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I am forty. He is sixty-six. I am a failure at just about everything I tried in life, including my relationships with men, including two divorces. He is successful and dynamic, a psychologist (retired), and a man who knows what he wants in life. I have been his live-in mistress for nearly two years and am deliriously happy and fulfilled. He is a real man with confidence, knowledge, and the dominance it takes to help me find my way in life. I am loyal, submissive and have never been this happy. I am happy in submission to him. On a typical day I am dressed only in pantyhose. I am taught to be proud of my body and offer it to him willingly in my submission. Each morning I greet him on my knees as he stands before me. I cup his genitals in my hands and treat them as a treasure with licking, kissing, sucking and fondling. He speaks of his love for me as well as the good life I have under his discipline. He talks of our life together and the importance of overcoming life's difficulties with confidence in the power of my submission. He says "To be truly free you must be truly slave and submissive." He provides for me and takes all my cares away. I feel like a transformed woman. I have this person who is totally committed to me and will care for me as I give him my best as a submissive. Our lovemaking is intense and beautiful. He insists that I o***** daily and delivers them to me expertly in several ways. I swallow his c** every day and consider it the best medicine for my happiness. When I make mistakes however he is quick to bind me and spank me with a ping pong paddle ( I sort of like it). He always follows up with great cuddling and massaging of my sore bottom. Why do I like this? Because I have confidence, trust and the knowledge that he cares enough to keep me from old stupid habits. My daily wardrobe at home is typically a silk robe, sexy slippers and pantyhose with the crotch panel cut out for instant access at his desire. I feel like a sexy princess in his presence. I must be pretty and groomed for him; no slobs allowed! All my needs and cares in life are taken care of. I feel like a queen even though it is obvious I am a complete submissive. Why am I sharing this? Because I had a crappy life that turned into a great life. Because I never felt love or security like this before. Because he cared enough to make me better than I ever thought I could be. Thanks for reading my happy story. He has warned me there will responses that mock me or criticize me. I don't care. I found happiness and am committed to continuing it. I have never been treated with more love, compassion, and sensuality until I submitted to him.


Thanks for sharing. It sounds wonderful to totally submit to a Man like that and to serve Him and worship Him. I think that is what women should do. Their place is on their knees, worshipping and serving the holy parts of their Master, to obey without questioning, to be subservient and please their Master in all possible ways. To be offered to take your Man's S**** every day is truly a blessing and a holy gift. Love.


Thanks for writing this. I have often thought that to be truly free you must be truly slave. I know that sounds weird but I also know many people who have love, loyalty, care, nurturing and happiness in these types of relationships. Power struggles make a relationship feeble and poor. The type of understanding you and your man have is quite empowering. Bless you!


This is simply beautiful. We all have our likes and dislikes on the basis of very arbitrary "cultural standards". Yet those who choose to take care of themselves and find happiness outside those narrow definitions are assumed to be dysfunctional or victimized? Thank you for grasping your own life and positioning yourself where you want to be. It is no one else's job to judge your happiness. So-called "circumstances" can often be solid decisions based on knowledge of one's self.


Beautiful and kind. I wish I had your honesty and the courage to be happy that you have found and embraced. Life is short and you chose a reality that works and makes both of you happy.


You seem to have a good sense of what empowerment really is. All of our lives have levels of authority, levels of submission, power struggles, needs, wants, desires, and definitions of what happiness really means. You have simplified the question and I salute your wisdom.


Thank you for this. You encouraged my whole day so much I came back and read it again. True submission is a powerful form of happiness if we do it right (which you have done). I applaud you.


I love that you know the beauty, class and sensuality of pantyhose. It separates you from the crowd of boring bare legs and gives you an advantage. Thanks for sharing your happiness and femininity with us. You are a powerful woman, even though you are submissive and you have given me a lot to think about in my own life.


What I really get from your story is the reality that true happiness, peace and a powerful sense of self come comes from submission. You experienced unhappiness and were able to fix it with the relationship you now experience. You didn't repeat your mistakes, and now you know happiness, trust, and pride as a submissive. I am inspired by the truths you have expressed.


Love, trust, and happiness should never be a competition. What you have basically done is submit to happiness. Good for you. This was an inspiration to me!


In this troubled world I look for simple validation, trust, happiness without judgement, and love without judgement. You have given me a lot of empowerment today. I thank you.


