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More than 50 years of research points to the same conclusion.
Chelsi Silvey was holiday shopping when her daughter, then almost 5, had a category-five meltdown. Christmas was just a few weeks away, Silvey rationalized, so she wasn't about to buy a new toy — shiny as it was — and hand it right over. "When I put her in the car, she kicked me and threw her car seat at me," Silvey recalls. "I was so taken back by her behavior and I didn't know what to do, so I spanked her."
Silvey is part of the majority of American parents who believe in spanking. About 75% of Americans say that "it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard, spanking," according to a 2016 survey of over 60,000 people from the University of Chicago.
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A more recent Huffington Postpoll found that 69% of participants disagreed with a South African court's ruling that made spanking children illegal. Even the Bible says it's okay: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son," states Book of Proverbs 13:24.
When parents like Silvey explain why they spank, they almost always caveat it. "Spanking is the very, very last thing I will do, and only with my hand and never, never with an object," Silvey says. Another parent, Samie Gouveia, explains, "It should only be done as a last resort if time-outs and speaking are not cutting it, and obviously not hard enough to leave a mark."
But while recent surveys are clear, experts are urging parents to reconsider.
"Spanking is a euphemism for hitting," says developmental psychologist Elizabeth Gershoff, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at the University of Texas at Austin. "We convince ourselves that hitting children is okay."
In other words, while many parents keep corporal punishment in their disciplinary toolbox, there's still something that feels wrong about it. The research explains why: Spanking does have serious long-term effects, and we need to be talking about it.
"Spanking actually makes children worse behaved over the long term," Gershoff says. "They actually get harder to parent."
Last year, she and Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, an associate professor at the University of Michigan School of Social Work, used information on more than 160,000 children over a 50-year period to publish a meta-analysis in theJournal of Family Psychology on the effects of spanking. The results were fairly damning: Spanking was associated with aggression, antisocial behavior, mental health problems, low self-esteem, negative parent-child relationships, impaired cognitive ability, externalizing behavior problems, internalizing behavior problems and low moral internalization. A whopping 99% of the statistically significant data showed a link between spanking and a detrimental child outcome.
Another study of more than 8,300 people, published last month by the University of Michigan, found that adults who were spanked as children were more likely to feel depressed, attempt suicide, drink heavily or use illegal drugs.
Gershoff points to two popular theories on why corporal punishment seems to have such unintended effects. First: Parents model aggression when they resort to spanking, and children learn by example. The lesson is that hitting is a way to get what you want, especially when Mom and Dad aren't around.
The other centers on what's called hostile attribution bias. Kids begin to question whether people — including their parents — always have their best interests at heart. "They become very cautious in interactions with other people and they kind of assume the worse," Gershoff explains.
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In the long run, it may not only change how they interact with the world, but how their stress systems get activated. Some researchers hypothesize this kind of stress, called "toxic stress," can cause mental and even physical harm by affecting brain structure.
"Spanking is not as a bad as physical abuse," Gershoff clarifies. "It's a continuum, but all of the research suggests it's activating the same kind of problems that physical abuse does."
To people who were spanked as a child, the reasoning can sound far-fetched. After all, most of us turned out fine — right? But child development experts say that's in spite of spanking, not because of it. Gershoff's example: Baby boomers and Gen X-ers "turned out fine" without car seats, but most grandparents would never drive off without strapping kids in them now.
Sociologists have observed a small but steady decline in the acceptance of spanking. The University of Chicago survey has asked people to evaluate that same statement — "it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard, spanking" — for 31 years, and agreement has fallen 12% since first asking the question in 1986.
"When we know better, we need to do better," states psychologist Vanessa Lapointe, Ph. D., author of Discipline Without Damage.
To get your point across without hitting, focus on building a solid relationship with your child first, she says. When kids feel a strong attachment, they actually want to please their parents. While they may not always deliver (because they're, you know, kids), they will come to terms with the rules.
"It's stepping into your role as adult, defining what the boundary is and holding that boundary with firmness but also compassion and kindness," Lapointe says. "It's as simple as saying, 'No, and I know you're upset,' or 'No, and I understand your frustration.'"
Kids will have tantrums. They're not supposed to have the maturity of an adult, and if you're like Chelsi Silvey, you'll know from personal experience that spanking doesn't solve them.
"I try to find better ways," she says, "Most of the time just talking to her works — no bashing, but asking her if there are other ways she could've handled the situation differently."
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Posted September 8, 2013 | Reviewed by Matt Huston
In a new article, “Spanking and Child Development: We Know Enough Now to Stop Hitting Our Children,” Elizabeth Gershoff reviews recent research on spanking.
