Submissive Male Slave

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Submissive Male Slave
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In my opinion, this is the most over looked, mistaken, and most mis-represented person in the BDSM culture as most others have a voice…
Personally, I have come to find out and conclude that male hetero-sexual submissives are not allowed to be themselves in the community. Why? Because apparently, society as a whole, including the BDSM culture at large, have made it so these men cannot come out of the proverbial closet to be themselves in the BDSM culture. What is the reasoning for this?
So, it has been explained to me that it is not accepted as “manly”, whatever that definition is, to admit that a male has feelings. It is not “manly” to admit that he has desires. It is not “manly” to admit he has wants. It is not “manly” to admit he has needs. It is not “manly” he has desires. It is not “manly” to admit that he has anything to do with something that comes from within.
Because as a society (once again, this means you as a whole) says that a male submissives, cannot express his feelings unless he is gay, a sissy, a transvestite, a cross dresser, a Switch, or something of the sort (not that there is anything wrong with any of those things)… It is forbidden that a male is to be a “normal” human being with natural desires of wanting to be cared for, loved, taken care of, having their needs met, and so on and so forth like everyone else without being classified as a pansy little bitch who whines and cries on the floor for his mommy.
For shame, people, for shame. And people say here say that they are open minded within the BDSM community…
Before I go on, why is it socially ok in the BDSM culture for the following:
Why? What is a legitimate reason why? Not because “society” (which once again goes even back to the community), says it is not allowed because of the norms of what is allowed in the mind as acceptable because a male should be “manly” and beat their chest, bring home the bacon, grab their female by the hair, and drag her to the bedroom?
The last time I checked, BDSM went against the norms of society…we are free to make our own choices…free to do our own thing…WITHOUT being judged and allowing ourselves to be accepted. If the reasoning for not accepting male hetero-sexual submissives is due to the way we as a society were brought up, then there is a problem, because then (NOT that I believe this) every female submissive is a slut, every tranny/gay person/pouf/so on is a fag/sissy, so on and so forth. (once again, NOT that I believe this.)
So, now I ask the community as a whole…please tell me, please explain to me, with a mature and logical argument why submissive hetero-sexual males are not accepted in BDSM culture. If there is no reason, then people need to re-examine their beliefs and themelves, for their hypocricies. And I say that with the nicest of intentions and with the sweetest of smiles, of course…
So I ask, so what, if a male submissive has emotions where they want to express themselves to their Dominant female? So what if a male wants to submit to a female? Who are you to judge? You beat a fe/male on a daily/weekly basis and that is against the law/against moral values. So what, if a male submissive likes to wear females’ panties? Who are you to judge? You like to dress [your] fe/male up in slutty clothing/pouf so they are paraded around like a piece of meat for your enjoyment. So what, if they like to be beaten? Who are you to judge? You like to beat your submissive too. So what, if male submissives want to talk about things that most males cannot talk about, but females can? Who are you to judge? There are things you can talk about that they can’t. So what, if they…so on and so forth… Who are you to judge? You do things against societal norms as well. You do things that break the law as well. You do things that go against moral codes as well. So, who are you to judge and say that male submissives are just plain “wrong”, “sissies”, “pansies”, “less than human”, or whatever you call them and look down and them as?
Just because the male hetero-sexual submissives do not beat their chest, shake their tail feathers, and make a mating call like male dominants do; it doesn’t mean they are less than human, it doesn’t mean they are less than equal, and it doesn’t mean that they deserve any less respect than you do, your (as you call them) little slut does, or anyone else for that matter within this community. So, before you go and judge the next submissive male for what they like and what they do not like; why don’t you take a look in the mirror and judge yourself for what you do, cast stones at yourself first before you do anything to them.
As a matter of fact, I believe male hetero-sexual submissives are stronger than most because they are able to admit to themselves within this society that they are what they are, going against the grain. They are able to say, “yes, I am a male, yes, I am a submissive, yes I do like ____…and what?” publicly. So the next time someone wants to say a male submissive is a pansy…maybe they should really look within because the fact is, that person would never be able to handle that reality themselves…
I could go on…but I think I have made my points very clear…
In my opinion, the most mis-judged female…
