Spanking Boy Dad

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Spanking Boy Dad
About a month or more ago, a reader wrote with a question:

"I noted in one of ur earlier communications u remarked in passing
that u were in contact with some Amer. dads who spanked in the here
and now too. If it's okay, I'd be interested in ur forwarding their
notes to you, expurgated re: their names and locales as u think appropriate.
I can assure you I would never contact them, but I know, for peace
of mind, you may want to take out names and emails. I bet other readers
would like to know too about dads who u hear from."

He's right about my not being willing to share names and e-mails
from men who spank their sons, mostly teenagers and early twenties,
in America (or elsewhere) and who have written, but I don't mind sharing
what I know. For those who might be interested, read on.

Over the years, more families have written that I would have expected
and it's typically been more often the father. Sometimes the mother
(often a divorcee) has written and sometimes both parents write on
a question or observation or two. If the writer sounds sincere and
up front and proves to be over time, I have corresponded with them
or we've spoken on the phone and on rare occasions as travel permits,
I have met a variety of "Dads" American and other nationalities too
(including some uncles, step dads, and grand dads, too) who believe
in not "sparing the rod" when it comes to their sons. While some find
this topic embarrassing and controversial in America, you'd be surprised
at how many men talk with others men about this subject and thus they
are more than open to share when they meet or are introduced to a
"kindred spirit" especially initially through e-mail.

To unfairly lump together those I've heard from or talked to over
the years, it would be fair to say they are often well educated and
upper middle class or above and their overwhelming concern is to insure
their teenage or above boy does not get caught in something that negatively
limits his future. They have been genuine wanting to spank the boy
but not "damage" him, to guide him but not to scare him away from
them forever, to help him change and understand things have changed
but to do so positively. Some had been spanked themselves growing
up but others had not. All were at the point that they knew something
had to be done and things had to chance quickly. "Groundings" or taking
away privileges were not working for them in their situation.

The moms who have written have typically been divorcees, bringing
up a teenage boy alone, also knowing something had to change, but
very timid about spanking.

Uncles, step dads, and grand dads, curiously, have tended to write
about teenage boys they, for various reasons, found themselves with
responsibility for, but in many cases the boy had been brought up
"on the other side of the tracks," let's say, and in a family where
the strap and alcohol were common and ultimately where responsibility
of the boy moved to the uncle, step dad or grand dad ultimately. They
wanted to turn things around quickly, before it was too late.

I don't mean to imply the above generalizes, or anything below,
to anything beyond those who have written, nothing more.

One of the more interesting men was the guy who happened to be
vacationing with his boy in the same resort condominium at which I
was vacationing with Larry on Maui years back. The conservation began
casually when we both realized we were tossing Frisbee's to two teenage
boys who would have done much better tossing them at each other without
either of us around! After awhile, we headed for a drink; the boy's
began tossing that Frisbee together. He first mentioned it was difficult
handling a boy "that age" and I simply mentioned that Larry was no
problem.

"why not?," he looked at me as if I was crazy. "They're impossible
to control and discipline at that age."

Well, that might have been his experience, but it wasn't mine and
for some reason I told him.

"Not Larry," I replied, looking out at them still tossing that
stupid blue plastic thing. "We don't spend a lot of time arguing about
things because if he screws up I'll spank him."

The other man looked shocked. He was quiet for a fairly long period
of time.

"Now that's what Joe needs, I know. I've thought about it but just
have never been able to do it."

Over the course of the two weeks we were there, he brought it up
a couple of other times, often in the context of commenting on Larry
and how close the two of us were and things like that. He brought
it up, I didn't ever after that first afternoon.

The up shot of the vacation was that Joe got his first ever spanking
by the end of that time in that Maui Condo on N. Bay. Though Joe wasn't
any to happy about that fact, he did learn that when Dad says it's
time to get out of those shorts and get over Dad's knees that Joe's
going to get his bare bottom spanked and arguing or talking isn't
going to change the spanking that's coming. Joe's Dad changed during
that vacation. Joe got the first spanking of his life in that vacation
Condo but it wasn't his last.

We have all stayed in contact. Actually Larry and Joe became friends
but Joe learned to stop arguing and start listening to his Dad. Joe
also thereafter spent a fair among of time over his Dad's lap learning
those lessons and getting them right. You can't expect one spanking
will immediately set everything straight with a boy like Joe who was
more into hanging out and only doing what was necessary to just get
by in school.

It all started with a fairly casual conversation that just happened.

On one occasion it was the boy himself, Chris, who wanted me to
meet his Dad after we got to know each other and Chris wanted to visit
Europe over his Spring High School Break. That was before I'd ever
spanked Chris. I've never meet anyone quite like young Chris' Father
(Melvin) before. Mel, an accountant, still tries to use that old green
ping pong paddle on Chris and his brothers and he still cannot seem
to get it quite right. Talk about bumbling! Chris is still in College
and Mel's still trying (and screwing it up, but you already know that
if you're read those "stories," which like all I've written are non-fiction).

