Spanking Discipline

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Spanking Discipline
The list of reasons for spanking goes on for novel-length. Atonement for misdeeds, connecting to another, submission, fun, etc. In our case, it’s directly connected to sexual pleasure. Sure, there is a sting, but it’s not perceived as pain to us. The sting goes from our backside to our brain for a little processing and to our front side. When I think of all the other reasons someone that likes to be spanked might have, it’s a wonder that Bacall and I found each other so compatible. We sure as hell did not have a list of spanking traits we wanted in the other when we met.
Disappointment in a spanking . Yes, sure, it happens for all sorts of reasons. Too hard. Too gentle. Preoccupied. Not in the mood. Didn’t happen. Shouldn’t have happened. Delayed. Not the implement I was hoping for. Already been spanked and don’t need another one. Would rather snuggle. Uncomfortable position. Headache. Sore back. Sore bottom. Busy now. Too hot. Too cold. Too stingy, I wanted thud. Too thuddy, I wanted sting. Wrong room. Too long. Too short. Too high. Too low. Too far out on my hip. Feeling sick. Feeling tired. Wanted scolding. Scolding was distracting. Rationale is bogus. Didn’t get a rationale. Just don’t want to get spanked right now. Why can’t we do this later?
My thought, yeah do it later, take a rain check. Neither of us feels submissive to the other so taking a spanking to be submissive to the other’s desires is foreign to us. We always check with the other to see if they are in the mood. If things are not going as we want, we tell the other right away.
Most paddlings given to me by other women have been a disappointment to me. I explain in detail how I want it and they tell me they understand. And then bam right out of the gate they head in a different direction and I have to stop the scene. I make sure they understand that licks only go on the meaty section and the first lick is on my side. Scene ends.
Same with implements, there are dozens of types. We happen to have landed on wood. I was always about wood, no doubt from school. She came to wood by way of leather. There are damn few wood paddles that work for us. When we made them, we tested them on each other to see how they worked. I would get on the intercom and call her down to the workshop for a test. We communicated.
A belt Bacall bought for herself. It turned out to be more than she bargained for.
One of my jeans belt that I use on Bacall
Some paddles were tossed right away, others would be cut a little to see if that would improve them. When we got one we liked, she would finish it.
I can look a paddle and say it looks like it would work, but the proof is in feeling it.
All this to say, it’s an exceedingly narrow channel to find a suitable mate and another channel to find the right implement. As I am sure you already know.
After years and dozens of toys, these are our go-to favs
I am thrilled to see that erotic and play spankings are well represented in the poll – 40%. It seems to me that discipline orientated Blogs predominate, but maybe erotic spanko’s are not so much for Blogging and are not well represented? Perhaps they are happy and see no reason to Blog?

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This Non Woke blog celebrates the erotic side of spanking as long practiced by one married couple. We don't spank for punishment or discipline or any reason other than to supercharge sex. Bogey and Bacall. There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Shakespeare
I have not written about our spanking lives in some time. The spankings continue, but with less frequency, especially for me. And for me with fewer and more moderate licks. I can blame it on aging. I can blame it on Leukemia.
I am too often tired and not up to paddling Bacall. I must paddle her in the mornings, as by noon, I am headed south energy-wise. Ya think meth would help?
She had been developing a bit of an attitude the past month and I told her several times that if it continued it would result in a paddling she would not like. She continued and I summoned up all my energy and gave her what for. It had been years since she had done so much lap dancing.
I felt a bit sorry for her red cheeks and I saw a seldom-used bottle of hand lotion and a rubber glove with ribs on the dresser. Using the glove with lotion feels really good, so I did. While she was cooing with delight the devil appeared and I picked up the paddle and gave another round on her wet cheeks. Oh my, did that set off the girly squeals?
I am happy that the paddling settled her down. Two days later I was in the bedroom and saw her coming down the hall. I pulled off my belt and she went over my lap for a short time. Things are normal again.
I was on a blog that I should have not been reading. This was the opening image.
