Stories Of Wives Being Gangbanged
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Stories Of Wives Being Gangbanged
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fiance had one time gang bang - what now?
She got drunk to do it. She didn't do it becase she was drunk.
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By
valuePackWeddingTakL, August 7, 2004 in Coping
Just found out my wife to be had sort of a gang bang while I was out of town working 2 months ago.
She had gone to a party that a mutual acquaintance was having. I wanted her to have something to do that night - because I was away for a few days and didn't want her to get too lonely, so I was totally in support of her going to this party. Plus, a "good friend" was to be there as well. What ended up happening that night I couldn't have imagined in my worst nightmares. Evidently she got too drunk and after most everyone had left - ended up sleeping with 3 guys - AT ONCE! To make matters worse one of them was a good friend of mine and another was a co-worker I must see everyday. I don't know who the third is.
Just found this out yesterday - not from my wife!! - and confronted her last night.
She in so many words confirmed what I had heard. But the main response I got out of her was "Just let it go", and "it was nothing... and over with."
No details, no apologies, just a "let's just move on from this topic" type of attitude. Boy, to think that I would bore her with a trivial topic as that of her cheating and having sex with 3 guys.
Anyway, where do I go from hear? My heart is breaking and I don't know how to get her to want to talk about it.
Or am I just not seeing this correctly and should just let it go?
disturbed, confused, heart broken, devastated, sick, and without a clue as to what to do about our wedding coming up in October THIS YEAR.
Her attitude suggests that will be something she will be intereseted in doing for a long time and doing so after you get married. You can be the swinger husband or not...if you aren't the swinger go another path and find someone else.
She wasn't raped. She wants you to let it go so that she can do it again. Wedding? I don't think so, cancel it. BUT that is just IMO ...I'm sure I'm wrong as many have told me on such matters, hehe.
I'm just wondering if this is a real post...as often I question the need to ask such a question in lieu of the situation. Hmm Ah well...typing is good finger exercise
Listen to dudesomewhere, because dudesomewhere usually knows exactly what he's talkin about.
I'm guessing that there are two reasons why you're here on this site asking for our input:
1) You're still too shocked to come to terms with her outrageous behavior; or,
2) You have serious issues with self esteem and will put up with any amount of crap she (and your so-called "friends") dish at you.
But since you asked, I'll tell you: drop her like a used rubber going into the garbage can.
I'd also confront your "friend" and let him know what the score is. Don't threaten him or anything, but just put him on notice that you know what's up and that you're not about to say so much as a word to that frog fart ever again.
Her "I don't care if you know" attitude suggests to me that she's going to do it again sometime, hell she's probably planning her next adventure right now. If I were you I'd 'let it go' alright. Let her go, full stop.
How can you even *think* of staying with her anyway? I mean drink is NO excuse and three guys!?
Imagine having a fiancé that slept with three guys at once, ugh, creepy. I'd put as much distance between me & her as is humanly possible, I thought my fiancé (whom I dropped like a hot rock!) cheating on me with one guy is bad enough but you got three....UGH! sick.
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.
Thank you all for your input and support on this.
I know it may seem like a no-brainier situation as far as "what to do," but I should add that she has never cheated on me at all in the past - as far as I know. So, its not like she planned this outlandish behavior prior to doing this. Our relationship seemed very good until yesterday!
Even after this happened, while I didn't know about it yet, she was being very thoughtful and engaged in the relationship. Obviously she is very embarrassed about the event - why she doesn't wish to talk about it more I believe.
This is really unfolding as a catastrophe the more I think about it. I'm embarrassed to go to work on Monday. God knows who else that we know have heard about it through the grape-vine.
Given that she is such a great partner day-to-day, aren't I just hurting myself more, and making things worse for me if I call off the wedding - and lose my future with her?
Should I consider giving her a break on this one and hope it was just a fluke, one time bad mistake?
As far as a swinger lifestyle, I don't believe she has any interest in that and I know I don't. so that is not an option.
I also think about what the wedding will be like. It kills me to think about us saying our vows and not knowing who at are wedding might have heard about this and so forth.
Thanks again for your helpful responses.
Given that she is such a great partner day-to-day, aren't I just hurting myself more, and making things worse for me if I call off the wedding - and lose my future with her?
Great partners don't get gang banged (by your friends and co-workers, no less) and ask you to just forget about it. You want to believe she's a great partner, but she simply isn't. These things don't just happen; it's not an accident. What happened is something that, over time, she allowed herself to accept as acceptable in her own mind. The good news for you is that you found this out BEFORE you got married.
Trust me, don't even think about giving this bimbo a second chance -- she blew it. Her choice, not yours.
Should I consider giving her a break on this one and hope it was just a fluke, one time bad mistake?
