Spyder Jonez
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Spyder Jonez
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Evan Seinfeld was born on December 29, 1967 in Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. He is an actor and director, known for Oz (1997) and Judgment Night (1993). He has been married to Zuleidy since 2011. He was previously married to Tera Patrick .
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Born:
December 29 ,
1967
in
Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA
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How Much Have You Seen?
How much of Evan Seinfeld's work have you seen?
1 win & 5 nominations.
See more awards »
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
Spyder
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2012
Sex Sex Sex
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2011
Tits
(Video)
Guy with Tattoos (uncredited)
2011
Teen Sex
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2010
Teen Confessions
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2010
Speed
(Video)
Spyder (as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Model Bitches
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Reign of Tera 3
(Video)
Mr. Jonez (as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Sex in Dangerous Places
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Smokin' Hot Spinners
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie
Clyde (voice)
2008
Sleazy Riders
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Smokin' Hot Asians
(Video)
(as Spyder Jones)
2008
Smokin' Hot Blondes
(Video)
(as Spyder Jones)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Tera Goes Gonzo
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2008
XXX Box
(Video)
(as Spyder Jones)
2008
Smokin' Hot Latinas
(Video)
(as Spider Jonez)
2008
Grand Theft Auto IV
(Video Game)
Honkers Club Bouncer (voice)
2007
American MILF
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2007
China Blue
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Daddy I'm a Pornstar Now!
(Video)
(as Spyder Jones)
2007
Flawless
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Stimula
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Skinn Kandi
(Video)
The Guy (as Spyder Jones)
2007
InTERActive
(Video)
Neighbor (as Spyder Jones)
2007
Ultra Violett
(Video)
Red segment guy #1 (as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Reign of Tera 2
(Video)
Mr. Jonez (as Spyder Jonez)
2006
Fashion Underground
(Video)
Jason (as Spyder Jonez)
2006
The XXXorcist
(Video)
Father Seinfeld
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video)
Spyder (as Spyder Jonez)
2005
Desperate
(Video)
Adam (as Spyder Jonez)
2005
The Warriors
(Video Game)
Nails / Kevin K / Hog / ... (voice)
2005
Collision Course
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2005
Reign of Tera
(Video)
Mr. Jonez (as Spyder Jonez)
2004
Tera Tera Tera
(Video)
(as Spyder Jones)
2003
Manhunt
(Video Game)
Skin (voice)
- A Failure to Communicate
(2003)
... Jaz Hoyt
2009
Model Bitches
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Reign of Tera 3
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Smokin' Hot Spinners
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Sleazy Riders
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Smokin' Hot Asians
(Video) (as Spyder Jones)
2008
Smokin' Hot Blondes
(Video) (as Spyder Jones)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Tera Goes Gonzo
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
XXX Box
(Video) (as Spyder Jones)
2008
Smokin' Hot Latinas
(Video) (as Spider Jonez)
2007
Daddy I'm a Pornstar Now!
