Stories Of Lives Sex
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Stories Of Lives Sex
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Sandra_M/ittoilimatar/Anna Michiro/ Shutterstock. Ashley Britton/SheKnows.
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While it’s true that sex can absolutely get better with age , we never entirely outgrow those deeply awkward, uncomfortable and bumbling moments in intimacy just because we’ve gained a bit more experience. Add the complications of keeping your sex life exciting, healthy and fun as you grow together, start a family and deal with increasingly busy schedules and there’s plenty of room for more and more cringe to come beyond the awkward firsts.
Digging into the most prolific bastion of cringe and discomfort, Reddit , we found a few deeply uncomfortable sex stories that show just how persistent cringe-y, awkward sex moments can be throughout your lives.
“One time the wife and I are getting it on first thing in the morning. We are under the covers, and it’s a good thing, because my three-year-old son snuck into the room. We didn’t even notice until he quickly jumped onto the bed and jumps on my back. He looked over my shoulder at my wife and says ‘What are ya’ll doing?’ Well, that killed the mood real quick.”
“My husband works out of town. He is gone for two weeks and comes home for a week. He is definitely “ready to go” when he gets home. So the day he comes home we’re having middle of the day sex and he’s doing me doggy style. I have an ample ass so there is that wonderful slapping noise as he’s thrusting. My three-year-old who was down stairs comes up and starts knocking on our bedroom door.
She says ‘what’s going on in there? Mom are you ok? Is Dad hitting you?’ My husband kept going like a champ but I was laughing so hard. Super embarrassing. This is why we usually wait until the kids go to bed. Also my husband does not hit me. I don’t know where that came from in her mind.”
“He put his hand under my back to lift me up for a position change mid-through and he ended up popping out one of my ribs. To this day it is the worst pain I have ever experienced.”
“Two stories, both including my wife.
1: I had a heart attack while having sex with my (then girlfriend) wife for the very first time. She thought I finished in her and got extremely mad.
2: years later, she was on top of me while I was on my back and I said something stupid and she started laughing. She started laughing so hard she farted… while I was inside her… which made her laugh even harder and she peed all over me… makes for a funny memory.”
“He fingered my bellybutton. I can only assume he thought it was my clit, but how?
Edit: Yeah, yeah, it’s an erogenous zone for some people, but I’m pretty damn sure he thought it was my clit because when he finally touched my actual clit he was surprised. Yes, I communicated. No, he wasn’t even close to finishing me off or close enough to be able to try to.”
“We were having sex in the dark & I went to get on top but misjudged how close we were to the edge of the bed.
I ended up falling off the bed, dragging him down with me & onto some friends who were sleeping on the floor.”
A version of this story was published February 2020.
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Sandra_M/ittoilimatar/Anna Michiro/ Shutterstock. Ashley Britton/SheKnows.
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reddit
sex stories
sex stories IRL
More Stories from Health & Wellness
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While it’s true that sex can absolutely get better with age , we never entirely outgrow those deeply awkward, uncomfortable and bumbling moments in intimacy just because we’ve gained a bit more experience. Add the complications of keeping your sex life exciting, healthy and fun as you grow together, start a family and deal with increasingly busy schedules and there’s plenty of room for more and more cringe to come beyond the awkward firsts.
Digging into the most prolific bastion of cringe and discomfort, Reddit , we found a few deeply uncomfortable sex stories that show just how persistent cringe-y, awkward sex moments can be throughout your lives.
“One time the wife and I are getting it on first thing in the morning. We are under the covers, and it’s a good thing, because my three-year-old son snuck into the room. We didn’t even notice until he quickly jumped onto the bed and jumps on my back. He looked over my shoulder at my wife and says ‘What are ya’ll doing?’ Well, that killed the mood real quick.”
“My husband works out of town. He is gone for two weeks and comes home for a week. He is definitely “ready to go” when he gets home. So the day he comes home we’re having middle of the day sex and he’s doing me doggy style. I have an ample ass so there is that wonderful slapping noise as he’s thrusting. My three-year-old who was down stairs comes up and starts knocking on our bedroom door.
She says ‘what’s going on in there? Mom are you ok? Is Dad hitting you?’ My husband kept going like a champ but I was laughing so hard. Super embarrassing. This is why we usually wait until the kids go to bed. Also my husband does not hit me. I don’t know where that came from in her mind.”
