Submissive Husband Dominant Wife
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Submissive Husband Dominant Wife
Many marriages involve having a submissive husband, a situation where the man is the lesser partner and follows orders and commands from his wife.
There are, of course, varying degrees of submission, but at the very least, the man will be obedient to his Dominant wife and will follow her lead absolutely.
But this obedience doesn’t just happen overnight.
Submissive men must be trained by their Dominant wives.
This training covers many aspects of submission, and it seeks to ensure that the husband is properly obedient, leading to a happiness and contentment in submission that is desired by these men.
Basic submissive training involves men learning the proper way to do the simple tasks that their wives demand, such as housework.
For a husband to be truly submissive, not only does he complete the tasks that his wife demands, he must do them in a way that meets her high standards.
Often times the wife will assign tasks with complex instructions just to see how attentive her husband is.
If her standards are not met, she will punish her husband and demand he complete the task properly.
Punishment can include anything from doing the task over and over again many times to reinforce the proper way to do it, to verbal and physical reprimands.
Submissive training often works best when the punishment fits the crime, however, and most punishments will seek to reinforce correct behavior.
Another level of submissive training is attitude and obedience training.
While these men desire submission, many are not always completely ready for the emotional and psychological demands it can place on them.
If the submissive husband has a bad attitude, is insubordinate, talks back, acts out or otherwise isn't submitting mentally, his Dominant wife may use training methods to change his mental attitude.
This includes things such as verbal humiliation, or washing his mouth out with soap.
The most intense submissive husband training that is used by many couples can include things like chastity belts for men, strapon training, and denial.
These methods seek to change the motivations of the men.
Once a man has become a submissive husband, his needs are secondary to hers.
He needs to learn to refocus his own energy, and often times this takes having his urges suppressed or controlled.
When the man has his desires suppressed, he can focus and concentrate on what she wants, and it makes him more obedient and attentive to his wife.
While a lot of the submissive training involves punishment and correction of behavior, there is an equal element of reward and satisfaction.
When submissive males are doing well with their training and are being obedient, they are rewarded by their wives with love, attention, and release.
Many men find that this is extremely gratifying, and the rewards are that much more powerful because they are truly earned.
Submissive husbands will go through all the punishments just to get to that point of reward, and they relish in those moments when they have truly pleased their wives 100%.
Submissive training is absolutely necessary in a relationship where the wife is in power as it seeks to create harmony and peace in the relationship.
If trained properly, the husband is calm, happy, and proud to serve his wife, and this sense of happiness and peace is what the wife led relationship is all about.
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I requested my wife that she allow me to make a donation to ConquerHim because of the effect you have had on our relationship.
I ran across ConquerHim on Youtube, while looking for sites with dominant women. I watched several of the Queenie videos and they immediately struck a cord. I always felt that I am a submissive man but because of social norms and lack of knowledge I have not really come to terms with that until now.
As far back as I can remember my fantasies always involved a dominant sexual encounter with a forceful woman. This was to the point where I had difficulty achieving orgasm in the usual on top position without fantasizing about submission. I asked a therapist about this once and he advised that I just accept this part of me as who I am.
My wife is a kind, loving person with a full figure which I always found to be a turn on. We were very compatible intellectually. She was mostly a stay at home Mom raising our children and I fortunately was able to make enough to allow that. We had some rough years and nearly split but held on though without much passion. Our kids are out of the house and I retired a few years ago with just some very part-time work. She remained busy with hobbies, friends and volunteering. After I found ConquerHim I went to link after link to learn more about how FLR works and how it was OK for me to own my submissiveness (which by the way made my work frustrating at times with my inability to assert.)
I found cair4.com , worshipyourwife.com and read both books Mark Redmond wrote. I also enjoyed elisesutton.com , rwddh.com and mistressivey.blogspot.com being the main ones I looked to for advice. From each site, including ConquerHim, I found information that resonated and other info that I rejected as being too humiliating, D/s or involving activities I had no interest in. But each site would give me at least one or more revelations.
After some weeks I summoned up the courage to have a ‘pillow talk’ with my wife before we had sex (her on top for the last many years.) To my great relief she agreed. I shared some of the sites I had looked at. She was already controlling the sex food group by telling me when our next ‘date’ was. After all the reading I decided to stop all pornography viewing which I was ashamed of anyway. I also entered volunteer chastity which I have with only one exception in the last 3 months been able to maintain. These two decisions made a huge difference in my making her my Goddess and the only woman I fantasized about. I developed a strong submissive crush and could not tell her enough how much I loved and adored her and how attractive I found her.
