Submissive Servant

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Submissive Servant

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When someone becomes a submissive for the first time and finds a dominant the first words I generally hear them say is that they like being of service or they like serving. When asked what it is about service that they enjoy it tends to boil down to sex and play. There is far more to service than the play, and believe me, there are submissives that don't even play but find fulfillment in service.

Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.

Take for example a domestic submissive. What calls them to serve is completely different than a service submissive (more on this term later). Each of them gains happiness and fulfillment out of the services they provide their dominant partner, but the service they provide can be very different. Many times a domestic submissive will have minimal or no sexual interaction with their owner. I've even been propositioned by a few male domestics that all they want to do is come and clean my house. It's the pleasure of cleaning for someone that they want to enjoy.

So, what does it mean to be of service to your dominant? Does it mean you will be doing the chores around the house, caring for family or pets, perhaps paying the bills and running errands? Could it mean you are a personal assistant and keep your partner in check, organized and prepared for everything the day may throw at them? Or are you the sex object that fills every fantasy and whim without a moment's hesitation? All of these things are service. Some other things that can service items can include:

Finding your meaning in service isn't always easy. You have to start with what you want and need out of a relationship. I've written a whole series about
Wants and Needs that you can refer to if you need help figuring these things out. Once you've identified what you need, you can develop the services around it that will feed your needs. If you require structure, you could develop a Home Control Journal. If you like to be a hostess and use anticipatory service you could have a Butler's Book. Perhaps you would like to develop your sexual service skills or your personal assistant skills and learn how to properly bathe and clothe someone. The possibilities are endless.

There is a type of submissive that seeks only to serve. In this passion, there is happiness and joy to be asked to do even menial tasks. They may derive pleasure from things other than sexual connection or play. Service Submissives can become domestics, personal assistants, chauffeurs, and handmaids.

What makes this type of submissive so special is their ability to adapt to whatever service their partner requires of them with little adjustment period. Service Submissives can bring pleasure to their dominant with little effort. It is my opinion that service submissives are rare and unique people. Not everyone can be a service submissive, but if you are one, you are worth your weight in gold and then some. All other submissives most likely look up to you for your ability to serve so smoothly.

Here are some of my ideas of what a service submissive might be.

Do you have any other ideas of what a service submissive can be? Share them in the comments!

Now that you have a better understanding of what service is, how can you use your talents to create your service resume? What services do you provide your owner? What services would they like you to learn or enhance?
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Redefining Female Led Relationships

