Strap On

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Strap On
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Gabrielle Kassel and Korin Miller

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Gabrielle Kassel
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer.

Korin Miller
Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more.

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“Strap-on” may sound like the name of a knock-off fanny pack, but a strap-on is actually a harness and dildo combo-pack intended for penetrative play. Usually, strap-on harnesses secure the dildo in front of the wearer's genitals (like a make-shift penis).
Most commonly used for pegging play (that’s dildo-in-butt) and strap-on sex (that’s dildo-in-any-hole play), strap-ons are nearly as versatile as a sex pillow . Meaning: very! Strap-ons can also be used to simulate a blow job and more, says Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of Early to Bed , a pleasure product company in Chicago.
For the record, these experiences can be physically pleasurable for the wearer, too, because the base of the dildo can press against the labia, pubic mound, or clitoris with every thrust. Plus, there are dildos specifically for wearers who enjoy internal stimulation (like the Fun Factory ShareVibe), but more on that in a bit.
Generally speaking, strap-on kits are best for people who are new to the wonders of strap-on sex because they’re easier to purchase and less expensive than buying the dildo and harness separately.
Start by figuring out what style harness will make you feel sexiest, says Taylor Sparks, founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "There are jock style harnesses, which feature two or three straps and look like a jock-strap; underwear style, which look like underwear; and a two-hole style that can be used with two dildos or a penis and a dildo at the same time," she explains.
"Once you decide on a style, getting the fit right is most important," Sparks says. If the harness is too loose, you won’t be able to control your dildo, and you’ll end up feeling clumsy. "Be sure to check the recommendations on hip, waist, and thigh measurements," she advises.
Next, think about the size of the dildo that comes with the harness. "You don't want one that's too big or too small," says Deysach. If you’re buying your strap-on with a specific person(s) in mind, "think about how many fingers [they are] comfortable with inside their body and compare that to the size of the accompanying dildo." Otherwise, pick the dildo you’re most aesthetically drawn to. (Ideally, it will be around 1-inch thick and 5 to 6-inches long, which Deysach says is a good starter size.)
After a few go-rounds with your strap-on kit, Deysach says you might use the intel you’ve gathered to buy an individual harness and dildo that better suit your pleasure needs. That way, you can make sure the harness fits perfectly *and* select a dildo size that best stimulates the receiver's hotspots. Need some inspo to get started? Try these 25 expert-approved picks:
This best-selling set comes with small, medium, and large dildos, so you and your partner can work your way up as you go. Each dildo has a suction base to help it lock into place in the vegan leather harness. Worth noting: The harness pad has a soft, felt-lined back so you won’t chafe when things get going.
Graduated from beginner kits? Try this set, which features a 5-inch and 6.5-inch dildo and two corresponding O-rings to lock them in place. "It comes with two toys so the receiver can experience a smaller toy, then work their way up to something larger," says Deysach. "It also comes with a very adjustable, soft, and comfortable harness."
If you're looking for more versatility during sex, this strap-on which loops around your thigh (or anywhere you want really) is the way to go. The super-strong velcro keeps the harness in place and the neoprene material keeps you from chafing. Say, you've got a bad back or feel like your mobility's limited when a strap-on's hooked to your pelvis, this baby gives you range.
Want it so that both you and your partner get in on the action? This strap-on is double-ended, so you both can enjoy penetrative sex at the same time. It features bendable rabbit ears that can tease you both, too. Flip through eight vibration patterns and 12 speeds to find the feel that’s right for both of you.
Want to explore the world of strap-ons, but don’t actually want to strap one on? This double-ended dildo features a pony (that ball-lookin' thing) that'll slip into you while the dildo end goes in your partner. This way, without straps, buckles, and loops, you're still in control. The major bonus are the vibrations. Control the buzzing and speed with remote control.
This sizeable strap-on has a lifelike look and feel for a second-skin ride you’ll both enjoy. The seven-inch vibrating dildo delivers 10 speeds, pulses, and patterns for a huge range of options. You’ll get up to two hours of fun from one charge.
There’s no need to replace that dildo you already love. Just attach it to this strap-on harness for hands-free play. The harness comes with three O-rings (1.25, 1.75 and 2 inches) to tightly secure your favorite toy—or toys—in place. A hidden pocket lets you slip in a bullet vibe for added pleasure. A nice perk: You can toss the whole thing in the wash when you’re done.
This vibrating double-ended strap-on has all kinds of features to please you and your partner. You place the shorter dildo inside of you and enjoy the feel as you thrust away in your partner. A handy remote allows you to flip through three speeds and seven patterns for up to an hour on one charge. The vegan leather harness is easily adjustable for a just-right fit.
Inspired by Fifty Shades , this strap-on features a rippled silicone dildo for extra pleasure sensations. There’s space to put a vibrating bullet into the dildo or straight into the harness, depending on where you want the good vibes targeted. There’s also a padded front to the harness to keep you comfortable when things heat up.