By doing that you're sending her the message that you'll put up with just about anything.
I don't know this for sure, but I suspect that there's more you're not telling us. I have a feeling that things aren't as rosey between you two as you would like to pretend that they are. Maybe she's kicked you around before but you didn't stand up for yourself, and it was only until now that you saw the writing on the wall.
I may be totally wrong here, but my guess is you've probably taken crap from her before and let it go. She may not have cheated on you quite like this, but she's given it to you all the same. Like I said, these things don't just happen (at least not usually).
I also think about what the wedding will be like. It kills me to think about us saying our vows and not knowing who at are wedding might have heard about this and so forth.
Here you are, worried not about whether or not she's faithful, but whether or not you've got any face left after she ripped it off of your neck.
Where's your pride? Where's your self-respect?
I completely agree with the other posts. You have no idea if this was the only time she has cheated on you. She didn't even care to tell you that she was gangbanged by 3 guys?! What kind of a great future wife is that?
Marriage has to be based on trust. How will you ever trust her again?
Anyway, where do I go from hear? My heart is breaking and I don't know how to get her to want to talk about it.
Or am I just not seeing this correctly and should just let it go?
From what I've read on the "Success stories thread" you have 3 X the reasons that posters there gave for going to councelling and ending up with a much better marriage, the institution that keeps on giving!
2. How long before you decided to marry?
3. How well do you know her? Do you know stuff about her because you know friends and family or do you just know what she tells you about herself?
IMHO , it's all about attitude. You say she wants you to forget about it because she's embarrassed. Is she? Is she mortified? Did she swear she'd never drink that much at a party again?
The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.
If it is repeated behaviour in the past, maybe. But people can make major boneheaded goofs, learn from them, and never do them again. This could be one of those situations, but without knowing more about the context, what she's like, how well you really know her, etc. it's hard to decide. If you've known her a few years, have left town before and nothing's happened, etc., in short if you have lots of reasons to trust her, then yes, this could just be one stupid mistake.
But you have to judge that based on what you know. Whatever, I'd postpone the wedding at minimum and maybe seek counselling. The salient question is will she ever do such a thing again and that's what you need to sort out in order to decide whether you'll ever marry her. We can't know her from just your description. A counsellor would be much better equipped to talk to her and then determine whether this is indeed an aberration.
At the very least, you must cancel the wedding. Whatever may happen between you two, don't even think about marrying this woman for at least a year, and preferably several.
The fact that, drunk or not, she would even consider something so far beyond the pale -- and that she would then expect you to get over it, apparently without an apology or a willingness to talk about it and acknowledge your very understandable pain -- means that, at minimum, she has serious problems setting
"acceptable behaviour" boundaries and sticking to them.
GETTING MARRIED WILL NOT FIX THIS. The fact that she did this means that there are massive, serious foundational flaws in what you and she have together. People who are happy in their relationships don't do what she did. If there is to be ANY hope of having a happy marriage, you have to work through all of this first, before you commit your life to this woman.
People do stupid things every day. But this is pretty f*cking bad, sorry to say. And apparently, she's without remorse and doesn't feel she's done anything wrong. Otherwise, she'd have apologized. And, bear in mind that you found out from somebody else. All of which says a lot about her character.
And, I agree with rogueless... the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Well...can you at least put off the wedding, to see how you feel in a few months? It almost sounded like she wanted one last wild thing before she got married.
It doesn't sound like she has much love to her soon to be husband, if she's doing crap like that behind his back.
I don't think this was just a "mistake". I could see it being a mistake if it happened with one guy, but with three??? That's just plain over the top. That's just "in your face". The b!tch has no respect for you whatsoever - I don't care if she was drunk.
1. She had a gang bang while you weren't looking.
2. She didn't feel guilty enough to tell you about it; you found out about it second-hand.
3. When confronted, she showed no contrition; she simply shrugged it off and told you to let it go.
I don't think it matters if you were with her 10 years, unless you're into that kind of thing it's only going to hurt you more down the road.
People use alcohol as an excuse to cheat or do really bizarre things (like this three way, Good Lord). She got drunk to do it. She didn't do it becase she was drunk. You will never trust her again and she has acted like trash. It would be one thing had she done it in the past when you weren't together but you were. She clearly has no regard for how you feel and a person who loves you wouldn't do this to you.
you really think she could have gotten drunk on purpose to do such a thing?
The issue of her motivation to drink is irrelevant. There are some things that we do drunk that we wouldn't do sober for sure...but there are some things that you don't do even when you're drunk.