© 2016 ConquerHim All Rights Reserved
My wife Jane and I dated in college, broke up, and got back together nearly 20 years later. She was rather shy, though sexually adventurous, and was intrigued by my desire to be submissive to women. By the time we met up again, she had become a very successful executive.
Nearly a decade into our marriage, we hadn’t explored the concept of a female led relationship, though I did share my submissive fantasies with Jane. About five years ago, my brother Jerry married a beautiful younger woman, Nina, who brought FLR into our lives. We soon noticed that Jerry and Nina never fought and he immediately did anything Nina asked him to.
Jane and Nina soon became friends. They discussed FLR over wine at girls’ night out. Nina was raised in the precursor to a modern FLR home. Her father was obedient to her mother. He was even deferential to Nina and her two sisters, generally following their instructions cheerfully. Nina absorbed the idea that men were to be respected, but women were to be obeyed.
Nina’s father worked long hours as a doctor, but his office, at his wife’s insistence, was only a few blocks from home. He was always available to take care of any task Nina’s mother assigned him, or to take the girls shopping or to the movies. He was also responsible for all housework, including traditional cleaning, laundry, cooking, and grocery shopping.
Nina had grown up a bit spoiled but very independent and confident. Though nearly 20 years younger than Jerry, both knew from their first date that Nina would be the commander of their marital ship. Jerry delighted in giving Nina everything she wanted. He also took over many household duties to free his beautiful bride from boredom or drudgery.
Jerry works 60 hours a week, and makes a very good living. Nina doesn’t work and spends her days working out, shopping, and having lunch with friends. She has expensive tastes, but always looks spectacular. Jerry is aware of the attention she gets from other men and isn’t jealous. Indeed he considers the flirtation between Nina and her admirers a compliment to her beauty.
Jerry’s world revolves around serving her. Many times he’s gotten home late from a business trip and stayed up well past midnight grocery shopping, doing laundry or cleaning the house. Jerry also arranges several vacation and shopping trips each year for Nina.
Traveling to locations such as New York and London, Nina sometimes invites him along, and sometimes chooses to travel with girlfriends. So far, Nina has never invited a guy to travel with her, but it seems Jerry wouldn’t mind at all. I think that, like me, he finds cuckoldry very exciting.
My wife came away from these discussions quite impressed. She isn’t intrinsically “bossy” or dominant, but the lack of conflict was appealing. She liked the orderliness of Jerry and Nina’s life. And, to be honest, she was a little jealous of the pampering Nina gets, along with her very generous budget. This gave me an opportunity to discuss Conquer Him . Jane was relieved to learn she could be pampered and appreciated without pain, fetish play or other BDSM elements that she is uncomfortable with.
We began slowly, writing up a set of tasks that I would take over, and a few little acts of pampering that I promised to perform each day: breakfast in bed, foot massage at night, and at least an hour each evening set aside to be on call for anything she wanted. For me, it was a dream come true. And I could live my life openly, sharing with my grown sons, Jane’s daughter, and Jerry and Nina.
Very quickly, we felt the conflict in our relationship diminishing. I was happy and fulfilled in the servant role I had always dreamed about. Jane felt cared for, attractive and energetic. She enjoyed having my undivided attention and obedience. Though I would love to have domestic discipline in our relationship, Jane hasn’t yet felt it necessary. Our sex life improved. And we have begun to shift more duties to me and privileges to her.
We’ve become even closer with Jerry and Nina have become even closer to us. We’ve informally come to the point where both wives know they can expect obedience from both husbands. Just last week, I took Nina shoe shopping while Jane was at the spa and Jerry out of town on business. I handled his chores for him and felt pleasantly thrilled that I had been useful to Nina. The “goddess” concept began to sink in. I redoubled my efforts to devote myself to serving Jane and Nina. I often feel that I want to get on my knees and thank them both for the honor.
Jane hasn’t yet decided whether she will want to participate in a few things that are on my wish list: dating other men (especially younger, which a looker like Jane could easily do), and giving me physical punishment for my inadequacies. We have, however, discussed “outsourcing” discipline to a professional Domme I saw prior to our marriage. I think Jane enjoys keeping me in suspense.
It’s wonderful that Jane has been able to find her own rhythm in the relationship without any coercion from you. Yes, there have been subtle hints, but Jane has been confident enough to embrace them or dismiss them according to how she sees fit.
As for her dating other men. If she chooses to do so, she will need to be a hundred per cent confident that she can depend on your support and fidelity. It is a big decision and the two of you should discuss it at length. You may think you know all there is to know about openness and honest but, believe me, it takes on a whole extra dimension if and when her lover become a reality. Wait till you hear that first knock on the door when he arrives to take her out! Be warned: Be VERY careful what you wish for. And she will need as much time as it takes. She was thoughtful and selective about choosing you, she will need to be equally so about taking a lover, especially if you both want it to develop into a long-term relationship.
I hope it all works out for you and for Jane, it can make an already beautiful FLR even more so.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I agree with you on all fronts. I’m focused now on surrendering control to her, so whether she will take the dating path or not is something I will leave with her for now. While she very much enjoys sharing fantasies about it (and, quite frankly, I think enjoys teasing me with that), I think she’s very unlikely ever to want to pursue it. If so, I must accept her decision.
I’m more optimistic that she may grant my wish for physical discipline. While she isn’t into giving that, she does seem to be fine having my punishment doled out by a pro domme whom we both know and trust. I must remember that it’s her decision, but I’m excited and hopeful.
listen as submissive man my self keep your wife to your self do not make her or want her to have any other males servents but you
it will destory every thing so just server your wife
Sharing such as this helps me keep hope alive that my Knight is out there seeking his Queen.
It is not yourself but your wife who should decide if she wants to be served by only you or other males as well. So selfish of you.
It is not you who decides whether your wife should date other men or not or to punish you publicly or not. You can have your own wishes but you should gradually train yourself to limit your wishes just to see her satisfied. She should be the only one who decides how she gets this satisfaction.
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Panda Gossips > Love & Relationships > Rules & Definition Of A Dominant Submissive Relationship
Definition of a dominant-submissive relationship
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A dominant-submissive relationship rules and answers to know


Dominant-submissive (D/s or Dom/sub) is part of a broader category referred to as BDSM. D/s is all about power as opposed to the physical sensation involved in BDSM. If you are in a D/s relationship you either submit to your partner or dominate them psychologically.

