Spanking Fingering

Spanking Fingering
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Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

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Spanking is f*cking hot. Here are the best ways to do it.
The way pain and pleasure can collide during sex is intriguing. When practiced with care and good timing, they can complement each other nicely. There’s nothing quite as erotic as being in the middle of a super hot sex session and having your booty slapped . The sharp sting of a spanking can heighten the charge between partners, feeding into the animalistic quality of the sex session.
If you’ve been interested in trying some BDSM-style play , erotic spanking is a great place to start for kink beginners . It’s something everyone can do with a bit of training and understanding.
“One of the best parts of spanking is that you don’t need any fancy (read: expensive) BDSM props to partake—only a hand and a willing bottom,” says Charyn Pfeuffer, sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating .
Like all things in BDSM (and sex in general), erotic spanking should only be practiced between consenting adults who are super into it. If it isn’t a “HELL YES” from both you and your partner, it’s a “no.” Here is everything you need to know about erotic spanking for beginners.
Erotic spanking is exactly what is sounds like: "You’re spanking someone or getting spanked for the erotic and sexual pleasure it brings,” says Kristine D’Angelo , a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.
The types of pleasure that come from a spanking session are varied, and will depend very much on the mood of the moment. Erotic spanking can be gentle, rough, painful, and even romantic at times. “For the body, spanking releases endorphins and causes blood to flow to areas of impact," explains Daniel Saynt , founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. "The release can be euphoric. For those who like more aggressive forms of spanking, the appeal may come from the longer-lasting pain—sitting down and still feeling the impact from the night before can be a major turn-on.”
During erotic spanking—also known as consensual impact play—the top (or giver), spanks the bottom (or receiver). The spanking is usually relegated to the buttocks, but can also move to the upper thighs and other areas with fatty tissue. Spanking can happen once, a few times, or repeatedly throughout a sexual encounter. “It can be performed as foreplay or during sex,” Pfeuffer says.
But there's more to erotic spanking than the physical mechanics. There's often a power dynamic that comes into play as well, wherein the bottom is willingly giving their power to the top in the form of accepting a spanking. “There’s a psychological component added to it that is part of a consensual [dominant/submissive] dynamic," says Kenneth Play , international educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . "It can be a punishment, a form of humiliation, or another way to display dominance."
What does this boil down to? Spanking is f*cking hot.
You should not just go in and spank someone without first knowing if this is something they’re interested in trying. Have an open and honest conversation about how you’d like to be spanked (or give a spanking).
Here are a few ways to bring up erotic spanking:
Here's what to say when setting boundaries:
Adding in some spanking before you’ve even gotten into bed can spark erotic energy, setting the wheels in motion for a very hot sex sesh. “Using your hands, swat your lover's bottom while clothed, aiming for the middle of the buttocks, also known as the ‘sweet spot,'" says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "It is enticing to many because the nerve endings of the genitals end at the bottom of the bottom (pun intended) and that gentle but firm tap/slap can stimulate them."
Communicate while you're spanking or being spanked. If something isn’t working for, speak up! Simply say, “Babe, I love that you’re super into this, but your hitting me a bit too hard. Can we chill a bit?” If you’re loving it, an encouraging “Yeah! That’s so hot!” is always great. Honest dialogue during sex is how we make sure everyone is having a good time.
Safewords are non-sexual words that alert our partner when we’re not liking something, feel uncomfortable, or want the play to stop altogether. They are extremely helpful when you don’t feel comfortable advocating for yourself during sex. Sparks suggests using the “traffic light” system: "red" means stop; "yellow" means slow down; and "green" means you're loving it.
If you're new to impact play, spanking should be restricted to the buttocks or the upper thighs. "[If you] hit above the peak of the upper buttocks you risk injuring the kidneys or the tailbone area," Sparks says. "A very hard hit can do damage, especially for those who do not have a lot of ‘meat’ on their backside."
Once you’re feeling comfortable with your practice, stocking up on toys can be a fun way to continue exploring impact play, Saynt says. "My personal favorites are thick, leather floggers,” he says. If you need a tamer suggestion, Unbound makes a very adorable crop called “Tsk” that is perfect for beginners.
Play also suggests investing in high-quality leather gloves to add some extra padding against a bare bottom. Bonus: The leather gloves can also help to invigorate that dom/sub dynamic that makes spanking so hot.
One of the best ways to become a truly fantastic spanker (or spankee) is by doing some research. Sparks recommends a book called Spanking For Lovers by Janet W. Hardy. You can also check out workshops from Dame Products , O.School , or your local sex shop (like The Pleasure Chest ).
Spanking makes for a great addition to role play—it can bring you into a heightened sense of fantasy. It’s ideal for teacher/student, boss/secretary, or really any dynamic that involves a dom/sub dynamic. For example, if you’re doing a teacher/student scenario, you could say: “Well, Jen. I’m very disappointed that you didn’t complete the homework assignment. I may have to give you a spanking. Come bend over my knee, you naughty girl.”