The kinds of questions that come by e-mail over the years have
been fairly consistent:

"What kinds of things do you spank him for?" Answer: Whatever rules
you've set and gone over them with well in advance and that they know
clearly you will punish them for if they break them. Some men do spank
boys for other reasons, but initially, stick to the rules and enforce
them the old fashioned way.

"Do you spank him for little things like coming in late on a no
school the next day night?" Answer: If you tell him to be in by midnight
and he comes in later unless there's been a problem like the car breaking
down and he's called you, yes, the moment he does come in you remind
him of the rule and when you both agree he's late, then you unbuckle
his belt, take down his jeans and briefs, and spank him across your
lap.

"Do you always spank him bare?" Answer: Yes. He'll get the point
faster and clearer. You will be less likely to damage his white bare
bottom plus the older the teenage boy is, the less likely he'll try
it again. A teenage boy's bare bottom, when he's forced across your
lap, is a powerful way to get his attention and change his behaviour.

"Doesn't that embarrass and humiliate him to the point that you
break your relationship with him and he comes to hate you? Answer:
Not around here it never has. To the contrary, the boy's spanked in
the context of the relationship and the relationship you are building
with him has got to be good, but he's also got to knows you are the
boss and he's going to be spanked if he does something he's not suppose
to and so you do it.

"What if he starts crying?" Answer: Rarely have I spanked one of
my boys who didn't cry. In fact, it's when he start to sniffle and
cry over your lap that you know you're reaching him and that when
the spanking begins as you're spanking him to make sure he never does
it again.

"What do you do? You just keep slapping his butt?" Answer: No,
you never just "keep slapping his butt." When your boy's up over your
lap, he's going to clench his buns for all he's worth partly from
knowing what you're looking at and partly just because it's natural.
You want his toes pointing "in" which will relax his buns some and
then your use your hand or knee between his thighs to relax him more
so what you right hand is slapping in that fleshy lower part of his
bare bottom, near where his thigh joins. A few well placed slaps right
there (and I realize you need to practice to learn how to do this)
and he'll be wiggling and responding to his spanking quickly. It has
nothing to do with hitting him hard and causing maximum "pain." What
you're doing is slapping his bare bottom slowly down there, sharply,
but slowly, then letting your hand cup his bun while you're talking
to him, forbidding him and preventing him from clenching his buns
so you can spank him. The first time you spank a teenage boy he'll
clench furiously and have trouble doing this, but over time he will
learn because you're going to continue spanking him until he does.
Usually, when he begins to sob, his emotions will burst loose and
he'll let go with all his tension. You'll be amazed what a difference
it makes when this happens. Then you can spank him. But his bare bottom
does not need beaten, just spanked, well and thoroughly down there,
no bruises, where it will do him the most good. He may holler, beg,
promise, cry, even yell and scream, but just let him. This is a very
personal moment for your boy. You just spank him and over time, short
time, he'll learn you're serious and you see major improvement rapidly
all around.

"What do you do if he does do it again?" Answer: Teenage boys often
have short memories. It's not "if" but "when" he does it again and
as soon as that happens, down come his jeans and briefs while he's
apologizing and promising it wont happen ever again. While he's assuring
and reassuring you of that, you take him over your lap and spank him.
There are no "second chances."

"Do you really make a teenage boy make a punishment paddle and
make him carry it along when you go on vacations and over night things?"
Answer: Yes, and I've been known to use it on him in a hotel room
when he needed it, even if the hotel's walls were rather thin.

"How long or how much do you spank him?" Answer: I spank him until
he's in tears and I'm sure he understand clearly, but after that,
holding him and talking with him and re-building the relationship
can take any way from two hours up. No question. It takes time to
spank a boy right.

In my own answering those same above questions over and over again,
what has always stuck out in my mind about all those Dads who have
asked them, over the years is that the men were all, without a single
exception I can think of, dedicated to their boy or boys and wanting
to do whatever they could without fail to keep the boy out of the
wrong group or peers with negative influence, away from any substance
abuse, and assisting the boy to maximize his own potential.

The other thing that sticks out among all the parents is that all
of them -- even if they lacked education themselves -- valued good
academic grades and saw grades as a major criteria. Dropping out is
not an option.

But, the specific men referred to above have been Whites, Blacks,
Hispanics, American, Polish, South African, other Eastern European
Immigrants, and Europeans as well as Asians.

The only ones I've ever met or heard from who brought up, or in
one way or another, expressed interest in the switch were British
or of British ancestry in America. French in the US or Quebec typically
have preferred a small strap, or at least so goes my e-mail.

