Student First Sex
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Student First Sex
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In intimate detail, one woman describes the first time she *almost* had sex during her freshman year at NYU.
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and I knew that I wasn't ready to have one-night stand,
but I was also really horny all the time
and honestly, I would've slept with anyone
My sober self knew that I wasn't ready,
I wore a decidedly puritanical outfit
Like, just the like the ugliest bra you could think of.
We go to the party and I get drunk.
There was like, beer pong and people were shotgunning
and mixing all sorts of flavored vodkas.
I sort of loved it and hated it at the same time.
And I see this guy who's wearing a frat shirt,
and I was like, You, you're perfect.
I don't think we exchanged any words.
And at one point, he was like, Wait, pause,
on my friend Shula's dorm room wall.
to go back to his dorm room and hook up.
I do remember sort of panicking on the way there,
knowing that his expectations and mine were different
He took off my shirt, and the first thing he said
At this point I'm sobering up a little bit,
and I think, Am I gonna go through with this?
But I wanted to be polite, I didn't wanna offend him.
So I was just going with the strategy of distracting him.
So I was like, What kind of books do you like?
And he was like, I don't really read,
and kept pulling at my skirt, trying to get it off.
And I was like, Okay, but if you had to pick
just one book that you've read that you really liked.
And he was like, Okay, who's the guy
and certified academic asshole, was aghast.
and he kept kissing my neck and just littering my body
with all these horrible teenage-y hickeys,
And so I just went with the first thing
that popped in my head, I'm on my period,
It was like, Can you at least do anything?
And my closing line was, Not if you like Michael Crichton.
As I'm walking home, I have my shoes in my hand
and don't feel bad about offending a bro at a party
because you don't owe them anything.
Learn how to say no in whatever way you know how.
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As you mature, you may start thinking about having sex for the first time. In addition to this, you may be wondering how it feels, how to handle any anxiety that may accompany it, and how to be safe.
There are probably lots of things going through your mind if you are thinking about having sex for the first time. You may be wondering if your body will change or whether it will hurt. Read on to find answers to some of the questions you may have about first-time sex.
Your body will not display any telltale signs after you have sex for the first time. The only way anyone will know you’ve had sex is if you or somebody else tells them.
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While having sex, you might breathe heavily and sweat, and your skin could become flushed. These changes are caused by the physical nature of sex. During sex, your vulva may also become swollen due to increased blood flow. After sex, your body will go back to normal, just like it would after exercise.
Most women are born with a hymen, which is a membrane in the vagina that can stretch or tear during exercise, first-time sex, or other activities. During your first time having sex, your hymen might stretch , and you may experience some bleeding if it ruptures. However, bleeding doesn’t always occur during first-time sex. Many people have already inadvertently broken their hymen before they ever have sex. If you’re worried about bleeding , lying down on a dark-colored towel or cloth can prevent stains.
Much of the anxiety surrounding having sex for the first time is centered on whether it will hurt. If you relax, feel comfortable, and pay attention to your body, there probably won’t be any pain. What you might feel is a bit of discomfort because this experience is new to you.
If you do feel pain, it is more than likely caused by friction. Friction during penetrative sex occurs when there isn’t enough vaginal lubrication to ease the entry of something entering your vagina. Engaging in plenty of foreplay can stimulate the vagina to become more lubricated.
Using lubricant can make intercourse more comfortable and enjoyable.
When you and your partner are figuring out how to have sex for the first time, you might believe that it will be as magical as it is often depicted in the movies. However, it’s possible that your first time won’t be nearly as smooth or well choreographed.
For many people, their first time is an awkward and somewhat uncomfortable affair. On top of that, both of you might be nervous. Under circumstances like these, it can be difficult to achieve an orgasm . This is perfectly normal. In fact, sex without orgasm can be quite enjoyable and might be a good way for you and your partner to connect further.
There’s a myth in some societies that you can’t get pregnant when you have sex for the first time. This is false. If you have already started getting your period, you can get pregnant if you have sex.
If you don’t want to become pregnant, you should use a birth control method whenever you engage in sexual intercourse.
If you’re having sex for the first time, you may feel anxious. This is common and completely normal. There are lots of things you can do to deal with this anxiety.
Some studies show that you are more likely to have both psychological and physical satisfaction when you have sex with someone you trust and with whom you have a steady relationship. Being with someone you trust can help you feel safer and more in control of the situation.
If you want to have sex but feel anxious about it, plan to do it in a place you find comfortable. An unfamiliar or uncomfortable location could make it hard to focus on what’s going on and enjoy what’s happening.
Anxiety about the first time you have sex is pretty common. However, foreplay may help reduce your anxious feelings. Foreplay involves a lot of kissing and touching, which can help you feel more comfortable with your own body as well as your partner’s.
A lot of anxiety can come from trying to rush sex to get to the next step. You might find yourself thinking about what you should be doing and what you should do next. If so, take a moment to center yourself and focus on the present, letting things happen naturally.
Some people are in a hurry to achieve orgasm. Taking your time and enjoying the journey can make sex a more relaxed and enjoyable experience.
It’s very common to have a less-than-perfect first time. However, that doesn’t mean that sex will always be bad. Any number of things can contribute to an experience that doesn’t quite live up to your expectations.
You can always try again later when you are feeling more comfortable. However, you’re under no obligation to commit to a next time, either. The best time to have sex is when you’re sure you want it, not just when your partner wants you to.
