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My brother is 14 and is a bully at school and with our little sister (she's 10). My mother is really upset and some months ago decided to start spanking him again like when he was younger, this time using a belt to be more effective. Last time he bullied my sister and she asked to spank him by herself. He objected and complained but my mother agreed because she said humiliation is a good way to correct him, so forced my brother to bend over the sofa and while holding him down let my sister spank him. She hit him with the belt really hard (I didn't expect so much strength) and my mother had to stop her after a while because it was too painful and my brother yelled and almost cried and now he almost can't stay seated.
I find this punishment really inappropriate, but talking with my friends everyone seems to agree with my mother because it's a good way to change his behaviour (in fact at the moment he's behaving really well). What do you think?
My mother let my little sister spank my bullying brother. Do you find this punishment inappropriate?
Probably i’m going against the tide, but i think your mom did the right thing. You can’t change a bully just having a talk with him or removing his privilegies: he’ll look at the punishment as a challene (you can do what you want but i’m not changing). A bully is very proud of himself so you have to destroy his pride humiliating him. Now getting spanked by his little sister he used to bully, groaning and crying because of the pain is really embarrassing and humiliating for him. This time he’s the victim and feels how terrible it is, he’ll do everything to avoid this humiliation in the future, so it’s a good motivation to change his behaviour. And also for the little sister is good, now she won’t be scared of him because she knows she can make him cry if he bullies her again.
I agree. A boy who bullies girls deserves this punishment at the least.
210 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
To be honest, if she had to spank him when he was younger and is bully at school then something is not working at home. All hitting does is increase bullying behaviors.
Have you try talking to her about other alternatives such as removing privileges from him or removing his Internet usuages and him only having limited access to school assignments only?
Hmm, this is interesting. I usually think it's terrible that adults hit kids, but a 10 year old hitting an older sibling? That's actually pretty funny. I think it's terrible your MOM hit him, but if I were in the little sister's place, I'd have liked to hit him too. You might want to consider telling your mom not to use a belt anymore though.
It might foster distrust in your brothers heart towards your mother. a mother is trusted by their children as completely loving. any other kind of violence would have been forgotten sooner. but spanking? . forgive my presumption. but it will look sexual harrasment. its basically saying your younger sister is lower than you but its because its a girl doing it your ruined sexually by some third person and that your mom won't care about it. three women ganging up on a 14 year old boy and spanking him with a belt until he cries. seems like a scene from some weirdos femdom p*rn scene fantasy. only a mother is allowed to spank her children not someone else.
Really no one should, but this is exceptionally twisted
Well, spanking doesn't get a child no where and really makes things worse
your mom is best to get him counseling, have someone talk to you like police officer
i know a woman who had a kid who wouldn't listen she took him to the police and
that's the only thing that helped him but spanking is not the answer to the problem.
Your mother has shifted the hierarchical power balance of the family indefinitely and she can throw away any hope of wanting a meaningful parental and child relationship with her bully son. There is a reason kids become bullies and most of the time that reason lies at home, the way that this was dealt with as described by this post shows that the reason most likely lied at home. Has the little sister ever been spanked, if not the bully brother probably believes that he is unloved as he used to be and still is punished a lot harsher. Spanking is never a solution, it's like brushing the rubbish under the carpet where it is not visible, it is still there and one day he will either look for vengance or cut all ties with his mother as soon as legally possible.
I believe it should be the parents doing not the sibling because it throws the heirarchal chain out of balance and in taming one child she could make the other worse because she now says it's ok for her to hit people.
So your mom uses violence to try to convince your brother not to be violent? A little ironic, eh?
Simply child abuse, there's no mention of a father, but if it's like 70% of households there is no father. And as the house is matriarchal I suspect is also misandristic.
Child Protective Services should be notified. Teaching the younger child that it's okay, and/or encouraged to hit her brother is abuse on too many levels to count.

Glad this was posted anonymously, cause I'd track it down and CPS would visit. This mother needs prison time!!!
91 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Psychology would say that her idea is the worst idea and will lead to your brother having a greater chance of having mental health problems, violent outbursts and substance abuse issues.
104 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Studies show that changing behavior through positive reinforcement works miles and miles better than through negative reinforcement. He's learning to not misbehave for fear of the pain. Instead he should learn to act like a good person and learn that good behavior begets rewards.
This. Although I'm surprised they had to analyze this through scientific studies, considering it's kinda obvious.
2.5K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.
Spanking is violence.
Educating children by spanking learns them violence is an accepted way to reach an aim.
That sounds like a really loving and nurturing family. Or maybe not.
It's clearly insanity.