I apologized for my past behavior in not supporting her and honoring her wishes and opinions. I asked her to take control of all the remaining food groups which she has done with the exception of the investment part of our retirement. I have always handled the investments and she has no interest in controlling that part, but now I give her regular reports about how we are doing. I ask her permission on all big expenditures. When we bought a new car for her recently I did the research and came up with recommendations but it was her decision as to which car, model, options, color etc.
I have written many love notes for her to read about my love and adoration. I make the coffee and bring it her in bed and close the door to allow her quiet while I do dishes or other housework. Every day I get down before her on my knees and pledge my love and obedience as her submissive husband. We have become extremely close and affectionate.
She gets regular pedis and frequent massages. I do a lot but not all of the house work. I’m naturally more into neatness than she is anyway. She is a very good cook and likes to do that so my role there is to support and handle doing the barbecue. There is more I could relate but bottom line we are in love like we have never been before. We are still figuring things out, but I can’t imagine relating to her in any other way but as her submissive husband. Thank you to Queenie and the other FLR trailblazers.
I am very submissive. I know that most women want a alpha male. I always submit to their desires. I was born submissive, I have tried to change, but I can’t. I have learned to live with being submissive.
This is false, maybe it was the case in the past but nowadays, there are more dominant women than ever before. The truth is that most women in first world countries are dominant and they want a submissive man but they cant find one because they are rare. The reason why you think that women want alpha males is because of pua blogs that put that lie in your head, anyone who wants to teach you how to be more alpha is not a genuine person and they are most likely scamming you. What I learned during the past 5 years is that its much better to be yourself than to try to imitate someone you are not and its also much easier to be yourself and women prefer that too. The best advice I ever got on trying to attract women is to just treat them like normal human beings, dont talk to them just to get something out of it, but if you like each other, then do ask for her phone number after meeting for the first time. Just let it happen naturally, dont try to seduce.
Many guys claim that they are submissive but they are really just sexually submissive, they watch femdom porn and they want to be dominated in specific scenes where they pick all the details.
Women dont want to fake being dominant for a few hours to fulfill your fantasy because they would gain nothing from doing that. What they want is a boyfriend who is fully devoted to her, when she wants something done, he does it, when she disagrees on something, he lets her win, every time there is a difference in opinion or power struggle, he lets her dominate him and tell him what to do. A lot of men end up doint this eventually because they realize that they cannot exert power in their relationship but they never fully surrender so their female led relationship is stuck at level 1.
If they were to surrender completely, then they could reach level 4 (total control).
You say you are submissive but what you really need to ask yourself is whether or not you really are. Are you focused on her needs at all times? Do you like having no choice? Not being able to go to the restaurant you want, not being able to choose the movie you want, not being able to choose how to live your life? Do you constantly have trouble managing your life and want someone to do it for you instead?
So basically, are you doing it to improve your life and hers at the same time? Or are your just seeking to fulfill a fantasy?
Women are almost always turned off by men who claim to want a female led relationship but never truly prove it, actions speak much louder than words.
If you want to be sure, I have a suggestion, first get a girlfriend, then do all you can to serve her and please her, surrender in every argument you have together and then as she gets more and more used to her role, then you can introduce more tools to help you both in your relationship, like chastity and punishment. However, the only way this is going to work is if you really are submissive and she really is dominant. Its easy to tell if a woman is dominant, she will try to lead as much as possible and she will try to make you do things and be more productive.
In my case, I got into femdom porn around 2015 and then in around 2016, I found out about female led relationships but I wasnt sure if they were for me, I was constantly questioning my true nature, and then recently I decided to accept myself for who I am instead of trying to become someone I am not. Everywhere they tell us men to be dominant and lead women but for many years, all I ever wanted was for someone to lead me and help me become a more productive man and in addition, I always wanted to please women in many ways. I remember seeing my parents fight many times as a kid and it was always a power struggle, my mother was a natural dominant woman who wanted to control the relationship more but my father has kept on resisting and never relented. Me, I always disliked fights in relationships, people say they are normal but me I would prefer just letting my future girlfriend win instead. She could consult me for decisions of course but she would have the final say, I would be more organized, I would be more productive and as a result, I would be much happier. And she would be too because she would have a man to fulfill all her desires whenever she wants and she would be able to get whatever she wants with no resistance.
Because I wasnt sure of what I wanted in a relationship all these years, I never searched for one, I always isolated myself socially to try to figure out important things about how I was going to live my life. During this time, I learned a lot about what I wanted from life and what women are attracted to when looking for a relationship. But now I will start going out more and putting myself out there by going to events and social groups to connect with different people and eventually be able to meet a woman I am attracted to. What I learned from all those years is that if you dont put yourself out there, there is little to no chance that you will ever meet people so its absolutely crucial that you put yourself out of your comfort zone and go out to places you wouldnt normally go.