So…not to sound angry…but many of us have heard it 1,000 times… We are NOT secretly Switches/submissives…we are NOT waiting for the “right” Dominant to come along to show us what we are missing, and we are NOT secretly waiting for you to get us alone so we could have you all to ourselves. GET OVER YOURSELVES, male Dominants. You aren’t that good, you aren’t that special, and you aren’t that handsome, so piss off.
How many times have I had, or any other FemDom has had some male Dominant come up to me/them and say, “So…you’re a Switch…” , or “So…you’re really a submissive…”, or “So…I know this is just a front…”, or something of the sort…?
You ignorant, self-absorbed, egotistical, oxygen thief. And you wonder why FemDoms are always pissed off and take offense to and at most male Dominants? You wonder why most FemDoms get ready to do battle when a male Dom when they walk into the room? You wonder why we are, as you say; are “Femi-Nazis”?
Once again, if you looked outside of the social and societal norms of what you were raised with, maybe, just maybe, you would see that we, just like you; have our own preferences. And guess what? We, just like you male Dominants, like to make our fe/males bow to us and kiss our boots…lick out feet…kiss our pussy…or whatever we so choose to make them do…at our whim…and we too can call them “bitch” and “slut” because, guess what? gasp Just like your females…the males like it too…gasp…no way…(sarcasm-if you couldn’t tell…) ;)
How would you like it, if every FemDom you met said the same to you every first meeting you had with them? Every single time you met a Female Dominant they said, “So…I know you really want to be my little bitch boy…”, or “So…I know you really want to kiss my boots you little slut buddy…”, or “I know you secretly want my strap on in your ass, you little cunt…”, so on and so forth… Kinda disrespectful, eh? Now you know how we as Female Dominants feel. So stop being an insensitive prick…oops…sorry…that’s one of the best parts of a male, so I really can’t say that as that would be a compliment…so stop being an ass hole…oops…once again…another good part of the anatomy…sigh…so stop being a pansy little bitch and think that you are the Gods’ gift to earth, because guess what… male Dominants are not the Gods gift to the universe and get over yourselves.
Not every FemDom is a paid Dominatrix!!!
…Now…off of my soapbox about that and onto the explanation…
Just as the male hetero-sexual submissives are often, misunderstood, so often to are the Female Dominants; especially ones who are NOT dominatrixes.
All too often, if a Female is a Dominant, she is automatically classified as a Dominatrix and that is not always the case and some take great offense to it.
While some females choose to do BDSM as a profession, which is their choice, others, like myself, choose to never go down that path and are offended when it is even mentioned.
Because, personally, I do not need to sell my physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual self in order to complete or follow my BDSM journey. If others do, that is their path, but for people like me, we do not want to be lumped into the category of a Dominatrix as we find it to be their path and not ours.
In reference, that would be like calling a Dominant a submissive. It is quite upsetting to the receiver and quite unwanted and unwarranted, unless trying to upset the person.
I play with my boys and girls because I want to, because I crave them, because they crave me, because of our relationship, because of our connections, because…etc…
I do not play because I need to pay a bill or because of a paycheck. I do not play to work. This is not work.
BDSM is play to me. BDSM is a release to me. BDSM is fun to me. BDSM is a joy to me.
To me, and to Females like me, professional work is not anything remotely near in sight and the thought of it not only disgusts our thought process for us to do for ourselves (not for others to do for it is their choice); that it would never be a remote possibility to happen with me or people like me.
I think the most I was offered was $350 an hour for a session. However, I turned them down because of my morals and ethical values for me personally could not handle the implications afterwards mentally or emotionally.
Some people can handle it, some people can’t. Personally, I cannot handle it. I am not made to make money while manipulating people. Personally, my biggest issue, as I have stated before is the married males who go to professionals to cheat on their wives and all who participate. That is my biggest issue of them all, but I digress.
However, back to the issues at hand; not all Females who are Dominant are professionals and those who are not take offense (and rightly so) as they (and I) have not sold ourselves for money, to put it simply.
The way I look at it, and I do not look at it as all do, so this is me; I have not had someone played by me, pay me, and then go wack off in front of me or after I am done with them. Anyone I have played with, there was a balanced and shared form of energy between the two of us and no money exchanged hands (or dressers); we just enjoyed the other fully. The experience was purely for that…the experience…the way I believe it should be.
Mentally…emotionally…physically…spiritually…
Remember…NOT every Female who is a Dominant, is a paid Dominatrix…
Thank you for your time, and have a nice day.
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As the first in a series of articles focusing on male submission, this article presents thoughts about one of the archetypes of male submission, the “worm.”