Those corresponding currently, who write periodically via e-mail,
more typically speak as a friend -- "so how are you and where are
you these days?" A casual review of what's going on in their lives
and who's doing what and where and please keep in touch and let's
get together the next time you're in town" (which I never am) is not
unusual. Then they talk about the boy or what they want to know (and
that's fine). Those who have been writing for a longer time and have
already picked up the challenged and spanked their boy soundly, like
the others too, say they have no regrets and it worked. On the contrary,
they still spank them when necessary (as do I with Larry when necessary)
though over time the issues change and the boys learn how to produce
and listen and consequently are spanked less often. That's as it should
be.

The awareness that the boy will be spanked if he screws up is something
the boy never forgets.

Coincidentally I heard from one of them last night. He did tell
me about
having had to dust off the old paddle and put it into action again.
He was
disappointed at needing to, but it related to the boy's having been
taken before the University's disciplinary board on some kind of conduct
or something like that. What's really funny about this particular
boy, however, is that the boy also writes to me (I showed him how
to get into that particular college). Though I haven't heard, at least
not yet, the boy's side, knowing the boy, I probably will some day
soon.

In general, Dads who write ultimately do decide on the wisdom of
reverting to corporal punishment on their errant boy's bare bottoms
and apply it effectively. I know that because they would usually be
so uptight about their decision that after they actually did spank
the boy they were so pleased with themselves and the results that
they would almost always immediately call or write to tell me so.
Typically they've said something like they "made the right decision."

In the case of these men, what their son's usually got was a good
long spanking, though sometimes a paddling. With some Dads who have
waited this long, they usually are more comfortable and successful
with the paddle than spanking the teenage boy the first time by hand.
Interesting, I always thought, but why the paddle would be only speculation
on my part.

One twenty year old boy I remember very well. His father, President
of a NYC firm on the NY Stock Exchange, after a great deal of wringing
his hands over his son's behavior and pulling him out of jail for
alcohol-related small stuff constantly, finally decided to go with
him up to their summer house in Connecticut one weekend to give talk
one more try. But his communication with his boy was so poor by then
that he was got no where and instead got mad, forced the boy to strip
completely, and used his belt on the boy. The Dad was so pleased with
the resulting change in the boy's behavior that I recall specifically
his question as to where to purchase a razor strap in New York City!
From then on that Dad kept that razor strap in the dining room china
chest and used it regularly on the boy, having him strip and bend
over the dining room table. This man, being older and considerably
well off, was a widower with a son who refused to get his act together
but was dependent on his father for money. The man's since passed
away. I still know the son, who's done very well for himself and will
openly tell you how grateful he is that his Dad finally had had enough
and picked up that belt that weekend and used it on him.

The most bizarre was a Los Angeles Dad who wanted to bring his
14 year over to be spanked and paddled and wanted to watch. That didn't
happen. No way!

But most of the men who have written have been realistic and used
corporal punishment on the teenage boy fairly and benefited the boy.
As I said above, I'm aware of none who have regretted it.

And for those who still might wonder. Joe's Dad mentioned that
he spanked Joe a couple of weeks ago. For sure, bare bottom over his
lap again and it seems to have worked again.

And, yes, even Larry still is not to old to get his own Levi's
and briefs taken down and go across my own lap for a spanking. He
last got his own bare fanny spanked on Sunday the 13th and although
he was none too happy about it when I started to unbuckle his own
belt to strip him and give him a good long one that he really needed,
he understood why he got it. He's fine now. Well, maybe still a tiny
bit red and a bit bruised in his ego, but he's fine.

Larry still understand the meaning of "Dad'll spank." Your son
or boy will understand too, if you care enough to teach him.


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Although I got my bottom tanned by Mom growing up, Dad wasn’t above giving me corporal punishment himself. For this job, he kept an old leather tool belt, which was a couple of inches wide and had all its pockets removed.
I am the oldest of four, with a sister two years younger and brothers five and eight years younger. By the time the older of the two boys was born, Mom had stepped aside from her classroom teacher career and was a full-time stay-at-home mother. I would estimate that 90 per cent of our spankings at home came from her.
The overwhelming majority of spankings from Mom even went unreported to Dad and he never knew that most of them had even happened. There was never a ‘wait until your father gets home’ with mom – she took care of business and we all carried on afterwards, and it might never even be on his radar.
Now, Dad did spank, though his tended to be much more impromptu and for ‘line of sight’ type of things, like ‘screwing around’ with his power tools (the older boy), breaking the neighbours’ lawn mower (the younger boy) or running down the battery of his truck by playing with the electric seats (my sister).
On occasion, though, Mom might feel an incident was serious enough that he needed to know about it too. An encounter with Dad was the nuclear option in our house, and on those times when Mom had informed him of some particularly egregious thing we had done, it was after she had already taken us across her knee for a dose of paddle or hairbrush to our bare bottoms. Now, we would be faced with his wrath as well as hers – and his wrath was definitely to be avoided.
Dad’s old leather tool belt was one his own father had worn – and had used to discipline my father and his siblings. It was permanently creased over, firm but supple, and in his hands a truly fearsome implement. He never used it in ang
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