In short, one partner dominates the other because he/she has more power in the relationship. Most people like this type of relationship because of the dynamic power involved. In today’s culture, sex and power are mixed together and that’s why most women fall for more powerful men, while men fantasize about being powerful and therefore irresistible.

First and foremost, a Dom/sub relationship is an energy dynamic between two partners. The Dominant leads, guides, and protects the submissive. The submissive is the baby girl or servant who pleases the dominant. Most D/s partners limit their dynamic to sexual activities but the truth is the relationship may be applied in interesting ways beyond sex. For instance, the dominant can create a simple rule for the submissive such as asking for permission to go out on weekends.
The dynamic may as well be a set of strict rules and complex responsibilities that make the dominant feel more in control of the body and mind of the submissive. But do not confuse the Dom/sub relationship for a master/slave setting. D/s is a lifestyle. If someone tells you they are in a Dom/sub relationship, you should know that their life, especially the sex aspect of it, entails power play. Such partners may switch their roles as they please - a man can dominate for a while and then become submissive at some point.

In most cases, the D/s relationship happens occasionally in pre-arranged scenes which don’t have to always involve sex. Those pre-arranged scenes are about power exchange. For instance, if the woman is the submissive partner, she can give her man a massage, serve him food, and take any order from him. The dominant partner can sometimes restrain the submissive one or discipline them. Different couples play different power-based roles e.g. pirate and captive; teacher and student; or a cop and a criminal. 
Some partners can maintain their power dynamic for longer periods of time such as during a holiday while others take on a long-term arrangement (one is dominant and the other is submissive throughout their lifetime). These couples live a completely normal human life; their relationships are not really different from the rest.
There are people who just love to dominate while others prefer being submissive. So, yes, D/s relationships work for such people. If both parties are in the relationship willingly, it means that there will be no conflicts as far as power is concerned.

But like any other relationships, one D/s may work differently than another D/s. The only common thing about the relationships is that there is a dominant and a submissive partner. The D/s flavor is naturally determined by the specific individual you are partnering with.

The core of a Dom/sub relationship is the fact that the dominant takes full control of everything. Note that domination involves taking and not giving so the dominant expects to be pleased in whatever way they like by the submissive. Basically, the dominant expects nothing short of obedience. The summed up roles of domination include:

1. Taking responsibilities
2. Being in full control
3. Prioritizing their desires and choices
4. Performing duties to their submissive partner
5. Demanding compliance and obedience
The submissive delights in submitting to their partners. Their joy is not all about being dominated in bed; their fundamental desire is to please their dominant. The ideal definition of a submissive partner is the one who elevates their partner’s needs above theirs. As the submissive, you may not like the idea of being punished but it doesn’t mean you will resist it. You accept another human being's control over you in a variety of ways, such as complying with your dominant’s demands in bed. Sometimes, you will not give your opinions until your dominant states theirs. Basically, these are the roles of the submissive:

1. Elevating the desires of the dominant above theirs
2. Accepting to be controlled
3. Expressing the desire to please the dominant
This is something everyone who is interested in Dom/sub relationship wants to know. First of all, there are no hard or fast rules; the partners create their own principles regarding what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. The whole D/s concept is based on a set of standards, some of which are deep-rooted in the power dynamic, and the rest are implemented as reactions to the dynamic.

If you are considering a Dom/sub relationship, you must understand first the objectives of these rules so you don’t commit ignorant blunders. Here come the D/s rules.

This is the groundwork for any trusting relationship. If you close the doors to open communication, it won’t work as expected. You must talk about the fundamentals before you delve into a D/s relationship. The key factors you must discuss include health, sexual needs, boundaries, likes/dislikes, and experiences. Your partner is not a mind-reader so you need to speak up about your expectations, contracts, and rules. Continued communication is what will keep the relationship moving.

Make time to discuss issues freely and learn how to read your partners signals or safe words. Honest dynamic and interaction go a long way. For instance, if you are the dominant type and want to push the limits of your submissive, you will require particular information to understand her boundaries. The only way you can understand their limits is through effective communication. You want to exercise power in a positive and constructive manner. So, more information will enable you to accomplish your roles better. To get the right information, you need to be honest as you interact with your partner.
If you are the dominant partner, always leave your submissive begging for more rather than making them wish you hadn’t gone an extra mile. For this matter, let it be clear as far as your fantasies are concerned so you can determine what is practical or not. Not all the BDSM films can be put into practice; you don’t need t
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