Spanking is defined by Gershoff as “hitting a child on the bottom with an open hand” (p. 133). Parents generally use spanking in order to reduce undesirable behavior, but does it work?
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Researchers have looked at effects on three undesirable behaviors in children who are spanked: noncompliance in the short term, noncompliance in the long term, and aggression. This area is hard to study in the home, because spanking rarely occurs in front of strangers. It is hard to study in the laboratory because of the prohibition against hurting subjects.
Nevertheless, some studies have been done. In one set of analyses with young children in the laboratory, time-outs worked just as well as spanking for (immediate) subsequent compliance on 30 tasks assigned by the mother. Long-term compliance is decreased after spanking (Gershoff, 2002; Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2013).
In terms of whether parental aggression (spanking) decreases aggression in the child, the answer is no. In fact, spanking may increase child aggression: “Spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression over and above initial levels [of aggressive behavior]” and “in none of these longitudinal studies did spanking predict reductions in children’s aggression over time” (p. 134). Instead, spanking predicted increases in children’s aggression.
Why is spanking ineffective for changing behavior in the long term?
Approaching this from a behaviorist perspective, conditioning by punishment (pain) requires that the consequence always occur immediately after every instance. When you touch a hot stove with a bare hand, you get burned, period. This does not occur with the behaviors parents spank for — parents are often not around to see them, or are not willing or able to spank immediately afterwards.
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Why is spanking ineffective for increasing desirable behavior?
Spanking does not convey positive guidance on how to behave in a particular situation, only how not to behave if a threat of punishment is at hand. Children learn positive behaviors from practicing actions that work, ones that lead to a sense of belonging and competence. They internalize what they practice and what their family practices. They learn reasons for their actions from what they hear and are told, but active practice has the deepest impact.
It undermines trust. Children trust their parents just a little less. They are more likely to step back from the relationship and build a self-protective shield around themselves in terms of relationships generally. Children may learn to mistrust the motives of others and become more threat-reactive in social situations.
Does the ethnicity or culture of the family matter?
No. Longitudinal studies suggest that spanking may increase aggression in a child no matter their background or what the common practices of their community are (see Berlin et al., 2009; Gershoff et al., 2012).
If you are a parent, or plan to be a parent, and want to learn to not use spanking, HERE is a place for resources to help you.
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More information: Check out a fellow blogger's post on how spanking could harm the brain and more HERE .
NEW BOOK: To read more about the importance of early development for optimal development, see the forthcoming book, Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality : Evolution, Culture and Wisdom .
NOTE ON BASIC ASSUMPTIONS : When I write about parenting, I assume the importance of the evolved developmental niche (EDN) for raising human infants (which initially arose over 30 million years ago with the emergence of the social mammals, and has been slightly altered among human groups based on anthropological research).
The EDN is the baseline I use for determining what fosters optimal human health, well-being and compassionate morality. The niche includes at least the following: infant-initiated breastfeeding for several years, nearly constant touch, responsiveness to needs so the young child does not get distressed, playful companionship, multiple adult caregivers, positive social support, and natural childbirth.
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All these characteristics are linked to health in mammalian and human studies (see Narvaez, Panksepp, Schore & Gleason, 2013 , for a review.) Thus, shifts away from the EDN baseline are risky. My comments and posts stem from these basic assumptions.
Berlin, L.J., Ispa, J.M., Fine, M.A., Malone, P.S., Brooks-Gunn, J., Brady-Smith, C., et al. (2009). Correlates and consequences of spanking and verbal punishment for low-income White, African American, and Mexican American toddlers. Child Development, 80, 1403-1420.
Gershoff, E.T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and association behaviors and experiences: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539-579.
Gershoff, E. T. (2013). Spanking and child development: We know enough now to stop hitting our children. Child Development Perspectives, 7 (3), 133-137.
Gershoff, E.T., & Grogan-Kaylor, A. (2013). Spanking and its consequences for children: New meta-analyses and old controversies. Manuscript under review.
Gershoff, E.T., Lansford, J.E., Sexton, H.R., Davis-Kean, P.E., & Sameroff, A.J. (2012). Longitudinal links between spanking and children’s externalizing behaviors in a national sample of White, Black, Hispanic, and Asian American families. Child Development, 83, 838-843.
Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame and the former executive editor of the Journal of Moral Education.
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The pursuit of calm can itself become a major stressor, especially if you've already tried the standard prescriptions. But there is a path through this conundrum.

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