Spitting Teens

Spitting Teens
How to Discipline a Child for Spitting

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Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast.
Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.

Spitting can be one of the most repulsive and frustrating behaviors children exhibit. Whether your child spits at you when you say something they don’t want to hear, or they spit on a friend who refuses to share , it’s important to curb the habit as soon as possible.

Sometimes, kids just spit for fun. They may simply spit on the ground because they think it's entertaining. If they get a reaction from anyone, it can make spitting even more fun.

Toddlers sometimes spit because it's a good way to get attention. Spitting on someone will certainly get some type of reaction.

Preschoolers tend to spit out of anger. When they aren’t able to verbalize their feelings of frustration, they spit to show how upset they feel. A child who knows not to hit may think spitting is a better alternative.

Spitting can also be a self-defense tactic. A child who doesn’t want their friend to steal their toy may spit on them in an effort to keep them at bay. Older kids tend to spit out of an act of defiance. It’s a great way to say, “You can’t control me,” or “There, take that!”

Some children with autism or other special needs spit as well. They may find it's an effective way to express their feelings or a way they can gain a little bit of control.

Almost all kids spit at one time or another. The way you respond to spitting will play a major role in how likely your child is to do it again. Here are the most effective ways to respond if your child spits:

The disrespect—combined with the disgust factor—that accompanies spitting might cause you to lose your temper. But when your child loses their cool, the best thing you can do is role model how to deal with your emotions in a socially appropriate way. 1

Yelling or spanking sends the wrong message. If you’re really upset, walk away for a few minutes. Don’t address the situation until you’re calm enough to speak in a normal tone of voice.

Avoid the urge to give a lengthy lecture or scold your child endlessly. A quick, simple reminder that “spitting is gross,” or “spitting is inappropriate,” is all you need.

Send a clear message that says, “Spit is for chewing.” If your child spits in more than one setting, adults should give the same, consistent message about why spitting is a bad idea.

A helpful natural consequence for spitting includes cleaning up the mess. 2 If your child spits on the floor, give them some cleaning materials so they can wipe it up. If they spit on you or someone else, have them assist in washing it off—if it’s appropriate to do so.

Time-out is a helpful consequence, 3 especially if your child spits out of anger. Place them in a quiet area for one minute for each year of their age. This can help them learn how to calm down when they're upset. It best to teach your child how to do this by repeatedly, calmly showing them strategies such as belly breathing, muscle tension and relaxation, visual imagery, drawing, etc.

If your child spits on someone else, or on their property, restitution may be in order. 4 For example, insist that they loan the victim their favorite toy for the day or assign them an extra chore to do. Doing something kind for the victim can help them make amends.

Spend time teaching your child alternatives to spitting. Show them how to use their words and encourage them to use healthy anger management skills . 5 Eventually, your child will learn how to deal with uncomfortable emotions in a socially appropriate manner.

If spitting is a big problem for your child, a reward system can be helpful. Create a behavior chart that allows your child to earn stickers or points for managing their behavior appropriately. Then, allow them to exchange stickers or points for tangible rewards, like TV time or an opportunity to play their favorite game with the family. 6

Provide lots of praise. Say things like, “Great job using your words when you were mad,” or “Nice work telling your brother no when he tried to take your toy.” Praise will encourage them to keep up the good work without spitting.

Kiff CJ, Lengua LJ, Zalewski M. Nature and nurturing: parenting in the context of child temperament . Clin Child Fam Psychol Rev . 2011;14(3):251-301. doi:10.1007/s10567-011-0093-4
Drayton AK, Andersen MN, Knight RM, Felt BT, Fredericks EM, Dore-Stites DJ. Internet guidance on time out: Inaccuracies, omissions, and what to tell parents instead . J Dev Behav Pediatr. 2014;35(4):239-46. doi:10.1097/DBP.0000000000000059
Bombi AS, Di Norcia A, Di Giunta L, Pastorelli C, Lansford JE. Parenting practices and child misbehavior: A mixed method study of Italian mothers and children . Parent Sci Pract. 2015;15(3):207-228.
Sukhodolsky DG, Smith SD, McCauley SA, Ibrahim K, Piasecka JB. Behavioral interventions for anger, irritability, and aggression in children and adolescents . J Child Adolesc Psychopharmacol. 2016;26(1):58-64. doi:10.1089/cap.2015.0120
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Violent behavior in children and adolescents . Updated December 2015.
American Academy of Pediatrics. 10 tips to prevent aggressive toddler behavior . Updated December 5, 2018.

By Amy Morin, LCSW

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.

