Submissive Couple Stories

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Submissive Couple Stories
Married submissive: The love, the kink and the connection.
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To me, D/s in an established marriage or relationship can look very different to other forms of D/s but there are loads of great blogs written by other married people out there who are living this sort of lifestyle. The important thing to remember is that one size does not fit all, so I would advise taking the bits that you think will fit in with your life and leaving the ones which wouldn’t suit your personalities or way of living. I think that many can worry that this is something new that will change your life; I would argue that it will simply add to the life that you already have. You are not giving anything up, but enhancing what you have so that you are closer, more intimate and more loving and thoughtful towards one another.
I would describe us as living a 24/7 D/s lifestyle , which means that the dynamic has been woven through all areas of our marriage, but it is an ‘add on’, a way of living. At the centre, always, is the love and commitment that we have to one another. I see the foundations of any good relationship being Communication , Respect , Trust , honesty and love. If you keep these foundations at the core and you work hard to meet each others needs then you are able to create a Power Exchange where you are able to explore your fantasies and desires together. I think that many people see a Dominant and submissive relationship as being about the kink. It is the ideal place to experiment and I am sure that this will come from the openness you have, but within a marriage, I think that the emotional connection that you share is really at the centre. However, it is likely that you will end up exploring your Kinky side which may have always been there but within the new found openness you are sharing it suddenly seems possible to try some of the things you have always wanted to; I have written about some of those in the Play, Scenes and Kink Category
So assuming you have read enough to know that this is something that you want and your partner feels it is something that could work, I would suggest that you sit down and talk about how it would work. You would usually have some Rules and Rituals which will fit with your values and help you to keep your submissive and Dominant mindsets. It is important for play that you Set Limits which you are both comfortable with. We used an online limits list which was helpful for discussion and made a great starting point. It is important always to think about Consent, Safety and Aftercare and safe-words are a must.
When I started this blog one of my aims was to provide relevant material which fitted with a married D/s dynamic as this was something that I had found hard to find when I was starting out. Initially we found it very hard when we hit the Bumps which are inevitable in any relationship. We relied a lot on support and encouragement from others and if you don’t have that it can be hard. In the beginning I was so excited that I wanted to rush and it took all I had to be Patient . I also had the tendency to be passive and it took me a while to work out that in order to support my husband with this, sometimes I had to be Actively Submissive .
On this page I have tried to bring together some of the posts I have written which I thought might help if you were just starting out. My blog is really reflective of my journey so although my intention was to be able to share with others who are like-minded, I realise that unless you go back to the beginning, some of those earlier posts might not be seen so thought it might be useful to collect some of the key ones here. I have tried to organise my blog posts loosely into categories to help people find what they are looking for; Building a D/s Dynamic , Submissive Journal , Submissive Musings and Play, Scenes and kink .
If you can relate to what I am writing about and would like to chat any of it through and/or bounce ideas around then please contact me, either via email or through my Contact page.
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Our new neighbors were strange. That’s what I told my wife, the first time I saw them.
“Did you see the new people next door?” I asked her, the day they moved in.
“No, not yet,” she replied, busy making dinner.
She put the pot down. “What do you mean?”
Laura lowered the flame on the stovetop. “Okay, so what’s strange about them?”
She shook her head. “Harold, you think everyone’s strange. What do you mean they’re perfect?”
“They look like Ken and Barbie. Their faces are perfectly smooth and tanned. Their bodies are perfectly proportioned. Real people don’t look like that.”
“Have you taken your medication yet?”
“Yes,” I said in a huff. “And it doesn’t have anything to do with that. Let’s go over there after dinner. Welcome them to the neighborhood. You’ll see.”
And that’s what we did. Laura took over an apple pie she’d baked yesterday. I thought that was too generous on our part, but I’m cheap that way.
I knocked on their door and waited. ‘Ken’ opened it.
“Hi, I’m Harold and this is my wife Laura,” I said. “We’re your next door neighbors.” The man was over six feet tall, ruggedly built, with thick blonde hair. “Hello, people,” he said in an odd accent. Swedish, German maybe?
