Submissive Protocol
🛑 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Submissive Protocol
Wanna hang out with other submissives and their partners? We’ve got a chat room on Discord
Join Us!
Learn more with these related books
Creating A Training Resume
Submissive Advent Calendar
Submissive Positions Handbook
The Online Submissive
A Sexy Submissive's Countdown to Christmas
Protocol. It's a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It's relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and rarely discussed as what it really is. Protocol is a defined set of rules and behaviors for special situations. That's it. You don't have to be in any certain type of relationship, or a relationship at all to have protocol in your life. The military is full of protocol, much of what you've picked up as far as how to act at church, respecting the flag, around the elderly, and so many other facets is a part of socially acceptable protocol in those situations.
You can also have a personal protocol. A personal protocol helps to organize your life and help you reach your goals. It's built with a checks and balances system so that you stay on track. I would like to encourage you to consider developing some personal protocols of your own.
You don't have to be in a relationship to have protocol. In fact, a single submissive can help prepare themselves for service to a Dominant by establishing some protocol to their life. In relationships, additional personal protocols can help enhance your enjoyment of the services you provide. It's a win - win situation.
When deciding on what you want to improve in your life you have to start with a brainstorm. Sit down and write out everything you ever wished you could do, learn, explore, understand, travel, improve, quit doing, etc. List it all no matter how difficult it seems.
Once you have a list, start ranking each item 1 to 5. Items with a 5 next to them are the most important, or the most desirable right now. Then step down the list to the 1's which are things that would be nice, but not super important to who you are or who you are becoming.
Now that you have the tasks narrowed down it's time to pick one of them. If you are in a relationship I recommend bringing this list and your plans to your Dominant and discussing which one will be best for both of you. Select on any way you want; draw it out of a hat... it doesn't matter as long as you only do one at a time.
Congratulations! You now have the task in front of you that you want to accomplish. Your next step may take the longest before you can actually begin. It involves research.
Let's say, for example, that you want to manage your money better. Perhaps you hope to start a savings fund for something special. You will want to read about and research good budgeting techniques and methods. You might start reading some money blogs and learning personal finance. Check into local colleges that might offer classes in personal finance. I've seen some banks also offer workshops.
We need to enter the planning phase with some understanding about the task at hand so that we are ready to do it. Once we have the tools and knowledge the next step is to plot it out into smaller steps.
For the budgeting example, perhaps you first start documenting all of your purchases for a month. Then you draw up a proper budget. Plan on an expendable amount each month and stick to it. Start placing a percentage of your income into a savings account. Schedule and pay bills on time. This is just the start of ideas.
Always break your task into smaller bits so that you can see progress faster and it will keep you going.
Now that you have your steps in place, you can begin to build a reward system. This does include a punishment side to it. You have to be personally accountable to get this done. Try to choose rewards that are not counter productive to your goals. If your goal is to lose 2 inches in your waist, then rewarding yourself with ice cream might not be the best option. Make the positive rewards worth reaching for, but the punishments worthy of your slip. Don't over punish yourself. A common one I've read about is removing TV time, or computer time for a week. It will not only remind you of your slip, but help refocus you too.
Why do you think a punishment/reward system works for personal accountability? Well, honestly if you aren't committed to enforcing it then you won't succeed with it. You can say you are going to not watch TV for 3 days if you fail to do one of the steps for your accountability checks, but if you then go ahead and watch TV anyway because your favorite reality TV show is on then you won't do as well, will you?
If you keep yourself accountable you will make progress with the changes you want to make. You should feel better about yourself and whatever you've changed or added should begin to show itself in your everyday. I'm so proud of all of you who have chosen to make changes in your life and your service. The best thing we can do for ourselves is continue to learn and grow as people.
Celebrate your success, no matter how small. These are the things that really make you feel good. There's no turning back once you have completed all of the mini-steps to your goal.
If you need more help or want some support for developing your personal protocol, head on over to the
community side of the site and join the discussions going on there. Get the support and confidence you need to make these positive changes in your life.
Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.
Copyright © 2019 Silk Web Technologies.
PO Box 8574
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
USA
52408-8574
Promote / Branding •
Copyright Policy •
Privacy Policy •
Terms Of Use
Wanna hang out with other submissives and their partners? We’ve got a chat room on Discord
Join Us!
Learn more with these related books
Creating A Training Resume
Entering The BDSM Community
Making Online Submission Work For You
Submissive Positions Handbook
The Online Submissive
It's often the case that protocol develops in D/s relationships that start out with a bit of structure to them, whether the relationship intended it or not. While there are some casual style relationships that have protocol, I haven't seen a lot of it when a relaxed relationship is preferred. Now with that said, I bet you are wondering what protocol is and how it is developed in relationships! I'm going to cover the basics of protocol, some different types of protocol and then talk about how to develop your own protocol in your relationship.