You have no idea how such images piss me off. I just don’t care for submissive people, male or female. Submission is a weakness to me.
Yeah, I know this what a lot of men would relish. It’s also the stereotype women have of men who want to be spanked and that’s my prime objection. More than once women have avoided playing with me because they feared I would ask them to spank me. Being a male switch is tantamount to being ostracized, while female switches are prized.
If I never saw another image like this it would fine with me. I only like pictures that show both enjoying themselves – tears and expressions of anguish do not depict enjoyment to me.
Long post with my thoughts on spanking relationships.
I make no claim that what we enjoy is right for anyone else. My point is that the lack of honest communication and the desire to be submissive may not get you what you want.
Spanking Is Complicated For Most People and that’s because they make it that way. They feel they have to be submissive, so they can’t say what they really want .
Yes, it really does hurt. But, as odd as this may sound, the pain is a secondary consideration. What we treasure more are feelings of connectedness, peace, and openness that follow.
Connectedness is a feeling of belonging to or having an affinity with a particular person or group. I suppose b elonging to could be a submissive state of mind. And an affinity with a particular person or group could mean you are damn glad to have someone to spank you. All this seems to be overthinking it to me. I like to spank, I like to be spanked. It turns me on. No other rational is needed.
The only thing I have ever said about spanking that may be universally true is that once two people admit they share an interest in spanking that will be the last time they will fully agree on anything related to spanking.
So I got a note from a guy. His wife has agreed to spank him, maybe not as long or as hard as he would like, but he is working with her to “improve” the spankings. He would like to be submissive to her, to give himself to her. But, she will have none of that.
I can relate to her feelings. I have had more than a few women that wanted to be submissive to me. I am not bragging, I am saying how desperate they were. All of them were successful in their own right. An RN with two doctorates, a CPA, etc. I have never wanted any part in controlling another’s life. It’s all I can do to control my own life. 
So I can understand wives who signed up for traditional marriage, with traditional sexual boundaries who find after the vows have been exchanged that their husband has a few more vows – that he wants to be spanked and have her control him.
And it course works the other way, wives reveal they want to be spanked, controlled after marriage. Witness all the DD blogs.
We can ask for a spanking. That takes nothing away from it for us.
Consider that in marriages where punishments spankings are given, don’t you find it odd that only the submissive one ever needs to be punished? The dominant one never makes a mistake. Fucking incredible to me.
You know we don’t engage in punishment or discipline spankings. They are purely erotic for us from start to finish. We have always wondered why so many favor punishment. The majority of spankers and spankees are into punishment spankings. I saw this on the blog Pam Spanks Her Husband .
Although I don’t enjoy these punishment spankings during the event and try to avoid one for some time afterward, they are the ones I find most erotic. Afterward, with a sore bottom for at least two days, I get excited replaying how strict Pam was and imaging myself over her lap getting my just desserts again.
If I’m warned in advance of a looming spanking, the nervous anticipation builds, a mix of excitement and dread. But if she wasn’t super strict and giving me ‘real’ spankings, that same level of excitement wouldn’t be there. It’s my wife’s strictness that makes it arousing.
I think that explains how punishment spankings are still erotic as well as any explanation I have heard. It’s the thought of being controlled.
For the OTK fans, here are 10 web images for you

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In that atmosphere, it was bound to be seen: through a window, after opening the wrong door. One of our neighbours had to cut her own switch.
Before I got married, Mother gave me the lecture we all got about the importance of disobeying our husbands and submitting to their punishments as they are responsible for us.
That’s why I’m not traumatized when people see Sean spank me. He does when and where I need it. But that’s us. I know some people might want to keep their DD private. I understand.
What concerns me is waiting until your not angry to spank your wife. I don’t want to step on any toes. But, even in anger, I think a man should have enough control to be able to spank his wife without abusing her. What’s the alternative? Waiting until you’re not angry? A cold, ritual that is not loving discipline but a duty on both sides?
If you are so angry you’re afraid to spank your wife, send her to a corner or a time out so at least the punishment, if not the spanking, should be immediate. If you’re in public, take her to the car, a men’s room, somewhere out of sight.
