Stepmom Son Mature

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How could my dad possibly be with someone THAT young?
My step-mother is five years older than me. She's 36, and I'm 31, and we met when I was in high school and she was 21. It's the stuff Hollywood movies are made of: The older man leaves his wife and finds happiness with a younger woman.
When my dad and mother initially divorced, he starting shacking up with a younger woman. They eventually broke up, but the same pattern repeated itself. My mother mostly rolled her eyes at my father's interest in younger women. She'd make snide remarks and jabs. Even jokes.
My sister and I were too young to understand the complexity of this dynamic. We just knew his young girlfriends would drive us to the mall when we wanted, let us use their makeup or borrow their clothes and occasionally let us have an underage sip of their alcohol. They were cool. Cooler than our mom.
She's 36, and I'm 31, and we met when I was in high school and she was 21.
And when my dad met my now stepmom, the reactions continued. My sister blasted my dad's new woman with every name in the book: Whore, gold-digger – you name it. She'd make her disdain for my stepmom very apparent. This is not something my sister is particularly proud of, and she's since apologized. Thankfully, we can all – even my stepmom – joke about my sister's cruel words now.
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At the time, I also mostly ignored her presence thinking, how could my dad possibly last with someone THAT young?
The age – and his dating antics – would make my mother crazy. She often grew frustrated with the girlfriends-of-the-moment. With my dad. The immaturity of the whole situation. Most of these women didn't know how to act like adults, let alone respectfully navigate a relationship with a man that had kids and an ex wife. None of them knew how to handle the divorce, the demands of the ex-wife and the kids – until my stepmom came along.
To an outsider, my stepmom is the trophy my dad supposedly needs to feel like he's still got "it." People will comment that she looks like my dad's daughter. (Seriously, people have mistaken her for my dad's kid). And people always look baffled when I tell them my stepmom is five years older than me.
They'll ask, are you okay with that?
And I am, because the difference between these concocted Hollywood dramas is that I actually get along with my stepmom and so does my mom. Sure, it wasn't always this lovey-dovey, stepmom-bio-mom Kumbaya. My mom was pretty indifferent towards my stepmom in the beginning. Not out of hate or jealousy. We just all thought it possibly couldn't last between my dad and this young, attractive woman. Not in a million years. But after a few years, it was clear that she was part of our family. And she wasn't going anywhere. Today, it's been 15 years.
It wasn't until I was an adult living on my own that I started to truly appreciate my stepmom and her presence in our lives. My stepmom is "Aunt Nikki" to my kids. I can't possibly wrap my head around them calling her "Grandma" since she's so young, but she spoils them all the same.
Because of this age gap, my stepmom is like a mom and a best friend to me. But this complexity isn't a bad thing.
Because of this age gap, the relationship I have with my stepmom is complex. No doubt. How could it not be? We're practically peers and we're both in our thirties. My stepmom is like a mom and a best friend to me. But this complexity isn't a bad thing.
Our whole family works because my mother and stepmother are completely secure in their roles. Within their separate identities they are a united front. Their main goal has always been to be a support system for me and my sister. I never feel like I have conflicting loyalties to one or the other because neither woman has ever made me feel like there's a competition. It is understood that the biological tug I have with my mother is a bond that can't be threatened or broken by anyone.
My mother, sister and I all think the same way when it comes to my stepmom and our dad. Our joking mantra: thank god someone can stand him.
Marriage and family looks different for everyone. Our biological and blended bonds transcend the past, and our connections to one another rise above all else.
Sarah Hosseini Sarah is an introverted urbanite hiding out in the suburbs, wondering where is everybody?
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Stepmom Son Mature