Squirting While Having Sex
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Squirting While Having Sex
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
Ro White
Ro White is a Chicago-based writer, sex educator, and Autostraddle’s Sex & Dating Editor.
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There are certain sex acts that have developed a sort of cult following, and squirting is one of them. There’s something undeniably arousing about a person with a vulva being able to expel fluids just like a person with a penis. And while squirting doesn’t always happen during orgasm, some vulva-owners enjoy the sensation as well as its visual fanfare.
“I love the powerful release, as well as the sheer display of it,” says porn performer Jiz Lee , who contributed a section on squirting to the book Girl Sex 101 .
There's a lot of misinformation out there about squirting, says Lola Jean , a sex educator and self-proclaimed “ Olympic Squirter .” “Given it is a heavily under-researched topic and misunderstood act, this is not surprising.”
If you’re wondering how to make a person with a vulva squirt, we’ll get to that, but first, let’s answer some common questions about squirting.
Mainstream porn has led some viewers to believe that squirting is a lot more common than it actually is—in reality, some vulva-owners don’t squirt.
“Some people squirt once or with orgasm, some repeatedly, and some not at all,” Lee says. Still, the majority of vulva-owners report having some squirting ability. A 2017 study found that 69% of vulva-owners between the ages of 18 and 39 have experienced ejaculation during orgasm.
When some people with a vulva are sufficiently aroused, they're able to "squirt" a clear-ish liquid through their urethra—kinda like how people with a penis are able to ejaculate, except in this case, the process has nothing to do with reproduction.
Squirting fluid can come out in a variety of volumes. “Ejaculation might appear as fluid that expels in a squirt, gush, or just a drip,” Lee says. “It can be a huge flood soaking the sheets or just a small puddle or butt print found after sex.”
According to a 2013 study , the amount of ejaculate vulva-owners release through squirting can range from 0.3ml to more than 150 mL. Some bodies just squirt more than others, and hydration levels can impact the amount of ejaculate, too. “It doesn’t mean you did a better job if there was more fluid,” Jean says.
Nope! “It's understandable that people might think it's urine, since it comes from the same hole,” Lee says. “While it's true that people can urinate during sex, [ejaculate] is a different fluid with a different chemical make-up.”
The exact makeup of this fluid has long been a subject of debate, but here’s the latest according to a 2021 literature review : anatomical studies have shown that squirt originates in the Skene’s glands and includes prostate specific antigen (PSA), which is typically found in prostate fluid. We also know that ejaculate differs from urine in its creatinine and urea concentrations.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what squirt is—for many people with a vulva, squirting feels good, so let’s focus on the pleasure-giving part of this magical bodily process.
Almost. Before you and your partner get down to business, ask yourself: Who is this for?
“Squirting isn’t always accompanied by an orgasm, and not everyone finds it pleasurable,” Jean says. A 2021 study of 28 squirters found that some participants felt ashamed of their bodies’ natural pleasure response or found the sensation to be unpleasant, while others considered their squirting ability a “superpower.”
Do you want your partner to squirt for their sake, since you want them to have the most pleasurable sexual experience possible? Or do you want them to squirt for your ego? If it’s the latter, then you and your partner shouldn’t attempt squirting. Ask your partner if squirting is something they’d like to try. If squirting doesn’t appeal to them, stick with other sexual activities you’ll both enjoy.
First, prepare your bodies. Make sure your partner is well-hydrated. Since you’ll probably be using your fingers, you should wash your hands and make sure your nails are trimmed and filed to avoid causing cuts or abrasions.
Next, prepare your space. Squirting can get pretty wet, and if you or your partner are worried about making a mess, you probably won’t enjoy yourselves. “Lay down a large towel, a mattress protector, or a sex blanket like the kind Liberator makes to make clean-up easy and lessen concerns about 'wetting' the bed,” Lee says.
That said, if your partner has never squirted before, anticipating a waterfall might feel like a lot of pressure. Talk to your partner about what would feel best to them. If they’d rather not lay down a towel, that’s fine—you can always wash your bedding after sex if you need to. Of course, if your partner knows they can gush like Old Faithful, they might be willing (and eager!) to use some form of mattress protection.
