Splorch Anal
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Splorch Anal
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by Alice Skary June 8, 2018 April 2, 2022
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Some of you may be aware that I’ve done a lot of work & play with Primal Hardwere’s Splorch, one of their line of ovipositor dildos — egg laying sex toys. I have some tips for taking your ovipositor even further; this is based off of my experience with Splorch, but may apply well to any of their fantastic egg depositing toys.
Make The INSERTION Fun
The insertion itself should be full of build up & eroticism. The actual act of laying the egg takes only a few seconds, while the prep of creating eggs & loading them is quite lengthy — so you will want to draw it out to really have fun with this and relish the experience. Slide the toy in slowly. Feel the egg stretching the orifice. Leave it, and Splorch inside for a while before withdrawing it. If you are with a partner, the two of you can engage in other activities while Splorch & the egg is inside. Slow down and enjoy the experience.
Ice Eggs
You can create eggs out of pure ice simply by filling your egg mold with water & freezing them overnight. You could consider some naughty ideas with this — adding a SMALL amount of an herbal tea solution, like ginger, to give a tingly masochistic sensation (tolerance will vary from person to person — test a small amount at a time before trying an entire egg!) to the vagina or to the anus. You could also deliver an enema solution of your choice. Frozen plain coffee melting inside of the intestines will cause cramping and a strong “cleansing” effect. A tiny bit of Dr Bronner’s Peppermint soap in water, frozen, will give a nice clean fresh smelling enema. Be warned, you don’t want to put too many eggs inside for long — the bottom could end up QUITE chilled… One, or maybe two for an experienced player, and expelled once the bottom becomes at all uncomfortable. Players who are familiar with ice cube play would be the best candidate — do research before laying your ice eggs!!
Coconut Oil Eggs
Many have come to me and asked about a safer option than gelatin eggs for vaginal insertion, as people who are very prone to yeast infections may have trouble with the gelatin eggs. Coconut oil “suppositories” made in the egg mold is a PERFECT option. Most people report that coconut oil is great for vaginal balance — many even use it to treat or prevent yeast infections. Your mileage may vary. Ask your gynecologist if you have any questions or are very prone to yeast infections. That said, simply fill the egg mold with warm/soft coconut oil, and then place it in the fridge or freezer to harden up. Cold coconut oil becomes VERY firm — but will still safely melt in the body. As a perk, it also suffices as a lubricant as it melts! (Of course, don’t ever use any rubber-based toys or condoms with any type of oil. Oil degrades rubber.)
Glycerin Lube For Forced Egg Laying
Consider taking eggs of your choice (gelatin, ice, silicone?) and covering them, and the inside of Splorch, with a pharmaceutical grade (USP) glycerin . If used anally, glycerin is a powerful laxative — the urge to expel the eggs will rapidly grow, creating the sensation of a genuine alien birth!
Using Splorch as A Vaginal Or Anal Douche
I discovered that one of my sports water bottles fit *PERFECTLY* in the base of Splorch — a bit of leaking, but I think some teflon or rubber tape on the threads would fix that. Anyways, though, when the water bottle is squeezed, you can administer a hearty douche right through Splorch. See it being used vaginally as a douche, here.
Using Splorch As An Enema Nozzle
I was able to discover that one of my premium silicone enema nozzles from Silicone Nozzles fit perfectly inside Splorch — a tight fit, but stayed once lubricated. After that, a the enema nozzle was used as usual. Splorch served as a beautiful naughty sleeve, providing thickness, texture, squishiness. See it being used as an enema nozzle, here.
Using Splorch As A “Regular” Dildo
To make it easier to use your Splorch WITHOUT eggs, I recommend placing a large condom (magnum XLs are a great choice) over the entire toy, blocking off the large hollow hole in the center (”the egg hole” as I call it.). I have also used the enema nozzle inside it as described above, but just for penetration — no enema — to create a firm core and making Splorch into a proper dildo.
Making Eggs Out Of Cake Pop Molds
Rather than using the egg molds that Primal Hardwere sent with Splorch, sometimes I will use a cake pop mold which looks very similar to this model, here . The slightly smaller shape makes them easier to lay, and it also provides a greater quantity of eggs.
Fucking With The Eggs Inside
Consider that all kinds of mischief can be caused other than just placing eggs inside and then “birthing” them. One idea is that a bottom could be filled anally with eggs, and then could be penetrated vaginally while retaining the eggs — or vice versa, giving an incredibly full double penetration sensation. Another option is that the intestines could be full of eggs, and then normal anal intercourse could occur — giving fascinating full sensations. Often, anal “birthing” may occur as soon as the penetrating toy or penis is removed, though, so make sure a towel is ready….
I hope this article will clear up some questions about how you use this toy, and expand the horizons of those who already own one. Splorch can be incredibly versatile if you use it creatively. Please share this with your friends.
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MADE IN THE USA Body-safe Platinum SIliicone Dishwasher safe!
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mostly, a lot of the ovis from this will not work as intended. and will be told is a bad recipe, so on, but even silicone eggs at the smallest will not work in-- most of them.... so its just a dildo, not an ovi.
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total height: 10.5"shaft length: 9.5"diameter: 2" (without eggs in it)shaft circumference: 6.5"How do you like YOUR eggs? Introducing the Splorch! It is an ovipositor designed for all those xenomorph fans out there who like the idea of alien eggs and impregnation. Made of soft platinum silicone, the Splorch is stretchy enough to handle chicken egg-sized gelatin eggs. Although we do not supply these directly, all Splorch orders will include a free 6-egg mold and instructions for making the eggs.Thank you for being such an excellent host. This item is sold as a novelty only. We're not responsible for how you choose to use it.