That is, in my opinion, more in the spirit of this lifestyle. And I would never try to push our practices on others. But I am considered the most obedient, well-behaved wife in our DD chapter.
And I can’t help but think knowing my husband might take me over his knee or make me grab my ankles for a paddling, send me to the corner, put my thumb in my mouth when I get sassy anywhere anytime has something to do with it.
As a disciplined wife and DD counsellor, I have had many husbands ask if it’s disciplined if the wife likes to be spanked. Some women are even guilty of”Bratting.” This is when the wife misbehaves purposely misbehaves to get a spanking. It is wrong, manipulative and compromises the integrity of the DD contract.
Any wife who does this should be punished firmly and by other methods, she does not enjoy such as corner time, early bedtime, or restriction from an activity she enjoys. And certainly, no HOH should use discipline his wife sexually. Real punishment in the bedroom is downright abuse.
However, I have some controversial views on the subject.
DD changes the dynamic of every area in the relationship between man and wife. Naturally, it’s going to affect the sexual area as well. I feel closer to my husband after being disciplined and forgiven. So, if a proper punishment leads to sex, I don’t see anything wrong with that.
If I may borrow from another poster, Caroline’s HOH uses diaper punishment. She doesn’t hate it. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be more docile and affectionate. In fact, she has said she loved being that dependent on him. But they are inconvenient. They are humbling, they keep her home, and he enjoys her behaviour during and afterwards. Everybody wins!
Using sex as a discipline is criminal. Using DD for sexual purposes is wrong. But again, if proper punishment leads to lovemaking, that’s ok. It’s what non-DD couples call makeup sex.
But, as Sean and Caroline have demonstrated, the point of punishment isn’t to make the wife miserable. It’s to correct behaviour and reinforce roles as to whom the disciplinarian and the disciplined is. As long as it accomplishes that, creating warm fuzzy feelings is not only ok, it’s wonderful.
I’ve never known of a happier couple than they seem to be.
It’s the wonder of the onesie. And it’s been added to the list of rules and policies I wear one every day without advanced request and permission.
The world’s gone so crazy, a man can’t even spank his own willing wife anymore without being accused of assault.
But Sean made me take off my skirt in the parking lot and shame, humble and completely owned by my husband.
He ordered one and was so happy, he ordered 10 more.
Spanking is easier. And he just had to leave it unsnapped and it shows my red bottom. But there’s more than that. Like I am more submissive, Sean is more dominating.
He almost never gives me permission to leave the room except to go to the bathroom. He corrects me if I don’t say, sir. And his lectures are totally different. He just says things like, “I am the HOH. That makes me the decision-maker, the rule maker and your disciplinarian. And you do what you’re told. That’s why you are a grown woman wearing a onesie I dress you in with your red bottom I just spanked showing. You’re going to stand in that corner and think about what you did”.
It’s not sexual. But our sex life has improved. He’s just so very manly. I didn’t even flinch when he asked me to model them for our DD friends.
I wouldn’t say no to my husband for anything!
Because pants proved inconvenient. He has never liked them, and I hadn’t worn them much. But he officially forbade them, and I boxed mine up to give to the thrift store.
A couple of days ago, I was at a friend’s house. We were going shopping. My skirt got caught on something, and there was a large, noticeable tear. All she had was, guess what?
And it’s shameful to say so now, but I didn’t see the harm in it. He was working. It wasn’t like he was going to spank or diaper me before I got home. Obviously, he saw us.
The look on his face..I could have handled anger or disapproval. He looked so hurt and betrayed. It occurred to me that while I had misbehaved, I’d never blatantly disobeyed my husband.
He didn’t come home until exactly at my bedtime. I was lying on the bed in position for him to put my diaper on. But I didn’t get to roll over and go to sleep. He told me to stand up.
He sat down, and while I stood there spent ten minutes telling me how disappointed he was, that if he hadn’t seen it he wouldn’t believe it. I started crying. My punishment was to wear a diaper indefinitely, including our next DD meeting and tell everyone why I was wearing it.
