Spank Kids
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Spank Kids
Is Spanking Children an Effective Consequence?
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5 Discipline Strategies That Actually Work
Is Spanking an Appropriate Form of Discipline?
Discipline Strategies for Children Who Hit Their Parents
Surprising Facts About Spanking and Corporal Punishment
Is Spanking Still a Good Form of Punishment for Children?
8 Discipline Strategies That Are More Effective Than Spanking
Preschooler Discipline: Strategies and Challenges
How to Address Kids' Behavior Problems Effectively With Consequences
5 Different Types of Child Discipline
Why You Shouldn't Threaten Your Child With 'Santa's Naughty List'
Spanking Can Lead to Worse Behavior in Kids, Study Shows
Physical Punishment Does Not Improve Behavior, Study Finds
4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids
What Is the Difference Between Discipline and Child Abuse?
Identifying Normal Misbehavior Throughout a Child's Years
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Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the The Verywell Mind Podcast.
Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, is a board-certified pediatric psychologist, parent coach, author, speaker, and owner of A New Day Pediatric Psychology, PLLC.
Spanking is a widely debated topic. Most experts advise against using corporal punishment, but some parents believe that spanking is an effective discipline strategy .
Other parents admit they have occasionally spanked their child—especially when they were feeling overly stressed. Whichever camp they belong to, all parents need to know and closely consider the potential consequences of physical punishment, including spanking.
Sometimes, parents spank their children out of desperation. When kids frequently misbehave, parents may feel as though they are at the end of their rope and aren’t sure what else to do. Parents in these situations might say, “Nothing else seems to work.”
Without a consistent discipline strategy, it might feel like spanking is the best option. While spanking may alter behavior in the short-term, it rarely has a positive effect in the long term. Studies have shown that spanking is ineffective and is detrimental to children's development. 1
Parents may rely on spanking to "fix" behavior problems without trying alternative discipline strategies—or giving those options enough time to work.
Another common reason parents spank is out of exasperation, impulse, or anger. A parent who reacts out of frustration ("I can't believe you just did that!") might spank a child without thinking.
If you don't know how else to discipline your child, spanking might become the first line of defense. While it might feel like a solution at the moment, spanking won't solve the problem or teach your child better behavior.
Many parents later regret striking their children. Spanking can also cause lasting damage to the parent-child relationship. 1
Various cultural groups have historically held the belief that spanking is part of their upbringing and cultural background. However, the negative impact remains the same. Also, corporal punishment habits are the residual impact of colonialism that has been adopted by many cultural groups.
"Colonialism brought these domineering parenting practices to our cultures," says Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillenbrand, a parent coach and founder of LatinxParenting . "This isn’t a part of our collective DNA. There is some historical evidence of Black and Brown families being engaged with corporal punishment. However, colonialism brought many of those strategies."
In addition to being an inadequate solution to behavioral problems, spanking a child can actually create more harm than good. In fact, many studies have demonstrated that physically punishing a child, such as spanking, can lead to a host of issues. These potential problems include increased aggression, physical injury, anti-social behavior, and mental health issues. 2 Here is a closer look at why spanking is not effective.
A child who gets spanked for arguing with their sibling won't learn how to get along better in the future. Effective discipline teaches a child new skills and builds their competency and confidence. Spanking degrades trust and self-confidence, while only teaching a child what not to do.
Children do what parents do more than what they say. If you spank your child for hitting their sibling, for example, you're sending a confusing message. Studies have linked the experience of getting spanked to more aggressive behavior, mental health conditions, and other detrimental outcomes for the child (similar to the impact of being physically abused). 3
If they have been struck by a parent, a child might think, "I'm bad," and struggle with self-esteem, trust, and mental health issues. Children feeling shame are not motivated to improve their behavior and begin to feel that they cannot do better. 3
Hitting a child to modify their behavior tells them that they can't learn in a more positive way and don't deserve to be treated respectfully. Gentler discipline techniques are more effective while also building a kid's self-confidence.
