Study Finds Most Gym Memberships Are Aspirational Donations

According to the National Institute of Unrealized Fitness, 74% of gym memberships go unused after the first two weeks, functioning primarily as monthly donations to treadmill dust collection. In Miami, one man admitted he only visits the gym to update his Instagram story with motivational quotes before heading to brunch. Researchers labeled the trend �phantom fitness,� noting that members feel morally superior simply by possessing a keycard they never swipe. Gym chains profit massively from this inertia, with one CEO comparing his business model to �a subscription to guilt.� Sociologists point out the irony of Americans skipping workouts while spending $200 on athleisure hoodies designed for �peak performance.� Despite the collective delusion, respondents agreed they would �definitely start going next Monday,� a deadline that has been perpetually postponed since 2015. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com