Squirting should be about the journey; not the destination. “ Any time you approach sex with a goal, there's potential pressure placed on the act that can create potential frustration and dissapointment,” Lee says. “Put that whole concept of a goal in the trash bin and set out with simply the possibility to include something new and exciting.” Remember that even if your partner doesn’t squirt during your first (or tenth) attempt, at least you both had fun trying!
Turning your partner on will prime their body for squirting. “Arousal will not only engorge the perennial sponge and the urethral sponge making then more receptive to touch, but it will also help build up fluids in the Bartholin's glands (largely responsible for vaginal lubrication) and paraurethral glands (largely responsible for urethral lubrication),” Jean explains.
There’s no universal way to get a partner in the mood, so if you’re not already familiar with your partner’s turn-on’s, ask them what they’re craving. They might be into kissing , dirty talk , digital clitoral stimulation , oral sex , nipple play , role play , porn, sex toys , spanking , or something else entirely.
Every person is different when it comes to squirting. Some people need firm G-spot stimulation . Others need soft clitoral circling. Some vulva-owners can even squirt without any direct stimulation to their vulva. Because of this, there are various techniques you can try. You can and should explore various methods with your partner, and remember: communication is key. “Listen to verbal and non-verbal physical cues for how much pressure to apply, how fast of movement to make, whether to add kissing or clitoral stimulation, etc.” Lee says.
One popular technique involves a combination of clitoral and G-spot stimulation using your fingers or sex toys . “While people can squirt from penile penetration, it's far more likely to happen with hands or curved sex toys,” Lee explains. “ Njoy's Pure Wand is a favorite; its C-shaped curve makes it easy to hold and pinpoint good pressure.”
You may think that in order to get your partner to squirt, you need to aggressively thrust with your hand and deliver the most pressure possible. This is not always the case. “Everyone’s body is different, and while many enjoy a full spectrum of intensity, these are highly sensitive parts of the body, so they may not want you jackhammering away at these nerve-packed zones,” Jean says.
“Once you hear the ‘splash splash’ sound—meaning your partner is really wet—I am telling you now that your partner is capable of squirting; they just have to figure out how to get it out of their body,” Jean says. For some vulva-owners, that means pushing out using their pelvic floor muscles.
Often, vulva-owners report that they feel like they need to pee right before they squirt, which makes sense, considering squirt does come out of the urethra. This discourages some people from squirting because they fear they’re just to pee. Knowing this is a common sensation can help your partner relax and push through the confusing “peeing” feeling.
Once your partner signals that they’re about to start squirting, stick with external stimulation. “Be aware that toys or hands may block the urethral opening at that important moment of fluid expulsion, so be prepared to move them aside when it's time,” Lee says. “Some people will ask partners to pull out just before they gush.”
You may attempt everything, and your partner doesn’t squirt. This is completely fine and doesn’t mean either of you did anything wrong. You can always try again if your partner wants to (and you both had a good time, didn’t you?). And whether or not your partner squirts, remember the importance of aftercare !
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No, there’s nothing wrong with you! Changes in the way your body acts can often be confusing or concerning, but from the way you’ve described things, I don’t believe you have anything to worry about. In fact, this could even be a change that you come to appreciate. That’s because it sounds like you’re having what’s called a ‘squirting orgasm,’ the involuntary expulsion of a substantial amount of urine during sexual activity1.
You’re already familiar with the natural lubrication that occurs with sexual activity, but this is something different. There’s also a type of incontinence associated with sex called urine leakage disorder or coital incontinence, but it doesn’t sound like that matches your description, either. There are, however, two other less common phenomena that could fit the bill: female ejaculation and squirting.
With female ejaculation, a small amount of fluid is secreted by the female prostate, while with squirting, fluid is released from the urinary bladder through the urethra. This fluid may either be identical to urine or a diluted form of it2, though there may also be a small amount of a prostate secretion called PSA, too.3
As far as volume goes, it can vary considerably, with a usual range of between about a half an ounce to more than 3-1/2 ounces. The color is most frequently described as “clear as water”4.