(Video) (as Spyder Jones)
2007
Reign of Tera 2
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2006
Test Drive
(Video) (as Syder Jones)
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2005
Reign of Tera
(Video) (as Spider Jonez)
2009
Reign of Tera 3
(Video) (written by - as Spyder Jonez)
2008
American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar
(Video) (written by - as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Porn Star Pool Party
(Video) (concept)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2008
Tera Goes Gonzo
(Video) (writer - as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Reign of Tera 2
(Video) (written by - as Spyder Jonez)
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video) (writer - as Spyder Jonez)
2005
Reign of Tera
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2005
True Crime: New York City
(Video Game) (lyrics: "Shades Of Grey (Remastered)") / (music: "Shades Of Grey (Remastered)")
2003
Backyard Wrestling: Don't Try This at Home
(Video Game) (writer: "Punishment")
- Variety
(2002)
... (performer: "No World Order")
1999
Final Rinse
(writer: "Punishment", "Shades of Grey")
1993
Judgment Night
(writer: "Judgment Night")
- Burger World
(1993)
... (writer: "Punishment")
2009
Reign of Tera 3
(Video) (producer - uncredited)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video) (producer - as Spyder Jonez)
2007
Glamcore
(Video) (executive producer - uncredited)
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video) (producer)
2005
Reign of Tera
(Video) (producer - as Spyder Jonez)
Hide
Show
Art director (2 credits)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video) (as Spyder Jonez)
Hide
Show
Camera and Electrical Department (2 credits)
2008
Teradise Island 2
(Video) (still photographer - as Spyder Jonez)
2006
Teradise Island: Anal Fever
(Video) (still photographer - as Spyder Jonez)
2011
2011 AVN Awards Show
(TV Special)
Self
2010
Gia: Portrait of a Porn Star
(Video)
Self
- Escalade & Smart Car
(2009)
... Self
2009
Naked Ambition: An R Rated Look at an X Rated Industry
(Documentary)
Self - Owner, Teravision
2009
The 2009 AVN Adult Movie Awards
(TV Special)
Self
- Party Time
(2009)
... Self - Tera's Husband & Manager
2007
Red Hot Carpet
(TV Special)
Self
2006
Get Thrashed: The Story of Thrash Metal
(Documentary)
Self - Biohazard
2004
Adult Video News Awards 2004
(TV Movie documentary)
Self
- Do the Hustle
(2004)
... Self - Tera's Fiancee (uncredited)
1997
Ozzfest
(Video documentary)
Self
1995
Sepultura: Third World Chaos
(Video documentary)
Self
Hide
Show
Archive footage (9 credits)
2013
Superstars of VCA Classic's
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2013
Cream of the Crop
(Video)
(as Spyder)
2012
Punk Rock Chixxx Rule
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2012
Sassy Ass
(Video)
(as Spyder Jonez)
2009
Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony
(Video Game)
Honkers Club Bouncers (uncredited)
2009
Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned
(Video Game)
Honkers Club Bouncers (uncredited)
2008
Onyx: 15 Years of Videos, History & Violence
(Video documentary)
Self (videos "Judgement Night" / "Slam")
2005
KSEX 1: Sexual Frequency
(Video)
Self -in Clip (as Spider Jones)
Other Works:
Vocalist and bassist for Hardcore Metal band, Biohazard.
Publicity Listings:
1 Interview |
See more
»
Alternate Names:
Spider Jones | Spyder Jones | Syder Jones | Spider Jonez | Spyder Jonez | Spyder
Spouse:
Zuleidy |
See more
»
Trivia:
Engaged to Tera Patrick .
See more
»
Lamentations and Jeremiads 25 Years After The End Of History
Fellow Deranged Wanderers
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Posted by Keith Spillett in General Weirdness on June 5, 2013
Every Sunday night between 5:15 and 5:17, thanks to a mixture of transcendental yoga, Nyquil and Shiatsu, my mind travels to a dimension similar to our own. This parallel universe is known simply as Blargh.
Many of the details of The Blargh Dimension are similar. For example, the San Francisco Giants have won two of the last four World Series there as well. However, there are also some major differences. For example, in Blargh, the Giants best pitcher is a 14-foot tall polar bear with 11 arms.
One of the most extreme differences between their world and ours is the role of heavy metal in their lives. The average resident of Blargh listens to roughly 22 hours of heavy metal a day. By the age of 11, all Blarghian children are tested on Venom and Slayer lyrics. If they make even one mistake, they are fed to one of the thousands of giant lobsters that live in tunnels below the cities.
I have been trying to convince people of my travels for years. However, the story is a bit far-fetched and proof is hard to come by. However, this Sunday, I was able to rip out a page from the Blarghian TV Guide and smuggle it back. Here is the evidence of the existence of this world, along with a good sampling of what the average Blarghian watches on network television (President-For-Life Agnew banned cable TV in the 1980s and, consequently, they only have three channels).
8:00-9:00 Marduk, She Wrote
Everyone’s favorite 276-year old detective Angela Lansbury teams up with Swedish metal blasphemers Marduk to solve mysteries and promote neo-fascism.
