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This is a list of common submissive wife rules. The first four are based on the 4D’s and I recommend that you all follow these four rules.
Rules 5 -10 rules should be followed where applicable
1: Respect – show respect at all times
2: Honesty – always be truthful never tell lies
3: Obey – Obey your Husband/HoH without question
4: Do not put yourself in danger – speeding, not taking medication, etc
5: Be available & willing when you husband/HoH has physical needs
6: Complete household tasks, keep the home clean & tidy
7: Make sure all meals are ready on time
8: Take care of yourself, so you remain healthy
9: Follow the dress code if you have one to follow
10: Stick to the family budget
This is not a comprehensive list of rules to follow, but I believe it is a good starting place for most couples to start with. A relationship must have love, respect, and honesty to grow following some simple rules will help define your relationship. You will be more relaxed you will both know your place in the relationship, living within the boundaries set by your rules will add stability to your relationship, you will spend less time arguing and more time enjoying your partner’s company.
Read the rules and adapt them to suit your relationship. If you think I have missed an important rule, then let me know.
It does not matter what stage your marriage is; these rules apply to newly weds or couple who have been married for 25 years or more, it is never too late to make some changes to improve your marriage.
If you would like help living this lifestyle, I am available for one on one counseling and mentoring sessions. I have been happily married for over 20 years, and my experience does not come from a text book but experience living the lifestyle.
"Because I am timid in asking for help and worried what others will think that I am so happy I could message you and get your tips to help me become a better submissive wife were very helpful and I will not hesitate to ask for more help. I am so thankful for you and this site" this was from a wife I have been helping


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My wife came to me and said that she could not continue to work at the office and I asked why and she said that at the office she was in charge. She said that it was hard to instruct them in what to do when she was wearing short dresses and that also when she gets home she has to totally change her mind to not questioning or organising or leading but to be quiet and submissive. I said that we will write a letter of resignation so we did. This morning she took the letter into work. Then she called me and said that they have asked if she could continue to work there but just not in the managers position. I said yes that sounded like a good idea. So now they are swapping her and one of her underlings has been promoted to the managers position. The new manager is much younger, female and very self confident.


From the op: from the day we were married I'd insisted on obedience and submission. I imposed some rules. One was skirts and dresses and looking feminine. Being quiet. Responding in conversation rather than initiating. Serving. Looking to look after others. We would practice being submissive at home. When out together I would insist on Mini skirts. Then I started requiring them even when she was on her own.


After getting a handsome job I was the happiest woman in the world. But when my Boss started to flirt at first I objected. But due to compulsions and pressure I had to budge in and we had s** . He was too caring and financially supportive. After one month of daily f*** and suck, the other day he brought in one of his close buddy and introduced a threesome for the first time in my life. It was a wonderful experience, two big c**** of different attitude. They tried all type of positions which made me more h**** . Now I enjoy the threesome s** .

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This article has been updated and moved to my new site dedicated exclusively to the topic of sexuality from a Biblical perspective. You can find the updated version here .
Why God Wants You to Seduce Your Husband April 16, 2017 In "Biblical Femininity"
And yes, I do actually have a heart for women in pain, but the majority that I see are so caught up in their own selfishness, that they have an almost “false” pain that they are bringing on themselves. It’s unnecessary pain that they have actually been causing in some way. There are very few women that are actually in abusive marriages, and the ones in “bad” marriages often just don’t know how to relate to their husband in a respectful way that would get him to alleviate some of their emotional pain. It’s really complicated, but in our society, unfortunately, a lot of the problems now-a-days are caused by the wife.
So that means that A LOT more men are suffering for real, at the hands of their wives. And yet the wives often believe that they aren’t the problem. So hopefully you can see that this does tip the balance in the direction of more men being in real pain and being sinned against than women currently. A good book to read that may open your eyes to this mass problem with women and selfishness (which causes so much pain for men) would be “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” by Dr. Laura. It is just insane the entitlement and self-centeredness that is seen by women today. And yes, this does mean that more men are hurt. I definitely do care about women who are in pain, but my focus is often to get them to do something about helping their marriage. It’s not my place to write a blog on direction for what men should do – so maybe that’s why you see me this way, but it’s not my place to confront husbands on their sins.