Lol @ all these opinions seriously? U rather not spank him and teach him a lesson about not doing it again? Sumtimes word isn't enough to scare him so u need actions. Whip dat mudda effort so he knows not to do it next time cuz if he does, he will definitely feel extreme pain baby ;3
Don't agree. The fact that he has already been spanked in the past and is right now a bully... doesn't that tells you something? I fail to see how does hitting a teen with a belt (yes, that's hitting to me) gets them to learn that hitting is not ok? That seems so ironic and a twisted way of teaching you not to do something but the person that's supposely ''teaching you'' is not only hitting you but humiliating you.
More than likely he's going to bully someone else at school behind this mother and sister's back.
@Vesuvius87 look, I've been spank all ma life as a kid and have it even worse. Been spank with belts, fly swatter, sticks, broom stick and what not. That definitely teaches me sum real good lessons to behave more. The reason why i dont have bad behaviour as before is cuz i dont wanna get ma ass spank so i behave in a good manner. Getting spank is definitely a way to get ur act together. Lecturing isn't enough to scare him of not doing it again. I always do it again if ma parents juz lecture thats why they whoop ma azz and i stop doing it cuz that scares me. The pain that they inflict on me.. so i stop behaving badly cuz i dont wanna get ma ass spank. U get it?
Basically you're just scared of getting hit otherwise but deep inside you do want to do it again elsewhere, just not get caught. That would be enough to tell me you haven't actually learned at all nor actually feel guilty due to your own conscious; you're just obeying out of fear not because you feel it yourself it's wrong and know why besides getting hit.
For instance I'll give you an example: I've lied to my father long ago about failing 3-4 classes in college. Had I told him, he would have stopped paying for my education. Now I'm studying a different major but yes till this day do still feel guilty about it and it has nothing to do with getting hit. I feel bad I did that because lying and esp to your parents and on something important is wrong.
Off course this time I'm paying it myself but when I finish this major, do plan on returning to the previous one, pay it myself as well too and finish it.
@Vesuvius87 Thats why spanking teach u a life long lessons of not doing it again. U will get use to the behavior that u have been spanking for. And no i dont feel guilty at all. What they do is right cuz i deserve to get ma azz soank for the horrible things i have commited. If ma dad wasn't their to spank ma azz and let meh running lose, i wouldve gone wild out there. For example if u dont have anyone like a father to keep u in chk and its juz ur mum taken care of her son, he won't be scare of his mum cuz he know his mum can't do shiat right? Thats why we have a father to keep us in chk. Words isn't enough to teach sumone a lesson but action does. See why criminals go to jail instead of being lectured? Jail is their punishment so they'll be afraid of going to jail again so they won't commit another crime cuz jail is a horrible place to be in. Lecture isn't enough to keep those criminals in chk but action does ;3
Well being charged for a crime you commit and jail is a natural consequence (just like getting fired for coming late all the time to work or talking back to your manager). Getting hit isn't. Another factor to come to mind, don't you think there are kids that actually are of a mild, docile temper that can deal with in another way? What about the shy, quiet kids that can easily get scared of a slightly raised voice? After all not every child will be just like you.
And exactly you don't feel guilt at all; that was my point; you haven't actually really learned and it's all about just obeying out of fear (respect isn't the same as fear). I do feel guilt about lying to my father and as mentioned, do plan on making up for it.
The shy and quiet kids be causing trouble really? LOL! I dont think someone who is shy have the guts to put themself out there.-.
Yas kids under the 5yrs of age shouldn't be whoop with objects but juz gentle hit to scold them but kids above the age of 6 is different. They can take hits and they should get teach sum lessons by spanking them so they won't do it again. If they are not scare, they will continue to commit such horrible act am i correct? Since there's no one to keep him in chk so he will continue on his bad behavior. If ur not scared of anything, u will continue ur relentless behavior. Simple as that. Getting yo azz spank will put u in chk for good ;3
@Vesuvius87 u just dont get it do u? I said dat with time, u will get use to the behavior that ur parent is spanking u for. It is both outta fear and and obedience. That fear is what makes u become obedient. What would u do to ur son if ur lectures doesn't work on him? What else will u refer to? I dont think lying has anything to do with this. I feel guilty too if i did lie to my parents but this isn't the same as lying. Its a whole different story if u ask. And why do u think i haven't learned? I learned it from my parents by spanking ma azz. Even without them, ill still live the same respectable lifethe way ma parents taught meh by spanking ma azz cuz i got use to the behavior. Without ma parents spanking ma azz and i have no fear of ma parents spanking ma azz, i wouldve still been oit there running wild but its all thanks to those azz whooping dat i have become a good boi. Believe it or not, don't know if u have experience what i have experience but its true story of ma life.
My parents have never hit me in my life, and I'm not horrible. I've never done drugs, alcohol, or have ever been sexual with a boy, although I'm a senior in highschool. I don't do dangerous things because of common sense, not because I'm scared of my own family hitting me... I don't agree with you at all. I'm shy when I first meet people, but otherwise I'm totally social and I don't like it when people try impose what they think I should do on me, especially from kids my own age. I never did the things you did because there are just really basic and logical reasons, NOT to do them.