This is not something one does on a whim. She has thought long and hard(fantasized) about doing something like this and saw maybe one last chance to get this out of her system. Where the h*ll was your friend whose house it was at? Should they have discouraged her or made sure that none of their guests were taken advantage of if they were serving alcohol to thier guests? She still crossed a BIG line in the sand. This is something you just CAN'T brush off casually. If she has ANY love & respect for you, she should be willing to do whatever it takes to make YOU comfortable with that fact that she blew it(not pun intended- well maybe a little pun sorry) and cheated on you and will never do ANYTHING REMOTELY like that again! Can someone make a mistake, repent, be heartly sorry and change? I thing so, but you need some answers from her that are clear evidence that that is the case. COUNSELLING is definitely in order IF you are to try and work past this. If she refuses counseling, then its over. Good luck, bud. Better to find out now than after the wedding so you are lucky in that respect.
I wouldn't even waste my time with counseling -- why spend time trying to get counseling with someone who couldn't even wait til you were married before cheating on you???
The way I see it, dating and engagement are a kind of test to make sure that you've found someone who's special; someone who beats all the rest. Simply put, she failed that test -- big time!
To go back to her is to send the message that you love her so much that you're willing to sacrifice your self-respect and pride. And I'm sorry, after only a year or two of dating, she hasn't earned that kind of self-sacrifice from you. Things might be different if you were 20 years into marriage and raising two kids, but you aren't there - and just be glad that you aren't. This is a warning sign if there ever was one that this boat is sailing in the wrong direction. Turn back now before it's too late.
you really think she could have gotten drunk on purpose to do such a thing?
Yes, I really do. Once when I was married years ago and things were really rocky, I was with a guy that was crazy about me. I got drunk and in my subconcious, I wanted to sleep with the guy. No matter how drunk I got, I knew what was going on in my own head and ultimately I couldn't. But that's because I still loved my husband and knew that I would regret it.
People have thoughts in their minds before they ever drink a drop. Drinking gives them permission to do what they wanted to do anyway.
IMHO there are forgivable indiscretions and unforgivable. If she ended up drunk in bed with one guy--maybe forgivable--but less so in that you were engaged (not just dating) but THREE!
And, I am surprised that no one has mentioned it but you said that even when you go tback she acted like things were fine--did you have sex? PLEASE GET CHECKED FOR STDs.
Trust is sacred and once it has been broken it takes a great deal of dedication and hard work to get back.
Which is why I can't even BELIEVE I am going to type this next part:
What is she were a guy? What if this had been his bachelor party? What if there had been girls? Would it be acceptable then?
I am just curious as to the rest of you though.
I am asking because a good friend of ours went to a bachelor party for a friend of his. I was shocked at the pictures that he brought back. (I only saw two and said, "No MORE! I don't want to see anything else.") The bad thing was when our friend and his wife had their baby I was sitting in the room with the now seemingly happily married couple, and found myself unable to make any eye contact with the groom what-so-ever.
Thats a shame that the women who is supposed to love you put you in grave danger of getting an std. Awww how nice...
I would dump her, she put your life, self esteem, trust, in danger. Doesn't sound like a good wife to be to me.
God forbid you have to go out of town again, may be 4 next time...
Okay I'm being sarcastic, but....get yourself tested just to be sure your poor excuse of a fiance didn't give you anything.
You DO need to get tested. UGH! Please do that soon.
It reminds me of that thing from health class where my teacher said when you have sex with someone you have sex with everyone that they have had sex with. Considering what she did...that is BEYOND scary.
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H ow many women out there have had a gangbang or want to have one, and why? Where do you want all the cum if you do want a gangbang?
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I 've had a couple of gangbangs and i'd say the best place for every bit of the cum to be is...ALL OVER! in my mouth, on my pussy, on my ass, IN my ass, on my tits...everywhere is good for me.
w ife says : myself would try to have one with not not more than three guys.Should have nice cocks and to be gentle with me.All the cum I want is in my pussy.
I have never had one but I want to soooo badly. It has always been a fantasy of mine. For me it is about fulfilling a basic feminine purpose to highest degree. It makes me feel absolutely feminine to dream about being filled by a big group of men, helpless to their erotic and physical desires. I would want the cum pumped inside my pussy, my ass, and wherever else it ended up.
v eryy sexxy christifox. i can round up some men and use you until we all soak u inside and out with warm cum.
B efore I was married I did a couple of gangbangs. I wanted to do it and they mostly cum in my pussy , ass, and all over my body.
A t 15 I let guys do it cause I thought thats what girls were supposed to. Never wanted and never liked it and now think it was rape though I did it. I will never do it now. It put me off guys for 10 years I coulnt stand thm even touching me. Now finally I like someone and want to get more involved with him.
W ell we don't call it that but rather "multiple men" or having an "evening" Yes informal going with the flow as well as formal planned evenings. Wh
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