Could You Be the Next Men's Health 'Ultimate Guy'?
Tom Brady's New Running Collection Takes Off
Umbrella Academy Star's Transition Improved Life
Love Languages Don’t Matter as Much as You Think

This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

Gigi Engle
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
What It Means to Be Queer, as Told by LGBTQ+ Folks
How to Get Rid of a Hickey as Fast as Possible
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
A Doctor on How Long It Takes for Women to Orgasm
My GF Is Incredible but I'm Afraid She'll Cheat
Love Languages Don’t Matter as Much as You Think
Here's Exactly How to Make Your Partner Squirt
A Urologist Demonstrates How to Measure Your Penis
18 Panty Vibrators for Discreet, On-the-Go Orgasms

Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.

Spanking is f*cking hot. Here are the best ways to do it.
The way pain and pleasure can collide during sex is intriguing. When practiced with care and good timing, they can complement each other nicely. There’s nothing quite as erotic as being in the middle of a super hot sex session and having your booty slapped . The sharp sting of a spanking can heighten the charge between partners, feeding into the animalistic quality of the sex session.
If you’ve been interested in trying some BDSM-style play , erotic spanking is a great place to start for kink beginners . It’s something everyone can do with a bit of training and understanding.
“One of the best parts of spanking is that you don’t need any fancy (read: expensive) BDSM props to partake—only a hand and a willing bottom,” says Charyn Pfeuffer, sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating .
Like all things in BDSM (and sex in general), erotic spanking should only be practiced between consenting adults who are super into it. If it isn’t a “HELL YES” from both you and your partner, it’s a “no.” Here is everything you need to know about erotic spanking for beginners.
Erotic spanking is exactly what is sounds like: "You’re spanking someone or getting spanked for the erotic and sexual pleasure it brings,” says Kristine D’Angelo , a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist.
The types of pleasure that come from a spanking session are varied, and will depend very much on the mood of the moment. Erotic spanking can be gentle, rough, painful, and even romantic at times. “For the body, spanking releases endorphins and causes blood to flow to areas of impact," explains Daniel Saynt , founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness , a private members Open Love club for the adventurous. "The release can be euphoric. For those who like more aggressive forms of spanking, the appeal may come from the longer-lasting pain—sitting down and still feeling the impact from the night before can be a major turn-on.”
During erotic spanking—also known as consensual impact play—the top (or giver), spanks the bottom (or receiver). The spanking is usually relegated to the buttocks, but can also move to the upper thighs and other areas with fatty tissue. Spanking can happen once, a few times, or repeatedly throughout a sexual encounter. “It can be performed as foreplay or during sex,” Pfeuffer says.
But there's more to erotic spanking than the physical mechanics. There's often a power dynamic that comes into play as well, wherein the bottom is willingly giving their power to the top in the form of accepting a spanking. “There’s a psychological component added to it that is part of a consensual [dominant/submissive] dynamic," says Kenneth Play , international educator and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . "It can be a punishment, a form of humiliation, or another way to display dominance."
What does this boil down to? Spanking is f*cking hot.
You should not just go in and spank someone without first knowing if this is something they’re interested in trying. Have an open and honest conversation about how you’d like to be spanked (or give a spanking).
Here are a few ways to bring up erotic spanking:
Here's what to say when setting boundaries:
Adding in some spanking before you’ve even gotten into bed can spark erotic energy, setting the wheels in motion for a very hot sex sesh. “Using your hands, swat your lover's bottom while clothed, aiming for the middle of the buttocks, also known as the ‘sweet spot,'" says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop. "It is enticing to many because the nerve endings of the genitals end at the bottom of the bottom (pun intended) and that gentle but firm tap/slap can stimulate them."
Communicate while you're spanking or being spanked. If something isn’t working for, speak up! Simply say, “Babe, I love that you’re super into this, but your hitting me a bit too hard. Can we chill a bit?” If you’re loving it, an encouraging “Yeah! That’s so hot!” is always great. Honest dialogue during sex is how we make sure everyone is having a good time.
Safewords are non-sexual words that alert our partner when we’re not liking something, feel uncomfortable, or want the play to stop altogether. They are extremely helpful when you don’t feel comfortable advocating for yourself during sex. Sparks suggests using the “traffic light” system: "red" means stop; "yellow" means slow down; and "green" means you're loving it.
If you're new to impact play, spanking should be restricted to the buttocks or the upper thighs. "[If you] hit above the peak of the upper buttocks you risk injuring the kidneys or the tailbone area," Sparks says. "A very hard hit can do damage, especially for those who do not have a lot of ‘meat’ on their backside."
Once you’re feeling comfortable with your practice, stocking up on toys can be a fun way to continue exploring impact play, Saynt says. "My personal favorites are thick, leather floggers,” he says. If you need a tamer suggestion, Unbound makes a very adorable crop called “Tsk” that is perfect for beginners.
Play also suggests investing in high-quality leather gloves to add some extra padding against a bare bottom. Bonus: The leather gloves can also help to invigorate that dom/sub dynamic that makes spanking so hot.
One of the best ways to become a truly fantastic spanker (or spankee) is by doing some research. Sparks recommends a book called Spanking For Lovers by Janet W. Hardy. You can also check out workshops from Dame Products , O.School , or your local sex shop (like The Pleasure Chest ).
Spanking makes for a great addition to role play—it can bring you into a heightened sense of fantasy. It’s ideal for teacher/student, boss/secretary, or really any dynamic that involves a dom/sub dynamic. For example, if you’re doing a teacher/student scenario, you could say: “Well, Jen. I’m very disappointed that you didn’t complete the homework assignment. I may have to give you a spanking. Come bend over my knee, you naughty girl.”