But I didn’t care about that. I disobeyed my husband. And if I was honest with myself, I didn’t know this woman very well. And I wasn’t ready to tell her my husband didn’t allow me to wear pants. So, now I am not allowed any more non-DD girlfriends unless he has met them and knows they understand what it is.
He had a T-shirt printed that says, “I Disobeyed My Husband.”. I became hysterical. I literally got on my knees, begging him not to make me wear that. I promised I would never disobey again. He took pity on me and said I didn’t have to wear it. “But know that it’s here.” I opened my mouth. He said, “I don’t want to hear a word out of you buy ‘Yes, Sir.'”
At our DD meeting, our counsellor asked why I didn’t want to wear the T-shirt. I said I was ashamed of disobeying my husband. He asked me why I was ashamed of telling my friend I obeyed my husband. I just stood there still holding up my skirt not knowing what to say.
At first, I thought I didn’t want to explain our lifestyle. But how long does it take to say, “My husband doesn’t let me wear pants,”? I had no answer.
Our counsellor said he knew me to be a well behaved, submissive, loving wife. That my transgression was significant. The punishment fit the crime. But I needed to think about my actions.
I still don’t know why. I love my husband. I’m proud to belong to him and happy to submit to him. I couldn’t undo what I did. But I could make it up or.try to him.
The next day, he came home to me in the yard wearing the shirt he had made with my diaper and short skirt. I had all my pants on a table with a sign that said, “Husband Won’t Let Me Wear Pants! Free Jeans!”
I’m not out of the woods yet. But he appreciated it. And I have a new appreciation for what this means. It’s more than a lifestyle. It’s a sacred covenant like our wedding vows. I have never believed marriage was a marriage if a woman couldn’t say obey and mean it. To be able to do so is beautiful. I forgot that for a minute. It won’t happen again.
Because of which pants proved inconvenient. He has never liked them and I hadn’t worn them much. But he officially forbade them and I boxed mine up to give to the thrift store.
A couple of days ago, I was at a friend’s house. We were going shopping. My skirt got caught on something and there was a large, noticeable tear. All she had was, guess what?
And it’s shameful to say so now, but I didn’t see the harm in it. He was working. It wasn’t like he was going to spank or diaper me before I got home. Obviously, he saw us.
The look on his face..I could have handled anger or disapproval. He looked so hurt and betrayed. It occurred to me that while I had misbehaved, I’d never blatantly disobeyed my husband.
He didn’t come home until exactly at my bedtime. I was lying on the bed in position for him to put my diaper on. But I didn’t get to roll over and go to sleep. He told me to stand up.
He sat down and while I stood there spent ten minutes telling me how disappointed he was, that if he hadn’t seen it he wouldn’t believe it. I started crying. My punishment was to wear a diaper indefinitely including our next DD meeting and tell everyone why I was wearing it.
But I didn’t care about that. I disobeyed my husband. And if I was honest with myself, I didn’t know this woman very well. And I wasn’t ready to tell her my husband didn’t allow me to wear pants. So, now I am not allowed any more non-DD girlfriends unless he has met them and knows they understand what it is.
He had a T-shirt printed that says, “I Disobeyed My Husband.”. I became hysterical. I literally got on my knees begging him not to make me wear that. I promised I would never disobey again. He took pity on me and said I didn’t have to wear it. “But know that it’s here.” I opened mouth. He said, “I don’t want to hear a word out of you buy ‘Yes, Sir.'”
At our DD meeting, our counsellor asked why I didn’t want to wear the T-shirt. I said I was ashamed of disobeying my husband. He asked me why I was ashamed of telling my friend I obeyed my husband. I just stood there still holding up my skirt not knowing what to say.
At first, I thought I didn’t want to explain our lifestyle. But how long does it take to say, “My husband doesn’t let me wear pants,”? I had no answer.
Our counsellor said he knew me to be a well behaved, submissive, loving wife. That my transgression was significant. The punishment fit the crime. But I needed to think about my actions.
I still don
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