Spanking Sexy Girl

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Spanking Sexy Girl
A Very Useful Guide to Sexy Spanking
Spanking is fun and sexy, but you’re still hitting someone. Here’s how to do it right.
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Spanking must have a terrific PR person. Though frowned upon as a punishment for children, spanking is currently a super-popular, super-sexy method of “punishment” between two consenting adults. The spanking spectrum covers a lot of ground. At one end are the playful taps you do every now and then, and at the other end is “impact play” (when one person—the top/dominant—strikes another—the bottom/submissive—for sexual gratification). But whether you’re a beginner spanker or a powerful dominant who wants to leave a handprint on your submissive, let’s be real: While spanking is totally normal and fun, it’s still hitting someone. Here’s how to do it respectfully...and sexily.
It’s safe to spank someone in your bedroom, but unsafe to spank someone at Buffalo Wild Wings because you’ll freak out the other diners. But where on the body is it safe to spank someone? Anywhere with muscle and fat, like the booty, is safe. David Ortmann, a San Francisco– and Manhattan-based psychotherapist and sex therapist, says his trick is to have the woman he’s spanking put on her sexiest pair of panties (that covers the butt—not a thong). Then, he says, you spank just the clothed area—you can take off her panties later. Stay away from the sides of the body, because it’s more painful. You should also avoid spanking areas that are not protected by fat or muscle. That includes the kidney area, neck, joints, and the tailbone and hip bones.
Along with spanking, common forms of impact play are slapping, paddling, caning, and whipping. (Please note that single-tailed whips are ill-advised for newbies because they can wrap around the body like a python.) Before adding any of the above to your sex life, pick a safe word. “Safe words are mandatory for anything that involves striking or hitting. You should come up with one that’s not ‘No, please stop,’ ” says Ortmann. With BDSM play such as spanking, begging and whining can be dirty talk that’s part of the action, so Ortmann recommends selecting a word that’s completely out of context. Pick something that you know will snap you out of an Inception -ish sex fugue, like “hedgehog,” “Ralph Lauren,” or “La Croix.”
While choosing a safe word is super-fun (like naming a puppy!), with impact play you also need to communicate with your partner before, during, and afterward. Use touch to get a feel for the spankee's preferred intensity. Ask your partner, “So what’s your pain threshold like? How hard do you like to be spanked?” while running your hand down their back. Move your hand down to their ass and try a few practice rounds to learn what their comfort level is. And even after you’ve laid out ground rules and established a safe word, pay attention: “Consent can change. If I’m spanking someone and we agreed on a certain level of intensity, but they change their mind, I have to know. It’s okay for them to change their mind,” Ortmann says.
If you’re new to impact play, start with your hands, because they’re easily accessible/attached to you and won’t hurt your wallet. “They also allow for skin-to-skin contact, which is a great way to connect to each other,” says Goddess Aviva, a New York City–based dominatrix. But if you do want to level up and spank someone with an object, simply waltz through your kitchen. If you don’t want to spend on expensive kink toys , Aviva recommends a wooden spoon. Unless you’re an impact-play expert, stick with tools that make a “thuddy” sound, like a paddle. I’m a snob, so when I want to be spanked with something other than a hand, I love a BDSM-black paddle .
Impact play can be both emotionally and physically intense, due to the spikes of adrenaline and endorphins released. Sometimes, after spanking or any BDSM experience, you and your partner can have a come-down. BDSM aficionados talk a lot about “aftercare,” which simply means checking in with each other after you’ve gotten off, just to make sure all parties feel good about what went down. At BDSM events or sex parties , you’ll often see chocolate set out, which is meant to help replenish guests’ oxytocin. You can give your partner a nice massage, and make sure to simply ask how they’re feeling and if they enjoyed themselves.
It’s easy to spank safely: Just stick with the ass, start with your hands, talk to your partner during the sesh, and maybe have a cookie on hand.
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Tender skin. An open palm or leather flogger. The anticipation before the hand or instrument meets flesh. The thrill as the sound reaches your ears at precisely the same moment the sensation reaches every inch of your body. And you only get another if you ask very, very nicely.
