Sucking My Sons Cock

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Sucking My Sons Cock
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I knew this day would come as I had been warned by those who had gone before me. He's going to ask someday. She's going to have questions. You need to get your story straight.
Jun 14, 2016, 04:53 PM EDT | Updated Jun 15, 2017
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I knew this day would come as I had been warned by those who had gone before me.
You need to get your story straight. You have to be *prepared* because you'll be caught with your pants down when the kids ask about the specifics of sex.
And, in a dark car, on the way home from dinner, it happened: my son and I had a whopper of a conversation.
While I've mostly recovered from the trauma, my friends are still reeling from the advice I gave him.
The evening started out innocently enough. After attending an event as a family, Hubby and I decided to take the kids out for dinner at one of our favorite watering holes (read: drink martinis as the kids consumed large quantities of fried foods and dessert). We spent that time talking to each other, visiting with friends who'd also gone to the restaurant and joking with our favorite bartender. It was a picture perfect moment: warm sweaters, noisy atmosphere, a family smiling together. I had no way of knowing that my son had questions brimming and he'd decided he was going to get some answers on the way home.
As we had taken two cars,my son opted to ride home with me. I should have seen this as a SIGN, people. Of what, I don't know, but I should have seen SOMETHING coming.
Once in the car, and about two seconds after I navigated the car away from the curb, he dropped a bomb on me: there was a sexting scandal at school and he was upset.
Let me repeat that: MY TWELVE YEAR OLD WAS UPSET ABOUT A SEXTING INCIDENT. Twelve. As in, they don't even have the word "teen" in their ages yet, bitchachos.
Pardon me as I try not to drive this people mover right into a tree.
While he was not involved (THANKYOUSWEETBABYJESUS), he was upset about the consequences, the children involved and the general implications that this kind of thing brings. He wondered what would happen if he received salacious texts, who he should tell, why kids would do such a thing. Heavy topics weighed on his mind and he wanted to talk about all of it. WITH ME. As I was driving heavy machinery. In the dark. Without Hubby as a back up.
I'm not going to lie: I was caught with my pants down and I swear, the deer we passed on the road did not look nearly as surprised as I did when I was driving.
But, I made a choice to keep driving, to take the longest way home possible because my tween was talking, openly talking to me about sex. I didn't know when, or if, this situation would ever present itself again. I don't know if it was the dark, country roads I slowly drove, the fact that we weren't facing each other or if the stars just magically aligned to make him open up, but it happened.
As we quieted from the sexting discussion, he coyly and shyly said, "I have one more question" and the tone of his voice made me realize I needed to brace myself.
"Well. You know. Some of the boys, they talk about this thing that involves blowing. And work. Blow work, is it? Something that is like a job and involves blowing. I don't know what that means. Can you explain that to me?".
I'M NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THE TEEN YEARS, YOU GUYS.
Here I was, in a car, being asked a specific question about a sex act from my twelve year old. In the split seconds that followed his question, I debated: do I tell him? Do I push it aside and tell him that's for grown ups? Do I pull over on the side of the road and call Hubby to take over? How hard will I have to junk punch Hubby when I get home? I honestly didn't know what to do and, as I gripped the steering wheel and tried to keep myself from driving into a cornfield, I made a decision.
I told him. I was honest and forthright. And, then it was HIM wearing the deer in the headlights expression.
As the reality of the answer set in, and, realizing these moments with tweens are fleeting, I took it one step further: I told him a committed relationship is a two way street and when you are intimate with someone, it's never one sided. If he's alone with a girl, it's to be enjoyable for both of them and it's never okay to let a girl please him solely.
I told him that if you get one, you give one. Plain and simple. Because no daughter in law of mine is going to stand in my kitchen and wonder why he's such a greedy asshole in the bedroom.
And, judging from the looks of horror on my friends' faces as I've recounted this story, I seem to be in the minority when it comes talking openly with kids about sex. I've been accused of condoning pre marital sex. I've been told I crossed a line by explaining the specifics of a sex act to my child. And, I've been told that I'm asking for trouble by telling him that his eventual girlfriend's needs are important, too. Mostly, my friends have cry laughed at the image of me driving down the street being asked about knob polishing. And, naturally, they all asked how soon I'd be blogging about my drive from hell....
But, for all the judgement, all the shocked outcry, I stand by what I told my son. I stand by my honesty and I hope, that in doing so, I've set the stage for him to want to come back to ask questions, to get good, solid answers from his father and I. And, in that moment, he trusted me with his thoughts and was open and honest with me. The least I could do was be honest right back.
Because if you get it, you give it, people.
Christine Burke is a blogger and freelance writer. Her personal blog is keeperofthefruitloops.com and she can be found on Facebook . Her latest book, "I Just Want To Be Perfect" is available on Amazon.

