Spank Children
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Spank Children
For those who believe in corporal punishment do you have any stories of spanking your kids?
For those who believe in corporal punishment, have you ever spanked your kids past the age of 10? Do you spank with your hand, or with an object?
For those who believe in corporal punishment how do you spank your kids, pants up or pants down?
How do those who believe in corporal punishment spank their kids, over their knee or standing up?
As a child, did you ever get spanked in public where your parents pulled your pants and underwear down and spanked you on the bare bottom?
Was any one ever spanked face down on a bed with their pants pulled down?
For those who believe in corporal punishment, have you ever spanked your kids past the age of 10? Do you spank with your hand, or with an object?
For those who believe in corporal punishment how do you spank your kids, pants up or pants down?
How do those who believe in corporal punishment spank their kids, over their knee or standing up?
As a child, did you ever get spanked in public where your parents pulled your pants and underwear down and spanked you on the bare bottom?
Was any one ever spanked face down on a bed with their pants pulled down?
For those who believe in corporal punishment, do you spank your kids in public or do you take them home first?
If you got spanked when you were a child, was it bare bottom or over pants and underpants, and did you ever feel like you were going to pee during spankings?
What naughty thing did you do as a child that got you spanked the hardest?
My husband thinks that pulling my 7 years old son's pants down and spanking him is invasion of his privacy, is it?
What was your position to be spanked when you were a child?
Who has been spanked at home after being spanked at school? Why do parents do that?
How old were you the last time you were spanked as a kid, assuming you ever got spanked?
If you were spanked as a kid/adolescent, were there any punishments post-spanking?
Is it okay to spank my daughter on the bare bum if she is continuously being naughty and swearing?
For those who believe in corporal punishment, have you ever spanked your kids past the age of 10? Do you spank with your hand, or with an object?
For those who believe in corporal punishment how do you spank your kids, pants up or pants down?
How do those who believe in corporal punishment spank their kids, over their knee or standing up?
As a child, did you ever get spanked in public where your parents pulled your pants and underwear down and spanked you on the bare bottom?
Was any one ever spanked face down on a bed with their pants pulled down?
For those who believe in corporal punishment, do you spank your kids in public or do you take them home first?
My son was 14 when he was caught going into cars of our neighbors in the middle of the night. Someone called the police. The police knocked on my door and had a gun on me when I opened it. Definately not the best way to get woken up. They asked if I knew where my son was. I told them he was in bed when I laid down, but I would go check. He wasn't there. After 20 minutes of both myself and the police searching he finally came out from hiding. I immediately began interrogating my son while they were asking our neighbor if he wanted to press charges. My neighbor told them that he would not press
My son was 14 when he was caught going into cars of our neighbors in the middle of the night. Someone called the police. The police knocked on my door and had a gun on me when I opened it. Definately not the best way to get woken up. They asked if I knew where my son was. I told them he was in bed when I laid down, but I would go check. He wasn't there. After 20 minutes of both myself and the police searching he finally came out from hiding. I immediately began interrogating my son while they were asking our neighbor if he wanted to press charges. My neighbor told them that he would not press charges this time. The cops seeing how angry I was asked him again if he wanted to press charges as if they were afraid to leave him with me. My neighbor declined.
We got home and I asked my son why he was going through cars. Had he stolen anything? I told him to that I was disappointed in his behavior, but I was to angry to spank him right now. I told him that I would spank him when I didn't immediately get angry when I saw him because of his behavior and he would get 1 lick for every day that took because until then it would be abuse, not discipline. For now the best thing he could do is to stay inside the house end away from me.
It took 11 days before I could look at him and be calm. I looked at him and told him that it was time and sent him to get my sorority paddle off the wall. He got a good paddling that day. When we were done I told him that if he ever did something like that again I would press charges myself . If he wanted to act like a criminal he could find out first hand how criminals were treated. I told him that he knew right from wrong and I expected him to use that knowledge. I love you, but if you truely want to destroy your life and your future, I can't stop you. I will not enable you while you destroy your life, my trust, and your hopes and dreams for the future.
That was the last time I ever had to spank my son.
So after looking at the answers I've confirmed literally everything I've ever said, “I only spank my child when they deserve it" “after a warning" “with a fucking wooden paddle" I expected these HUGE amazing reasons to hit a child, I expected shit so good even me the king, the one who can kill literally any argument for corporal punishment would have to even partially agree with or at least think about.
