Sperm Club

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Sperm Club
Weekend Edition September 02, 2022 Friday - Sunday
CounterPunch

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Someone once told me there are two types of people in the world: those in the Lucky Sperm Club and those who are, putting it frankly, not so lucky. The Lucky Sperm Club consists of those fortunate few born into economic privilege. There are ways to achieve prosperity without being in this club, of course, but membership indubitably offers an incredibly unfair edge.
One out of every 7 children in the United States, almost 11 million in all, are born into poverty. The reality of America’s wealth divide becomes even more alarming when race is considered: in 2016, the median household wealth for Black families stood at $17,600 while white families averaged $171,000.
Children whose families enjoy more wealth tend to have a higher college graduation rate and are shielded from economically traumatizing events, such as a major health problem or housing eviction. Wealthier children also tend to live in wealthier neighborhoods served by better resourced schools.
Not everyone can be born into the Lucky Sperm Club, but public policy offers a means of creating more opportunity for those who lack that sort of privilege. One of the most innovative approaches is “baby bonds,” government-funded trust funds for children that they can later use for wealth-creating investments.
Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) first introduced a baby bonds bill, the American Opportunity Accounts Act , in 2018. Under his plan, the federal government would deposit $1,000 into an account for every child born in the United States. Each child would then receive an additional deposit of up to $2,000 annually, depending on their family’s income level.
While every child, regardless of race, would be eligible for the program, studies show that it would substantially narrow the racial wealth gap because of this sliding scale. According to Booker, the poorest children would accumulate about $46,200 in their trusts by age 18 while the wealthiest would have around $1,700. At this point, the child would gain access to their account and could put the funds towards a down payment on a house, higher education, or starting a business.
Although proposals like Booker’s have been discussed since the 1990s, they have faltered at the federal level. Hillary Clinton initially included baby bonds in her 2008 presidential platform, at one point suggesting a $5,000 deposit for each child, before dropping it entirely.
Booker promoted baby bonds during his own run for the presidency in 2019 before dropping out. His Senate bill currently has 15 co-sponsors. A House version , championed by Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-MA), has 25.
With Congress failing to act on baby bonds, policymakers at the city and state levels are taking action on their own. In June 2021, Connecticut became the first state to pass baby bond legislation. Children whose births are covered by the state’s Medicaid program will have an estimated $10,000 nest egg by their 18th birthday thanks to this initiative.
In the fall of last year, the Washington, D.C. city council approved a new Child Trust Fund that will provide a $500 initial deposit for children born at or below the federal poverty line. Those who continue to fall below that income threshold will receive deposits of as much as $1,000 per year until they turn 18. New York City also introduced a baby bonds program, although a far more modest one, in 2021.
Most recently, the California state legislature allocated $100 million in July 2022 to seed trust funds for two groups of particularly disadvantaged children: kids from low-income families who lost a parent or primary caregiver to Covid-19 and those in long-term foster care. The details are yet to be worked out.
State lawmakers in Washington , Iowa , Wisconsin , and Massachusetts are also actively considering baby bonds programs. Experts at the New School and Prosperity Now are tracking this trend and have identified the essential elements for state- and local-level Baby Bonds legislation. Such evaluation and monitoring work will be vital so that well-run and effective baby bonds pilot programs can help build momentum for federal action.
Given the widening of our nation’s wealth gaps during the pandemic, baby bonds are likely to only increase in popularity. In 2019, the richest 1 percent of U.S. households owned 40 percent of the country’s private wealth. This gap is no doubt even wider today. As of May 2022, U.S. billionaires had seen their wealth rise by more than $1.7 trillion — an increase of almost 60 percent since the beginning of the Covid-19 crisis, according to the Institute for Policy Studies and Americans for Tax Fairness.
In the long-term, our goal should be to disband the Lucky Sperm Club that gives a tiny elite such vast economic and political advantages over ordinary Americans. For now, we should try to help as many children as possible to thrive without luck in the picture at all.

