Stories To Make Me Horny
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Consider these your go-to hacks for when you need to orgasm, like, now.
Look, sometimes you just need to get horny fast. Especially when you don’t have hours to prime your body for a long, sensual masturbation session—like, say between work meetings or right before you have to jump on a Zoom call.
Your body’s literally just like: Hey, give me an orgasm now, and then we can get back to regular programming. And IMHO, your bod should never be denied of its wants—let those feel-good endorphins flow out, girl.
So if you don’t have time to commit to the full masturbating experience (see: oils, face masks, pages and pages of steamy novels, plus anything else in the name of clitoris self-care), it doesn’t mean you have to opt out of an orgasm. It just means time is quite literally of the essence. And you need horny hacks. Fast.
To help, we’ve consulted some experts on what you can do to, well, get the job done quickly. Trust, going from 0 to 100 doesn’t have to be any less fun or enjoyable than a full-on pampering session. There’s always a time and place for a quickie—and that time is now.
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You know the one. It's the song that makes you feel like a literal sexual goddess—whether while you're masturbating or dancing in the club. And, yeah, it definitely does all sorts of things to your horny radar. So, put it on and let your body move to the beat, suggests Sera Miles, CEO of Pep Love, a phone sex, sexting, and erotic emailing operation. Can't think of anything? Anything by The Weeknd, Cardi B, or Meg Thee Stallion should do.
You'll want to create a private file on your phone—whether via an app, the Notes tab, or a camera album—compiling a bunch of things that turn you on for moments like this. “Pop in your earbuds and listen to hot sounds while you scroll through words and pictures that do it for you,” suggests Miles. “Add to it whenever the urge organically arrives.”
Because, fun fact: They’re directly related to your libido. Sex and relationship coach Azaria Menezes suggests you do the following: eat some aphrodisiacs (like chocolate), set the mood in your room by adjusting the lighting according, turn on some music, swap your sheets to something sensual like silk, and spritz some perfume all over you that turns you on.
Yup, This Masturbation Playlist Will Help You O
“Focusing on your breath is the most direct way to get out of your head and into your body,” says Menezes. She suggests closing your eyes and breathing really deeply and slowly. Try different breathing patters—like, holding your breath in for three seconds before you exhale—and see what feels best.
Porn is great, and sometimes even love scenes on Netflix or TV can be even better. But by creating your own sexual fantasy in your mind, “the mental images will quickly get you where you want to be,” says licensed psychologist and certified neurotherapist Catherine Jackson, PsyD.
Use your loofah, sponge, washcloth, and or your fingers to turn yourself on. “You’re already soapy, wet, and slippery, so your fingers will glide over your most sensitive areas even better,” explains Kayla Lords, sexpert for JackandJillAdult.com. You don’t even have to masturbate just yet (although if you turn yourself on and can’t help it, you do you!), but just focus on touching yourself in a sensitive way. “Caress your neck, chest, nipples, thighs, and those small erogenous zones that get ignored when you masturbate,” suggests Lords.
Let’s Make Masturbating Better: Hop in the Shower
Take a few moments to lie down on in bed, close your eyes, and imagine a sexy, kinky, or erotic fantasy, suggests Lords. If you fall asleep and wind up having a sexy dream, awesome, if not, you’ve still taken the time to indulge yourself in some hot thoughts that can steam up your next self-pleasure session or lead you to a closer understanding of what you wanna try next in bed.
While some CBD arousal oils can compromise the integrity of latex barriers like condoms, if you’re by yourself simply trying to get turned on, you don’t have to worry about that, explains Megan Stubbs, sexologist. “Many people have reported heightened arousal, wetness, and orgasm intensity” from using CBD products, adds Stubbs. Try some out for yourself and see if it makes a difference.
“Sexting is a gift that keeps on giving,” explains Marion Chloe Theis, a French love coach. “It’s good in the moment AND you can always re-read through the hot messages you exchanged afterwards,” she explains. Sure, you might not actually be with the person you originally sexted, but the steamy fantasies are yours to relive as long as you like.
“There’s something special about the act of taking photos,” says Sadie Allison, PhD, and founder of GoLove CBD. Taking photos allows you to celebrate your body and simultaneously see yourself as the coveted object of desire you are, she adds.
Put on your favorite sexy silk nightgown, fancy lingerie, or go buff, and use your self-timer to take some hot photos of yourself just for your own use. Knowing they’re just for yourself can also make you less self-conscious about the whole thing and posing and contorting your body for your own gaze can make you feel hella hot and empowered.
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Look, don’t act like you don’t already know. It’s the middle of season 2, and Issa (Issa Rae) is stuck in a ferris wheel carousel at Coachella with Nathan (Kendrick Sampson) when the two realize they’re totally alone, and, well, let’s just say that things ensue.
What’s sexier than you? Literally nothing! Remind yourself how ~hot~ you are and turn yourself on, in the most au naturel way imaginable.
According to a very official(ish) Cosmo poll, most of you like lounging around in your lingerie when you’re alone anyway. Put on your laciest, strappiest, sexiest piece and the rest will come (literally).