I forced a smile. “We came to welcome you to the neighborhood.”
“I’ve brought you a pie,” Laura added.
He looked down at the pie and frowned. “A pie,” he said, as though he’d never seen one before.
He stared back at us. “Please, enter my house and sit.” He stuck out his hand. “My name Jack Tor.”
Just then, ‘Barbie’ came into the room. Tall, long blonde hair, blue eyes. A knockout.
“I Susan Tor,” she said in the same odd accent.
We all shook hands and sat in the living room. “Where are you from?” I asked. “You sound European.”
The Tor’s exchanged a glance. Jack said, “From Ukraine.”
Laura smiled. “I brought you a pie.”
Susan Tor took it, looked at it quizzically and then put it on the table next to her.
“What do you want?” Jack asked, frowning.
I stood up. “Nothing... we just wanted to say hello; welcome you on your first day. I’m sure you’ve got a lot of unpacking to do.” I looked around the house and saw no moving boxes. The furniture was all in its place and the pictures on the walls were perfectly hung. How is that possible? I saw the moving truck unloading all their furniture and boxes just this morning.
“Didn’t I tell you?” I asked Laura as we walked back to our house.
“They seemed normal to me, dear. A funny accent, but other than that, just a very good-looking couple. Maybe they’re models...”
“Models my ass... They’re strange.”
A noise woke me up at 3 a.m. I looked at the clock and listened. There it was again. A scraping noise coming from outside. Laura was sound asleep next to me, so I slipped quietly out of bed and peered through the bedroom window. The noise was coming from next door. I pulled the curtain aside and saw lights on in their house. What the hell? It’s the middle of the night!
I put on a robe, walked downstairs and out to our porch, to get a better view of what was going on. There’s a window in the side door to their garage, and light spilled out of it. I crept over to their house; I know I shouldn’t have, but I’m pretty nosy.
I peered in the window and saw our neighbors. They were dressed in black clothing and were loading something into their van. At first I thought they were burlap bags, but after a second look I saw they were huge brown eggs. What the hell are those?
Suddenly a dog barked down the street. Startled, the Tors stopped loading and looked around. I don’t think they saw me, but I got scared and ran back to my house. I crawled into bed and tried to fall back asleep.
Over breakfast, I told Laura what happened.
“Silly man. You shouldn’t be spying on our neighbors.”
“I’m telling you, they’re strange.”
She shook her head. “I’m calling Dr. Larson today. You need to see him.”
“I’m fine. And, yes, I took my medication this morning.”
“I’m not making this up; I saw them loading these huge eggs into their van. I think they’re aliens from another planet. They’re going to take over Earth...”
“Okay, that’s it. As soon as I get back from the market this morning, I’m calling the doctor.”
Laura did the dishes, finished her supermarket list, took our old Buick, and left. Tired from last night, I lay on the sofa and closed my eyes. I thought I’d doze for a while, try to calm down. Maybe Laura was right, maybe I was imagining things.
Within a few minutes, I was startled awake by a noise outside. What could that be? Probably squirrels in the back yard.
I closed my eyes again and dozed off. Suddenly, I felt something grab my arms. My eyes snapped open. Oh, my God! It’s them!
Jack Tor held my arms in a vise-like grip, while Susan clutched something in her hand. Then I saw it. A large hypodermic needle.
I struggled, trying to get free. But it was no use; I’m sixty, a retired pencil pusher, no match for that guy. I screamed as she plunged the needle into my arm. Suddenly, my body went limp and everything turned black.
I was strapped down to a bed; Laura was standing next to me. We were in a hospital room.
“I’m sorry, Harold. I should have called the doctor sooner.”
I answered her, but it was gibberish — I couldn’t say anything coherently.
Tears rolled down her face. “Don’t try to talk. Doctor Larson says you’ve suffered a mental breakdown. I’m so sorry.”
I struggled against the straps. I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got to warn the world. Before it’s too late.
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Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
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Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
Early Prime Day deals & all the facts
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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
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