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Actually, members of the Lucky Sperm Club (LSC) have good reason to be worried. On one hand, study after psychological study demonstrates a profoundly negative correlation between inherited wealth and self-esteem. From another vantage point, business gurus maintain that the ancient Chinese observation, “Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations” is valid: A founder who builds a thriving enterprise that pulls his family out of poverty will likely see his kids run it into the ground, leaving their heirs, the third generation, as poor as grandpa was.
Beyond these problems, the biggest thorn in LSC members’ sides is jealousy. It’s never been easy keeping up with the Joneses, but if Jones is loaded owing to family wealth, most folks will think that Jones is a dipstick through no fault of his own.
My goal is to put an end to the suffering LSC members endure. To this end, what follows are the 4 most egregious myths about being a LSC member and behavioral strategies that can be used to convert potentially disastrous circumstances into blessings.
Myth #1: Head Starts Yield Head Cases . Concerns about inherited wealth are not new. In the 1980s scores of books were written on the subject, including one by your Head Coach . With good reason: Head starts in life can be daunting. To compete with an idol is intimidating enough to drive some people to drink (anyone follow the Kennedy Clan?). Worse yet may be falling victim to the excessive influence of a megalomaniacal patriarch. I recently met with the LSC children of just such a man who lamented how he controlled their lives through the adroit use of Golden Handcuffs. Each child told me about being miserable and simultaneously unable to escape. When I asked one victim, “Do you own a car?” implying she could drive away, she huffed, “Sort of… the company pays for it.” I guess it’s true what they say: “You pays yer money and you takes yer chance.”
To prevent LSC members from becoming helpless victims, wealth should be used to enhance options, not restrict them. In the hands of an adjusted business builder LSC membership is a ticket to discovering all the world has to offer. The key, however, is to prevent LSC members from getting “wrong-headed” ideas about money, and the right ideas about virtue.
A man I knew in Boston , Roger Berkowitz, CEO of the wildly popular restaurant chain, Legal Sea Foods , had kids who qualified for LSC status, but he vowed they would never become tainted by it. When they were in grade school Roger determined that raising children in luxurious surrounds would have deleterious consequences. So, Roger moved the family from an upscale Boston suburb to a “nice” home in an undeniably middle class burg; the sort of maneuver designed to cope with a mixed blessing rather than succumb to it.
Myth #2: Inherited Wealth Is Dis-incentivizing . There’s no doubt about it: Necessity is the mother of invention, and if you need for nothing materially because daddy spoils you, you have little incentive to build a fortune on your own. What many parents of LSC offspring ignore is that with proper planning you can neutralize the dis-incentivizing effects of inherited wealth and run a business. Just don’t take the tack most business founders do when they send a kid off to work in another industry prior to giving him control of the family enterprise. The fallacy here is that doing so inoculates Junior against indolence born of being heir to a fortune. Phooey! Junior typically goes to work for one of Dad’s BFFs, an arrangement that entrenches, rather than gives lie to the notion, that money trumps everything.
My suggestion is to extrapolate from what Eddie Murphy’s character in Coming To America did. As heir to the throne he lived in exile, determined to fly or flop on his own. If an heir ultimately gravitates to the family business, bring ‘em in. If not, prevent him from accessing his trust fund until the King dies. While the King is alive it’s OK to give the Prince gifts that make him happy, but not one cent that enables him to become slothful. You wouldn’t be an enabler if your kid was a junkie, so recognize that an addiction to money is no less real than one to heroin.
Myth #3: Sycophants Cling To LSC Members Like Barnacles Cling To Ships . If you are worried about sycophants here’s an important alert: If you don’t foster their behavior they’ll leave you alone. To prevent barnacles, stop picking up the check when you dine in restaurants and only host “potluck” dinners for all but long-term friends.
One former client of mine, a truly loveable man, was driven mad by the belief that every woman he dated was a gold digger. He was correct, but only because he handed them prospecting tools. Within 10 minutes of meeting an eligible woman he’d reference his father’s Forbes 400 status. If you act like this guy did, forming authentic friendships is a herculean task. Conversely, if you relate to others solely on the basis of shared interests, LSC membership is irrelevant.
Myth #4: LSC Members Are Expected To Act Rich . When I hear LSC members express this concern my stock response is, “What… Folks assume you’re an arrogant narcissist?” If the LSC member responds by saying “Yes!” he is safe. If he takes offense, he’s usually beyond salvation.
I first addressed this concern [see, here ] in the 1980s with politically incorrect, but accurate terminology: I said, “If you join a group, be an Indian, not a Chief.” The message was, if you get your hands dirty, give of yourself and not from your checkbook, folks will judge you for who you are not what you’re worth. Conversely, if you support activities solely to generate tax write-offs through donations, every negative stereotype that surrounds LSC members will definitely apply to you.
The good news is that, once again, the LSC member is in complete control with no one to blame if things go awry. One man I know, Jeff Sandefer of Austin , TX, would rather eat dirt than be defined by his wealth. Early on, Jeff made a fortune from Texas (and other) oil fields, but left that arena for teaching. When he developed concerns about the quality of education in Texas he never once thought of paying to have them fixed. Instead, he helped Governor Rick Perry develop education reforms by writing white papers and articles, and (with collaborators) built both a graduate school of business and an elementary school. My last email from Jeff –explaining why he was out of touch— read, “Teaching middle school - 7 am to 4 pm - plus everything else before and after. Fun and busy.”
If I ran the world, folks would inoculate themselves and their family members against LSC problems with “fun and busy.” Recently, many people are following the lead of Warren Buffet who said that to prevent his kids from “feeling like doing nothing” he would give-away most of his fortune and leave only a “small amount” to heirs.
Before you take the tack the Oracle of Omaha did, recognize that his preventative efforts may be too little, too late: A child’s character is set in stone prior to age 6, which means that Buffet should have protected his progeny when Berkshire Hathaway was a mill in Massachusetts, not a mutual fund accessible only to Forbes 400 members.
If all else fails, you can try to keep your kids from becoming insufferable LSC brats by reminding them of what Thomas Jefferson observed: “It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness.”

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