Instead of helping your child think about what they could do better next time, spanking is more likely to make them angry at their parent . Kids in this situation begin to think in terms of “What can I do that won’t get me a spanking?” instead of “What’s the best choice I can make right now?” The spanking-avoidance dynamic can also encourage lying.
Sometimes, kids decide the misbehavior is “worth it.” They might even get "used to" corporal punishment, in which case it stops being a deterrent. A more effective discipline strategy includes understanding the reason for the behavior and having that conversation with the child in an authentic and open way. Punishment is about inflicting discomfort or pain, while discipline is about teaching and guiding.
If you have always used spanking to discipline your child, what will you do when they become a teen? Using physical punishment teaches kids that it's OK for the stronger person to hurt someone who does something that they don't like. Spanking employs shame and pain to discourage and punish rather than dealing with the root of the child's behavior. 1
According to a 2018 survey of pediatricians published in the journal Pediatrics , only 6% of the doctors surveyed endorsed spanking. Only 2.5% anticipated positive outcomes from the use of the discipline practice. 4 There are plenty of age-appropriate discipline strategies that you can use as an alternative to spanking throughout your child’s life.
Many discipline strategies are more effective than spanking. 4 You will want to consider alternative negative consequences that will reinforce your rules without hurting your child, such as removing privileges .
If your child colors on the walls, a logical consequence would be to have them wash the walls. This teaches them to have more respect for property. It also sends the message that their misbehavior will have consequences.
Restitution helps restore relationships and gives children the chance to learn new skills. The technique can be very effective for aggressive behavior and works well for children and teens of all ages.
Using praise to encourage positive behavior is another effective alternative to spanking. When you catch your child "doing good," make sure they know that you noticed. Kids tend to perform to parents' expectations. It is important that children's sense of self is not lost in parental expectations. Children need to develop a sense of pride in their own behavioral choices that is based on internal motivation, rather than external approval.
The goal of discipline should be to teach your child new skills that will give them the tools necessary to be a responsible adult. 4 Research shows that spanking is not an effective discipline strategy and has negative consequences—some of which can be lifelong.
When determining which discipline strategies to use, think about what you hope your child will gain from your intervention. Strategies like praise reward your child's positive behavior and build their confidence.
Gershoff ET. Spanking and child development: We know enough now to stop hitting our children . Child Dev Perspect . 2013;7(3):133-137. doi:10.1111/cdep.12038
American Psychological Association. The case against spanking .
Gershoff ET, Grogan-Kaylor A. Spanking and child outcomes: Old controversies and new meta-analyses . J Fam Psychol. 2016;30(4):453-69. doi:10.1037/fam0000191
Sege RD, Siegel BS. Effective discipline to raise healthy children . Pediatrics. 2018;142(6) doi:10.1542/peds.2018-3112
By Amy Morin, LCSW
Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, an international bestselling author of books on mental strength and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. She delivered one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.
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The American Academy of Pediatrics has expressed opposition to “all forms of corporal punishment,” defined to include spanking and also “kicking, shaking, or throwing children; scratching, pinching, biting, pulling hair, or boxing ears; forcing children to stay in uncomfortable positions; burning, scalding, or forced ingestion (for example, washing a child’s mouth out with soap or forcing [him] to swallow hot spices).”
Child abuse is a serious crime and should be punished as such. The academy is also right to oppose verbal punishment that “belittles, humiliates, denigrates, scapegoats, threatens, scares, or ridicules the child.” But it oversteps when it lumps spanking in with these harsh, heinous acts.
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A VIRAL video of a man spanking a child in public has sparked a debate about whether the punishment was too harsh.
The video shows a man, who many commenters believe is the child's grandfather, repeatedly smacking a young boy on the bottom.
He then tells a female child sitting next to the boy to, "Sit your a** down."
The video has been viewed millions of times after being shared on Twitter, Facebook and Reddit, and sparked much debate from commenters about the correct way to discipline children.