I do have to ask this. What would you tell a man who was angry that his wife was denying him sex because she was in chronic pain and dying of cancer? I do think that you made the right move with the wife. It wasn’t her husband’s fault. He likely did regret that he couldn’t have sex with her anymore, and her lack of sacrificial love probably made him feel even worse about it, which wasn’t what he needed as he was dying. But would you see a man in a similar situation who complained about sexual denial as selfish?
Yes, I would. But I’ve seen similar cases like that, where the husband is the caregiver, and they don’t seem to mind the sacrificial love part. They may miss it, but they don’t go around complaining and looking for pity-parties, they’re usually busy care-taking and just getting through it! I know this sounds sexist, but men really do seem to be more sacrificial, they put up with way more crap from their wives for longer amounts of time that a wife would put up with the same treatment if it was turned around on her, and they will stay in a sexless marriage much longer than a typical wife will (practically dying in it for lack of sex, they’ll still stay with her).
Dragonfly, it seems like anytime a woman tries to show a man any kind of sin is something that you disagree with. And that’s fine, but that is something that we will have to disagree on. I greatly appreciate your desire to respect your husband and I know that my husband sees that same desire in me (and actually approves the comments I make here before I post them and has told me to change wording around occasionally).
I am not mocking the pain that Jeff, Jonadab, and tons of other men face either as a result of feminism or entirely different. As a nurse, and honestly just as a woman, I don’t like to see people suffering and if I can do something about it, I try. But at the point where these men are, albeit completely unintentionally, being a stumbling block to women that I care about (in a way that I wouldn’t expect you to care for them about, or even perhaps totally understand), it becomes much harder to ignore. Jeff can insult me all he wants and I don’t really give a crap. At the point where my sister reads what he says and says “see how Christian men, the supposed model of Christ, feel and treat women”, it has become a serious problem. Granted I have a much more personal interest in my sister becoming saved than you do, but i hope that you can at least understand why I care about her so much.
I do not claim to know the extent to which marital issues are caused by women rather than men, but I can definitely agree that from what I have personally witnessed (including sexual problems in my own marriage) that the majority are caused by the wives. Sometimes I wonder why certain men chose such low-quality women, but I know that a lot of the time it wasn’t a problem they could have seen coming.
I am sure that the problems I have faced with men in the past were somehow brought on by me and the resultant pain is therefore caused by me. Maybe if the Lord continues to tarry, that will somehow make sense to me.
The absolute greatest example of pain and redemption that I have seen is in Rwanda where I had the chance to visit a little over 2 years ago. These people have faced more hurt than anybody reading this blog is likely to ever suffer (although I do hate comparing pain as different people handle pain differently). They don’t expect people to walk on egg shells around them or give them a free pass for sin. Their story behind the Village of Reconciliation is one of the greatest testaments to the work of the Lord that I have ever seen.
I haven’t seen too many cases of caretaker spouses in my lifetime, so I can’t comment too much on who does better in those situations. I know that an old neighbor of mine has managed to balance working to support her family, taking care of her kids, and taking care of her husband in the years since he’s been badly disabled from an accident. I don’t know what their sex life is like though. I also know that my aunt’s been the main breadwinner in her marriage since her husband hurt his back thirty years ago and lost the ability to continue doing the job that he had at the time. She’s taken care of him when his pain got bad, done most of the house care and childcare, and worked as a nurse all that time. Now, in her case, he could get other careers and make more money so that she would have to work less or not at all, but he’s mainly either been unemployed or worked dead-end jobs since then. And she’s dealt with that for thirty years. Then there’ve been a couple of women who’ve commented on this blog who’ve dealt with ten, fifteen, and in one case even close to twenty years of sexual denial from their husbands, who weren’t disabled or unable to have sex. (And it’s been for most of the marriage.) It’s not as though there aren’t men who don’t deal with similar things–there are. But it’s unfair to say that women are incapable of being sacrificial or dealing with bad marital situations.