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I posted unboxing pictures of this gorgeous toy the other day, and now that I have had a chance to try him out for myself, I can finally review him. Lets just start this off by saying this has to be one of the most unusual toys that I own. I am very much so into alien fetishes, egg laying included. Just another one of my weird fetishes that I love to embrace and nourish. Aliens have always been close to my heart, and closer to my nether regions. I have a soft spot for a good alien toy. While roaming around the inter webs, I stumbled across a small company called Primal Hardwere . They are another company dealing in the realms of fantasy toys. They have a few lovely looking were-able toys that I know I will have my hands on sooner or later, and then, they have the Splorch …an ovipositor dildo! The heavens opened up and sang, and I couldn't click that buy now button fast enough!! There is quite literally nothing like this anywhere else. So for those of you who are into alien play, I think you need to invite this baby to come home with you. Who knows maybe you could have an EGGcellent night! ok ok sorry I had to. Bad pun, but great toy, promise. The Splorch is a dildo that can have silicone, gelatin, or ice eggs inserted into it so it can "deposit" them wherever you like. But a warning to ladies, I said GELATIN not, JELLO. Jello has sugar and that is a huge no no for your Vag. Can you say yeast infection? If you use Jello, that is the road you are headed down. Eggs are inserted into the bottom through an opening, and can be squeezed up the shaft, and out through the top. Sounds intriguing, yes?
Shipping was quick and easy. I ordered my Splorch and it was in my hands in less than two weeks! Talk about quick for a custom toy! Lets give a round of applause to Primal Hardwere! My Splorch came shipped in a discreet brown box, and was packed neatly inside within a plastic package. The Splorch comes with a free egg mold and several nifty little business cards which was pretty sweet! Not as personal as Exotic Erotic's packaging but still good. Thats not the important part anyway!
I ordered my Splorch with these custom options:
Size: One size, here are the dimensions-
The Splorch is pretty girthy so getting all of it into my mouth to deep throat was a challenge since I have a very small mouth. But the filling sensation of it choking me was amazing! Then I could not help but to wonder…what if I made ice eggs? And…laid them in my mouth!? So I did just that. I popped the egg maker i received with my Splorch into the freezer and waited a few hours. Once mostly frozen I went to work. I decided the best place for play with this toy is by far the tub. This is a MESSY toy! This is not a toy that I would want to play with on my fine leather couch, no thanks! haha!
So this was to be my first test with inserting the eggs.
I was a little worried about this aspect of the toy. Before ordering a toy I normally try and read up on it. Unfortunately with the Splorch there are not to many reviews! The two or three I did find complained that the eggs were hard to insert therefore defeating the purpose of the toy. The insertion hole at the bottom was simply too small to fit an egg easily. This seriously worried me. And yet another review told the toy was too girthy for them so they had no review on actual insertion or the egg laying while inside one's body. This also worried me. But me being me, I figured I needed to know for myself.
I am ECSTATIC to report that I had NONE of these problems. After some research on the reviews, all of which were pretty old, I am happy to report that Primal Hardwere has resolved the problem of the insertion hole for the eggs being too small. Before it was about the size of a penny, now it is bigger than a quarter.
So once I had my fill of egg launching I was ready for this alien to use me for it's willing host. I lubed the Splorch up, and attempted to insert him without eggs first, just to get a feel for him. Though the Splorch is made of very flimsy silicone, he is surprisingly pretty easy to insert. You do have to hold onto his base firmly to get him inside since he is very floppy there, but thats no big hurtle to get over. The Splorch's prongs give a very interesting sensation once inserted. They feel nice and flexible within me and when thrusting they move separately and press against different places which is a very nice detail. Though he is a girthy thing, I prefer larger toys so this was no big thing for me. So then I decided to insert some eggs. I started off with just one to get a feel for it. I reinserted the Splorch and slowly sank down upon him until i had taken about half his length, I didn't want to take too much of him so I could still have room for an egg. I slowly squeezed the egg up his shaft, but a warning for those who are not girth seekers, when inserting a chicken sized egg, the Splorch's size grow tremendously! This may be a problem for those who cannot take large girths. With eggs inserted I measured him at about a 2.5" girth roughly. But never fear, if you are using ice eggs, simply let them melt down to a smaller size and then its much easier to handle. But what a sight to behold! The alien's shaft growing, its bulge getting closer and closer to my body, ready to lay its offspring in my willing body. I bit my lip in anticipation. I slowly pulled the Splorch out little by little, forcing the egg to squeeze up gradually until the frozen egg slowly slid up out of the Splorch and lodged within me. When inserted the Splorch no longer launches eggs, it simply gently lays them within you with a small pop. Initially all I could think was "oh lord that is cold!" If you are not into temperature play I would not suggest ice eggs. They are very very cold, obviously. haha. But the intense feeling of the cold within me had me writhing in pleasure, that thin line between pleasure and pain from the biting, numbing chill. I clenched my muscles to keep the egg within my body, I wanted to feel it melt within me. I could only imagine a great alien leader smiling down at her little pet human, her egg successfully laid within my body. The chill of her offspring flowing through my body. As I held the egg inside of me, I inserted a second egg into the Splorch and proceeded to play with its egg laying qualities as I relished in the cold feeling of the egg still inside me. I could feel the cold water leaking from me as the egg began to melt, it was glorious! I then laid back and rubbed the shaft and pincers against the outside of my vagina and my clit. Within minutes of my alien queen pleasuring me I came to dripping, wet orgasm. I slumped down against the back of the tub and simply enjoyed the throws of my orgasm. Nothing can even come close to how wonderful this toy is. It's visual effect, its usage, just everything. I have never had more fun all around with any other toy! Though the Splorch is not exactly a "quickie" toy. He is more of the long toying session type. I spent nearly an hour a
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