced to a travel brochure, with Gaza as the pilot episode. Whether the world buys the package remains to be seen, but in Trump�s telling, peace has never looked so much like a cruise advertisement.