While many commenters said they were spanked when they were out of line as children and turned out fine, others said making children fear you is a poor way to parent.
"This is gross and anyone condoning it is disgusting as well," wrote one Twitter user who goes by the name Zach Hayes. "If you have to hit your kids to make them listen, you're the problem."
"That is far too much," wrote another who goes by Micah on Twitter. "Kids are learning and growing still. They're not full adults who understand everything. This kind of hitting is abuse."
Despite the fact that the child was hit multiple times, many people said that spanking is a necessary disciplining tactic sometimes.
Olympic hurdler James Carter even chimed in , replying to a re-posting of the video on Twitter.
"That's what my parents did to me and I made two Olympic teams and finals," Carter said.
Professional boxer Jamel Herring also commented on the video .
"Got my a** whooped as a kid... plus those whoopings in public not only embarrass you, it gets your act together," he wrote.
"All the people that are saying this is abuse probably disrespected their parents and lack discipline," added another user who goes by the name K.
"Compared to how I was whooped, this is light work."
Still many parents called the spanking "lazy parenting," "crossing the line" and the like.
Several also had a problem with the man choosing to discipline the young boy in public.
"Wow... hmmmmm I believe in spankings. I discipline my children with a occasional spank now n then," added another user who goes by the name Brandon on Twitter.
"That's how I was raised, my parents, grandparents, so on, and so on. I turned out fine and respectful to everyone. BUT, a spanking that bad with hand in public? I'd never do that."
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There's no place like home — if you're a kid in Kansas. You may have read about a new bill introduced by Rep. Gail Finney, D-Wichita, that "expands" on caregivers' rights regarding spanking, allowing parents to hit their children a defined number of times (bruises and marks and welts, oh my!) and letting any teachers who've been given permission take a swing, too. But what you're not hearing enough about are all those good reasons it should be totally fine to spank a kid. Let's clear those up for once and for all.
But first. CNN reported that this bill specified the following:
The legislation specifically would allow for spankings "up to ten forceful applications in succession of a bare, open-hand palm against the clothed buttocks of a child and any such reasonable physical force on the child as may be necessary to hold, restrain or control the child in the course of maintaining authority over the child, acknowledging that redness or bruising may occur on the tender skin of a child as a result."
The reason: Kids are waaaay out of line today, and their parents need to be able to hit them enough to get the job done, but without provoking a call from child services. As Finney noted in her statement :
The lack of an unambiguous statutory definition of parental corporal discipline has led to the inconsistent application of administrative child in need of care (CINC) enforcement and criminal charges, allowing some clear instances of child abuse to go un-prosecuted and un-abated and other clear instances of parental corporal discipline to result in administration officials removing children from the home and / or criminal charges against parents.
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I'm all for making sure clear instances of child abuse are prosecuted, but the solution to make it crystal clear would making hitting children illegal, not defining an absurd, arbitrary number of thwacks that are totally fine, so long as it's only 10 and not 12, which is definitely logically too much .
Consider please that even in Kansas, it is already illegal to hit former children, also known as adults. As in most places, they have a law , K.S.A. 21-5413, which states that battery is knowingly causing physical contact with another person when done in a rude, angry, or insulting manner. So basically, SPANKING AN ADULT ONE TIME (without consent) would be battery. Just once.
But 10 times for a kid? Totally cool. Welts optional. Let's call a spade a spade: This bill attempts to legitimize a terrible practice that has long been shown as ineffective. It wrongly reinforces the idea that there is such a thing as a good kind of spanking. It suggests there is a bad, abusive kind that should be illegal, but also a good, loving kind that only causes bruises and welts but must be tolerated because it helps nurture more effective, obedient citizens. It's just a different "style" of parenting, no better, no worse!
Yeah, a "different" style that just happens to be legalized assault. Even worse, it indefensibly suggests that there's some kind of logic to hitting that can be measured in actual strikes — 10 you're fine, 11 you're a child abuser? Should we let the domestic abuse shelters in on the secret? As if parents are actually thinking clearly when they spank, an
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