9:00-9:30 Jeff Walker, Texas Ranger
After leaving Carcass, metal legend Jeff Walker uses his extensive knowledge of human anatomy to fight crime and poor hygiene in Texas.
9:30-10:00 Touched By A Morbid Angel
A heartwarming show that features David Vincent giving fake messages from God to strangers and making them do really horrifying things to their loved ones.
10:00-11:00 The Dukes of Biohazard
Brothers Bo and Spyder Jonez speed around a post-apocalyptic Brooklyn in a car with a confederate flag painted on the roof while trying to avoid police officers and members of the Baseball Furies gang.
8:00-8:30 Leave it To Believer
Jerry Mathers stars as an Kurt Bachman, an 8-year old musical prodigy who writes Christian death metal songs and gets into all sorts of mischief with his brother Wally.
8:30-9:00 Powermad About You
An aging Minneapolis thrash band fall head over heels in love with Helen Hunt and attempt to marry her in violation of New York’s ban on polygamy.
9:00-10:00 In Battle There is No LA Law
Seven-time Emmy winning actress Jo Bench and the members of Bolt Thrower star as hip Los Angeles attorneys who drive around in sports cars while dressing as characters from Warhammer.
10:00-11:00 Falconer Crest
Lorenzo Llamas stars as a power metal vocalist who tries to wrestle control of a winery from Ronald Reagan’s ex-wife.
8:00-8:30 All In The Manson Family
Marilyn Manson is a crusty but benign racist who argues incessantly with his leftist son-in-law and humiliates his “dingbat” wife.
8:30-9:00 Newhartwork
A spin off of Jeff Walker, Texas Ranger. Walker retires and opens a bed and breakfast in a Vermont that is visited by traveling grindcore bands and Elvis impersonators.
9:00-9:30 Fantomas Island
Mike Patton, Dave Lombardo, Hervé Villechaize, and Ricardo Montalban are trapped on a magical island that is haunted by the ghost of Henry Mancini.
10:00-11:00 Highway To Hell
Bon Scott stars as a demon attempting to force wayward souls to make bad life decisions and end up condemned to eternal suffering. Michael Landon and the scuzzy looking guy who always wear the Oakland A’s hat co-star.
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Evan Seinfeld is an American musician and actor, as well as a director, photographer, writer, and former pornographic actor. He is best known as the former lead vocalist, bassist, and founding member of Biohazard. Since leaving the band in May 2011 for personal reasons, [1] he has joined the band Attika7 as a vocalist.
In November 2006, Patrick starred in a Vivid /Teravision production titled "Tera Patrick's Fashion Underground" where she performed with Jean Val Jean and Tommy Gunn. In the same film her husband, under the name Spyder Jonez , performed with Lanny Barby. In an interview, Tera Patrick says she's OK with him doing scenes with other girls. [14]
The Guy (as Spyder Jones) 2007 The Wizard of Gore Frank 2007/I Broken (Video) 2007 InTERActive (Video) Neighbor (as Spyder Jones) 2007 Ultra Violett (Video) Red segment guy #1 (as Spyder Jonez ) 2007 Reign of Tera 2 (Video) Mr. Jonez (as Spyder Jonez ) 2006 Fashion Underground (Video) Jason (as Spyder Jonez ) 2006 The XXXorcist (Video) Father Seinfeld
Brothers Bo and Spyder Jonez speed around a post-apocalyptic Brooklyn in a car with a confederate flag painted on the roof while trying to avoid police officers and members of the Baseball Furies gang. NBC. 8:00-8:30 Leave it To Believer. Jerry Mathers stars as an Kurt Bachman, an 8-year old musical prodigy who writes Christian death metal ...
Evan Seinfeld is an American musician and actor, as well as a director, photographer, writer, and former pornographic actor. He is best known as the former lead vocalist, bassist, and founding member of Biohazard. Since leaving the band in May 2011 for personal reasons, he has joined the band Attika7 as a vocalist. He is the founder and CEO of subscription service IsMyGirl. Wikipedia More at Wikipedia
Born: Brooklyn,
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