Thank you very much for that wonderful message. I am also submissive. Not a kink not a fetish but just the way that the good Lord created me always putting the wants needs and desires of my partner before myself. It’s my lifestyle my decisions and I feel like I am a happier man for that. I recently lost my master 3 1/2 years ago to stage four cancer and I’m hoping that one day life will smile down upon me in blessing me with a new master. Thank you for Taking out the time with composing the letter and for all of your insight..
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Take charge of your FLR with these 5 simple steps from a happy dominant wife.
So you have been the head of your household for years now but are still unsure of how to manage your home and your husband. There are certain things that you like but others that you dislike in an FLR. There are times when you would like to know how to act in order to both increase your own satisfaction and enhance the relationship between you and your husband.
Don’t worry — you’re not alone! Like you, most of us wives in charge ended up in this position at the request of our husbands. What we thought at first was only a passing kink morphed over time to the foundation of a stronger, more loving relationship where we lead and our husbands follow. Yes, it is a lot of work for us – but even more work for our husbands ;)! — but let’s face it, we like being bosses. The question comes up in our minds, though: Are we doing what’s best to enjoy being a dominant wife while enhancing our relationships with our men and keeping them happy? After all, we married them because we love them and we do want to keep them happy….
Well, I can’t answer all your questions, but I can certainly offer you a framework to help you think them through and decide by yourself what’s best.
First, the preparations. Think carefully about the relationship you have now with your husband — not what it was in the past or may get to be in the future, nor what it’s supposed to be or you or him would like it to be, but what it really is, now. Then, prepare the following lists. Don’t worry if you can’t come up with 10 items, but do try to complete the lists if you can.
Now that you’ve completed the lists, go back and rank them in order of importance TO YOU.
Now think about each item carefully and answer the following questions for each one:
So what is it that will let you enjoy being a dominant wife while enhancing your relationship with your husband and keeping him happy? Let’s think about it a little bit.
After our little exercise, the changes that you should make so that you can enjoy more being the dominant party in your marriage should be obvious: make sure you get more of what you like, less (or none!) of what you dislike and add those other things that you are not yet getting but you would like. You already made notes about what you and your husband need to do to accomplish these things. It’s simple. Now you know what you need to do to make YOURSELF happy.
As far as enhancing your relationship with your husband, it’s obvious that anything that makes you AND him happier will make the relationship better. Agreed? Great!
Now, let’s talk about how to make HIM happy. Some of the changes that you would like may mean more work, less free time, even pain and suffering for your husband, so there may be a conflict here between what’s best for you and what’s best for him. So what are you to do? Well, he submitted to you years ago, right? And not only he hasn’t asked you to return to the old relationship dynamics, but in fact he keeps asking you to take more control over him, doesn’t he? So… it seems that in order to make him happy you ought to make all the important decisions according to your own preferences. As long as he sees that any changes that you introduce make you happier, he’ll also be happier. Don’t be fooled if sometimes he acts like he wants to regain control. That’s his way of calling to your attention the fact that you need to TAKE more control over him and your marriage. Remember, you can’t ASK for more power, you must TAKE IT.
If the last paragraph makes sense to you, then you will agree that you will make HIM happier if you make changes that will make YOU happier. If you don’t agree, discuss the matter with him. Tell him that you are thinking about making some changes, describe them and ask him how he feels about them. Ask him to be honest because once the changes are in place you will not want to go back. If your husband is remotely like all the other submissive husbands I know, I have no doubt that he will make the case for you to order the changes immediately and will cooperate enthusiastically to implement them.
This is the last step. Go ahead and make the changes that you have determined are needed. Don’t hesitate and don’t let your husband slack in any way. By making these changes you will the happier head of a happier household, followed by a happier husband, even if it’s hard for either or both of you at the beginning. Don’t relent!
-By J.A., woman, author and longtime reader of this website
It took me years to realize that Women are superior and smarter than men and our priority should always be Their happiness and we’ll being
Absolutely great article. I wish something like this was available when I was a younger man and first started desiring this sort of relationship. Being able to have direction and expert advice is so important. Thanks aboutflr for being a great resource.
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My wife Jane and I dated in college, broke up, and got back together nearly 20 years later. She was rather shy, though sexually adventurous, and was intrigued by my desire to be submissive to women. By the time we met up again, she had become a very successful executive.
Nearly a decade into our marriage, we hadn’t explored the concept of a female led relationship, though I did share my submissive fantasies with Jane. About five years ago, my brother Jerry married a beautiful younger woman, Nina, who brought FLR into our lives. We soon noticed that Jerry and Nina never fought and he immediately did anything Nina asked him to.
Jane and Nina soon became friends. They d
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