I hold my standards as far as I hold myself, so that might be a bit unfair. But seriously I was expecting some “perfect" reasons to spank A child I was expecting shit worthy to brag about, like
So after looking at the answers I've confirmed literally everything I've ever said, “I only spank my child when they deserve it" “after a warning" “with a fucking wooden paddle" I expected these HUGE amazing reasons to hit a child, I expected shit so good even me the king, the one who can kill literally any argument for corporal punishment would have to even partially agree with or at least think about.
I hold my standards as far as I hold myself, so that might be a bit unfair. But seriously I was expecting some “perfect" reasons to spank A child I was expecting shit worthy to brag about, like another guy said in the answers “cute" whats with all the “cute" shit?
Yall have this giant fucking HOLY messiah, this all mighty “last resort" and I just ain't seeing it. So at this point I believe at this point where fighting the arguments themselves not the ways or reasons for doing it, in the words of Jue Viole Grace “I don't fight people weaker than me".
Seriously I honestly gave yall the benefit of the doubt somewhere in my heart, now that shits gone vanished, if it was even there in the first place.
There also another question on Quora “what is your spanking story" that has way more answers, and the answers Im sorry there weak, (please dont use argumentum popularium just because over 100+ people answered that question, especially since the answers are mixed).
I've looked and looked for a satisfactory reason to “abuse" children and I haven't found 1 not a single one, like I dare anyone to give me a good reason, like that person who “paddled” there child like there so many mistakes with that logic I can't even count it on my hands.
I'm sorry but there literally is no good reason like at all.
Debate Over Spanking Children | LoveToKnow
For those who believe in corporal punishment do you have any... - Quora
Spanking children : Why does it happen, and what are the effects?
How to Give a Spanking (with Pictures) - wikiHow
Spanking Children & Their Brains by Rowena Starling - YouTube
Spanking children doesn't help them learn self-control or social skills, and studies consistently show that spanking increases a child's risk of developing behavior problems. But how can we be sure that spanking is harmful, and what can parents do instead when their children misbehave?
"Spanking" refers to slapping a child across the buttocks,
usually with a bare hand. It’s a form of corporal punishment,
defined by researchers (Donnelly and Straus 2005) as
"the use of physical force with the intention of causing a
child to experience pain, but not injury, for the purpose of
correcting or controlling the child’s behavior."
Who wants to control a child by inflicting pain?
It’s safe to assume that most parents don’t enjoy spanking
their children. If they spank, they do it because they believe spanking is the most effective disciplinary tactic available. Or because
they’re in a stressful situation, fed up by misbehavior, and unable
to think of a better response.
But whatever the case, it’s clear that corporal punishment is a
cultural phenomenon, something that people are socialized to do.
Parents don't automatically spank their children. It depends on their perceptions of what's normal or expected (Chiocca 2017). And in most cultures, spanking isn't expected.
When anthropologists reviewed parenting practices in 186 different
world cultures, they found that corporal punishment was frequent or typical in only 40% of them. And among some groups – like hunter-gatherers –
corporal punishment was rare, or altogether absent (Ember and Ember
2005).
In many countries today, people are questioning their traditional
acceptance of spanking, and making big changes.
Since 1979, 54
nations have outlawed corporal punishment (Global
Initiative to End Corporal Punishment of Children 2019). The American
Academy of Pediatrics has recently issued recommendations that parents avoid
all forms of physical punishment, including spanking (Sege et al
2018).
Yet some parents still favor corporal punishment,
especially those who endorse authoritarian principles of
child-rearing (Coley et al 2016; Friedson 2016; Gunroe 2013).
What does research reveal about the effects? Social scientists are still putting together all the pieces. But there is agreement on many points.
Yes. Some parents resort to spanking because their kids are particularly aggressive or defiant, which means the causation is bidirectional: Child aggression can trigger spanking, and spanking can make kids more aggressive (Barnes et al 2013).
This doesn’t mean spanking is a good way to handle defiance. But it does make it hard to tell how much of a child's behavior problems are caused by spanking.
It's also evident that the effects of spanking are moderated by culture. Kids experience greater harm in societies where corporal punishment is less commonplace.
Corporal punishment has been linked with all sorts of behavior
problems, including aggression, paranoia, school failure, poor emotional
regulation, and low empathy (Larzelere and Kuhn 2005; Johnson et al
2006; Alyahri and Goodman 2008; Chang et al 2003; Gershoff 2002).
