Son Sperm

Son Sperm
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I'M NEVER DRINKING WATER OR MILK OR SODA OR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.
A Reddit user allegedly let his OWN MOTHER accidentally drink his semen, and now he's writing about it on the internet.
Yup, put your drink down for this one. You're not gonna want to take another sip after reading this.
Today, I learned two very valuable lessons: One, never jack-off into a cup, and two, only drink beverages out of the bottle.
BRB, pouring my coffee out the window.
Citations: TIFU (Reddit) , Son Let Mother Drink Semen (Dude Comedy)
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I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
Aug 11, 2014, 12:59 AM EDT | Updated Oct 10, 2014
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
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I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com
I have become desensitized to the annual ritual where my dad hands me an envelope he's received in the mail addressed to me and that has no return address. After 14 years, we are both nearly positive of the envelope's origin. I open one side and remove the bill just enough to see Fairfax Cryobank across the top, and then hand it back to him. "I think this is for you."
My mom and I visited Fairfax Cryobank for the first time on September 25, 2000. The doctor explained my risk of sterility and the sperm banking process, and then asked my mom for written permission for me to use pornography.
The previous night my dad had asked if I "know how to get it out" or if I "need help." I kept my eyes fixed on the same textbook sentence I had already read 30 times without realizing and said, "I know how; no thanks, Dad," thrilled that the dull lamp in my bedroom hid my features, hot and red as a mature habanero. At 16, I could only laugh with friends at my dad's inquiry, unable to understand his courage.
I did need help from the magazines, however. With my mom one room over, chemotherapy to treat my aggressive bone cancer beginning three days later, and the sterile cup and alcohol swab on the counter next to me, I wondered if anything other than live action would do the job.
I returned to the cryobank once more before starting chemo, this time less nervous and with both parents present in the waiting room. "Are you done already?" my dad asked after I emerged from the room with the brown couch that so many with cancer before me had been forced to execute on.
My friends enjoyed this question even more than my dad's others.
Year after year my dad handed me the envelope and then I handed it right back to him. And year after year a statement that I had read in the resource spermbankdirectory.com rang louder: "The efficacy of the freezing is questionable when [sperm] has been frozen for more than 12 years." If that is true then my biological clock would stop ticking before my 29th birthday. That was almost two years ago.
In vitro fertilization is wildly expensive and has low success rates, and even though my semen samples were high in both volume and sperm concentration -- what I call Supersperm -- I could only bank twice. So four years ago, with no baby-rearing prospective partners or desire to be a father, I told my parents not to pay the $395 annual fee to keep my sperm frozen. "If I decide to have kids then adoption will be more feasible." Both of my parents denied my request even faster than my dad takes back the Fairfax Cryobank envelope.
I contacted Fairfax Cryobank about banked sperm having a 12-year life. "We just looked at a different sample that was provided around the same time yours was, and we saw no change in it," a researcher emailed me.
A 2009 study found that younger men produce smarter children. Regardless of my age, if I have children then they'll have been fathered by a 16-year-old. For women who balk at in vitro fertilization, consider my frozen sperm's youth a natural boost to your potential child's standardized test scores, saving you from paying for prep classes and increasing your child's chance at being admitted into schools like University of Virginia, my alma mater. That is one envelope grandpa would love to see.
I write and I love jellybeans, cancerslayerblog.com

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Semen is a bodily fluid that is secreted by the gonads of male animals. It contains spermatozoa and fructose and other enzymes that help the sperm to survive and facilitate successful fertilization. During the process of ejaculation, the semen is ejaculated from the seminal vesicle in the pelvis, which is where it is produced.
Image Credit: Tatiana Shepeleva / Shutterstock.com
The volume of semen released per ejaculate varies. It is estimated that an average of around 3.4 milliliters (mL) is ejaculated at one time. The amount ejaculated can be as high as 4.99 mL or as low as 2.3 mL.
If there is a prolonged gap between ejaculations, the number of sperm in the semen increases, but there is no overall increase in the semen.
