Stepmom Stepsister

Stepmom Stepsister
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On 6/13/22 at 6:15 PM EDT
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The internet has slammed a teen girl after a stepmother writes that she decides what she and her daughter can and can't do in a new viral post.
Published to Reddit 's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/outthewayrheo posed the question "AITA for taking my daughter to the restaurant my stepdaughter 'forbid' us from?" for the community to share their opinions if the was in the wrong. The post has 9,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she and her husband, "Jeff," both have a child from a previous marriage. He has "Alicia," who is 16 years old and she has "Morgan," who is 12 years old.
Children witnessing their parents getting divorced is very common. According to owenbylaw.com , 50 percent of children will watch their parents go through a separation.
The OP explains that Alicia has never been close to her or Morgan as she is always upset about something.
"For example, when me and Morgan moved in with her and Jeff, she tried to control where we can & can't go. What areas I was allowed to redecorate and put my furniture in, what room Morgan got etc. Her excuse was that she wanted to keep the house how her mom left it as much as possible. Jeff asked us to be more patient and she'd come around eventually," she wrote.
"She did come around, but still tries to control other areas of mine and Morgan's life. I had a million conversation that ended up with her throwing a tantrum. Jeff talked to her and told her to not try to control what Morgan and I do, ever. And she agreed," she continued.
For Morgan's birthday, the OP allowed her to choose the restaurant that she wanted to celebrate her big day. The OP agreed at they will host the party there. However, when Alicia was told about the restaurant of Morgan's choosing, she got upset, claiming they can't have her party there as it would hurt the memories she had of her "perfect old family."
The OP confirmed in an edit that Alicia's mother is alive and her stepdaughter sees her every week.
She says she felt her stepdaughter's thoughts were "illogical and unreasonable." She explained to Alicia that she could stay home and not attend the party. She argued that it's the thought of her father, the OP and Morgan there "as a family" when it used to be her, her mom and dad.
"Jeff told me to tell Morgan to just pick another restuarant but I snapped and told him Alicia had no right to dictate where me and my daughter go and he shouldn't be encouraging her. He told me he wasn't encouraging anything, just trying to keep all parties satisfied," she said.
Jeff told her that if she stuck with the restaurant for the party, he will not attend. Angry at her husband's words, she stuck with Morgan's restaurant of choice and she wasn't going to change it just because they wanted her to. The OP, Morgan and OP's mom went.
"Morgan of course felt upset her stepdad missed her birthday celebration. when I pointed this out to him, he argued that I literally gained nothing by insisting on this particular restaurant and upseting Alicia (who is refusing to speak to any of us even him) and ruined his relationship with Morgan. I said it was Morgan's choice but he said I was the adult in this situation and have failed to navigate through it," she concluded.
The Reddit community was quick to defend the OP in the comments.
"Tell your husband he needs to be an adult and a parent and not let a 16 year old run his life. That being said, is Alicia seeing a counselor at all? If not, it sounds like she could really benefit from some professional help. [Not the A**hole]," u/mdthomas received the top comment with over 15,000 upvotes.
U/Disobedientavocado1 wrote, "[Not the A**hole]- why does this hormonal 16 year old child have more say in your marriage than you do? This is absolutely ridiculous. Alicia needs to get into therapy, Jeff should join. I understand Alicia's feelings, but that does not give her the right to have that much control."
"[Not the A**hole]. Alicia is on a power trip and trying to exert control over you and Morgan. The idea that she should be able to dictate what restaurant you and Morgan go to on Morgan's birthday is laughable, to say the least," u/chapsteve711 explained, "You were right to not give in to Alicia; her demands would only escalate if you had."
"[Not the A**hole]. We do not negotiate with emotional terrorists," u/notherbastard exclaimed.
U/Trin_42 wrote, "[Not the A**hole], your husband is tho, for allowing his daughter to be a drama queen and dictator of your lives. You've already given her grace when you first moved in and your [significant other] still expects you to continue to let her be a tyrant towards you. Die on that hill honey, and good luck!"
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By Sarah Hosseini Published: Jul 7, 2016
She's 36, and I'm 31, and we met when I was in high school and she was 21.
Because of this age gap, my stepmom is like a mom and a best friend to me. But this complexity isn't a bad thing.
Sarah is an introverted urbanite hiding out in the suburbs, wondering where is everybody? But, secretly hoping no one comes out of their house to talk to her.

Work has published on Huffington Post, Bustle, Scary Mommy, BLUNTmoms, The Indie Chicks Magazine and many more. Sarah has been featured on Huffington Post's and Nick Mom's funniest tweets list.