How do we explain these links? One possibility is that corporal punishment contributes to the development of problems. In other words, maybe spanking makes children's behavior worsen over time.
It's a worrying idea. But how can we prove it? We need to do two things.
1. We need to distinguish spanking from other forms of corporal
punishment.
Many studies lump together spanking and harsher forms
of discipline, like hitting children with objects. As a result, it’s not clear how much trouble is
associated with spanking, as opposed to more extreme punishments and abuse.
2. We need to rule out alternative explanations for the link
between spanking and behavior problems.
Some kids are more
defiant, difficult, or slow to obey. We’d expect these kids to get
spanked more frequently than kids who are well-behaved. If there is a
link between spanking and behavior problems, we need to be sure it isn’t
driven by these pre-existing differences between kids.
Ordinarily, the best way to get answers is to run controlled,
randomized experiments. But that would be unethical. So researchers have
tried another approach: the prospective study.
Prospective studies follow the same individuals over the long
term. They measure behavior at several points in time, allowing them to
track how people change. This allows researchers to control for
individual differences in child aggression, intelligence, and other
traits.
If, for example, a study shows that kids who are spanked are more
likely than other kids to become increasingly antisocial, we’ve got
evidence that spanking causes aggression.
And that’s what the research shows.
Spanking children at a young age leads to increased aggression, and may also set the stage for slower cognitive development.
A
study of low-income European-American, African-American, and
Mexican-American toddlers found that kids who were spanked at 12 months
were more likely to have aggressive behavior problems at age 3. They
also scored lower on the Bayley test of mental development (Berlin et al
2009).
Were parents merely responding to their children's
shortcomings? Spanking children because they were more aggressive or
slow? Maybe the child's behavior caused the spankings, instead of the
other way around.
But if that were the case, we'd expect to see the problems precede
spankings. And that's not what the researchers found. The team tested
kids when they were two, and looked to see if aggressive behavior
problems or low Bayley scores predicted spanking a year later. They
didn't.
Studies of preschoolers have reported similar results, even after controlling
for common risk factors, like child neglect, abuse, or having a mother with
mental health problems (e.g., MacKenzie et al 2012; MacKenzie et al 2015).
And while some research has failed to find a link
between spanking and cognitive outcomes (Maguire-Jack et al 2012), the other part of the story -- the link between spanking and behavior problems -- is on solid ground.
For example, when Jennifer Lansford and her colleagues tracked a group of
children for more than a decade, they found that kids were more likely to develop antisocial tendencies if they were spanked during early childhood.
Moreover, there was a dosage effect: Kids who continued to receive spankings during the school years tended to develop the most severe problems. They also had the least
positive relationships with their parents (Lansford et al 2009).
Subsequent studies -- conducted in Japan and the United States -- have reported similar results. When kids experience spankings at an earlier age, they are more likely to develop behavior problems later on (Coley et al 2014; MacKenzie et al 2013; MacKenzie et al 2015; Okuzono et al 2017; Taylor et al 2010).
And once again, these links persist even after researchers control for other child risk factors, like maternal mental health, child temperament, and socioeconomic status (Coley et al 2014; MacKenzie et al 2013; MacKenzie et al 2015; Okuzono et al 2017; Taylor et al 2010).
Robert Larzelere and his colleagues have wondered about this point. In particular, they've voiced skepticism about the causal link between spanking and antisocial behavior (Larzelere et al 2010). Their reasoning goes
like this:
Suppose that the observed link between spanking and antisocial
behavior is driven by the kids themselves. Some kids are more unruly, so they provoke more censure.
If true, we should find links between antisocial behavior and disciplinary actions in general -- not just physical punishments.
Larzelere’s team tested this prediction by re-analyzing data from
an older study that reported correlations between spanking and
antisocial behavior.
Their results? In addition to a link between antisocial behavior and spanking, the researchers also found links between
So Larzerle's team found support for their idea. Individual differences explain part of the correlation between anti-social behavior and spanking. Some parents have to cope with more difficult kids. We can’t assume that spanking created their behavior problems.
But this doesn't tell us that spanking is the solution. The evidence suggests otherwise.
When Robert Larzelere conducted a meta analysis of 26 published studies on corporal punishment, he and his colleague Brett Kuhn concluded that even mild physical punishment -- if used as the primary method of discipline -- was linked with poorer child outcomes (Larzelere and Kuhn 2005).
When it came to solving behavior problems, the most effective approach was combination of reasoning and non-physical punishment (Larzelere and Kuhn 2005).
