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Sexual Addiction message board, open discussion, and online support group.

I really can't help it. It's fun i admit, but also frustrating. I'll have an entire day off of school/work, to be at home, alone. and i have plenty of things i love to do; like play my latest video game, watch a movie i've been meaning to watch, or work on some art project. yet i always end up reverting to getting on the computer, and jerking off, and chatting with my other perverted friends on yahoo messenger. I often play Second Life so i can assume the role of a busty girl and go around being slutty in a virtual world. I'll look at pictures of girls and chat with my "friends". I've gotten interested in crossdressing over the last couple years, and now dress up super slutty, and invite over a "friend" and give him head. They say thanks and leave. I play safe, im clean. I've blown married men, and young college guys. Im just addicted to it. I've gotten really good at it, and i love feeling slutty for some reason. Then when i get it out of my system for the day, i snap back to my usual straight chill self. With no homosexual tendencies or desires. It's like this hunger in me(no pun intended) that i need to relieve sometimes and then carry on my day like normal. It's so weird. What can make someone so hoplessly addicted to oral sex? I cant get enough head from the girls i date, and i crave it so much it pushed me to the point of actually giving it to other guys. Could it be because my first few gf's when i was young were very into it, and gave me lots of blowjobs constantly? So im kinda spoiled now? I dunno. Theres so much more to this... but i dont wanna drag on...

Any addiction that takes over your life is serious, we all have our turn on's and it is not unusual for younger people to have higher sex drives. In time though we start to lose respect for ourselves and of course there is the risk of STD's. I know I quit a lot of bad behaviour because I started to think of it in terms of reality and what people thought of me. Might want to try thinking of it more that way.

I fully understand your position and your needs. You don't say how old you are, if you enjoy what you do (and it appears you may do) then the time is not right to try and stop, I have attempted to curb my behaviour many times and in my experience the most successful attempts have been when I have been totally desperate to stop. There appears to be a lot of support for the 12 step program here but having gone through that, lost a live in g/f and received scorn from my brother (who hasn't spoken to me since), and then gone back to my previous behaviour I can't support it. It's really up to you (and me) to analyse our behaviour and try to curb the most damaging aspects. I wish you success in whatever you choose to do and good luck. If you need to chat anytime you can pm me and I will do my best to help.

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