“He put his hand under my back to lift me up for a position change mid-through and he ended up popping out one of my ribs. To this day it is the worst pain I have ever experienced.”
“Two stories, both including my wife.
1: I had a heart attack while having sex with my (then girlfriend) wife for the very first time. She thought I finished in her and got extremely mad.
2: years later, she was on top of me while I was on my back and I said something stupid and she started laughing. She started laughing so hard she farted… while I was inside her… which made her laugh even harder and she peed all over me… makes for a funny memory.”
“He fingered my bellybutton. I can only assume he thought it was my clit, but how?
Edit: Yeah, yeah, it’s an erogenous zone for some people, but I’m pretty damn sure he thought it was my clit because when he finally touched my actual clit he was surprised. Yes, I communicated. No, he wasn’t even close to finishing me off or close enough to be able to try to.”
“We were having sex in the dark & I went to get on top but misjudged how close we were to the edge of the bed.
I ended up falling off the bed, dragging him down with me & onto some friends who were sleeping on the floor.”
A version of this story was published February 2020.
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
By Isadora Baum Published: Mar 15, 2019
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"She stuck her finger up my butt and then licked it."
Most people can probably agree sex is pretty great—at least, until something gross and unexpected happens and totally kills the mood. If you look back, you can probably think of at least a few scenarios where something disgusting happened in bed—something that, if you weren't pants-less, would have you running for the door at lightning speed.
For your entertainment, and maybe to make you feel better about your own most recent icky encounter, here are the grossest things that have happened to guys during sex. Prepare yourself—they're pretty cringeworthy.
“To be fair, I know some people have foot fetishes and really like when they get foot massages and stuff—and yeah, I do like a foot massage—but licking and sucking on toes during sex is plain disgusting [to me]. This girl I was with starting inching downward along my body and I got excited thinking she’d make a stop elsewhere, if you know what I mean, and she went all the way to my feet and started sucking on each toe and stared at me with this really intense look. I softened real fast.” —Max
“We were in the middle of sex and he let out a huge, loud, smelly fart and it totally jolted me. I was like, 'Whoa, you really let that one go,' and this was the first time we were having sex also, and he told me that he wanted me to fart too because it ‘turned him on.’ Thank u, next.” —Melissa
“We were kissing and it was pretty good actually, and then he got aggressive with the tongue (which was still OK), but then he stopped, stared at me, and then licked from my chin to my forehead in one swoop of his big tongue. I almost gagged. And he tried to keep licking all over!” —Janet
“Right after we finished having sex, she jumped up and got nail clippers to then clip her toenails in bed right next to me.” —Greg
“He sneezed while we were having sex. He was on top, so [he] was like staring at me after, and had a huge thing of snot hanging from his nose—like, dangling. He kept having sex! I was like, 'Dude, get a tissue, that’s gross,' and he said he was too in the zone to care. Umm, yeah, I cared.” —Jessica
“First off, this was the first time a [girl] ever stuck her finger up my butt, and to be honest, it felt kind of good. I liked it. But then after she did that, she licked her finger. That was so [freaking] disgusting!” —Jack*
“We had anal sex and it was great until she pooped on me. She’s still my girlfriend and I love her and I know she didn’t mean to, but yeah, that was the grossest moment in sex history for me hands down.” —Alex*
“This girl I was dating was pretty adventurous and usually I was into it, but this one time she wanted to bring food into the bedroom, and while I figured it’d be like chocolate or whipped cream or something, she came back with some mayonnaise and rubbed it all over my dick. I like mayo on my sandwiches and those alone.” —Robert*
“One time when I was younger I was having pretty hard sex with this girl and she just all-out lost control of her bladder and peed all over me and my bed.” —Derek*
“One time this girl threw up ... [because] she was drunk. It was gross and I had to clean the mess up afterwards. We did not hookup again.” —Luke
“I was going down on this girl I was dating and she let out a huge fart. It was really gross because my face was like right there and it smelled real bad. She kept apologizing after, but that just made it more awkward.” —Chris*
*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.
Isadora Baum is a freelance writer, certified health coach, and author of 5-Minute Energy . She can't resist a good sample, a margarita, a new HIIT class, or an easy laugh. Learn more about her on her website: isadorabaum.com .
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