As with anything, this is a joint effort so you will want to talk to your Dominant before trying to start a protocol on your own. The best protocols work when both parties are actively involved.
Protocol is a defined, enforced code of behavior. It can dictate body, behavior, and attitudes through enforcement or ritual. All those detailed rules that you have when you first start out with someone can be protocol. Think about it. Rules are a code of behavior. If it's enforced then it's a protocol. If you ritualize it, then it's protocol. Granted, the "obey" rule isn't exactly protocol, but if you have to wear your hair a certain way, dress a certain way, speak a certain way or interact with others a certain way (just as examples) then that can be protocol.
There are some invisible protocols that fly under the radar in the vanilla environment. These are used often with couples that have children or D/s in public places. If you think about it, a lot of the rules you currently have go unnoticed in public places or with your family. The ones that don't you likely have a secret code for them so no one has to know you have to ask to use the restroom or have your meals chosen for you (just examples).
Using honorifics is the most common use of protocol in D/s relationships. Honorifics is just a fancy term for the titles we use for our Dominants that convey esteem, respect, and authority. In vanilla settings, you might have a different term that means the same thing or gives you the same feeling. Most people use terms of endearment or the more traditional "Sir".
Language conventions are also a form of protocol, more often seen online than off, but it is evident and powerful for submissives who use them. Things like Capped/uncapped slashy speak where pronouns include the capital and lower case letters; for example, "T/they, U/us, O/our." It's used to remind submissives that Dominants and submissives are separate and that in this code of behavior, they are constantly reminding of this separation. Third person speech is also an online D/s invention to put submissives in a headspace that they are not a person but owned property. In this convention, submissives can not refer to themselves in the first person, so pronouns like I, me, my and mine are banned. Instead, they often say things like, "this girl, this slave, or this one."
First, protocol should be a statement of what to do rather than a statement of what not to do. Make it an action or positive improvement. The reasoning behind this is that no one wants to be told what they can't do and have to remember negative rules is a depressing thing for any new submissive. Even more, experienced submissives can feel like all they have are things they can't do if given a list of protocol that is mainly negative in nature.
Submissive should wear dresses or skirts every day.
Submissive will ask to use the restroom while in the Dominant's presence.
Submissive is to be fully shaved everyday.
Submissive may sit on the furniture with Dominant's permission.
Submissive must not wear pants or shorts.
Submissive can not go to the bathroom without permission.
Submissive should not allow hair growth in areas that must be shaved.
Submissive must not stay up past 11pm.
Submissive can not sit on the furniture without permission.
Protocol should be maintained with little or no Dominant interaction or maintenance. The logic behind this is that it should be something that you do as a part of your submission and the application of specific rules or behaviors need to be things that become a habit and a part of your natural routine. If your Dominant is constantly having to check to make sure you are following your rules it becomes a chore instead of something for positive reinforcement of your power exchange relationship.
With that said, failure to follow protocol should be easily noticed by the Dominant so that they can help you get back on track, be that with punishment or positive reinforcement.
A good choice in protocol will enrich the submissive's head space and accentuate the power dynamic. If it makes the Dominant's preferences well-known and ever-present then it should be something positive for the Dominant as well.
Implemented protocol should be practical for the relationship or situation. Having to kneel every time you need to ask a question might be hot at home but it's not very practical in a public space. So make sure there are guidelines or adjustments made for occasions where your desired protocol can not happen. This goes into the idea of having different levels of protocol. We'll talk a little about that below.
When developing protocol make sure you have frequent adjustments if boredom sets in. Boredom can render protocol useless to both you and your partner. No one likes boredom!
If you've been in the lifestyle and online for any length of time you will likely have been exposed to the idea of High Protocol. There really is no universal meaning in place but it always involves elaborate and specific restrictions or behaviors for situations or occasions. This is where slave uniforms, speech restrictions and more come into play more often than in a more relaxed relationship.
Most relationships that have any sort of rules and protocol will usually be a low protocol situation. It takes a lot of work from both parties to make protocol work as intended for both people. If you progress through the basic rules and start adding rituals (another topic entirely) or more detailed instructions to the protocol, like my coffee service then you are likely moving into a moderate protocol.
High protocol is really a misnomer since the impression of someone's protocol is subject to what you like, what you are currently engaged in for your own relationship and what the participants believe. I've been told that KnyghtMare and I are high protocol, but that's far from the truth for us. I think we are more moderate or medium protocol in that I have rules for specific scenarios like BDSM meetings, parties and in private - each with their own level of awareness or focus.
