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What is the ultimate, best kind of sex? Oh, sure, we all have our favourite positions and our ultimate fantasies: bucket-list fucks with hot celebrities or specific sex toys we’ve always wanted to try. I have plenty of these myself. But is there one thing, above all others, that I’d give my eye-teeth to do?
I would like for two dudes to fuck me in a very specific way: the spitroast. And I don’t just mean me sucking on one gent while the other fucks me from behind. I mean a properly co-ordinated spitroast: all three of us moving in harmony, so that the force with which the first guy fucks my mouth pushes me more tightly back onto the other person’s dick.
Spitroasting has some pretty awful connotations, not least because the word itself sounds like something no human could possibly enjoy. There needs to be a better word for this – a word that is focused more on why it’s fun than on the specific physicality of it. I’m gobsmacked, to be honest, that the first group of three people who got together and shagged like this couldn’t come up with something better: the fuck-sandwich, for instance, or ‘cocktacular.’ What’s more, I hate that spitroasting has been co-opted by the kind of twatty jocks who guffaw about it, as if it’s a win that they’ve scored from the lady in the middle: one that implies she’s lost, and they’re high-five over her naked back as if they’ve one-upped her in some way.
It probably doesn’t need to be said, but this attitude is some tedious, fucked-up bullshit. Not least because if you have any inclination that the person you’re fucking has ‘lost’? You need to go the fuck home, immediately.
I’ve been thinking about this very particular position ever since an amazing guest blog from a pro-domme, in which she and a colleague gave a client a pegging spitroast (please read it, it’s incredibly hot).
The closest I have ever come to a spitroast was during the Best Night Of My Entire Life. Two guys, both of whom were utterly beautiful, funny, and just the right kind of kinky, stripped naked in a hotel suite and did… well… all the things we wanted to do. They fucked me, they fucked each other, they kissed right in front of me so I could marvel at the beauty of their faces smooshed together in silhouette against the window. One of them let me go down on him while the other fucked me from behind. And it was… so so close to a spitroast that it definitely counted. It. Definitely. Counted.
The first guy was lying down, and I crouched over him. Hands gripping tightly at his thighs, and lips wrapped equally tightly around his spit-lubed cock. The second gent, with a cock just thick enough there was only one place it could go, rolled a condom on neatly to the base, gripped my hips and slid inside.
He started slowly – as if going too hard would put me off my stroke. Then as I pushed back harder onto him he picked up the pace. Fucking me with solid strokes – crotch smacking against my arse with each of them. Pushing me forward each time, so I took more of the other guy in my mouth.
I opened my lips wider and willed him to make me choke on it.
He was lying down, not kneeling – so he couldn’t quite get the right thrust to have me trembling: I still had a certain amount of control over how hard and fast I took him in my throat. But it was enough.
Because as the first guy put his hands in the small of my back, and slid me down onto his solid cock, I tightened in anticipation of the next movement: the end of the thrust. When the entrance to my cunt would meet the base of his dick pushing hard in the other direction, and the force would shove me forward, and my lips would squash hard against the base of the other guy’s prick.
What’s my point? No point, really, except that I’d like to do this again. I’d like to try it harder. I’d like to match exactly the positions I see in porn, with perhaps the added possibility of the guys gripping hands across my back, pulling against each other so they can brace themselves and fuck me harder. So that in the middle I feel not just full but squashed. Aching. Crushed by the sheer force of their need, and their desire to give me exactly what I want.
I want to do it again. And again. And again. Until the fantasy spitroast is practiced enough to turn the fantasy ending into reality: a chain reaction that starts with the twitch of my cunt when I come. Which leads to me choking. And the other guys tipping simultaneously over the edge. To the greedy, excessive pleasure of feeling one guy in my cunt, and another in my throat. Gulping down the thick, salty taste of one while the other pulses and throbs, in almost the same rhythm, behind me.
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Nothing to do with the subject matter, but this page took a while to display on my browser.
I noticed the alternative text on the image (displayed in its place before it loaded) and laughed out loud. It’s the little touches that really make a blog.
That would take some amazingly lucky timing for all three people to cum at the same time…but what a release! And what a work of art that would be. I always see this position in photos and wonder how hard that’s gotta be on a girl’s neck. But, then, it’s not a fantasy of mine. The way you describe it, though, I can see why it’s yours. You are such an amazing writer.
Thank you! And re: timing, you’re right but I reckon it would be helped along its way by my cunt muscles tightening just as I come – happens a fair bit during sex that mine will trigger his. Guy at the front might need to train his hair trigger, but it’d be fun to practice!
