Submission 6

Submission 6

John Piper is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books , including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and most recently What Is Saving Faith?

John Piper is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books , including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and most recently What Is Saving Faith?

These short devotionals by John Piper, Francis Chan, and others are designed to shape, challenge, and inspire your own vision of marriage and God.

We all need comforters who commend us for our faithfulness and champions who challenge us to greater heights.

How do we know if we are able to bear the heavy calling of being the aroma of life to some and the aroma of death to others?

Questions and answers with John Piper
Interactive Bible study with John Piper
Questions and answers with John Piper
Interactive Bible study with John Piper
Most people in the world have no experience of lasting joy in their lives. We’re on a mission to change that. All of our resources exist to guide you toward everlasting joy in Jesus Christ.
What is submission not , according to 1 Peter 3:1–6 ? When I preached on this passage probably twenty years ago, women in my church found this question really helpful because we bring to the text presuppositions from our experience. You might hear submission means six or seven things, and five of those sound horrible to you, and two look okay.
If you bring to the Bible your preconceptions, you might just throw the baby out with the bathwater, and say, “If that’s what submission means, then I’m out of here.” That would be very sad. You may be right, you may be wrong, but it would be sad. I wrote down six things submission to a husband in marriage is not. I really want you to see them in the text.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. ( 1 Peter 3:1–6 )
Submission is not agreeing on everything, for instance the Christian faith, because the husband in 1 Peter 3:1–6 is an unbeliever . If in that situation the husband said, “You can’t have that religion. In this family we worship ISIS (or whatever),” this wife says, “I’m sorry.” It’s possible to be submissive and refuse to think what your husband says you should think. This text doesn’t make sense without that. She has sworn allegiance to Jesus. Jesus is now her Lord and her King. She’s an alien and an exile in this marriage. This husband belongs to another god, and she’s called to live with him. Do not get divorced over issues of religion.
If he says, “I don’t want you to be a Christian,” what does she say? She says, “I love you. I want to be submissive to you. I intend to be submissive to you. But on this point, I have no choice. I belong to Jesus.” He may send her away. That happens in 1 Corinthians 7 . The unbeliever splits, which would be a great tragedy.
Submission does not mean you must agree with the opinions of your husbands, even on things as fundamental and serious as the Christian faith. God has made you with a mind. You have to think. You are a person, not a body and not a machine. You’re a thinking being who is able to process whether the gospel is true. And if it’s true, you believe it. If he says, “You can’t believe that,” you humbly and submissively do not submit to that.
Now, maybe this is the same point, but it needs to be said this way, too. Any man who says, “I do the thinking in this family,” is sick and has a sick view of his authority. I dealt with a couple one time. The wife said he demanded that she get permission to go to the bathroom . That really happened. I just looked at him and said, “You’re not well. You have an unbelievably distorted view of this fellow heir of the grace of life. You don’t understand the Bible. You’re taking a word like ‘authority’ or ‘leadership’ or ‘submission,’ and then you’re stepping away from the Bible and filling those words up with stuff you want to do. You’re not getting this from the Bible.”
Submission never leaves the brain at the altar. All throughout the marriage, a husband is reckoning with an independent mental center that has thoughts that are worth listening to. It’s the working out of a one-flesh union. Leadership does not mean you do not listen. Leadership doesn’t even mean always getting the last word. Good leadership often says, “You were right; I was wrong.”
Leadership is taking initiative. Sometimes I say, “Who says, ‘Let’s . . . ,’” more often in your relationship?
“Let’s go out to eat.”
“Let’s try to get our finances in order.”
“Let’s get to church on time next Sunday.”
Who says it most often? If it’s the wife, you have a problem, and the problem is with the guy. If it’s the guy, she’s probably happy because she doesn’t want to be the one to say “let’s” over and over again. Wives don’t want to say “let’s” most often. In general — I know I’m generalizing — leadership means a bent toward initiative under which women thrive. Not dictation, never listening. Not even having the last word.
If you asked my wife, “What does submission look like for the Pipers?” one thing she would say is, “We settled the principle early that if we can’t agree, Johnny’s going to make the call.” That’s really basic. And it almost never happens. One of the reasons it almost never happens is that we’ve been together a long time, and we know what each other thinks. Another important reason is that I often yield to Noël. I don’t need to be right, or to have my way, or to have the last word.
Submission does not mean avoiding the effort to influence or change the husband. The whole point of the text is, “Win him.” Her life is devoted to changing this husband from an unbeliever to a believer. Can you imagine if somebody said submission means, “Stop trying to change your husband”? Well, I get what they might be saying. But if your husband is living in sin or your wife is living in sin or unbelief, you want them to change, and you wouldn’t be a loving person if you didn’t — if you stopped wanting that. That may sound insubordinate to some. It’s not, biblically.
Submission is not putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ. Christ is her Lord now, and for the Lord’s sake , she will submit to the husband, but he is not her Lord. Therefore, wherever she must choose between the two, she chooses Jesus. If her husband says, “Let’s get involved in a scam,” or “Let’s have group sex,” her choice is clear. I go with Jesus on this. She would say it not with a haughty or arrogant attitude, but rather with a winsome, submissive, longing one. He will be able to discern in her a longing that he not do that so that she could enjoy him as her leader. Do you feel that? “I will not follow your lead on this, and I am not following you with a demeanor that tells you I want to follow your leadership but cannot in this moment, in this way.”
Submission does not mean getting all of her spiritual strength through her husband. He’s not giving her any spiritual strength in this text and she’s got lots of it. Her hope is in God .
She’s probably going to church on Sunday morning before he gets up, getting her strength elsewhere, getting her worldview elsewhere.
I love the Scriptures. I’m a complementarian. I believe that men are called to a unique kind of leadership in marriage. I believe that women are called to a unique kind of submission in marriage. And I think it’s a beautiful thing — the way those two roles complement and serve one another. If we probe the depths and keep digging into the Scriptures, even though they’re written in another time, they will shape a marriage today into a beautiful thing.
Therefore, in light of everything I have said submission is not , I would define submission in marriage like this: Submission is the defined calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership, and so help to carry it through according to her gifts.
The clip above is from our Look at the Book event on 1 Peter 2–3 . Look at the Book is John Piper’s latest effort to help teach people to read the Bible for themselves. It’s an ongoing series of 8–12 minute videos in which the camera is on the text, not the teacher.

