Stripper Giving Lap Dance

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"For most of the guys, you are essentially a therapist in a thong."
Interested in getting a lapdance? We spoke to lapdance and stripper Ruby Winchester, who worked in a strip club in the US for four years. Here, Ruby reveals lapdance secrets and strip club confessions.
"I’ve been a dancer forever but when I was 18, I blew my right knee out which pretty much ended any professional career I'd ever have. Later on, I had my own dance studio but closed it down to move back home. There was no dance studio that would hire me , because they thought I was going to take their students. My best friend was like, 'Hey come on, we’re going to go to the pole studio,’ and I was like, ‘no we’re not’. We went and from day one I was hooked. Then my husband and I got into a position where we needed extra money and the pole studio was in the exact same parking lot as the strip club, so we thought 'why not?'"
"Brutal. The club I worked at had a day shift and a night shift. For the night shift, I would get there between 6.30pm and 7pm and work until 3am. We had to work at least four days a week. If you didn’t, you had to pay a fee to come back and dance ."
"I would try and have my hair done so when I got there, all I had to do was put my make up on – you want to look nice when you’re on the floor. I'd change out of my regular street clothes... you don’t want to walk into the club in a thong, get my heels on and then check in with the DJ.
"There were two poles on the main stage, and it would start off with one girl on each – you’d go from pole one to pole two, then go into this little tiny area where the bar was and you’d do your third set there. The girls were on rotation."
"Lap dances are where the big money is. They’re not cheap (around £20 per song), so you’d come down off the stage and walk around, I called it doing the rounds. I'd walk around the club, talk to a guy, flirt, initiate conversation so he'd want a private dance.
"Your stripper personality is not the same as your regular personality, and you'd always have to have that turned on. You’re flirty, it doesn’t matter if you’re married, you appear single otherwise you’re not going to get anything. You are their fantasy – you can normally get a feel for what they’re into as you’re talking to them. ‘I like women who are more dominant,' they might say, and then you turn it on... you become that."
"I always got my money upfront and I would do one lap dance for £20 or three lap dances for £45. We’d take them to the VIP room, it was really nice and kind of dark, there were couches. Mood lighting. You give them the lap dance and no sex is involved. The club I worked at, this was an open area and behind me across the room would be another girl giving a lap dance.
My signature move was that I’d flip upside down
"My signature move was that I’d flip upside down. I would always take my shoes off, walking around in 7 and a half inch platform stilettos for eight hours was horrible. As soon as we got back there, I’d take them off. I would open his legs up, put my hands down on the floor and do a handstand and up onto his lap".
"I have a very large chest, like a DD. So I would stay covered so guys would want to see what was beneath. I'd go topless on stage if it was a slower night and there weren’t many people in the club. But that’s how I made most of my money – by not going topless on stage and only during lap dances.
"In America, it depends what state you're in as to whether you can be fully nude."
"They don’t pay you hourly and you only work for tips. The kicker is you’re considered an independent contractor, so you’re renting your time on stage. The club has a fee you have to pay at the end of every night. That can range from £10 to £450 a night. And don’t forget to tip the DJ because if you don’t, you’re going to wind up dancing to an 8 minute song about ham sandwiches.
"I would make more than the other girls, not because I was better than them. I’m curvy and a size 14/16. The other girls were size zero. I would bring in anywhere between £300-£380 a night. Most of it was lap dance money."
"There was always a good mix of guys – the military guys and run of the mill dudes, you know, the guys that work construction. There was always that one creepy guy though, that nobody wanted to deal with. You could literally see us trying to avoid him.
"They’re the ones who always want to be touchy (if they touched us they'd be thrown out), who want your personal number, the ones who ask what you’re doing after work. I am going to McDonalds and getting me a hash brown, that’s what I’m doing."
"I never felt unsafe. But there were times where I would get uncomfortable. My first night, I was terrified. I was so scared I was shaking in my platforms. But my release is performing, so when I was up on the stage, I was golden."
"We absolutely had people trying to grab us and overstep the mark. My dad is a retired police officer, so growing up I was taught self defence. Once, this guy tried something, and he wound up on the floor with my heel on his neck. I was daring him to move, and the DJ was calling me to the stage because it was my set. The security officer walked in and was like, ‘are you ok?’ and I was like ‘I’m not the one you need to be asking.’
" I always am aware I may need to protect myself"
"The rape culture is nuts. I always am aware I may need to protect myself, because according to most people, women who wear short shorts are asking for it. Strippers are wearing less than that, but we’re not asking for it. All women should have their guard up around men regardless of the situation."
"Most women whose boyfriends go to a strip club freak out because they think they're being cheating on. But nothing is going in an orifice, and for most of the guys, you are essentially their therapist in a thong. They talk about what’s going on in their lives and what’s happening at home."
"There was a guy who was about 70 who used to come in, he was so cute and we all wondered why he was in an establishment like this. He would get lap dances from us, but we wouldn’t actually dance for him. His wife had passed away so all he wanted was communication. The first time he got me, I wanted to cry but couldn’t because I couldn’t mess up my eyeliner. I just wanted to hug him."
"Oh it made me feel sexy and my confidence level went through the roof. Money is flying because you’re confident and you exude that. The more confident you seem, the more money you get. Before, I was very shy."
"The drama. You don’t want to try and get caught up in the drama, because it’s a bunch of girls. There’s always, ‘oh well she’s taking my customer’. I watched one girl drag another through a dressing room. She broke out the pepper spray and we all got sprayed in the face trying to get her off. I had to go out there all swollen.
"You have no idea of the size of the blisters on your feet after being in those heels for so long. The next day you can barely walk."
"He came in once and he sat there at the bar with a beer. As soon as I was done with the set - obviously no one knew he was my husband - I walked up to him like he was a regular guy and went and gave him a lap dance. He gave me the money and was then like, ‘we’re getting dinner with this when you’re done’.
"One night, I came home exhausted, changed clothes, and we went and got food. When we got back home I was about to get in the shower and my husband is bursting out laughing. He’s like, ‘honey you’ve got dollar bills stuck to your butt’. He pays the light bill and says ‘I paid the bills with ass money’."
"Some people do, but we are not sex workers (not that there is anything wrong with sex work). We do not want your man. We might think he’s cute and might flirt with him, but that’s because we want his money."
"I don’t think so... you can always get a retail job. I have a stripper friend and she’s an ex college professor and has a PHD. She does it because she loves it and wants other females to feel that empowerment and embrace their sexuality. Women should really take control of who they are. To me, dancing is a feminist act."
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