To add, I know that you’re not saying that all women are incapable of being sacrificial or coping with genuine bad treatment from husbands who are failing in one or more of their biblical duties as husbands. It’s more that I’ve seen severe failures from both husbands and wives among my family and my friends. In those cases, it’s definitely true that those men and women might not have failed so much if their spouse had been better at headship or at submission, but I think that at the end of the day, men and women are responsible for their own failures. Yes, their spouse is still at fault for being a stumbling block and should repent of that sin, but it doesn’t excuse them. If Michelle’s husband was denying her because she’d denied him before or been disrespectful before, then he’d still be wrong. I fully understand why he’d be doing that, but how often do we hear of women denying their husbands sex because their husbands genuinely don’t talk to them or have been sexually selfish to the point where they’ve made sex extremely unenjoyable for their wives or have been intensely critical of their appearance to the point where they feel self-conscious? Yes, their denial might be understandable in those circumstances, but it’s still wrong.
“Sometimes I wonder why certain men chose such low-quality women, but I know that a lot of the time it wasn’t a problem they could have seen coming.”
Most are simply not taught as boys and young men, how and what to look for. Most are taught absolutely nothing about vetting the character of a woman and seeing what she thinks about different things before marriage. Some have told me that were even encouraged to go after women that were going to be terrible wives (their moms chased away the truly good, submissive ones and wanted them to pursue certain ones that had attitude problems from the get go). They are taught from early on that all women are to be treated as princesses… which creates problems later on when they don’t know how to stand up to their wife (or girlfriend) and demand to be treated with respect when she’s verbally abusing him.
“At the point where my sister reads what he says and says “see how Christian men, the supposed model of Christ, feel and treat women”, it has become a serious problem. Granted I have a much more personal interest in my sister becoming saved than you do, but i hope that you can at least understand why I care about her so much.”
You can’t control other people’s actions, that is much too stressful (is emotionally unhealthy), and never works, especially online. If anything, I’ve only seen it drive people further away. You are still pregnant right? I don’t think it’s good to believe this is something you have to fight for and control. If anything, it’s BGR’s blog and it’s under his control how he moderates comments.
I know this may be awful to hear, but you aren’t responsible for how your sister comes to Christ either (and neither is Jeff). Only she has to make that decision on her own, and it needs to come without excuses like “hypocritical Christian men.” If she wants to use a stranger’s behavior, she doesn’t know, in an online forum, as an excuse to say “No,” to God, then there is nothing you can really do about that. It sounds like she would use anything to say “No,” to God, and that is something you have to accept, and stop blaming other people for her lack of desire to believe.
You can’t demand he act better so that your sister isn’t turned off by Christianity, that’s super controlling behavior by saying “it has become a serious problem.” And trying to explain that not all Christian men are like that will probably fall on deaf ears, she has to open her heart to God herself, irregardless of other people’s actions.
It is a shame that men, while they are still young, are not taught better. I do have to say that that kinda is more of a failing on fathers (the ones that are not pushed out of the picture by mothers or the court system). I’m sure it is possible to spin this too as something that wives are doing wrong, though.
I, nor anyone else, am in control of whether or not my sister becomes saved. I actually had this exact conversation with my husband earlier today when he wanted me to clarify something before I posted it. If she continues to reject Christ because of the actions/words of some men, that is indeed her error and should she spend eternity in Hell, she has only herself to blame for it. Doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to make things easier. Mean, we are called to be good witnesses to the watching world. Honestly, use the exact same logic you mentioned with men when it comes to marriage. If men reject marriage because of the actions of some women, that is their fault only and saying “not all women are like that” isn’t likely to help any. Or does that not work that way????
This is the only time on any blog that I have tried to confront anyone on how they come across in comments (kinda soon to imply i’m trying to run BGR’s blog for him). And it honestly isn’t just about my sister. Sure that’s what makes it personal for me, but I’m guessing she’s not the only one turned off by it. Not to mention that some people are honestly not aware of how they come across until someone points it out.
I am still pregnant. 35 weeks and counting! Baby shower this weekend and than just counting down time. 12-hr work shifts are getting much more tiring, but I’m almost there.
“I am still pregnant. 35 weeks and counting! Baby shower this weekend and than just counting down time. 12-hr work shifts are getting much more tiring, but I’m almost there.:)”
Take it easy!!! Seriously!!! My first came a month early because I was super stressed out and in a stressful job with an insane boss. You’re going to have so much fun and wonderful things coming after the baby comes, and a lot of sleep loss and if you’re
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