OMG! I want to be you. I am so impressed by this confession because it sparks inner feelings and desires I have had for many years. Life can be so hard and things can be so overwhelming and misunderstood. I would feel so confident and secure with a relationship like yours.


I wish I was that lucky. You are getting what you need and you are empowered, not degraded by your sexuality. Don't listen to the world and its critics. Listen to your heart and follow it. You are loved and you give love back with trust and intimacy. You are cared for, protected and empowered more than most women could ever hope for.


So beautiful. So True. Who can judge another person's happiness and the source of meaning in their lives? You are an example of finding your own source of fulfillment and contentment. You go girl! Congrats on a good life!

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The Reluctant Wife
by Heather Lovins






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Charlotte was a woman in her prime. Her hair was still blonde; she even had her figure for thirty. She had a bachelor's degree in Advertising. Unfortunately, she gave up all that she had worked to gain for marriage, to Alex Cahill. He had been charming and outgoing for a rancher. He was six feet tall with broad shoulders, and the prettiest eyes in the state of Texas. She gave up her life, her family and friends in San Antonio to move to the outside of Houston. She did it for love. Now she was giving up her marriage to Alex for her life.
She had spent the last five years being there for him. She did everything for him; gave to him all she had. Why couldn't he do what he promised when they married? He promised to put her above all else.
"Charlotte, where are you going?" Alex came in to find her packing. He truly looked shocked.
"I am getting out. You are never home. I rarely see you any more," Charlotte said with tears in her eyes.
"It's been a busy season. You know that. I need you here with me."
"You never include me in your life, Alex. I am here at home waiting till all hours of the day, waiting to catch a small glimpse of my husband. That isn't right."
"Can't we just talk about this?" Alex didn't want to see her go.
"We have exhausted ourselves and got no where. I am tired of talking. I want a divorce."
"Back home, to San Antonio. I love you but I can't stay here another night, not like this." Charlotte Packed what she could in two suitcases, picked them up and walked out the door. Alex stood back and watched her get into her car and drive away into the night.
July was always the hottest time of the year in Texas. The sun was rising quite early and it was setting too late. Charlotte Monroe had lived in Texas for all of her thirty years. She was used to it. It was six o'clock in the evening as Charlotte walked out to her mail box with the sun still beating down on her. She took her stack of mail from her box when she came across a brown envelope addressed to her from her lawyer. She looked inside to find the unsigned divorce papers from her soon to be ex-husband, Alex Cahill. In the five years they had been married, she never asked anything from him, except maybe his love and attention. Alex had spent so much time in the fields, doing a two man job, that he forgot he had a wife at home. All she asked of him was a divorce and he couldn't even give her that.
"You rat bastard," she thought to herself. Three times she had the papers sent to Alex and three times he had returned them. She ran inside to her apartment, picked up her phone and dialed his number. No answer. Surely, he isn't still out in the fields.
"Looks like tomorrow, I am going to have to drive down to Houston." She said later when she called her best friend, Jill. Jill Baker had been Charlotte's friend for twenty years. They had almost a life time together. Jill was by her side when she had decided to leave Alex six months ago.
"Because that poor excuse husband of mine won't sign these damn papers." Charlotte was so angry. "I can't believe he keeps sending them back. I want to strangle him."
"Sounds to me like you still love him. Why again do you want a divorce?" Jill said with humor in her voice. She had thought those two belonged together. She was supportive of her friend, despite the fact that she didn't agree about the divorce.
"I wanted to come to the city to make something of myself. And I have. I am not one to be barefoot and pregnant while he is out roping his precious cows. I am very happy with my job." Charlotte said with vigor in her tone. "I am the head of my department at TY Ad Agency. I have my own life now. I gave him five years and what did I get in return? Nothing. I just couldn't stay at home and wait all day for him to return from the field. I felt trapped."
"Why didn't you try talking to him?"
"Oh I did. But he kept saying 'Next spring it'll be better, honey, and then I will have more time to spend with you.' It went on like that for 4 years and I had enough. I needed to get out."
"Well I wish you the best of luck tomorrow. Be safe."
A short time later Jill hung up and Charlotte went to go pack. She was not looking forward to this. Not only was it a long drive from San Antonio to Houston, but she was not looking forward to seeing Alex.
She left at 8 a.m. the following morning and got to the Diamond Stud Ranch around lunch time. Alex was just coming in from the corner pasture. The Diamond Stud was his baby. It was a spread of land just outside of Houston. Alex had done well for himself. It was a small spread but profitable.