That’s consistent with a large body of research on the
development of cooperation, moral reasoning, and self-control.
What
can children learn from being spanked? Not much. The experience of
being spanked doesn’t show children how to better control their
impulses. It doesn’t provide them with any insights into peacefully
negotiating conflicts with peers. It doesn’t help them wrestle with
moral questions, or develop feelings of compassion and social
responsibility.
In fact, it's not even clear that spanking children teaches them what they did wrong.
Very young children are probably too distressed and confused to understand the parent's point. Their protector has turned against them, provoking emotions that overwhelm their ability to attend to anything else. And even older children have trouble making sense of corporal punishment.
When researchers in New Zealand interviewed 80 kids between the ages of 5 and 14, most kids said they had experienced physical punishments, and approximately half the kids reported that they sometimes didn't understand the disciplinary message (Dobbs et al 2006).
So corporal punishment doesn't provide children with the tools they need to correct their own behavior. For this, they need our thoughtful, constructive help.
For instance, kids need us to talk with them about their feelings. What should you do when you feel really angry? When we coach children on how to handle their own emotions, we help them develop self-control.
Kids also benefit when we talk with them about other people's feelings and perspectives. How does it make your sister feel when you knock down her tower of blocks? What can you do to make amends?
When we help kids understand how their behavior affects others, we help them develop an internal sense of right and wrong, and provide them with crucial insights for getting along with other people.
Kids need a lot of other things too, especially the kids who get into trouble the most, who often have attention problems , poor working memory skills, or other difficulties. They need us to act as good role models, and they need an environment that feels safe, supportive, and fair. Instead of threats and condemnation, they need friendly reminders (to stay on track) and positive reinforcement (like a hearty "thank you!") when they are kind or helpful.
Parents provide this sort of help when they use positive parenting techniques, and other, non-combative approaches to shaping and correcting behavior.
For more information, see my these evidence-based tips for handling aggressive or disruptive behavior, as well as this guide to positive parenting techniques. In addition, see these articles about teaching children about emotions, and supporting the development of self-control .
Research suggests that the answer is yes.
For example, the only form of spanking I've seen any researcher defend is "conditional
spanking" -- one or two light slaps to the
buttocks, administered with a bare hand, without anger, and immediately after a child has
misbehaved.
By definition, conditional spanking is used sparingly -- only after
non-physical punishments have been attempted, and only after the child has
failed to heed a warning.
Is this approach to spanking as detrimental as other forms of spanking? Probably not. In part, that's because parents who use conditional spanking do so infrequently. But it seems likely that emotion also plays a role.
Research suggests that the negative effects of spanking increase when parents show low levels of warmth and sensitivity (Berlin et al 2009). And in general, we know that children suffer when their parents are frequently angry, cold,
mean-spirited, or cruel (O’Leary 1995).
As noted by Lei Chang and colleagues, "the expression of anger,
coldness, or hatred that accompanies the physical act of parental
aggression could well be more detrimental than the act of aggression
itself" (Chang et al 2003).
That's harmful too, and not just to the kids who get spanked. Research reveals that schools treat students unequally, perpetuating a climate of racism, and contributing to racist attitudes.
There haven't been as many studies addressing corporal punishment in the schools, but the research that exists is consistent with what we know about parental spanking.
In countries throughout the world, school corporal punishment is linked with worse emotional and academic outcomes (Gershoff 2017; Ogando Portela 2015; Talwar et al 2011).
There is also evidence that acts of public shaming backfire. They tend to make individuals feel either hopeless, or angry and unrepentant. These aren't feelings that inspire kids to improve their behavior.
And then there is a very different problem, which is that kids aren't subjected to equal treatment. Studies reveal that corporal punishment is meted out with bias.
For example, in U.S. states where corporal punishment in the schools is legal, Black students are more likely to receive physical punishment than White students, and this disparity is unrelated to rates of misbehavior.
For a given offense, black children receive more severe punishments than white students do (Gershoff and Font 2016).
Similar unjustified disparities have been observed for students with disabilities, including autism (Gershoff and Font 2016).
So it's likely that corporal punishment harms more than the students who receive the blows. It also creates a harmful atmosphere -- a climate that reinforces racist attitudes, and the stigmatization of people with disabilities.
International research suggests that spanking is problematic in
cultures throughout the world. I've yet to see compelling evidence that
corporal punishment is ever a good thing. But culture does appear to make a difference. In some cultures, the negative effects of spanking are
more marked.