Sarah lives in Atlanta-ish with her 2 girls and husband. You can find more of her work at MissguidedMama.com.
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How could my dad possibly be with someone THAT young?
My step-mother is five years older than me. She's 36, and I'm 31, and we met when I was in high school and she was 21. It's the stuff Hollywood movies are made of: The older man leaves his wife and finds happiness with a younger woman.
When my dad and mother initially divorced, he starting shacking up with a younger woman. They eventually broke up, but the same pattern repeated itself. My mother mostly rolled her eyes at my father's interest in younger women. She'd make snide remarks and jabs. Even jokes.
My sister and I were too young to understand the complexity of this dynamic. We just knew his young girlfriends would drive us to the mall when we wanted, let us use their makeup or borrow their clothes and occasionally let us have an underage sip of their alcohol. They were cool. Cooler than our mom.
And when my dad met my now stepmom, the reactions continued. My sister blasted my dad's new woman with every name in the book: Whore, gold-digger – you name it. She'd make her disdain for my stepmom very apparent. This is not something my sister is particularly proud of, and she's since apologized. Thankfully, we can all – even my stepmom – joke about my sister's cruel words now.
At the time, I also mostly ignored her presence thinking, how could my dad possibly last with someone THAT young?
The age – and his dating antics – would make my mother crazy. She often grew frustrated with the girlfriends-of-the-moment. With my dad. The immaturity of the whole situation. Most of these women didn't know how to act like adults, let alone respectfully navigate a relationship with a man that had kids and an ex wife. None of them knew how to handle the divorce, the demands of the ex-wife and the kids – until my stepmom came along.
To an outsider, my stepmom is the trophy my dad supposedly needs to feel like he's still got "it." People will comment that she looks like my dad's daughter. (Seriously, people have mistaken her for my dad's kid). And people always look baffled when I tell them my stepmom is five years older than me.
They'll ask, are you okay with that?
And I am, because the difference between these concocted Hollywood dramas is that I actually get along with my stepmom and so does my mom. Sure, it wasn't always this lovey-dovey, stepmom-bio-mom Kumbaya. My mom was pretty indifferent towards my stepmom in the beginning. Not out of hate or jealousy. We just all thought it possibly couldn't last between my dad and this young, attractive woman. Not in a million years. But after a few years, it was clear that she was part of our family. And she wasn't going anywhere. Today, it's been 15 years.
It wasn't until I was an adult living on my own that I started to truly appreciate my stepmom and her presence in our lives. My stepmom is "Aunt Nikki" to my kids. I can't possibly wrap my head around them calling her "Grandma" since she's so young, but she spoils them all the same.
Because of this age gap, the relationship I have with my stepmom is complex. No doubt. How could it not be? We're practically peers and we're both in our thirties. My stepmom is like a mom and a best friend to me. But this complexity isn't a bad thing.
Our whole family works because my mother and stepmother are completely secure in their roles. Within their separate identities they are a united front. Their main goal has always been to be a support system for me and my sister. I never feel like I have conflicting loyalties to one or the other because neither woman has ever made me feel like there's a competition. It is understood that the biological tug I have with my mother is a bond that can't be threatened or broken by anyone.
My mother, sister and I all think the same way when it comes to my stepmom and our dad. Our joking mantra: thank god someone can stand him.
Marriage and family looks different for everyone. Our biological and blended bonds transcend the past, and our connections to one another rise above all else.
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Published November 21, 2019 5:11am EST
Dom Calicchio is a Senior Editor at FoxNews.com. Reach him at dom.calicchio@foxnews.com. Follow him on Twitter @DomCalicchioFOX

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A woman in Utah is facing criminal charges that could force her to register as a sex offender after allegedly being seen topless by her stepchildren inside her own home.
Tilli Buchanan, 28, was working with her husband in their garage in late 2017 or early 2018 when they both removed their shirts to prevent dust from getting on them, The Associated Press reported.
The children, ages 9 and 13, saw the couple both topless — and when their birth mother later heard about the incident, she mentioned it to child welfare officials because she was “alarmed,” the report said.
The stepmother was charged in February with three counts of misdemeanor lewdness involving a child. The husband faces no charges.
If convicted, the woman could be forced to register as a sex offender for 10 years.
“If we lose this, she’s on the sex offender registry with child rapists and things of that nature,” Buchanan’s lawyer, Randy Richards, told the Salt Lake Tribune. “The magnitude of the penalty on this is enormous.”
“If we lose this, she’s on the sex offender registry with child rapists and things of that nature. The magnitude of the penalty on this is enormous.”
After a court hearing in Salt Lake City, Buchanan spoke out against what she views as a double standard regarding topless men and women.
“It was in the privacy of my own home. My husband was right next to me in the same exact manner that I was, and he’s not being prosecuted,” she said.
But prosecutors in West Valley City argued Buchanan was “under the influence of alcohol” when she removed her shirt and made a comment that she would put it back on only if her husband exposed himself, the Tribune reported .
Several states around the U.S. have been engaged in debates over whether women should be allowed to be topless in public. A group called Free the Nipple has had mixed success in fighting on behalf of women who want to be treated the same as men on the issue.
The judge expects to reach a decision in about two months, the Tribune reported.
The Associated Press contributed to this story.
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