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A new trend sees TikTok users filming themselves spitting toothpaste out of their mouth. Sounds strange right? Wait until you find out the reason why.
TikTok is a strange place full of some very bizarre trends. But this one might actually beat them all on the weirdness scale. People have been scrolling down their For You page and seeing something they wish they could unsee – people spitting out toothpaste.
It’s definitely not something you’d expect to find on TikTok, and there’s a very specific reason why people are doing it. So what is the Toothpaste Spit Challenge?
A very strange new trend has been going viral on TikTok , commonly known as the Toothpaste Spit Challenge, which sounds totally gross.
People are doing pretty much what it says on the tin, brushing their teeth with toothpaste until it all foams up, and then spitting it out so that the foamy white gunk falls down their chin in a pretty disgusting way.
It’s definitely one of the weirdest TikTok challenges we’ve seen, but why exactly are people doing it?
it’s the no eyebrows and thinking spitting toothpaste was cute for me #foryoupage 1 year has done be good
If you thought the challenge was bizarre to begin with, you’re going to think it’s even stranger when you find out the reason why people are doing it.
The TikTok Toothpaste Spit Challenge is actually pretty x-rated, as the white toothpaste liquid is actually supposed to resemble semen. Yeah, I told you it’s weird.
The song that goes with the challenge is Sex Talk by Megan Thee Stallion, and girls are seemingly doing the challenge to imitate explicit videos, which definitely raises the issue of the safety of TikTok for young, impressionable children.
Since the challenge first became popular on TikTok , it’s certainly had some backlash, and people have been taking to Twitter to express their doubts about it.
One Twitter user said: “ #TikTok is a f*cking WEIRD place. We got minors pretending to spit out toothpaste to look like semen while lip syncing to an over sexualized Meg Thee Stallion song.”
“Maybe Trump had the right idea with banning TikTok. If I see another minor fake org*sm or spit out toothpaste on that f*cking app… JAIL,” said another .
i hate straight tiktok who gave you the right to spit out toothpaste like that

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06:00, Thu, Mar 31, 2016 | UPDATED: 08:22, Thu, Mar 31, 2016

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Bethany Gallimore was set upon by the girl yobs as she walked through a town centre to meet her parents on Sunday evening.
The schoolgirl had got off the phone to her mum just minutes before a group of around 14 youths surrounded her and started shouting vile abuse.
Two members of the group then launched a sickening unprovoked attack as bystanders egged them on in Kidsgrove town centre, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs.
I've had to move schools before because of bullying and I want people to see the impact of their actions
Shocking footage shows the teenager being repeatedly punched, kicked and stamped on as well as having clumps of her hair pulled out.
During the 28-second clip one person can be heard saying "You've f***ed her nose up" while others are laughing as she is subjected to the humiliating assault.
After being battered and spat on Bethany managed to stagger a short distance to find her parents with blood pouring from her face.
She was taken to the Royal Stoke University Hospital where she had an X-ray on her hand and was treated for severe bruising and cuts.
Staffordshire Police confirmed they have now launched an investigation into the incident.
Today brave Bethany, from Mow Cop, Staffs., spoke out about her harrowing ordeal in a bid to highlight the issue of bullying.
She said: "I've had to move schools before because of bullying and I want people to see the impact of their actions.
"I don't usually walk that way. I was walking down the road and saw a large group of people in the distance, at the other end of the road.
"All of a sudden, they started running towards me and crowded around me saying that I was ugly and fat, and that they hoped I would drop dead.
"They hit me across the face and kicked and punched me everywhere. They then spat on me and left.
"They were asking me why I wasn't fighting back but I'm not that kind of person.
"I have been bullied since I was in Year 7, so it was bound to happen sometime.
"But I don't want it to happen to anyone else.
"It is upsetting to see my mum so upset. I burst into tears as soon as I saw her."
The Congleton High School pupil says she wants as many people as possible to watch the footage to help get the yobs responsible caught.
She added: "I want people to see what had happened to me by watching the video on Facebook.
"I've had lots of friend requests on Facebook and messages, asking if I was alright. A girl from New York even messaged me.
"She had seen the video and she said lots of bloggers from America have written about it.
"She was really kind, she was wishing me luck. It cheers me up to know people care.
"I am worried about going back to school, I know everyone has seen the video and will be talking about it.
"My back and neck are still painful and I'm in shock."
The footage, which was later deleted, has been shared by Bethany's mum Denise alongside the message: "This has got to be the hardest thing I have ever seen and had to deal with as a mother in my whole life.
"I have seen it once and will never watch it again, because that image is stuck with me now.
"But I want everyone to see and to know who the scum are that did this to my little girl last night."
The video has since been shared almost 5,000 times.
Mum-of-four Denise, 32, added: "When she came into the pub, I just thought 'Oh my God'. She had blood pouring from her face so I took her into the toilet.
"She told me what had happened but I think she was trying to protect me.
"When I saw what they actually did on the video, I was so shocked. I will never watch it again.
"One of them held her while the other one punched her in the face. It made me feel awful that I wasn't here, we were only down the road.
"I don't want these kids to walk the streets of Kidsgrove and get away with it. I want people to know what those girls are capable of doing.
"It makes me feel sick to think about what happened.
"People are always telling me what a lovely girl she is. She is so caring. She has loads of friends and is a very happy girl, everyone loves her.
"Obviously, she has been really upset but I know she won't let them bring her down. She will get back up."
Bethany's step-dad Daniel Gallimore, 28, a lorry driver, added: "I was so shocked to see her like that. I was angry and upset but also really frightened for her.
"We cleaned her up and took her home and later we saw the video on Facebook.
"The support from everyone has been really brilliant. It has helped us all, but it is still a really difficult time.
"As a father, it really does get to me. I used to be bullied when I was younger and to see this happen to your child is terrible."
Bethany's parents said they are concerned whether she will be well enough to return to school after the holidays.
Daniel added: "She is too unwell to go back anyway, but more than anything, she is so emotional.
"It is going to be really hard for her."
A spokesperson for Staffordshire Police said they were aware of the incident and were making inquiries.
Anyone with information is asked to call 101, quoting incident 685 of March 27.
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