And LOL, I really doubt that someone who had pink kitty ears in their profile pic was 'running wild'
@heartsblooddupre yas sum have commn sense and sum dont. i see kids misbehave all the time cuz their parents doesn't give them sum good azz whoopin'. i agree my dad as well. extreme decipline can make even the baddest person become a good person. my nephews is also like that cuz the are spoil little bratz who doesn't get spank for their behaviors and when they came to our house, they always mess shiat up and i see kids like that everywhere. at that age more more mature than any of them cuz of my father strict decipline. i admit i hate the azz wbooping and the things he has done on me... well thats life u can say. i dont think i wouldn't be the person i am today without the strict decipline from ma father.
I've nvr done any drugs or none of that either. even partying and get drunk and laid.
im a good boi and i want a good gurl like u :3
good gurls are really rare these days :c
All I know is if I were to have a child and you hit him with a belt or an object because he/she has to learn through fear, I wouldn't hesitate on reporting you. Like I'm going to just stand there and agree to a guy with a limited vocabulary usage and obviously terrible grammar is going to just hit my child and I'm going to be happy about it!
@Vesuvius87 lel do u even have to question ma intelligence mummy?
no i wouldn't spank ma kids either unless he if is stubborn and done sumthing really terrible. they spank us cuzthey luv us and want us to behave instead of misbehaving. they spank us out of luv. i have seen countless times that through lecturing isn't enough to stop them from wha they are doing and i have come to believe my fathers decipline. its usually depend on the individual and how unerstanding u taught him but sumtimes that doesn't work. worse case scenario is to refer to sum azz kickin' babay! ;D
@KeySpirits If I ever have kids, I would want them to not do dangerous things because they logically understand that it's harmful, not because they're scared... What if they're in a dangerous situation and they don't know how to get out of it because they're so used to being in fear or listening to whoever dominating them? Being in fear isn't good at all when you're dealing with a bully, or a dangerous adult.

I have cousins that act like the kids in your family. My cousins act the way they do because of the situation they're living in, which isn't what I would even remotely call healthy or safe. Even if they acted perfectly, it wouldn't solve anything. I'm not saying acting psycho solves anything, but at least it's honest.
@heartsblooddupre it is not sumthing dangerous that will cost them their life.. its the bad things that they do like bothering ppl, gets in fight, stubborn/argues back a lot etc. those kids really need sum serious decipline cuz talken it ut will juz make it worse and it will go on and on forever. being fear outta obedient is the best possible way when they dont listen to u nicely and kept doinv the same shiat overand ove again right? whatever u say won't get intotheir mind thats why u gottavshow ur dominance by whoopin their azz and make them more obedience. i myself believe that the cruel a person is, the more u can control everything and the mor respect u will have. im talken all from my experinces. got any experinces on this field?
It was really hard to read what you wrote Yeah, I've seen plenty of kids who act that way, and quite a few in my own family, like I said. I'm really surprised you like cruelty and controlling attitudes in people... you don't look like that kind of person. And you proved my point: Kids will submit themselves to dangerous people and situations MORE, if you're cruel to them, because they'll be used to it already.

Anyway, if you honestly think it's pointless to NOT hit or dominate them, then what if you just took away all of the cellphones and electronic stuff? And if their behavior is so terrible, why not just remove them from the house temporarily, or tell them not to visit? My cousins do 90% of their bad behavior via texting and online, and they don't visit my house
@heartsblooddupre glad i prove ur point
and no.. its not about electronic devices and all that. u dont read my sentences carefully do u. its usuallyvinvolve in crime, thefts, fights, arguments, persistent and stubborn to change their behviors etc. it doesn't involve anything dangerous as risking their life. i dont spank their azz for every lik mistake that they make. if its really sumthing really horrible like i mention up there, than were gonna have problem. i dont hate them for spanking meh while growing up and being yelled at and spank. infact when its done and over, i still luv them the same and with the great decipline that they taughtvmeh. without ma father to keep me in chk, i wouldve become a bad boi with no oneto teach me right from wrong and i admitted that i hate what my arents does to me but at this age, i think it was really well worth it. i wouldn't have this manners if it wasn't for ma azz kickin'.
LOL, I can barely read your 'sentences' Anyway, if they're participating in crime, thefts, and fights, they must be getting there somehow right? So I figured they were texting their friends to meet them in different places, like how my cousins do. So if you stop them from getting there in the 1st place, how would they cause any problems?
@heartsblooddupre how could we stop our kids from doing all that? do u expect them to tell us that they are doing it? i dont think they will ever tell u. i admit i have done that a few times and got ma ass whoop which i fear of doing it again or else ill get ma ass beat again. thats how spanking comeshand to hand when lecturing isn't woeking. u need to give them sum real life lesson u know. the only thing that can really stop them from doing so is make them feel pain.
honestly my religion, my pride and ma father dec
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