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Subject: The Soapy Finger Treatment
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Date Posted: 10:49:48 08/28/17 Mon

Did anybody else get the soapy finger treatment?
My mom is a bit eccentric, o.k., she's crazy and had some strange habits. One of them was, along with my spanking she would poke her soapy finger up my butthole. Oh it burned!
I doubt it, but did anybody else get the soapy finger treatment?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 16:27:11 08/28/17 Mon

Sounds kind of yucky to me.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:40:47 08/29/17 Tue

Good heavens! Why did she do that?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:05:49 08/29/17 Tue

I've gotten the soapy finger treatment but not from my mom and not during a spanking. My room mate has done that after I'd gotten a spanking and because I stunk so bad she threw me in the bath and scrubbed me. Not the kind of anal fingering I would hope for.
Why did your mom do that? How did she do it? How often did she do it? Did she do it because you had dirty panties? How old were you when she did that? Did you ever get a soap suppository or enemas?
Sorry about all the questions.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 06:10:49 09/12/17 Tue

How did she do it? Usually over her knees with my bottom on fire. Either a wet bar of soap or dip her finger in shampoo, then poke her finger up my butthole. Makes my bowels burn just to think about it.

How often did she do it? I don't know how to answer that. Not with every spanking, and I got spanked a lot.

Did she do it because you had dirty panties? You seem to have some obsession with dirty, poop stained panties. There's nothing wrong with that, just something I've observed. Not specifically for that, but if it makes you feel better, my panties haven't always been spotless.

How old were you when she did that? I guess about 9 to 25 when I got my last spanking (from my mom).

Did you ever get a soap suppository or enemas? Those too, but not that often.

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[> [> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:50:40 09/14/17 Thu

Thanks for answering.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:16:50 08/31/17 Thu

What was your mothers intention when doing this?

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 05:36:04 09/07/17 Thu

Oh yes. At first it was just for constipation, but constipation and misbehavior tend to go hand in hand, and mum knew that anal penetration (of any kind) was a greater threat for me than spanking.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 07:49:10 09/15/17 Fri

Let me also add that the after effects (burning bottom aside) last for a long time and are not pleasant. Lesson definitely learned, which may be what my mom was going for......or she was just crazy.

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[> Subject: Re: The Soapy Finger Treatment

Date Posted: 03:47:55 09/20/17 Wed

I used to get an enema after every spanking. Not as a part of the punishment, but because my mother was an anti-constipation fanatic and in her opinion, constipation was a leading cause of naughty behavior. She felt that if you needed a spanking, then you certainly needed an enema too!

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