He looked up and saw the dust from her car as she was pulling in the drive. "Shit," he said into the open air. He dusted his hat off and got ready to do battle with Charlotte. He knew why she had come. He expected it. What he didn't expect to see was the anger in her eyes when she got out of her Mercedes and approached him.
"Hello, Charlotte," Alex said with sunshine in his voice. "Nice to see you doing well. So, what do I owe this pleasure?"
"You know exactly why I am here." Charlotte reached into her shoulder bag to bring out the envelope. "I brought the papers out to you to watch you sign them. You'd have no excuse but to sign them."
"What makes you think I really want this divorce? I am not the one who left. I loved you six months ago when you walked that door and I love you now."
Charlotte ran her fingers through her hair trying to think of what to say. "I know you love me but it isn't enough. There are not enough hours in the day for you to do what you do and love me too. I understand that. I wanted something more. Can't you just be happy for me that I found what I was looking for?"
"How can I be happy for you when you are supposed to be here with me? We had something once. Why can't we try again?" He asked in desperation. He knew once he signed those papers, she would be out of his life forever and he didn't want that.
"It would be the same as before. You have no time for me." He had that irresistible look in those big blue eyes. He still had that power over her, to change her mind at his will. If she didn't turn and run now, she might not have the courage to do it later.
Alex could see Charlotte was getting anxious. She was ready to bolt like a cornered raccoon. He had to take his time and reel her in slowly. For starters, maybe he could convince her to stay a while. He missed her.
"Can't you even consider giving us another chance, Charlotte?"
"No, I can't. I have given you five years with nothing to gain. I can't do that again." With that reply, Charlotte turned on her heels and left.
Alex was at a loss of words. It was going to take a miracle to get her back. She was the best thing he ever had and he blew it. What was he going to do?
It was almost eight o'clock when Charlotte returned home. When she left the Diamond Stud, She was so shook up she just drove around for awhile. Deep down inside she still loved him. That was a fact. But love was just not enough. She needed more; deserved more. Even he had to admit that. Their marriage was in shambles when they were together. When she returned home, she was too exhausted to eat or even undress. She went straight to bed and cried. She cried over the fact that he wasn't going to give her what she wanted without a fight, and she cried because she didn't truly want to leave him. There was just no other way.
The next day, Charlotte went to work feeling refreshed and ready to start her day. It was going to be a very busy day. She had a full schedule and she was ready to get started. Right before her two o'clock meeting she came back to her office to find a dozen white carnations, her favorite, sitting there on her desk.
"Who could these be from?" She thought with peaking interest. She looked through the flowers, smelling each one looking for the card. She took the card from the envelope and read it out loud.
"I love you with all my heart. Now and forever Alex." Charlotte didn't know what to think. Alex had never given her flowers before. He never gave her much of anything. When she thought about it he didn't give her nothing. He supported her the best way he knew how. He put a roof over her head. Right then she remembered what made her fall in love with him in the first place; his strength and god help her, those baby blue eyes.
That night when she arrived home, she walked in the door just in time to grab the phone. "Hello?" She answered in short of breath.
"Charlotte, are you ok?" It was Jill. "You sound like you've been working out. Is there a man around?" She asked with laughter.
"No, I just walked in the door. You will not believe what I got today. Alex sent me flowers. Can you believe the nerve of that man?"
"What did I tell you? He still loves you. Why won't you give him a chance?"
"Because things won't change. Listen can I call you back tomorrow? I am really tired."
"Yeah sure. See you later." With that Jill hung up.
Just as Charlotte put down the receiver, the doorbell rang. It was Alex. He was standing in the doorway with his Stetson Hat in hand. He looked almost dangerous. He was standing there in his tight jeans, white muscle bound t-shirt, and work boots. He was quite breath taking.
"You get my flowers," he asked. "I remembered you liked carnations."
"Why did you send them? It doesn't change anything for us. I still want a divorce."
He was no longer in the doorway. He was moving closer and closer to her till she could no longer breathe and they were inches apart. He had her backed into a corner. She could feel his breath on her skin and the scent of him was overwhelming.
"Why are you here?" She wanted and needed to know.
"I sent them because I thought you deserved them. I am here because I want you and you want me too. I know it."
He quickly took her mouth with his. He was rough at first and then he softened up his touch. She tried to resist, but his scent and strength were to over powering. She couldn't resist him. She never could. He quickly picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. She started to resist ag
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