Spanking Children

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Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved





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Spanking is a widely debated topic. Most experts advise against using corporal punishment, but some parents believe that spanking is an effective discipline strategy .


Other parents admit they have occasionally spanked their child—especially when they were feeling overly stressed. Whichever camp they belong to, all parents need to know and closely consider the potential consequences of physical punishment, including spanking.


Sometimes, parents spank their children out of desperation. When kids frequently misbehave, parents may feel as though they are at the end of their rope and aren’t sure what else to do. Parents in these situations might say, “Nothing else seems to work.”


Without a consistent discipline strategy, it might feel like spanking is the best option. While spanking may alter behavior in the short-term, it rarely has a positive effect in the long term. Studies have shown that spanking is ineffective and has detrimental consequences on child development. 1

Parents may rely on spanking to "fix" behavior problems without trying alternative discipline strategies—or giving those options enough time to work.

Another common reason parents spank is out of exasperation, impulse, or anger. A parent who reacts out of frustration ("I can't believe you just did that!") might spank a child without thinking.


If you don't know how else to discipline your child, spanking might become the first line of defense. While it might feel like a solution at the moment, spanking won't solve the problem or teach your child better behavior.


Many parents later regret striking their children. Spanking can also cause lasting damage to the parent-child relationship. 1


Various cultural groups have historically held the belief that spanking is part of their upbringing and cultural background. However, the negative impact remains the same. Also, corporal punishment habits are the residual impact of colonialism that has been adopted by many cultural groups.


"Colonialism brought these domineering parenting practices to our cultures," says Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillenbrand, a parent coach and founder of LatinxParenting . "This isn’t a part of our collective DNA. There is some historical evidence of Black and Brown families being engaged with corporal punishment. However, colonialism brought many of those strategies."


In addition to being an inadequate solution to behavioral problems, spanking a child can actually create more problems. The following are a few reasons spanking does not work to change a child's behavior.


A child who gets spanked for arguing with their sibling won't learn how to get along better in the future. Effective discipline teaches a child new skills and builds their competency and confidence. Spanking degrades trust and self-confidence, while only teaching a child what not to do.


Children do what parents do more than what they say. If you spank your child for hitting their sibling, for example, you're sending a confusing message. Studies have linked the experience of getting spanked to more aggressive behavior, mental health conditions, and other detrimental outcomes for the child (similar to the impact of being physically abused). 2


If they have been struck by a parent, a child might think, "I'm bad," and struggle with self-esteem, trust, and mental health issues. Children feeling shame are not motivated to improve their behavior and begin to feel that they cannot do better. 2


Hitting a child to modify their behavior tells them that they can't learn in a more positive way and don't deserve to be treated respectfully. Gentler discipline techniques are more effective while also building a kid's self-confidence.


Instead of helping your child think about what they could do better next time, spanking is more likely to make them angry at their parent . Kids in this situation begin to think in terms of “What can I do that won’t get me a spanking?” instead of “What’s the best choice I can make right now?” The spanking-avoidance dynamic can also encourage lying.


Sometimes, kids decide the misbehavior is “worth it.” They might even get "used to" corporal punishment, in which case it stops being a deterrent. A more effective discipline strategy includes understanding the reason for the behavior and having that conversation with the child in an authentic and open way. Punishment is about inflicting discomfort or pain, while discipline is about teaching and guiding.


If you have always used spanking to discipline your child, what will you do when they become a teen? Using physical punishment teaches kids that it's OK for the stronger person to hurt someone who does something that they don't like. Spanking employs shame and pain to discourage and punish rather than dealing with the root of the child's behavior. 1


According to a 2018 survey of pediatricians published in the journal Pediatrics , only 6% of the doctors surveyed endorsed spanking. Only 2.5% anticipated positive outcomes from the use of the discipline practice. 3 There are plenty of age-appropriate discipline strategies that you can use as an alternative to spanking throughout your child’s life.


Many discipline strategies are more effective than spanking. 3 You will want to consider alternative negative consequences that will reinforce your rules without hurting your child, such as removing privileges .


If your child colors on the walls, a logical consequence would be to have them wash the walls. This teaches them to have more respect for property. It also sends the message that their misbehavior will have consequences.


Restitution helps restore relationships and gives children the chance to learn new skills. The technique can be very effective for aggressive behavior and works well for children and teens of all ages.


Using praise to encourage positive behavior is another effective alternative to spanking. When you catch your child "doing good," make sure they know that you noticed. Kids tend to perform to parents' expectations. It is important that children's sense of self is not lost in parental expectations. Children need to develop a sense of pride in their own behavioral choices that is based on internal motivation, rather than external approval.


The goal of discipline should be to teach your child new skills that will give them the tools necessary to be a responsible adult. 3 Research shows that spanking is not an effective discipline strategy and has negative consequences—some of which can be lifelong.


When determining which discipline strategies to use, think about what you hope your child will gain from your intervention. Strategies like praise reward your child's positive behavior and build their confidence.


Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences


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Research has long underscored the negative effects of spanking on children’s social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development, but new research , published this month, shows that spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and increases perception of threats.
 
“The findings are one of the last pieces of evidence to make sense of the research of the last 50 years on spanking,” says researcher Jorge Cuartas , a Ph.D. candidate at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, who coauthored the study with Katie McLaughlin , professor at the Department of Psychology at Harvard University. “We know that spanking is not effective and can be harmful for children’s development and increases the chance of mental health issues. With these new findings, we also know it can have potential impact on brain development, changing biology, and leading to lasting consequences.”
 
The study, “ Corporal Punishment and Elevated Neural Response to Threat in Children ,” published in Child Development , examined spanked children’s brain functioning in response to perceived environmental threats compared to children who were not spanked. Their findings showed that spanked children exhibited greater brain response, suggesting that spanking can alter children’s brain function in similar ways to severe forms of maltreatment.
 
The study looked at 147 children, including some who were spanked and some who were not spanked in the beginning years of their lives, to see potential differences to the brain. By using MRI assessment, researchers observed changes in brain response while the children viewed a series of images featuring facial expressions that indicate emotional response, such as frowns and smiles. They found that children who had been spanked had a higher activity response in the areas of their brain that regulate these emotional responses and detect threats — even to facial expressions that most would consider non-threatening.
Perhaps surprisingly, says Cuartas, spanking elicits a similar response in children’s brains to more threatening experiences like sexual abuse. “You see the same reactions in the brain,” Cuartas explains. “Those consequences potentially affect the brain in areas often engaged in emotional regulation and threat detection, so that children can respond quickly to threats in the environment.”
“Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings."

While we tend to think of spanking as an “outdated” practice, it’s still an incredibly common form of discipline used among parents and even in schools — despite the research linking the practice to negative results. There are only 62 countries — not including the United States — with a ban on corporal punishment, Cuartas points out. Additionally, nearly one-third of parents in the United States report spanking their children every week, often to detrimental effects and implications.
“Preschool and school age children — and even adults — [who have been] spanked are more likely to develop anxiety and depression disorders or have more difficulties engaging positively in schools and skills of regulation, which we know are necessary to be successful in educational settings,” he says.
 
Cuartas offers three steps educators and caregivers can take toward eradicating spanking in schools and homes:
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