If you’re considering having sex for the first time, you should be aware of ways to protect yourself from unsafe sex. Having unprotected sex can transmit infections. It can also cause unwanted pregnancy.
The risk of contracting infections is much higher if you don’t use protection when you have sex. Some sexually transmitted infections (STIs) include:
While some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotic medication, some are incurable and can have serious health implications. HIV has no cure, but there are medications that can suppress the virus almost completely. Left untreated, HIV can develop into AIDS, which has no cure. Using condoms when you engage in sexual intercourse will greatly reduce the risk of contracting an STI.
Unless you’re planning to have a baby, you should use contraceptive methods to reduce the likelihood of pregnancy.
You can opt for barrier methods such as condoms, diaphragms, or caps. These stop sperm from reaching the egg. Other methods, like the birth control pill , alter your hormones to ensure that an egg is not released. Only condoms protect against both pregnancy and STIs, but it's important to remember that no protection method is 100 percent effective.
If you’re puzzled by how to have sex for the first time, that’s a totally normal way to feel. It’s common to be anxious, but being with the right partner in a cozy place and taking things slowly can help. Be sure to practice safe sex to avoid unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
Higgins, Jenny A, et al. “Virginity Lost, Satisfaction Gained? Physiological and Psychological Sexual Satisfaction at Heterosexual Debut.” Journal of Sex Research, U.S. National Library of Medicine, July 2010, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3572537/. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “Sexually Transmitted Diseases | STD | Venereal Disease.” MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 May 2020, medlineplus.gov/sexuallytransmitteddiseases.html. “What Is Contraception?” NHS Choices, NHS, 2 Jan. 2019, www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/what-is-contraception/?tabname=getting-started. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. “Barrier Methods of Birth Control: Spermicide, Condom, Sponge, Diaphragm, and Cervical Cap.” ACOG, Mar. 2018, www.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Barrier-Methods-of-Birth-Control-Spermicide-Condom-Sponge-Diaphragm-and-Cervical-Cap?IsMobileSet=false. “Is Sex Painful the First Time?” NHS Choices, NHS, 28 Mar. 2018, www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/is-sex-painful-the-first-time/. Mishori, Ranit, et al. “The Little Tissue That Couldn’t - Dispelling Myths about the Hymen’s Role in Determining Sexual History and Assault.” Reproductive Health, BioMed Central, 3 June 2019, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6547601/.
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"Afterwards, I expected to feel more mature and more confident, but I really just felt the same as I always have."
Thanks to thee unrealistic standards constantly portrayed in media , we've all built up this imaginary idea of what sex is supposed to be like. Some people expect a romantic night of candles and passion, while others think it will be the most pleasure they've ever felt in their whole life . But the truth is, everyone's experience is different. Sometimes it's smooth and romantic and lives up to your expectations, while other times, it's kind of terrible.
But no matter how old you are or what the circumstances are, having sex for the first time can feel like a huge deal! So, to give you a better idea about what your first time may be like, we talked to 43 girls about the first time they had sex — how they knew they were ready, who they did it with, and how they felt afterward.
1. "He knew I was a virgin and for some reason, I had this expectation of it being magical, which in all honesty, it wasn't. He kept his face buried in my shoulder/neck the whole time and asked if I was okay once during, which I thought was kind of inconsiderate. I think I would have enjoyed it more if he had checked in with me to see if my needs were being met, which they weren't . At the time, I was blinded by my love, so I chose to look past that." — Hafeezah, 22
2. "It was not romantic at all. It was messy, drunk and horny. I was 17, drunk at a beach concert, called a guy that we had an on and off thing and we had sex in the back of his pickup car. Then, he went to study abroad and we never spoke about it , until like 2 years later." — Bianca, 23
3. "I was a sophomore in high school and at a Halloween party. I got pretty drunk and had sex with one of my childhood friends (on his birthday) in the basement of his house. Then, the next day, I found out one of my best friends also had sex for the first time that night . So to this day, she and I will text each other on October 30 to say happy anniversary." — Tory, 24
4. "We were 17 and we needed a time when our parents weren’t home, so we waited until Christmas Eve when his parents had left for a holiday party. I was so incredibly nervous — I think we both were. So we lit candles and took it slow . To be honest it hurt like hell. But other than that I think it was pretty perfect as far as virgins go." — Debby, 22
5. "It was after homecoming and we were just in his room. It all happened pretty naturally. It wasn't painful, but it honestly didn't feel like anything at all was happening . And then 1-2 minutes later it was over." — Jasmyne, 21
6. "I was 17 when I first had sex. I lost my virginity to someone I actually cared about, which doesn’t mean much to me looking back now, but it was important to me back then. It was late at night and we were in the backseat of his car . I was really nervous, but he was patient and managed to make me feel comfortable and sexy, even. I don’t regret anything and for that I’m thankful." — Jennifer, 22
7. "It was nothing like I imagined. I felt comfortable, but out of nowhere, I got really nervous . He told me to relax and that we didn't have to continue if I didn't want to, but I did. It was very painful to the point that I had to stop because I was in so much pain. I felt a little ashamed and embarrassed because I imaged something different and I thought he was disappointed in the experience. He was so understanding and he said it was fine and that he wanted me to be okay, and that we didn't have to continue. He made me feel better about the experience, and we are still together two and a half years later." — Katie, 24
8. "I wasn't "in love" or whatever, but I guess I never expected to be. He made me feel comfortable and respected, so one night, I went over and we had sex. It wasn't awkward or weird, and it wasn't this special magical moment either . We went to a din
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