Semen passes through the ejaculatory ducts and mixes with fluids from the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands. The seminal vesicles produce a viscous, fructose-rich fluid. This forms around 65-70% of the semen base.
The white color of the semen is due to secretion from the prostate glands containing enzymes, citric acid, lipids, and acid phosphatase which, taken together, forms around 25-30% of the semen base. At each ejaculation, around 200-500 million spermatozoa are released by the testes. This forms about 2-5% of the semen composition.
The bulbourethral glands produce a clear secretion that helps in the mobility of the sperm cells in the vagina and cervix. In addition, this clear secretion reduces the thickness of the channel that the sperm cells swim through and adds a cohesive, jelly-like consistency to the semen. The glands’ secretion contributes less than 1% to the overall semen composition.
Semen also contains more than 50 different compounds including hormones, endorphins, neurotransmitters, and immunosuppressants. Other substances present in the semen include:
Semen also consists of a variety of proteins that have antimicrobial activity against bacteria, viruses, and fungi.
Also present in the semen are mood-enhancing compounds such as cortisol, estrone, oxytocin, thyrotropin-releasing hormone, prolactin, melatonin, and serotonin. For this reason, scientists have begun studying the health benefits of semen intake, both orally and vaginally. Some of the studies into the effects of swallowing semen are described here.
In a Dutch study of women who engaged in oral sex and swallowed the semen, the researchers found that swallowing semen was associated with a lower risk of preeclampsia. One hypothesis for this is that substances in the semen adapt the mother’s immune system so that it accepts foreign proteins present in sperm, as well as in the placenta and fetus. This maintains the blood pressure at a low level and thereby reduces the preeclampsia risk.
Research has also shown that some women are infertile or miscarry due to the presence of antibodies that destroy the proteins or antigens present in their partner’s semen. Having oral sex and swallowing the semen of the partner may help make the pregnancy safer and more successful as the woman is swallowing her partner's antigens.
Work carried out by reproductive expert and psychologist Gordon Gallup from the State University of New York (SUNY) at Albany suggests that swallowing semen could provide a cure for morning sickness. Gordon hypothesizes that pregnant women vomit as a result of their bodies rejecting genetic material in the sperm as a foreign substance, but that by swallowing and ingesting the sperm of the baby’s father, they can build up immunity.
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In a study conducted by researchers from the University of Saskatchewan, a protein in semen was found to act on the female brain to induce ovulation. That protein is the same molecule that controls the growth, maintenance, and survival of neurons. The findings suggest that semen may work as a signaling hormone that acts via the hypothalamus and pituitary gland of the female brain, which triggers the release of other hormones involved in prompting ovulation.
Some studies have shown that semen extracted from bulls rejuvenates damaged hair. Semen has been found to contain many proteins that may complement the protein present in hair molecules.
Semen can contain several viruses that may be transmitted via bodily fluids from an infected man. Some common examples of such sexually transmitted infections (STIs) include the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), hepatitis B and C, herpes, and chlamydia.
The risk of transmitting an STI through oral sex is higher if there is an open sore in the mouth or if a person has gingivitis and bleeding gums. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, hepatitis B can also be transmitted through contact with infected semen if an open sore is present in the mouth.
The human papillomavirus has emerged as a serious concern in relation to oral sex. This virus can cause cervical cancer, anal cancer, and the development of other growths such as genital warts. In 2013, some research suggested the virus can even cause lung cancer.
In 2010, a multinational review published in the British Medical Journal demonstrated that the incidence of oropharyngeal squamous cell carcinoma is on the rise in Western countries and that this increase seems to be linked to HPV, particularly the HPV-16 strain. The article implied that HPV is spread through sex, but in particular, oral sex.
The transmission of chlamydia and gonorrhea through oral sex has also become a concern. In May 2011, a study of female commercial sex workers showed that one in 25 of the workers had chlamydia in their throats. In addition, one in 50 of the sex workers had gonorrhea in their throats.
Some cultures believe that semen has special properties of masculinity. The idea of semen be
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