Men and women are different, of course, and in some cases that goes beyond the obvious physical characteristics. Almost all of the articles on The Submissive Guide are valid regardless of gender, but there are sometimes subtle differences in the application of advice even in the emotional and mental aspects of submission.

One common archetype of submissive men is the worm, a man who wants to be humiliated, degraded, and tormented as much as possible by most any and every dominant woman he encounters. Depending upon the male sub’s orientation, he may want to be treated this way by only dominant women, only dominant men, or regardless of gender. There are submissive women who fit the worm mindset but I believe that it is a much more common desire with submissive men. It is such a common mindset for some sub men that it is a stereotype within the BDSM community that almost all sub men are worms, which is not at all true. Also, the worm type of sub men is sometimes not respected by others even within the BDSM community, which is unfortunate because we should all be allowed to be who we want to be, as long as it is Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC).

Not all submissive men are worms. In fact, I believe that only a small percentage of submissive men are worms. It is not at all reasonable to believe that just because a man is submissive, that makes him a worm. Every individual is unique and has his own needs and desires, which often have nothing to do with being a worm.

Even that varies by individual and many who enjoy this type of submission may not even classify themselves with the term “worm.” The term “worm” is offensive to some sub men who do not identify as a worm.

In general, a worm enjoys when a dominant, who fits his gender orientation or desire, treats him as a lowly sub-human who must never stand, must never use furniture, must never eat human food, must never make eye contact, must serve as a human toilet, must never be temporarily free from suffering of some sort, and so on. Often, worms enjoy being dominated by a group, though this is not always the case.

Many subs who are not worms enjoy many of these mindsets and even when some of these mindsets are in place 24/7 that does not necessarily make a specific submissive a worm. A worm is mainly the overall mindset of being treated as a sub-human to most every dominant as often as possible. In some cases being a worm is a fantasy where the reality is being a worm part of the time or being only partially a worm, or even being a worm only in the imagination. Note that the term “worm” does not refer to acting like an earthworm, it is a slang term.

There are subs who might be offended that I list an activity they enjoy, such as not being allowed to use the furniture and categorize that as being a worm. For clarification, the term worm is subjective and it is not the specific activities which classify a worm. For example, if a sub is openly loved and cherished by a dominant and part of that love is manifested in the dominant’s requirement that the sub does not use the furniture, then that is likely not a worm dynamic. By contrast, if the dominant and other dominants think of the sub with disdain (whether real or in role-play) and sometimes kick the sub who is on the floor, then that may be a worm they are kicking.

As with most every sub, a worm has limits. For clarification, breaking an arm is a limit for all BDSM subs, but it’s a limit nonetheless. Many worms would not consent to particular activities, even ones which are commonly associated with worms. For example, a sub man may be a worm but not consent to be involved in anything in the bathroom. Also, many worms only want to be a worm some of the time or to only be treated as a worm by one dominant or by a select few. All worms are unique.

Many worms want to be treated online as a worm by everyone who contacts them, even from the first message. The idea of a dominant sending a message such as “Hi, I saw your profile and you seem interesting” may break the fantasy of some worms who might prefer a message such as “You are a disgusting pig and I demand that you send me a reverential e-mail in return!”

However, and this is very important, it is inappropriate to send someone an initial message containing non-consensual domination such as in my “disgusting pig” example. If a user’s profile explicitly indicates permission to send a domination type message, then that constitutes consent but otherwise, there is no consent until the sub provides consent. Unless domination consent is given, an initial message should be polite and neutral, without any domination in it.

Similarly, it is inappropriate for a sub to send an initial message of submission, unless the dominant’s profile specifically provides consent for that. Many dominant women on FetLife receive frequent messages out of the blue from sub men such as “Mistress, I worship you and want to submit to you spitting on me and anything else you want!” This is completely inappropriate as an unsolicited initial message unless the woman’s profile specifically indicates something like “You must always address me as Mistress and grovel at my feet so do not send me a message unless you are worshipping me.” Otherwise, if you are a sub male sending an initial message to a dominant woman, please be polite such as commenting on something non-sexual you like in their profile or on a group message board comment they posted, and if she wants you to submit to her then that can happen later once she gives you consent, not in the initial unsolicited message.


Why would a submissive man want to be a worm?

The worm dynamic may seem very undesirable to many subs. The answer to why is unique to the individual. Why do any of us want to be the type of subs we are? As long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, then a worm should be free to explore his identity and desires. We should all recognize that there are many different submissive mindsets within BDSM and just because we may not like specific mindsets, that does not make those mindsets any less valid to others.

Is it safe and sane to submit to sub-human treatment by every dominant? That depends on the situation. For example, if attending a BDSM party by a trusted host in which it is known that attending worms will be free to be worms, and if there is some sort of screening process such as only invited guests are attending, then yes it can be safe and sane. Just as with any sub, a worm should judge the situation for safety.

There are difficulties which are somewhat unique to worms. From what I have read on FetLife and other websites, dominant women generally do not want a worm as a long term partner and instead often want a strong man who submits. If the worm is a strong man, there may still be great compatibility if the dominant woman enjoys treating the sub as a worm a certain amount of the time. However, I have seen comments from many dominant women that they do not enjoy the worm dynamic at all, so as with everything else it is up to the individual. Finding a long term compatible partner is difficult for most everyone, not just worms.

Another difficulty for worms is that it seems to me that there are a whole lot more submissive men who are worms of some sort than there are dominant women who enjoy the male worm dynamic. I have seen comments and profiles of dominant women who do enjoy the worm dynamic, but I have also noticed that many of those dominant women who enjoy the worm dynamic are also Pro Dommes and/or Financial Dominants. Consequently, many submissive men who are worms often feel the need or, in cases of an enjoyment of Financial Domination, the desire to pay money to be treated as the worm they enjoy being. In some cases paying money fits the worm dynamic, but there are also many worms who do not want to be financially dominated.

Is it too much to ask to find a long term partner who is a dominant woman but does not need money to change hands early in the relationship? It is not too much to ask, but as with any compatibility, it is not easy finding the right match.

How does a man know when a dominant woman requires money? If a dominant requires money, then usually there is a reference to money in her profile such as “I enjoy Financial Domination,” “I love being spoiled,”
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