One of the reasons why I suspect that you don’t have coital incontinence is that your orgasms have been more powerful lately, and that’s not normally associated with incontinent episodes. Instead, what I believe you’re experiencing is a combination of female ejaculation and squirting – the fluid is, of course, the most obvious sign, but the stronger orgasms are also associated with those phenomena, too.
The good news is that women and their partners who experience this often consider it a positive development, and it frequently improves their sex life.5 Don’t be afraid to explore this new discovery. The ways in which women achieve sexual pleasure is highly subjective, and different women may have different opinions on which types of orgasm are more pleasurable for them. It’s all about what makes you feel good!
Just make sure that you pee before – or even in the middle of – having sex. This may help alleviate the feeling of pressure, and it may also reduce the sense that you have to pee during sexual activity. Finally, I can’t stress enough the importance of pelvic floor exercises to keep your pelvic floor muscles in top shape – that can give you a more rewarding sex life and help protect against certain forms of incontinence in the future.
Pastor, Z., & Chmel, R. (2018) Differential diagnostics of female “sexual” fluids: a narrative review. International urogynecology journal , 29 (5), 621-629.
Salama S, Boitrelle F, Gauquelin A, Malagrida L, Thiounn N, Desvaux P. Nature and origin of squirting in female sexuality. J Sex Med. 2015;12:661–6.
Schubach G. Urethral expulsions during sensual arousal and bladder catheterization in seven human females. E J Hum Sex. 2001;4. http://www.ejhs.org/volume4/Schubach/abstract.html .
Rubio-Casillas A, Jannini EA. New insights from one case of female ejaculation. J Sex Med. 2011;8:3500–4.
Wimpissinger F, Springer C, Stackl W. International online survey: female ejaculation has a positive impact on women’s and their partners’ sexual lives. BJU Int. 2013;112:177–85.
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Lauren Schlanger, MD, is a board-certified primary care physician with a focus on women's and transgender health.
The term "squirting" is often used to describe the fluid that comes from the vulva during orgasm. But it's actually much more nuanced.
"Squirting" and "female ejaculation" are often used interchangeably. Controversy exists over whether they're two distinct functions. Experts lean toward the belief that they are. 1
This article looks at how squirting and female ejaculation are different, how squirting happens, what it feels like, and how to do it.
The debate is ongoing over whether squirting can be called ejaculation. Still, studies and experts have recognized some key differences between them. 2 3
Fluid believed to come from the bladder and excreted by the urethra
Can involve the release of a larger volume of fluid (up to 10 tablespoons)
Contains urea, creatinine, and uric acid, similar to diluted urine, sometimes with a small amount of prostatic-specific antigen (PSA)
Fluid believed to come from the Skene’s gland, often referred to as the "female prostate," near the urethra
Tends to be a smaller volume of fluid (up to a tablespoon)
Contains high levels of prostatic acid phosphatase, prostatic specific antigen, glucose, and fructose, but low levels of urea and creatinine (often similar to male ejaculate without the sperm)
Whether everyone with a vagina can squirt and/or ejaculate is up for debate. It's estimated that between 10% and 50% of those with female genitalia do ejaculate.
Some experts believe everyone with female anatomy has the ability to squirt. Others believe it depends on your body. That means some people may not ever be able to do it. 4
Exactly what triggers female ejaculation is still unknown. It's believed to involve clitoral and G-spot stimulation. 5
From the outside, the clitoris looks like a small "nub" covered by a hood of skin. It's at the top of the vulva, above the urethra.
Inside, the clitoris has two "legs." They run down each side of the vulva. That gives it a horseshoe-like shape. Its only known purpose is to provide pleasure.
The G-spot is harder to define. Experts aren't sure if it's an anatomical "part" or simply a sensitive area inside the vagina.
To find the G-spot, you or your partner can insert a finger a few inches into the vagina. Keep the palm up and make a "come here" gesture with the finger. You can also use a sex toy that's meant to stimulate that area.
This is pleasurable for some people. For others, it doesn't feel like anything special.
One study suggests that the G-spot may be the root of the clitoris, felt through the wall of the vagina. 5
Ejaculation is associated with orgasm. That's especially true when it's caused by stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot. But some people ejaculate from stimulation even without orgasm. 2
In short, theories abound. So far, though, no one is sure what causes female ejaculation. Studies are conflicting and inconc
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