To see why, imagine two kids. Both get spankings, but they live in different settings.
We might expect Fred to have a tougher time. His parents'
disciplinary tactics are out of step with community norms. As a result,
Fred may be more likely to view spanking as a sign that his parents
are -- distressingly -- out of
control. So Fred experiences more psychological harm.
We can see this playing out in Norway, where spanking has been illegal since 1987. Most ethnic Norwegians reject spanking as a disciplinary tactic, but among the Sami, an indigenous minority group, people often accept spanking as a traditional practice.
Does it make a difference? It seems to. Among ethnic Norwegians, physical punishment predicts a
pattern of increasing
anti-social behavior over time. Among the Sami, researchers have found no such
correlation
(Javo et al 2004).
Similar differences among ethnic groups might exist in the United States (e.g.,Whaley 2000; Simons et al 2013), though some studies have failed to detect such differences (Gershoff et al 2012).
What's better documented are differences between nations:
In studies of corporal punishment in 6 cultures (China,
India, Italy, Kenya, Philippines, and Thailand) researchers found that physical
discipline was always linked with increased child aggression and
anxiety. But the link was weaker in countries where corporal punishment
was commonplace (Lansford et al 2005; Gershoff et al 2010).
First, as I've already noted, the research doesn't indicate that spanking is sometimes a good thing. Rather, it suggests that spanking kids may be less harmful in certain settings.
Second, we need to consider the larger cultural message that spanking sends. Spanking may have the effect of legitimizing aggression as a way to resolve conflicts.
In part, I'm thinking of research showing links between the corporal punishment of children and interpersonal violence.
For example, in one study, kids subjected to spanking were more likely to endorse hitting as an acceptable way to resolve conflicts with siblings and peers (Simons and Wurtele 2010). Another study confirms that rates of peer violence among adolescents is higher in countries that permit corporal punishment (Elgar et al 2018).
But I'm also thinking about large-scale correlations between corporal punishment and societal values.
Remember that massive, cross-cultural analysis I mentioned at the beginning of this article? The one featuring 186 different world cultures?
When Carol and Melvin Ember dug into this data set, they found that kids were more often subjected to physical punishment in
societies with high levels of social stratification and low levels of
democracy (Ember and Ember 2005).
And when Jennifer
Lansford and Kenneth Dodge studied the sample sample, they discovered that corporal punishment was more
common in societies that endorse violence and engage in frequent warfare
(Lansford and Dodge 2008).
So maybe physical punishment functions as a training tool, one that prepares kids for living in a world where might makes right.
That doesn't mean that parents are trying to make children more aggressive. On the contrary, they may be trying to teach their children to be more submissive -- to conform to the harsh realities of an authoritarian or violent status quo.
But either way, these lessons contribute to the cycle of violence, and they perpetuate systems that deny people their basic, human rights.
It's a sobering thought, and one worth reflecting on when people try to justify spanking as a "important" or "necessary" for the development of a child. Whose interests does spanking really serve?
To understand opposing viewpoints about the movement to ban spanking, I recommend two authors.
Murray Straus was perhaps the most eminent researcher to advocate the abolition of
spanking. His 2005 chapter, “Children should never, ever be spanked no matter what the circumstances,” can be downloaded directly from the organization, Save the Children.
In this paper, Straus drives home the points that (1) spanking children
may be harmful in ways that aren’t evident until kids get older, and (2)
spanking children isn’t especially effective, and is therefore
unnecessary.
Robert Larzelere
has published several methodological critiques of anti-spanking research.
His focus is on distinguishing between "conditional spanking," and other, more severe forms of corporal punishment.
As noted on his university’s website, "Dr. Larzelere is concerned about
the trend to adopt increasingly extreme anti-spanking bans throughout
the world, bans that have no sound scientific basis." As extensive list of his publications can be found on this page; it includes links to
several studies and papers about spanking children.
Copyright © 2006-2021 by Gwen Dewar, Ph.D.; all rights reserved.
For educational purposes only. If you suspect you have a medical problem, please see a physician.
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Content of "Spanking children: What are the consequences" last modified 3/2019
image credits for "Spanking children: What are the consequences?"
Title image of toddler among flowers by Guian Bolisay / flickr (original image was modified to desaturate colors)
image of abadoned teddy bear by Ulrica Torning / flickr
Image of father pointing by Jeffrey / flickr
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