With that, I think we've covered a lot of the basics of protocol development. What questions do you have about protocol? Maybe they will end up in another article!
Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.
Copyright © 2019 Silk Web Technologies.
PO Box 8574
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
USA
52408-8574
Promote / Branding •
Copyright Policy •
Privacy Policy •
Terms Of Use
Wanna hang out with other submissives and their partners? We’ve got a chat room on Discord
Join Us!
Learn more with these related books
Creating A Training Resume
Entering The BDSM Community
Making Online Submission Work For You
BDSM With Kids In The Home
The Online Submissive
I didn't always consider myself a slave with protocol. I've been with KnyghtMare for over 10 years and it's been a journey of discovery the whole way. The idea of protocol and ritual to enhance our relationship came about in fits and starts, in small suggestions and ideas but it has grown. And that's the best way to go about making changes to your dynamic that could be the best thing you've ever done.
Small changes allow for seeing what will work and what won't before being overwhelmed with a lot of things to remember. You can't really identify what went wrong when you've just added 10 new rules and just as many protocol additions. But when you've added just one or two things and have found something that doesn't fit well, you can easily pinpoint it, discuss it together and then change or remove it. Trial and error works best this way.
For KnyghtMare and I, some of the protocol we do was suggested by me and enhanced by him. I'd read something in a blog or discussion forum and bring it to his attention that I wanted to try it out. He'd either agree or disagree with it. If he agreed then we'd discuss how it would work for us and what it would look like. Nothing was ever decided willy-nilly.
For example, you likely have already read about my ritual surrounding fetching his coffee (need link), but I have another protocol that has developed over time as well that has become one of our favorites.
KnyghtMare's office is off limits for me. It's his space. So I wanted to make it special when I did enter. It started out simply as knocking and asking to enter. I couldn't cross the threshold without his permission. After some time, he added that I had to be dismissed too. So I am to stand at attention until he says, "you are dismissed." He remembers most of the time, but sometimes I am left standing while he continues whatever he was doing. I've been known to clear my throat to get his attention. But I'm also one to forget he has dismissed me already and continue standing there - distracted by what he's doing on the computer or watching on TV. Neither of us are perfect but when it works, it feel right.
Later, we added something new. It seemed silly that if he called me into his office to fetch something that I ask to enter after I've already been given permission so with that in mind we came up with me bowing from the waist at the threshold; acknowledging he's given me permission already and still showing respect for his private space. A couple of times he's mentioned that is his favorite part and wishes he had a mirror to watch behind him when I do that. Perhaps his next office will be oriented in a way he can see the door, just for that purpose.
As you can see from my example, the protocol took something simple; entering a room, and made it unique and more formal. It made it special to us. We also didn't start with something complex and hard to remember. That's the beauty of it. Protocol isn't lovely to see because it's complex, it's lovely to see because it takes something so simple and makes it special.
Ideas for D/s Protocol: Sexy and Pragmatic by Sinclair Sexsmith - Sinclair Sexsmith talks more about the idea of a healthy D/s relationship in regards to setting up protocols. They start with the sexy in this clip, such as lingerie, erotic talismans, and the like.
- What’s the best way to implement a new ritual or task into a D/s relationship? Sinclair Sexsmith breaks it down for you in this clip. The process involves a trial period, a check-in, and then more evaluation to make sure that the new protocol is nurturing the power exchange dynamic and also can be sustained.
- There are many different traditions of protocol and Princess Kali is here to share some of the ‘Kink Academy Standards’ including; tone of voice, addressing a Dominant, and phrases to use to communicate with-in the ‘scene’. These protocols are a good starting point for both submissives and Dominants to establish a more personalized standard.
What simple actions do you do that you could make special? Think about it for a moment and then share it in the comments, I'd love to know what you come up with!
Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.
Copyright © 2019 Silk Web Technologies.
PO Box 8574
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
USA
52408-8574
Promote / Branding •
Copyright Policy •
Privacy Policy •
Terms Of Use
While the word “submissive” used to imply subservience to a man, as in he’s the head of the family and the wife must be in subjection to him (a staple of 1950s Golden Age culture), the new meaning of submissive is associated with the BDSM lifestyle. When a woman is submissive to a man (or a man is submissive to a woman or “Domme”) she is playing the part of a “submissive” and follows the lead of Dominant partner.
Is there a difference between being submissive or “owned” by a man from simply being a “sub”? Actually yes, and the complexity of those different dynamics is why some people have very impassioned arguments about sex, culture and male-female roles.
Consider first, the
Wolfie Blue Porn
Bondage Gagged Videos
Daniela Davidoso