For me it’s not the physical sensation of the woman coming that tips me over the edge, but watching/hearing/feeling her excitement. (Okay, feeling is physical sensation, but it’s not the way it affects my sensations that does it, it’s the fact that it’s evidence that she’s coming.)
So if the guys at each end have that kind of response (I always assumed everyone does, but now I’m wondering), then your synchronised finish becomes much more likely… watching the other guy’s face as he blows is likely to tip me over too, and (hopefully) vice versa.
Most of my threesomes have been MFF, and they do often seem to end in, if not simultaneous orgasms, then certainly close-succession firecrackers. :)
That’s a bloody good point, D – and also now I am thinking about two guys staring really fucking hard into each other’s urgent, twisted, orgasmic faces and I have to go to my bunk for a bit for reasons.
As always GOTN cunt twitchingly good…
you’ve made me hot under the collar…. ugh…
and want to try it again too… Aaaanyway….
What about calling it a cockatoo As in “I love a cockatwo”
Spitroasting has some pretty awful connotations, not least because the word itself sounds like something no human could possibly enjoy
There needs to be a better word for this
all three of us moving in harmony, so that the force with which the first guy fucks my mouth pushes me more tightly back onto the other person’s dick.
Oh God, that made me laugh booze through my nose. Probably better than spitroasting though =)
For some odd reason when I read your comment, I instead think of a shakeweight.
Have to say this is one of my favourite fantasies. It’s one of the things I remember fantasising about when I first started wanking. Great post. :) xx
I too have had a nearly!spitroast, in much the same way as you, GotN. It was incredibly hot … but I still want to try the ‘actual’ thing. One day!
Oh this bought back memories…and you’re right, spitroast is an awful term. One thing that did stick with me from a fantastic night was one of the guys telling me the next day he was worried I was going to bite him accidentally because I was being fucked so hard lol
Haha, shit. It’s kind of a strange paranoia, because I find if I’m really going for it I’m much more likely to open wider than to bite down in surprise =)
I’ve had it, I loved it, and I want more. Amen, sister.
I want this I WANT THIS. One fine day.
I remember reading ‘Last Tango in Paris’ years ago, and just before the infamous buggery scene the man reaches for some butter with his foot. The line is stuck in my mind : “Leisurely he applied the butter to her anus, greasing her he thought like a pig for the skewer.” – hints of a spit-roast there !
The ultimate fantasy act for me would be anal sex with a woman who was being ‘face sat’ by another woman. Shes on her back, legs up over my shoulders, I’m standing, kissing the the second partner, who is being brought to orgasm by the girl underneath. Oh – and stockings & suspenders, and high heels. We’re all wearing those.
I believe the term for 2 men spit-roasting a woman and high-fiving over her is called an “Eiffel Tower”.
I have done it, on a couple of occasions actually but the most notable one with a partner who I went swinging with. He set me up on a date with another guy without be knowing (risky I know) met me in a bar, went to buy drinks but sent the other guy back with them….. we had a fucking great night… fucking. I got to suck two cock at once and yes we did the spit roast and it is seriously hot!!!
OMG I am SO jealous! You’re right that’s risky, but I’m delighted that it worked out for you! I definitely fancy a DP too – have tried once or twice (and a lot with toys, which works wonderfully), but never quite managed to get the angles right with two dudes. x
I only managed it once, very spur of the moment at a swingers club but it just all fitted together perfectly, excuse the pun, and completely blew my mind. I came so hard I thought I was going to pass out.
The best angle for do that my wife found was when she was sitting on top of a guy who was sitting himself (on a chair or couch) and I came in from behind. She said it was “instant orgasm that lasted as long as the sex did”
This position is definitely not my cup of tea because I’m lazy but maybe it could be called the shishkabob because of the going in one end and coming out the other look of it? Or the bookends?
Be good looking I guess. I struggle to even get a girlfriend, never mind a threesome! In my personal sexual world this is a genuine “first world problem”.
I genuinely wonder how you guys all manage to have so much sex. I wish..
Glad you asked Bo – I’ve actually written a bit before about how to get a threesome: http://www.girlonthenet.com/2012/06/19/how-to-get-a-threesome/ It’s an early blog post, so probably not quite as nuanced as the stuff I write now, but there are some tips in there. I don’t think ‘be good looking’ is really one, but that’s mainly because I’m uncomfortable with the idea that ‘good-looking’ is objective: tastes often differ greatly, and what one person might l
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