Oh, the joys of spanking. It may have been a dreaded punishment as a kid. But as part of consensual adult play, it can be delicious fun. Much of the thrill comes from the expectation and build-up. When will it happen? How will it feel? Will it happen again? And no matter how many times you may indulge, those same questions always seem to arrive since each spanking encounter is different.
People enjoy spanking, because in a safe environment, it can be exhilarating to command and to relinquish all power. The spanker is in control of how many spanks and how hard (within the agreed upon scenario, of course.) The “spankee” is left to wait and wonder. Many people find themselves aroused before the paddle ever meets skin, in fact. Just the setup and the imagery in their mind is enough to drive them wild.
Spanking is also a thrill for the senses. The smell of the leather. The sight of the instruments of pleasure or your partner’s backside. The sound of the spank. The feel of open hand or flogger or paddle. The taste of your partner’s kiss as reward after you’ve been “punished.” In fact, each of those sensations alone can send some spanking aficionados over the edge.
The mere sight of the instruments of play can make some people salivate. Although you can use your bare hand, some prefer to use a leather flogger, spanker, slapper, or riding crop for spanking play . And sometimes just leaving it out for your partner to see will delight him or her as much as the action to follow. There is something naughty about these tools, especially when “innocently” left out on crisp white sheets, hinting to the evening’s activities to come.
If you want to get a taste of how it’s done and how it may feel, you might first want to try reading some erotica on the subject, like “Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories" by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Warning: These tales are not for the faint of heart, and they may likely make you long for the barest of bottoms. Sorry, couldn’t resist. And if you choose to indulge in spanking erotica, believe me, you won’t be able to resist either.
The how-to of spanking is simple because you can play however you like. The only real rule is that those who are in the game want to be. Talk beforehand about what you’d like to do, and what doesn’t interest you one bit. And have a safe word, something simple and easy to remember. If that word is ever uttered, it’s hands off. Literally. No questions asked.
You may want your partner to lower his or her pants just enough for you to get to the goods. That mid-state of undress might actually be more exciting for you both than going the full monty.
The “spankee” can lie across the spanker’s lap, legs spread (if clothing allows.) Or he or she can bend over or lie across a bed, chair, or table. It’s your scene, set it however you like.
You may want to take your hand or instrument of choice and rub the waiting target gently, teasing with the very thing that is about to bring a sting or slap or whisper of pain.
A little dirty talk can also be fun when you indulge in spanking play.
“That’s better. Now lift up that beautiful bum. I’m about to start a little fire.”
You get the idea. And it may sound cheesy now. But in the moment, you just might find your heart racing and your breath shortening without warning.
Take your time. Going too quickly will spoil half the fun. And be sure to check in with your partner. Reminding the spankee to breathe is also a good idea as you go. It makes the pleasure deeper and keeps the spankee in touch with how the sensations really feel.
Step Six: Basking in the Afterglow.
Yum. The aftermath. Almost the best part. The red marks left behind. The heat rising from the spanked skin. Caressing the skin with cool hands after the spanking can be stellar. Or, try a massage tool like ceramic stones that you can chill with ice-cold water and soothe your savage beast with by doing a bottoms-up massage. The smooth texture combined with the chill feels amazing on fiery skin.
The attraction to spanking play is manifold. And although it may take a little courage to ask your partner if he or she wants to play, I’m betting you won’t be disappointed by the reply. Then all you have to do is shut the door and utter the magic word.
Jenny Block is a freelance writer based in Dallas. She is the author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage." Her work appears in "One Big Happy Family," edited by Rebecca Walker and "It’s a Girl: Women Writers on Raising Daughters," edited by Andrea Buchanan. Visit her Web site at www.jennyonthepage.com.

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. ©2022 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. Market data provided by Factset . Powered and implemented by FactSet Digital Solutions . Legal Statement . Mutual Fund and ETF data provided by Refinitiv Lipper .


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