Strap-on harnesses tend to have a pretty…intense look. But this one comes in the form of a crotchless lacy panty set that’s all kinds of sexy. It features a five-inch curved silicone dildo to target all the spots. There’s also a reinforced O-ring that can accommodate other dildo sizes.
Designed with first-time strap-on users in mind, this kit has a realistic-looking 6.5-inch dildo that’s not intimidating. It features a pronounced head and defined curve to hit your partner’s P- or G-spot. Want a little extra something for you in the mix? There’s a pocket that’s specially designed to hold your favorite bullet vibrator.
This dual harness is a little different from others. It features a vibrating plug for vaginal or anal play that’s built into the crotch of the harness, so you can easily slip it inside and keep it in place as things heat up. Meanwhile, your partner enjoys 6.5 inches of a veined dildo for intense action. Choose from three vibration speeds powered by a handy remote.
You and your partner can get equally into the action with this double-sided strap-on. It features two curved and rippled 7-inch shafts that meet in the middle for intimate action. An adjustable leg strap and harness allow you to strap the toy on before you start thrusting away. Both dildos are curved for P- and G-spot action.
Adjustable for waists 20 to 65 inches around, machine-washable, and sturdy, the SpareParts Hardwear Joque Harness is the best harness on the market. "The Joque is also made of a breathable spandex blend and has two pouches (one above and one below the O-ring) where you can tuck a waterproof bullet," says Sparks. The con: It doesn’t include a dildo, but it can fit a wide variety of your choosing. (P.S. These are the best dildos you can buy .)
Reviewers call this one an "awesome deal," and for $26, it's hard to disagree. Give this a go if you're feeling a little non-committal about your strap-on choice at the moment.
Hunting for a strap-on that’s butt-friendly? This one is it . "This strap-on is perfect for beginners," says Ashley Cobb , sex educator and Lovehoney sexpert. The harness is easy to put on, and the dildo has a realistic look and feel. At just 5 inches, it’s the perfect size for pegging, she adds.
"This harness has two holes, one for a penis and one for a dildo," says Sparks. (Dildo not included!) There is a pouch designed to cradle the wearer’s testicles, and the leg straps criss-cross over the perineum for added stimulation. It's great for erectile dysfunction because it allows the wearer to continue having sex even without an erection, she says. "It also allows couples to explore double-penetration" without bringing a third person into the bedroom.
A double-sided dildo, the Fun Factory ShareVibe is designed for those who enjoy a full feeling and G-spot stimulation.
How it works: The wearer inserts the smaller arm into their vagina, then uses their pelvic floor muscles to hold it inside while thrusting in and out of their partner with the longer, more phallic end.
While this product is marketed as a harness-free strap-on, holding onto the Fun Factory ShareVibe can be tiring AF on your pelvic floor muscles, "so you may opt to use it with a harness for more stability," says Sparks.
Trust, those wacky-looking ears can provide some serious pleasure. They're designed to massage the receiver's nerve-dense clitoris, says Sparks. Oh, and the dildo vibrates, too. Buzzy G-spot stimulation plus clitoral love? A recipe for a blended orgasm !
The lovechild of a G-spot vibrator and an strap-on, this Lovehoney creation is a vibrating dildo. (Technology!) "This vibrating dildo can stimulate nerves hidden way deep underneath the skin, releasing far more endorphins than other forms of touching, making it great for orgasm," says Cobb.
"Most who buy this kit are couples who are pegging for the first time," says Deysach. And for good reason: The dildo is made of medical-grade silicone, and it’s no bigger than your pointer finger. Plus, "the harness is soft and fits a pretty wide range of waist sizes," Deysach adds.
At 6 inches long and 1.75 inches thick, the dildo in this kit is for girth lovers and G-spot fans alike. Plus, the fabric harness is chafe-resistant and adjustable up to 67 inches!
With a 6-inch-long and 2-inch thick dildo, the Pegasus G-spot and P-spot harness set is similar to the Pegasus curved realistic harness. The big difference is that this dildo features a more curved tip, which allows the wearer to more directly pleasure the receiver's prostate or G-spot .
"This is fully adjustable for the perfect fit, and the dildo has seven curved inches that are optimal for providing G-spot pleasure," says Cobb. The kit also comes with three interchangeable O rings that allow you to switch out the dildo for a smaller or larger appendage, based on your partner’s preferences.
The wearer tucks this baby between the dildo and their body for "more comfort and joy with every thrust," explains Sparks. To hold it in place and keep it strapped to your body, you'll want to slip it into a harness.
Because this is cushioned with plushy silicon, it’s especially helpful for people with a bony pubic mount and tucked-away clitoris, or anyone who's tired of pelvic bruising they get from thrusting dildos into their partner.



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If you’re curious about strap-on sex, you might be nervous too—not because you think it’d be bad, but because you don’t know how to use a strap-on. I don’t blame you. Having sex with toys often isn’t as intuitive as using your own body, and a free-flying appendage where you’re not used to having one can feel especially unwieldy. The first time I used a strap-on with a partner, I was so self-conscious about my awkward technique that I didn’t try again for like a year.
Luckily, a learning curve is completely normal when it comes to using a strap-on. With practice, communication, and the right equipment, you can soon be thrusting and grinding like a pro. To help you feel more confident trying strap-on sex and upping your strap game, I asked sex
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