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The Big Gulp: My First Time Swallowing
I knew it was coming. I could tell from the way he was clenching his butt cheeks that he was close, and my mind was racing. Would my gag reflex kick in when the thick paste hit the back of my throat? Should I kiss him afterwards?
ORIGINAL REPORTING ON EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS IN YOUR INBOX.
Three pairs of the most incredulous eyes I've ever seen bored into me. They bored into my soul. In almost 27 years on this planet, I had not once ingested the semen of a man. I'm an oversharer and the type of person who has sexual proclivities that most people would consider perverted. And yet, I'd never thrown one down the hatch.
"I dunno," I said looking into my beer. "It's like oysters or something. The texture just freaks me out, how thick and eggy it is. I'm just a spitter."
My dinner companions burst into raucous laughter. What was so funny?
"That's fine," Noah said, wiping tears from his eyes, "but what I'm about to show you will change your life."
"This," he said, lifting the glass to his lips, "is what you look like when you're looking for some place to spit."
He sipped the water, tilted his head back at a 45-degree angle, and jutted his bottom jaw out while simultaneously screwing up his forehead in feigned disgust. It did not look good.
He swallowed the water, looked at me sternly, and said, "Now picture that on a naked girl who's running for the bathroom."
Everyone was silent for a moment before Ainslie shrieked, "That, my friends, is why I've never spit!" and we all broke into paroxysms of wild laughter.
I've never loved the idea of swallowing semen. And I would be lying if I said part of me wasn't being a bit of a contrarian brat about it. If a guy simply expects to have his semen swallowed, then I'm simply not going to fulfill that expectation. Moreover, I don't think swallowing should be a precondition of sucking cock .
That's not to say I have anything against cum. I think it's just fine. On my belly, on my butt, in my vag, cum is nudity's best accessory. Nor do I have anything against swallowing. It's fine. If you want to swallow or enjoy swallowing then I wish you many glasses of jizz to sip upon until the end of your days.
But after Noah's humiliating imitation of Spitter Girl, I quietly resolved to swallow next time I gave a blowjob. I needed to up my fellatio game, right? And if I could overcome my fear of heights by parachuting off a mountain in Switzerland, what was a tiny little gulp of jizz by comparison?
Mere days later, I found myself wedged between my boyfriend's legs doing some fairly dexterous suck-and-rotate. All I could think about was the swallow. I knew it was coming. I could tell from the way he was clenching his butt cheeks that he was close, and my mind was racing. Would my gag reflex kick in when the thick paste hit the back of my throat? Should I kiss him afterwards? Was this good for my skin or something?
"Fuck!" he yelled. Warm liquid oozed into my mouth. It was the first time I'd let him cum while my lips were still wrapped around his dick. Go time.
I rose up to my knees and flicked my head back. In one fluid motion I gulped his outcome as though it was a tequila shot. And… it was fine. It tasted like… nothing. I felt… normal. Maybe… was my skin better?
I fell onto the bed next to him in fits of giggles, picturing Noah doing his spitting demonstration back at the restaurant.
"What?" He looked at me concerned, "Why is it funny? What did I do? Is something wrong?"
It probably wasn't the best time to laugh. I rolled towards him and kissed him, still half smiling.
"Oh no, it's not you." I kissed him again to make it clear, "funny story, actually."
I haven't swallowed again. I'm not sure it's quite fair for me to ingest the stuff until the guy it's coming out of has a taste too. Or if like, if I'm in love or something. When either happens, I will happily and forever ingest his dick juice.
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By Theresa Edwards | August 1, 2014


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One of the things that I never stopped to consider about women who have sons is that they have a new level of peener to contend with: baby peen . When you’re a woman and you have a daughter you can recognize pretty much immediately what is normal down there and whether something is amiss , because you match, for the most part. Baby penis is something that you may or may not have a barometer for, depending on how many baby peens total you’ve dealt with in your lifetime.
Even so, when I started watching little boys, the baby penis thing didn’t faze me; I just adjusted and moved on. And yet, on more than one occasion a mom or dad might pull me aside and ask if their son appeared to be “on par down there” to which I could only shrug because I have no idea what average baby penis size is, unlike, say, a pediatrician would.
It turns out that the concern about baby twigs and bitty berries being too small is a real thing, and I don’t want to poke fun too much because I understand what it’s like to be concerned about every little thing.
But at the same time, I think it’s a foregone conclusion that baby penises are small. There are cases where there’s a real medical concern, but that is very rare indeed. When a doctor – a real one, not someone on the internet who totally majored in baby penis for a semester in college – tells you to worry, then you start to worry. Until then, it’s no big penis deal.
Hidden penis is a real thing, you guys, but try not to freak out, because it’s very common. According to medilexicon, it’s a “normal penis obscured by suprapubic fat.” So once the baby fat starts to disappear, everything will start to look normal.
I’d venture to say that the worst thing for a male isn’t to have a small penis. And boys can sit on toilet seats to pee until they have a little something more to grip.
Eight months is too early to start worrying overmuch about future penis size. According to WebMD (I know, I know), the magic doesn’t really start to happen until puberty. Extreme nausea is no joke so don’t play the game of “should I have just stuck it out?” You won’t win that game.
“I have a child here for the day. He’s seven months old.
His penis is very, very small, and it points in, not out. It’s just like an innie belly button. It’s buried inside his testicles.
I’m not going to ask his parents, because it’s clearly something they would have already asked a doctor about.
I’m just wondering if this is an actual medical condition, or if it’s something a child will outgrow? What causes this? Have you ever heard of something like this?”
Oh, my sweet chinchilla of a first time mom. Everything is fine. Two days is old is too young for a penis complex.
Injecting your child with hormones against your doctor’s advice is flirting with danger. Size doesn’t matter that much. Again, why not wait until puberty and see what happens down there? Until then, it’s as big of a deal as you make it.
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