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sub·mis·sion

| \ səb-ˈmi-shən

\

1 a

: a legal agreement to submit to the decision of arbitrators

b

: an act of submitting something (as for consideration or inspection)

also

: something submitted (such as a manuscript)

2

: the condition of being submissive , humble, or compliant

3

: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

We cannot accept submissions longer than 2,000 words.

Over 5,000 submissions were received.

a religion that preaches submission to God's will

The prisoners were beaten into submission .

The decision to reform France’s Oscar commission stems from criticism over the submission of films that had premiered at Cannes but didn’t necessarily have the best chances of going far in the Oscar race and ultimately earning a nomination.

—

Naman Ramachandran, Variety , 29 July 2022

Staff turnover impacted the timely submission of the report, Harper said.

—

Will Langhorne, Arkansas Online , 24 July 2022

The circus started in the months before the trial commenced, when the Bannon team tried one stunt after the next to slow down the pace of the legal proceedings and the submission of documents.

—

Adele M. Stan, The New Republic , 21 July 2022

Applicants should note that program funding is limited, and submission of an application does not guarantee an award.

—

Hartford Courant , 14 July 2022

The submission said the pandemic has exacerbated the crisis by reducing access to treatment services and driving people to use drugs alone in perilous situations, while border closures have created a more unpredictable street supply.

—

Amanda Coletta, Washington Post , 31 May 2022

MLA
Chicago
APA
Merriam-Webster

sub·mis·sion

| \ səb-ˈmi-shən

\

1

: the act of putting forward something (as for consideration or comment)

2

: the condition of being humble or obedient

3

: the act of giving in to power or authority

sub·mis·sion

| \ səb-ˈmish-ən

\

: the condition of being submissive

sub·mis·sion

| \ səb-ˈmi-shən

\

1

: an agreement to submit a dispute to and abide by the decision of an arbitrator

an award falls within the general rule that acts of arbitrators must…be coextensive with the submission — Albert v. Goor , 218 P.2d 736 (1950)

2

: an act of submitting something

upon submission of a properly completed memorandum — J. H. Friedenthal et al.

also

: something submitted

3

: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

superficial
tetchy
flashy
gregarious

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