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Sometimes just looking at new ways to get yourself off can be a horn-inducing activity on its own. Pro tip: The reviews are where all the really hot and juicy stuff is.
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Because, um, that’s when most of the naked grinding happens. You’re welcome.
St0p playing innocent and just do it. You know it works.
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People submit audio files of themselves masturbating and having sex, and you can do with that what you will. If nothing else, it’s totally bizarre and great. Also, you can listen to it on your headphones at work. No judgment.
Just let the music wash over you like liquid horniness.
Reddit has a bad reputation for being a cesspool of misogynistic garbage, but there are also a lot of nice, sex-friendly, and very sexy subreddits that are perfect fodder for getting horny in a matter of minutes.
Erika Lust is a total badass who makes feminist porn, aka porn in which women are the focus, and they actually look like they’re getting turned on and getting off. Some of her videos are subscription-based, but some are free as well. Highly recommend.
You’re already naked and you look super dope, plus there’s water. Use really great-smelling bath stuffs, put lotion on every single part of your body afterward, and just be with yourself. No texting, no distractions. Just sit with yourself in your awesome body and be present in it.
All the content on OMGyes, a scientist-backed site that delivers deep dives on female pleasure, is centered around teaching everyone more about orgasms. But if you thought science couldn’t be sexy, you thought wrong. Peruse OMGyes’s demonstration videos to learn more about your own bod and get horny while you’re at it.
Even if you feel like that’s not something you’d be into, sites like Kara’s Porn for Women, Nifty, and Alt.Sex.Stories let you use popular search terms to try and figure out what you might like. One of the search terms is “hunks,” so if you’re into hunks, you’re welcome.
Doesn’t even have to be anything particularly sexy. I’m not saying you should put on The Muppet Movie soundtrack, but it can be whatever you feel like at the moment. The more you move your body and feel really good about it, the easier it’ll be to want to move your body in, uh, other ways.
I know most people would say to look up photos of him shirtless, but I’m trying to get your mind working with your body here, and actually watching the way he moves and speaks can make it easier to imagine him doing other things. #ChrisEvans #ChrisEvansForever
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Функционирует при финансовой поддержке Федерального агентства по печати и массовым коммуникациям
Перечень фильмов, конечно, отнюдь не исчерпывающий, но семь картин действительно привлекли в своё время немало внимания смелым подходом к откровенным сценам, несмотря на то что иногда на экране демонстрировалось соитие дублёров.
"Нимфоманка" Ларса фон Триера (2013)
Фильм рассказывает историю эротических переживаний женщины от рождения до пятидесятилетия, которая подаётся от имени героини по имени Джо, поставившей себе диагноз "нимфомания". В фильме есть множество откровенных сцен. А режиссёр сообщал, что в его кинокартине покажут только реальный секс. В результате для исполнения сексуальных сцен были приглашены порноактёры.
"Отголоски прошлого" Пола Моррисона (2008)
Большинству из нас Роберт Паттинсон известен по роли Эдварда в культовой саге "Сумерки". Но мало кто знает, что задолго до того, как стать этим вампиром, он снялся в роли, где ему пришлось доставлять удовольствие самому себе. Это был испано-британский фильм "Отголоски прошлого".
В основе сюжета — история любви парня, девушки и ещё одной девушки, которые вместе постигают все радости секса. После разрыва с любимой главный герой всё чаще воспроизводит в памяти романтические моменты. И всё в реальности. Никаких дублёров, всё крупно и в 3D.
Драматический триллер, в центре сюжета которого история молодых Маркуса и Алекс. Началось всё, когда в одном из обычных подземных переходов кто-то изнасиловал молодую французскую девушку. Ровно через два часа в этот же день был убит один из посетителей популярного клуба. Фильм, конечно, ужасает сценами насилия и слишком выраженным реализмом происходящего на экране, но союз Моники Беллуччи и Венсана Касселя остаётся очень горячим. Особенно если учесть тот факт, что на момент съёмок они уже были в браке.
Тяжёлая история, разворачивающаяся вокруг несчастной пары, которая отчаянно пытается оправиться от трагической смерти своего сына. Кинолента начинается откровенной сценой страстного секса, снятой в фирменном стиле Ларса фон Триера и завершающейся падением ребёнка из окна. Эта смерть травмирует психику женщины. После чего муж увозит её в загородный дом, где они отдыхали прошлым летом, надеясь, что это поможет обоим. Кинокартину не раз называли эротическим хоррором и выделяли в отдельный жанр. В интимных сценах здесь не использовали дублёров.
Фильм рассказывает о правлении римского императора Калигулы, вошедшего в мировую историю кровожадным и жестоким правителем. Откровенные сексуальные сцены в картине появились благодаря его продюсеру Бобу Гуччионе. Он, как издатель порножурнала "Пентхаус", захотел добавить их без ведома режиссёра уже после того, как съёмка была завершена.
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Stories To Make Me Horny
