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'Are you serious?' A man has revealed how a bizarre pre-wedding family tradition has lead to tension in his relationship.
Amy Sinclair / Lifestyle / Updated 24.05.2021
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A husband-to-be has shared his disbelief after his fiancée asked him to spend a night in a hotel with her mother.
The man said his partner told him of the bizarre “family marriage tradition” to enjoy a romantic night with her mum in the lead-up to their wedding.
He said he was expected to buy his future mother-in-law a dress for their “date night” as well as something to sleep in.
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The fiancé would then be expected to take his wife-to-be’s mother out for an all-expenses-paid restaurant dinner before taking her back to a hotel for the night.
While he wasn’t expected to be intimate with his fiancee’s mum, she unbelievably told him she wouldn’t be upset if he was.
Sharing his story, the man said he initially thought his fiancee’s request was a joke.
But he soon learnt she was deadly serious.
“My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years and engaged for one,” the man said in a Reddit post.
“Not too long after we had been dating she told me about her family tradition for marriages.
“She said that the boy must take the mother of the bride out on a date night, buy her a dress and something to sleep in, pay for everything and buy them a hotel [night] to stay in.
“She said that it’s nothing to be worried or freaked out about and that getting the hotel doesn’t mean you have to sleep together (although a long time ago it did).
“I laughed a little bit and asked if she was serious. She said that she was.
“I had a hard time believing it but I didn’t care to discuss it anymore.
“We never really talked about it, until this past week. I had honestly pretty much forgot (sic) about it.
“My girlfriend and I have our wedding in less than a month.
“We were talking about wedding stuff and she asked me if I had picked out what her mum and I were going to do for our date night.
“I laughed it off and waited for her to move on. She didn’t, she looked confused as to why I was laughing.
“She insisted again that this was 100 per cent serious and that she expected me to do it.
“I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with doing that. I didn’t want to spend a night alone in a hotel with someone who wasn’t my girlfriend or wife.”
While insisting that he share a hotel bed with her mother, the fiancée explained how the disturbing tradition came about.
“I asked her why we would have to get a hotel,” he said.
“She explained that a long time ago the mother of the bride would actually sleep with the boy and that it was viewed as a way to kick off the marriage.
“I asked if she expected me to do that. She laughed and said of course not, but that she couldn’t be upset with me if it did happen.
“She then said that her mother doesn’t plan to actually do anything sexual.
“My girlfriend got more upset and asked me why I was refusing to follow a fun tradition.
“She said that I’m acting like a stubborn kid and that I should just have fun. I insisted that I wouldn’t do the hotel part.”
Since then, the man said relations have been tense with his future wife.
“She left and went on to tell her family,” he said.
“They have all reached out to me and asked me what is wrong with me and why I’m being such a jerk about it.
“The mum called me and she actually was nice about it.
“She said that she thinks I’m a great guy and that while she would love to have a night together, she understands that I have a right to say no.
“Nonetheless my girlfriend is still upset with me.”
Social media users were blown away by the man’s story, with all agreeing he has the right to say no.
“That sounds incredibly uncomfortable, and I would definitely be upset if my partner’s family expected me to do that,” said one.
Adde another: “The fact that she wouldn’t be upset if he slept with her mum. Just ... yikes.”
By Chloe Cawood / Pregnancy & Births
By Chloe Cawood / Pregnancy & Births
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'I can't accept it': A mum has revealed her heartbreak and disgust after making the shocking discovery.
Amy Sinclair / Lifestyle / Updated 18.10.2020
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Warning: Content in this story may distress some readers
A mum has revealed her heartbreak after discovering that two of her children are in a relationship together.
The mother said she was shocked to learn her son and step-daughter - who’ve been living together as a family since they were toddlers - had formed a romantic bond.
For more Lifestyle related news and videos check out Lifestyle >>
Sharing on Reddit, she said she refuses to accept their relationship and says it makes her “sick and angry”.
“When my son Nathan was two, he met a friend in his daycare class, who we’ll call Abby,” she said.
“Her dad, Jack, was one of the only other single parents there, as his wife had left after Abby was born.
“Jack and I bonded over our children and ended up dating for a year and a half before getting married, and we had our daughter Eliza less than a year later.
“Jack and I always raised all three of our children the same, and though they knew that Nathan had a different dad and Abby had a different mum, we had never thought to question if they saw each other as siblings.”
The mum went on to say that her life was tipped upside down last week when Nathan and Abby admitted they’d been in a romantic relationship for the past few years.
“She said that it happened after they were both adults, that they had gone to relationship counselling when it first started and that they were seriously thinking about marriage,” she said.
“Nathan then told us that they had admitted to having feelings for each other as teenagers, but had never acted on it because they were afraid of ruining their friendship, hurting each other, and most of all what we would think.
“At this point, Jack looked at me, grabbed my hand and hugged our children.
“He told them that he was sorry for us keeping them apart and that he ‘could tell how happy they are together’.
Since Nathan and Abby confessed their love, the mum said she’s struggled to cope.
“I haven’t responded to any of their messages or calls, and pretended I wasn’t home when they tried to visit during the day,” she said.
“I’ve been fighting with Jack since this happened, even so far as telling him ... they would never have my blessing, and I would put them both in therapy for having incestuous desires.
“This really upset him, and the fighting got so bad that I had him sleep in the guest house.
“I’ve never gone this long without talking to my children. I’ve never fought my husband. He’s even threatened me with divorce.
“I have no idea how to navigate this, and every time I think about it their whole relationship just makes me sick and angry.”
Many Reddit users sympathised with the mum’s reaction.
“Nathan and Abby were raised as siblings since they were toddlers and share a sibling not much younger than them,” said one.
“This isn’t a case of you and Jack meeting when your children were all grown, or possibly a much younger sibling they didn’t see much or even living in different houses throughout their childhoods.
“They were raised as brother and sister, and while they don’t share blood, they do have a sister together.
“I think your reaction is completely normal and justified.”
Added another: “It doesn’t matter if they technically don’t share blood.
“They were raised together as siblings since they were three years old, which is about as far back as any of us can remember. This is messed up.”
But others believed there was nothing wrong with the siblings dating, given they’re not related by blood.
“They are adults and it sounds like they took the correct steps before starting a relationship,” said another.
“Perhaps, you should consider therapy to work through your issues with their relationship.
“After all, they aren’t biologically related so this isn’t incest.
“You can’t force them to feel like siblings just because they grew up together.”
By Chloe Cawood / Pregnancy & Births
By Chloe Cawood / Pregnancy & Births
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